by Harlow Layne
“Stop looking at me like that,” he demanded with a low growl.
“Like what?” I intended my question to sound confident and strong, but I just sounded like a breathless girl. I wanted to roll my eyes at myself. Get it the fuck together. Don’t let him see what he does to you.
“Like you want to lick every inch of my body.”
That would be difficult because I did want to lick and touch him even though he treated me like shit.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Guilt and shame blanketed my insides. I felt like I was going to puke. No one was worth my pride, and yet, I would have given it up in a heartbeat only a few moments ago.
We stood staring at each other for a long moment. I didn’t know what was going through his head, but mine was a myriad of thoughts and emotions. I couldn’t settle on one thing. Finally, my mind stopped racing, and one thought kept coming to the forefront.
I bit my lip, knowing I shouldn’t ask after his blow-up only a few moments ago, but I couldn’t help the words that slipped out of my mouth. “Can I ask you a question?”
Fin let out a frustrated sigh. “Why do I have a feeling this question you want to ask me is going to piss me off?”
Probably because it was.
“You’ve mentioned girls about a dozen times since you’ve been here, and I saw you with whoever she was… are you bi?”
In an instant, Fin’s face turned to stone. “I’m a heterosexual male who loves to fuck girls.”
He sneered at the word girls with so much disgust, it was easy to see right through his facade. It was fine if Fin wasn’t ready to admit to himself that he liked guys. Hopefully, he’d find someone else to take out his confusion and frustration on. I couldn’t be his punching bag to help work through his issues.
Even as I thought those words, I hated myself for wishing him on some poor unsuspecting soul. No one deserved to be treated that way, not even me.
A loud knock on the door startled us from our stare-off. “Fin, let’s go,” Oz yelled from the other side of the door.
“Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone, or I will kill you,” Fin seethed before he took two long strides to the door and picked up his bag and threw it over his shoulder. Without looking back, he was gone, and once again, I hoped I never saw him again.
6
West
July
Putting the last few things away in my room, I took a look around. I had my new but used laptop on my desk, a picture of my mom and brother sitting alongside it, and all my clothes hanging up in the closet or in my dresser. Everything was coming along nicely, and it was all mine. This was the first time in twelve years that I wasn’t sharing a room with anyone. Not that I didn’t love my little brother, Easton, because I did, but it was difficult to never have an alone moment in my own house. Especially during puberty.
I’d driven up earlier than everyone else that was supposed to show up to move into the football house since I was the RA. Did I want to be the RA? No, but I also didn’t want to put myself into thousands of dollars of debt each year while in college so I could live there either. Luckily, the coach had been understanding and made an exception for a freshman to be in charge of over twenty rowdy football players. One screw up, though, and I was out on my ass.
Tucking my bag into the back of my closet, I grabbed the packet of players who would be living with me and headed out into the living area to wait for the players to show up.
Willow Bay’s Blackhawk starting lineup for the football team had taken over a fraternity house set on the edge of campus. The four-story house was a little outdated but still nicer than any place I’d ever lived or stayed. There was a big kitchen, which I had a feeling would rarely be used for cooking, that held two refrigerators for all our food. It was a request from the new coach, who was making each person meet with the school’s nutritionist tomorrow. He was big on nutrition and making sure we ate well, got at least eight hours of sleep each night, and worked out every day of the week except on Sundays. I had a feeling he was going to be riding the asses of many of the players, myself included, if I didn’t keep them in line.
Two guys laden with boxes pushed through the front door and dropped them at my feet. A dark-haired one wearing his baseball hat backward grinned at me as he pulled out his wallet and handed me his identification card.
“Hey man, I’m Ford.” He held out his hand.
Sticking out my own hand, I shook his as I introduced myself. The other guy he came in with stayed off to the side, so I guessed he wouldn’t be living with us. “Let me look up your room number, have you sign in, and then you’ll be all set.”
“Cool,” he answered as he put his ID back in his wallet.
Opening up the packet, I scanned through the names to find Ford’s name, but my eyes locked on a name I never expected to see again. How the hell was Fin Huntington at Willow Bay University? What’s more, how was he going to be living in the same house as me? Now, what I thought was going to finally be my sanctuary, was going to be my hell.
“Are you okay?” Ford asked.
Looking up, I was surprised to see he’d dipped down and was looking at me with a frown marring his scruffy face. Taking a step back, I cleared my throat and tried to smile. “I’m fine. I just saw…” Why was I telling him? Fin would be here, and this guy could easily tell him of my reaction to seeing his name. “Let’s find your room number, shall we?”
He stood tall and gave me a chin nod.
I went back to scanning for his name. I purposely started at the bottom so I wouldn’t see Fin’s name again. Maybe Fin had found out where I was going to school and wanted to play some sort of sick joke on me as a welcome gag? As much as I hoped it was a game he was playing on me, I knew he’d walk through that door at some point today, and I needed to be prepared. Willow Bay was a new start, and I wasn’t going to let Fin make me the outcast.
Several hours later, after everyone had checked in, unpacked, and went out to get a bite to eat, Fin and Oz walked into the house laughing.
Yeah, I was lucky enough to not only get one but two people from Santa Lucia. Not only were they from my hometown, but one was also my tormentor.
The smile died right off Fin’s face when he saw me standing at the opening to the kitchen with a slice of pizza hovering at my mouth. Setting it down on the paper plate to my left, I wiped my hands off on a paper towel and walked over to where they stood. Picking up the check-in sheet, I looked at their names, pretending like I didn’t know what their room numbers were. I knew them by heart after staring at them for hours as I waited for them to show up, and how far away Fin’s room was from mine. Fin and I had two of the four rooms on the top floor, and Oz was on the third floor below us. I’d thought about changing out my room for Oz’s, but the room I was in was designated to the RA, and I couldn’t change it just because I was afraid of what Fin would do to me.
“I need you to sign-in, and then you can put your things in your rooms,” I said, meeting their eyes once again.
“Sure, yeah,” Oz set his bag down on the ground and adjusted his backpack. “It’s pretty crazy we’re all at the same school, huh? What are the odds of that?”
“Of you two going to the same school? Pretty good since you’re best friends. Of all of us going to a school three hours away from our hometown with one of the best college football teams in the nation? Fuck if I know.”
Oz cracked up, slapping a hand on his leg. “Who knew you were so funny?”
“Not me,” Fin sneered.
I paid no attention to his asshole comment. Instead, I ran my finger down the line of residents until I reached Oz’s name. “You’re in room three-twenty. The door is open, and your key should be on your desk.”
He looked up the stairs and nodded with a lazy smile. “Cool, cardio every day.”
Was he planning to run up and down them every day? Oh my god, what if they all decided to? The thought of dozens of feet pounding the wood stairs nearly had me pullin
g my hair out. I’d have to point out the small workout room we had in the hopes he would use it and remind him of the state-of-the-art gym that was open twenty-four-seven at the stadium.
Oz was still looking up the stairs when he asked, “What room are you in?”
I thought he was asking me, but when I looked up, Oz was looking at Fin with a strange look on his face.
“Oh, um, Fin’s in room four-oh-one. It’s on the top floor, on the left. Make sure you both sign in the space by your name.”
Oz signed and moved the strap of his backpack higher up on his shoulder while his friend scribbled his name down with barely a glance at me.
“If you need any help getting your stuff in, let me know. I’ll either be down here or up in my room.” I paused, not wanting to tell them where my room was, but it wasn’t like I could hide where it was for the rest of the year, so I went ahead and told them. “I’m on the top floor, last room on the right. I’ll have my door open until I go to bed.”
“We don’t need your fucking help.” Fin slammed the pen he was using down on the table. He stood up to his full height and glared at me.
If it had been anyone else but Fin, I would have wondered what I’d done to offend them, but I knew it had nothing to do with me. Fin’s attitude toward me and everyone else around him was all on him. I didn’t think he discriminated when it came to being an asshole. The only one he seemed to be even remotely nice to was Oz.
Maybe now that we were all living together, I needed to have a chat with Oz because I couldn’t and wouldn’t hide from Fin in my own house.
“I think we’ve got it, but thanks,” Oz said, looking back and forth between Fin and me.
Placing the paper back in the packet to file away, I was shocked when I only heard one set of footsteps head up the stairs.
Glancing up, I couldn’t keep my eyes off Fin. I couldn’t compel myself to stop my gaze from roving over his body. Fin stood before me, stiff as a board, but it didn’t distract from his tall frame. The way the muscles in his forearm twitched. All of it brought me back to thinking about how it felt when he put his hands on me, his lips on mine, and the way his grip on my cock made me burn hotter for him than anyone before.
“Stop fucking looking at me like that,” Fin growled before his hands crashed into my chest, making me stumble back. His feet pounded up the stairs, and with each step, it felt like a slap to my face.
How the hell was I going to live like this for the next ten months?
7
Fin
It took everything in me to not move the dresser in front of my door and barricade myself in my new room. Seriously, what were the odds of West fucking Jackson being at my school and on the football team?
The way his eyes moved over my body had my dick twitching in my pants right in front of Oz. Before, when Oz had asked me why I was an extra asshole to West, I told him to drop it, and he did. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be so lucky now.
Throwing myself on my bed, I stared up at the white popcorn ceiling. With every move I made, the bed squeaked. I was going to need to get some WD-40 or buy a new bed altogether. This one was a little too lumpy for me. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep well on this piece of shit mattress.
My phone pinged from the nightstand. I thought it was Oz telling me he was done unpacking when I hadn’t even touched a box. Imagine my shock when it was my mother texting me to see if I had made it onto campus safely. She’d given me a stiff pat on the back when I left this morning with all my worldly possessions packed and nestled inside my Range Rover with the intention of never coming back. My dad was nowhere in sight, not that I was expecting much from him, but I thought I might receive a goodbye. I wondered how long it would take for them to realize I wasn’t coming back.
I typed out a quick message to my mother, letting her know that I made it to Willow Bay. Setting my phone back down, I felt restless. I knew I should unpack since the coach was having us meet up with a nutritionist tomorrow. Afterward, he was going to give us a tour of the facilities, and then we’d have our first workout. On Monday, we’d start practicing in the mornings since it was blazing hot during the day and then workout in the gym in the afternoon or evenings. My time was going to be occupied after today, but I still couldn’t motivate myself to make my room habitable.
A sharp knock on my door had me sitting upright. Was it West? Did I want it to be him? I didn’t know the answer to that. I’d had so many conflicted feelings since I left the mountain back in January. All I knew was that I didn’t understand the strange attraction I had to West, and I hated the way he made me feel.
Oz opened the door a crack and peeked inside. “I wasn’t sure if I should open the door or not when you didn’t answer. Is everything okay?”
He’d asked me that a lot over the past few months, and I always gave him the same answer. “I’m fine. I guess I was lost in thought thinking about all the unpacking I need to do.” I hated lying to him. Oz was the only person who ever made me feel guilty, but he was my best friend, and up until this year, I’d always told him the truth. Now I wasn’t sure how he’d react to my secret. Would he accept me or call me a freak? I wasn’t sure if I could accept myself, so how could he?
“If you need help, all you have to do is ask. I want to say I can’t believe your parents didn’t notice you literally packing everything up, but it’s not a surprise.”
I shook my head, looked up at the popcorn ceiling, and stared at nothing. The nothingness mirrored how I felt about my parents not giving a shit about me. “It will probably take them until at least spring to realize they haven’t seen me in months, if not longer. Anyway, it’s not like I took the furniture. It’s only clothes, a lamp, and my stereo system. It might have been different if we weren’t living in the football dorm. I probably would have got a place for us to stay, but there was no way I wanted to get on the coach’s bad side right away.”
“Our own house would have been epic, but I have a feeling there will be plenty of parties here at the football house.” Oz’s eyes gleamed with excitement from the doorway. “Our goodie two shoes of a RA better not shut everything down, or we’ll have to kick his ass.”
“Fin,” Oz warned as he leaned against the door frame. “We’re not in Santa Lucia anymore, and your name won’t keep you out of trouble here, so try not to cause too much suffering to the population of Willow Bay.”
“We’ll see.” I sat up and leaned back on my elbows. “Are you done unpacking?”
“I’m not going to put all your shit away while you lie on your bed and treat me like a servant.” Oz laughed as he finally stepped inside the room.
“No, asshole, I wasn’t going to ask you to put my shit away. I’m getting hungry and thought we could go find someplace to eat. Maybe grab some beers.”
“Already wanting to go against Coach’s orders,” he smiled, shaking his head. “I’m down to get food. Do you want to walk or drive?”
Jumping up from the bed, I slipped my tennis shoes on and grabbed my phone and wallet from the bedside table. “Let’s walk. I don’t want to get back in the car again so soon after driving up here.”
“Let me go grab my wallet, and I’ll meet you downstairs.” Oz was gone before I could blink. He was always hungry and never turned down a chance to eat.
The drive seemed way longer than three hours. Probably because Oz had to stop twice to go to the bathroom and buy more coffee. He’d been up almost all night with a teary Danica as they parted ways. She was going to school at UCLA along with her friend Lo, and it was the first time they’d been away from each other for longer than a week in their entire lives.
Tears were streaming down Danica’s face as we pulled away after helping her and Lo put all their stuff in Danica’s car for their drive. I even let her hug me goodbye. Secretly it felt nice to have someone show some real emotion over me leaving, even if it mostly was because she was separating from her twin.
As I waited for Oz to show up, I finally took in my
surroundings. I couldn’t look at anything else but West when we first walked in. I think I was in shock. The place still had a fraternity vibe going on, but that was cool. The living room, kitchen, and dining room downstairs were large. Everything was worn, but that was to be expected when twenty to thirty guys lived in one space for any amount of time.
It made me think of the tiny shack of a place West was living in at Lake Arrowhead. What did he think of our house? And why did I care?
My ears perked up as I heard talking coming from deeper on the first floor. I moved closer to hear what was being said. I was a nosy son-of-a-bitch, and it usually paid off. I’d overheard so many juicy conversations in the past and used them to my advantage that I couldn’t help myself as I inched closer.
“Come on now, E.” West’s voice drifted through the kitchen. “I know. I miss you too.” The thing was, West did sound like he missed whoever this E was. His voice held a sad note in it. Maybe this E was his boyfriend?
My body started to heat and not in a good way as I fisted my hands at my sides. Who gave a shit if West had a boyfriend?
“Fin,” Oz called out from somewhere behind me. “Are you ready to go?”
Backing out of the kitchen, I tried to listen further to West’s conversation, but he must have heard Oz yell because it was deathly silent. I found Oz pacing by the front door with his phone in hand, typing away furiously.
Clasping him on the shoulder, I tried to look at his screen, but he moved out from under my hand. “What’s up?”
“Danica and Lo got a flat tire on the way and are waiting for someone to come and change it. Well, Lo doesn’t want to wait. She’s trying it on her own, but from what Danica is saying, Lo isn’t being successful,” he clipped out.