by J. O Mantel
“I think we can both agree that we’re single, as for us being bachelors … that remains to be seen.” Andy gave her a smile before bringing the martini glass back to his lips.
Hunter remained silent and continued with his drink, his eyes scanning the club. “So, how does a girl like you, end up in a place like this?” Hunter questioned.
“You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I’ve been asked that particular question.” She brought the glass to her lips and took another sip of her drink. “Short answer, I don’t have a life.”
“And the long answer?” Hunter asked.
“This is who I am. This club is my whole life, it’s all I’ve ever been. I don’t do relationships, relationships are trouble because when they get real, people get hurt. For that reason alone, I decided to dedicate my love to something else, something that I knew wouldn’t hurt me. This place is my life, hell, if I wasn’t so afraid of a tetanus shot or catching some disease, I’d sleep here.”
“Seriously?” Andy asked.
“No!” She chuckled.
“You’ve never done relationships?”
“I’m happier on my own. I like the idea of no commitment, it’s too painful. This way, I’m free to do whatever I like.”
Hunter had to admire her ambition. He didn’t know the woman very well, they were practically strangers, but the way she spoke her mind gave Hunter the impression that she must have come from a good upbringing.
“But don’t you ever get lonely?” Andy asked.
“I don’t have time to get lonely. Running this place keeps me busy enough that I don’t have to worry about that.”
On the inside, Hunter wanted to protest and tell Stephanie that the single life isn’t everything people make it out to be. However, he decided against it; it wasn’t his business to dictate how she ran her private life, as he barely knew her. As he downed the rest of his Jim and Coke, his bladder screamed at him.
“Can I use the restroom?” he asked.
“Sure. Use the one out back, just behind the bar and through the kitchen.”
Hunter got out of his seat and headed in the direction she pointed and disappeared through the door. Pouring herself another drink, she raised her head to Andy. “I couldn’t help but notice how you can’t keep your eyes off him,” she said.
Andy didn’t deny or acknowledge her comment, instead he replied, “Was I really that obvious?”
“Just a little, and I happen to have a pretty good gaydar, working in a place like this kind of has its perks.” She smiled as she sat back down beside him.
Andy blushed and realized too late that he was doing a terrible job of hiding just how much he enjoyed being around Hunter.
Noticing that a deep shade of red had now washed over him, Stephanie said, “you don’t need to feel uncomfortable around me, Andy, I’m used to seeing this sort of stuff every day. But didn’t I hear Hunter say he was married once? To a woman?”
“Yeah, he said that.”
“Does he know how you feel?” she questioned.
“We’ve … spoken.” A lump formed in his throat as he took another swig of his drink. He knew Stephanie was only making conversation, after all, she was the manager of a club, and pleasing customers was what it was all about. In her eyes, they were both single men and so, in what was typical fashion, it was obvious she was pondering ways to try and set them up. Obviously, it was all a waste of time, considering he and Hunter hadn’t had the ‘talk’ they’d planned to have before his mother had interjected with the whole Daddy situation. Andy shifted his eyes from Stephanie to behind the counter where he noticed something hanging on the wall. His eyes widened as he asked, “Where did you get that?” He pointed to the calendar sitting on the counter behind her.
“My cousin gave it to me.”
“This isn’t even due to be released until later this year. How can your cousin have a copy?”
“He’s a photographer, he’s the one who took the shots. He gives me copies of all his works.”
Andy got out of his seat and wandered behind the counter. He grabbed the calendar, just as Hunter walked through the door. Noticing Andy behind the counter, he asked, “What are you doing back here?”
As Andy turned, Hunter noticed he was holding the calendar.
“Why do you have that?” Hunter asked.
“It’s mine,” Stephanie cut in.
Hunter and Andy stared at her in silence for a few seconds. Hunter had a feeling in his stomach, a feeling that he couldn’t control. It wasn’t pain, and it wasn’t nausea, but it made him smile.
Andy turned the page to Mr. February and placed the calendar on the counter in front of Stephanie. She looked down at the picture, then turned her head and looked at Hunter.
“Of course! I thought I recognized the picture, I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection earlier,” she said.
Andy flipped the pages to the back of the calendar where he revealed himself as Mr. December.
“Wow!” Stephanie gasped. “You two really look amazing, you all do. These are really great shots.”
The three of them stood around the counter. Stephanie looked from the calendar to Hunter and then Andy. A slightly awkward silence stretched out between them, but it was Stephanie who finally broke it.
“Okay, this is totally going to sound corny, but the two of you need to sign it, please.” She bent down and pulled a marker from one of the drawers and handed it first to Hunter. Turning over the pages, back to his photo as Mr. February, Hunter scribbled his name over his washboard abs. He then handed the marker to Andy who did the same with his photo.
“December can’t come soon enough,” she chuckled. “Thank you,” she whispered, placing the calendar back on the wall. It was obvious to Andy what Stephanie was trying to do, and he avoided eye contact with her, while at the same time allowing his eyes to once again meet Hunter’s. As awkward as the situation appeared with the three of them standing there, Hunter realized something, something that had taken him a long time to accept. He was finally ready to admit that maybe there was hope for happiness again in his future, and maybe that future was with Andy.
AS HUNTER PREPARED the usual Easter feast that he did every year, he waited for his mother to come over. It was the same tradition: his mother would bring her pot roast, and his in-laws took care of the lamb, while Andy and his parents wowed them with a new dessert every year. He still hadn’t forgiven his mother over their conversation about his father, and the last he’d heard, Bradley was still in town, and he still wanted to speak to him.
The more time Hunter and Andy spent together, the more he found himself confused with emotion and he really wanted to talk about that. With their demanding work schedules at the station, and Andy living back at home with his parents, it was impossible to have more than five minutes alone together. Thanks to the upcoming Easter long weekend, which also happened to be Hunter’s birthday, Andy had booked them a flight to San Francisco, for just the two of them. Hunter was against the idea of leaving Lili for yet another weekend, but they needed this time away, they needed to sit down and work things out.
As much as Hunter was going to miss his little girl, he knew they had to do this. If this was the only chance Hunter had to sort himself out, he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. He’d arranged for Judith and the in-laws to babysit Lili while they were away, so this was the last time all of them would be together, for a while anyway.
“Daddy, where did you put the brownies?”
“In the fridge, angel, on the bottom shelf.”
Pulling the door open, Lili grabbed the plate of brownies she and her grandmother had made the night before. She was placing them on the counter beside Hunter when he heard the key turn in the front door.
“Could you go help Grandma, baby girl? Daddy’s hands are full,” Hunter asked as he removed the roast veggies from the oven.
“Grandma!” Lili yelled as she ran from the kitchen.
“Hello, sweetheart,” she kneeled down and greeted her granddaughter with a kiss. “Where’s your daddy?” she asked.
“Cooking the vegetables,” Lili told her.
Walking into the kitchen, Judith placed the pot roast on the stovetop before she turned to face Hunter, who was now reaching over the sink.
“Hello, sweetheart,” she said faintly.
“Hi,” he replied, but he didn’t turn to look at her.
Judith reached out and touched his hand softly, making him aware that she was standing right beside him. He was startled by her touch, and quickly turned to face her for a second before he remembered he’d rather not look at her. It was going to take some time before he could ever look at his mother the same way again. He still didn’t have any answers, yet he wasn’t going to let her ruin his weekend, and his birthday.
Miranda and Pierce arrived a short while later. As usual, Miranda didn’t disappoint with a treat of her own, choosing a peppermint chocolate mousse cake, with whipped cream, and making Lili’s face light up. It wasn’t long before Marion, Jack, and Andy arrived for the celebrations, and as the guests sat at the table, Andy headed to the kitchen.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Great!”
“Can I give you a hand?”
“Andy, you don’t live here anymore, I can manage. Just sit down and enjoy yourself.”
It wasn’t long before everyone was seated at the table. As with every year, Easter was a success at Hunter’s place, especially when it came to the beaming smile on Lili’s face when she opened all her chocolate candy. Bree never cared much for chocolate, so she would always give her stash to Lili, or hide it in a secret location away from Hunter.
“When are you boys leaving?” Marion asked.
“Tomorrow morning,” Andy answered quickly.
“How long will the two of you be gone?” Judith asked.
“We’ll be back Tuesday.”
Judith’s mouth curved into a smile, and while Hunter’s attention was focused on his daughter, who was sitting between Miranda and Andy, he felt her eyes all over him. It was amazing how she didn’t have to say a single word, and something like a simple stare could alter Hunter’s mood.
He hated this distance between them, a distance he’d created, but his mother hadn’t given him any answers. He pushed her out of his mind and focused on Lili, and the next three days just being about him and Andy. As Hunter looked up from the table, he observed Andy talking with Miranda, and he couldn’t help but notice how seeing Andy with Lili tugged at his heartstrings. He couldn’t believe how happy she was, and how well the two of them were getting along. He and Bree were happy, very happy, in every possible way. But recently he’d started to wonder, what if the dynamic of things changed?
After finishing dessert, Marion, Judith, and Miranda insisted on cleaning the dishes while the men kept Lili occupied in the living room. Hunter prepared her overnight bag for the weekend, and when he returned to the group, he found Lili’s head resting on Pierce’s lap and she was sound asleep.
“Hunter?”
Miranda’s voice startled him from behind.
“Yes?” Hunter turned to look at her.
“I think we should get this little angel home, and to bed.”
“Yes, I think that would be a good idea,” Hunter agreed.
Miranda walked over to the couch and gently lifted Lili into her arms. After saying goodbye to Judith, Jack, Marion, and Andy, she walked to the door. Hunter handed Pierce the backpack, and as they walked through the door to the car, he said, “Please, if you need anything, or if something happens—”
“I’ll do exactly what a grandmother does, and I’ll take care of her,” she assured him.
“I know that, but—”
“No buts, Hunter. This weekend is for you and Andy to enjoy your birthday. I don’t want you worrying about Lili. Now, I know that’s easier said than done for you, but you need to start caring about you and you only. Lili will always be here, as will your mother, Pierce, and I. Stop worrying and enjoy your birthday.”
Hunter was about to say something, when Miranda said, “Don’t even try to pretend that you’re not looking forward to this weekend. I can see it plastered all over your face.”
“What? I’m not …” but no sooner had the words left his mouth, than Miranda gave him an easygoing smile, and he realized he actually was looking forward to this time away.
“There, that’s better. Now, kiss your daughter goodbye and go.”
Hunter leaned into the car and fastened Lili’s seatbelt, her head was cocked to the side, and he brushed the hair out of her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“Goodbye, angel. Daddy loves you,” he whispered.
As he pulled himself out of the car, his gaze turned to meet Miranda’s, and he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her, whispering, “Thank you.”
After saying goodbye to Pierce, Hunter watched as they drove out of the street. He turned and headed back inside where he saw Marion and Jack making their way toward the front door.
“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” Marion told him, kissing him on the cheek.
“You’re welcome. Thank you for coming.”
He said goodbye to Jack, and not far behind him was Andy who looked at him and said, “The plane leaves at six. See you at my place around four, no later than four thirty?”
“Got it,” Hunter assured him. “I’ll be in the Uber at four.”
With a casual smile, Andy got in the car with his parents, and Hunter watched as they drove down the street. He turned and headed back inside, shutting the door behind him. As he wandered back through the living room, he noticed his mother still in the kitchen. He was leaving for his trip tomorrow, and despite how he was feeling toward her right now, he wanted to at least try and make amends.
“Mom?” he called.
Judith spun around, her bloodshot eyes leveling with his. She forced a smile, and although Hunter had asked her questions about Bradley, now that he’d experienced this distance between them, he wasn’t sure whether he still wanted the answers to those questions. There was something about his mother’s apologetic look that made Hunter look at her with sympathy, rather than anger and disappointment.
“Is there something else you needed me to do, Hunter? Once I’ve washed up here, I’ll head home.”
By the way her voice sounded, Hunter was sure she was ready to start crying at any moment. He reached for the cloth she had thrown over her shoulder, and placed it on the kitchen counter.
“I’d like to sit and talk, Mom. Not about … him, or any of that stuff. I want to talk to you about something more important.”
Judith’s eyes widened, and her mouth curved into a warm smile.
“So, you forgive me?”
“Look, I’m not going to pretend that I’m happy you lied to me for all these years, but I know you did it because you had my best interest at heart. As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead to me. I have the best mother and father right in front of me.”
With those words, his mother let out a cry and threw her arms around him. He pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her waist. Together, they walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.
“I’ll make us some coffee,” Hunter said, getting up and heading into the kitchen again.
Judith looked at her son as he prepared the coffee. Sometimes love just isn’t enough; it’s just what people want you to believe. They want you to believe that if you love someone, you can work through it. While things weren’t like that for her and the man she’d once called her husband, with Hunter, he was every bit the young man she’d raised him to be, and it was because of that love they had what they had.
“Before we talk, can you promise me something?” Hunter asked, placing her mug on the coffee table in front of her.
“Of course.”
“Can you promise me that you�
�ll never keep anything like this from me, ever again? That’s all I want.”
“If that’s what you want,” she replied.
“It is,” Hunter told her.
“Then I promise,” she assured him.
Hunter believed her. He knew she hated this tension between them as much as he did, and there was no way in hell he was going to let Bradley get in the way of his relationship with his mother. He sighed before taking a sip of his coffee. “Mom, I … well, I, uh, don’t exactly know how to put this, I’m still a little confused about it myself.”
Judith twisted in her seat so she was facing Hunter. “You’re having unexplained feelings toward Andy,” she said.
Hunter’s eyes widened and he almost choked on the coffee in his mouth.
“You … you know about that?”
“Hunter, I’m your mother, and let’s not forget who’s been the one pushing you and Andy to get together,” she finished.
She made a very valid point and he was totally blown away by how upfront and honest she was.
“But I can’t explain these feelings, Mom. I mean, for one thing, I’m straight, well, at least I thought … I don’t know. See what I mean? This is so confusing. Not to mention, every time I look at him, I get butterflies in my stomach, but at the same time, there are constant reminders of Bree that still sting so bad.”
His mother continued to look at him, and as she reached out a comforting hand, Hunter wondered if he was saying too much, or if what he was saying made any sense.
“Sweetheart, you can’t control how you feel. And just because you have these unexplained feelings for another person, doesn’t mean you don’t love Bree any less than you did when she was alive. Andy’s been in our lives for a long time. I see how the two of you are together, and, well, you don’t need to be Einstein to figure out that he’s crazy about you. I’ve noticed it for some time now but never said anything. Love is a delicate thing that no one really understands; it changes people, and it changes their lives, and the directions they take. Maybe what you feel toward Andy needs to be explored before you truly know if it’s what you want.”