As she hesitated, Tannis took another step backward, then turned and sprinted down the nearest side street, her blood dripping on the cobblestones as she ran.
Once she was gone, Aina locked eyes with Teo, and then with Ryuu, who was breathing heavily as if he’d been in the fight himself. People on both sides of the street skirted around her too. The smell of the blood dripping from her arm, sharp and coppery, heightened with the end of the fight. The sunlight brightened, seeming to expose her even as she stepped into the shadows.
“Let’s get out of here,” she told Teo and Ryuu, her voice not sounding like her own. “She’ll try again, but I can’t kill her, or Kohl will come after me. I have to—”
“Stop being afraid of him!” Teo’s large hand fastened above her elbow. Only then did she realize her whole body was trembling. “Can’t he at least control his own people from coming after you? That’s the least he owes you. Show him he can’t throw you out like you’re nothing, Aina. Show him he’s wrong!”
But she was already shaking her head so hard, black strands of hair fell out of her ponytail and waved in front of her eyes. Something broke inside her. She no longer cared if anyone, even Ryuu, thought she was weak right now.
“What if he’s not wrong?” Her voice cracked as she tried to wipe the blood off her arm.
Kohl had taken her in from the streets. Kohl had helped her keep her mind off glue with endless training. Kohl had made her the best Blade in Kosín. Kohl had become her idol and her obsession. Kohl had given her their best job yet and promised her all she’d wanted. She owed him.
Kohl had hit her. Kohl had shot at her. Kohl had left her to the mercy of the city. She still owed him.
She had to kill Kouta before Tannis did. Otherwise, she’d never regain her position and respect. All of this would only stop once Kouta’s heart stopped beating, and by her blade alone.
Looking away from them so they couldn’t read the thousands of emotions she was going through, she said, “Let’s go meet Raurie’s aunt.”
As they pushed through the crowd, Aina wished she were alone. The rooftop would be safer, her favorite hiding spot, the only place that was always there for her. As quickly as she’d regained her confidence last night, it left her now.
The image of Tannis’s vicious golden gaze burned through her mind. Her chance at any kind of future had fallen out of her grasp like water cupped in a skeleton’s hands.
One hand trailed to the bloodstained scarf she wore and tugged impulsively at the loose strands. She should just buy glue from the nearest dealer and drown herself in it. Then she wouldn’t have to think. She couldn’t fear life on the streets if she were too high to even realize which street she was lying down on. She couldn’t feel Kohl’s bullet slamming through her brain if she was too numbed from glue to feel anything.
A warm hand touched her back, and for once, she didn’t feel the need to punch whoever had done it. Glancing to the left, she saw Ryuu gazing at her with concern that was nearly palpable. Focusing on his face only, Aina’s nerves eased.
She couldn’t understand him. He hardly knew her other than the fact that she’d tried to kill his brother, and she’d given him no reason to trust her other than her word. She’d just shown so much weakness, yet for some reason, he was comforting her instead of taking advantage.
Such merciful people stood no chance in Kosín. The thought made her want to protect him. Yet he knew her name, her profession, and the details of her crimes. Especially now, without Kohl’s protection, Ryuu could easily have her arrested. She still had to kill him and his brother to protect herself.
Aina didn’t like to use guns. Aside from how they reminded her of her parents, they were too cowardly, too impersonal, too distanced from the one you were murdering. But to kill Ryuu, she might need a gun.
20
They soon reached the southernmost edge of the Stacks. A strong stench of refuse carried toward them from the old ports and crumbling ferry buildings lining the edge of the river. The docks here weren’t used for trading anymore, as that had moved farther north along the western riverfront, but the barges carrying bodies to be buried south in mass graves near old diamond mines still docked here at night. Some of the scent still clung to the air in the daytime.
Aina’s nerves settled, and her fear of Tannis coming after her slowly turned to anger at herself. Maybe it had been smart to let her go and avoid Kohl’s wrath, or maybe it had been stupid. She’d hesitated once when she’d failed to kill Ryuu at his mansion, and now again with failing to kill Tannis. Tannis would only come after her again, and more confidently now that she knew Aina would hesitate before killing her—something Kohl had taught her to never do.
While they walked, Ryuu asked, “I know you had to defend yourself back there, but did you really think she would kill you? I mean, you used to work together, right?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Considering she tried to slice through my neck, I think it’s safe to say she wanted to kill me. Now that I think about it, maybe I want to kill her too. She never once called me by my name, always ‘street child’ or something. And she always took the poisons I brewed without even asking. I should have tried to get rid of her earlier.”
The words felt traitorous even as she spoke them, traitorous to the only home and family she’d really known. Besides, she’d liked Tannis and had considered her a friend even if they didn’t always get along. But now Tannis was the one trying to take her job from her and kill her in the process.
Ryuu’s previous look of concern turned to mild disgust. “You’re a very brutal person, did you know that?”
“To you, maybe. I think I’m rather calm and gentle.” Teo laughed aloud at that. “Shut up, Teo, you’re not in this conversation.”
As they walked the muddy streets, Aina had to give Ryuu some credit. He didn’t glance around with wide eyes like yesterday, and he kept his gaze forward. But he still had that strolling gait rich people used to show they could buy the entire street they walked upon. Nascent confidence was in every casual footstep, every movement that showed how pitifully unaware he was of his surroundings.
“Come.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and steered him away from a gang of heavily tattooed men who would cut his eyes out and sell them to the nearest buyer if he looked too closely. “Walk at my pace. And get your damn hands out of your pockets unless you happen to have a knife or gun in them.”
After another block, Ryuu leaned toward her and said in a low voice, “The mere fact that you have to come up with reasons to kill her means you value human life in some way. Admit it.”
“You’ve known me for a few days, and you already think you know me well enough to judge whether I’m a good person or not,” she said, shaking her head. “Do you still have some childish fantasy that everyone is inherently good and just needs a fair chance? Or are you trying to make me into a decent person, so that you can take credit for saving me?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it and sighed as if to say she was hopeless.
The next few minutes passed in silence, but then, there came that feeling when someone was watching her, their eyes burning into her back so she knew exactly where they were and could defend herself. But over time, she’d felt a certain pair of eyes more so than any other, and they’d developed a distinctive feel. These were Kohl’s eyes.
She turned, both hands going to dagger handles. After a quick scan of the rooftops, she found him about two hundred feet away. In the tower of the train station’s second floor, where they’d spent more hours together than she could count, he stood partially hidden behind a pillar. His eyes fixed directly on her, as if he’d been watching her progress throughout the city and could draw a map of her footsteps. Had he watched her fight with Tannis? Would he have stepped in to stop it if either of them had tried to deal a fatal blow?
Even from far away, he could find her easily and predict her next moves. She wondered if he knew she was going to see an Inosen, if he would tell Tannis. But
he wasn’t the only one who knew things.
In their years working together, he’d trusted her with far more of his past than he’d told most people. Apart from his crimes, his tactics, his secret passages throughout the city, she knew he couldn’t sleep at night and only closed his eyes at dawn; she knew he took his coffee black with one spoon of sugar like an old Milano man; she knew he was paranoid about being poisoned and so had made himself immune to most, drinking or injecting them in small doses to become accustomed to them; and she knew that when they fought together, they were nearly unstoppable.
Shortly before she’d met Teo, Kohl had gathered her and Mirran to rob a ship of visiting Kaiyanis diplomats. Mirran, an excellent actress and Kaiyanis herself, had donned a servant’s uniform—after Aina had knocked out the unsuspecting servant with the hilt of her knife—and slipped onto the ship within minutes while the diplomats had gone to a dinner at the Tower.
As it was nearly winter, Aina’s breath came out in white puffs while she waited with Kohl behind the ship at the edge of the docks near Rose Court. A small getaway boat waited for them, bobbing in the black currents of the river.
But something had gone wrong. Kohl, apparently able to sense trouble before anyone else could see or hear it, was on his feet, two pistols drawn. Aina scrambled up next to him, the anticipation of a fight pushing away the winter chill.
Seconds later, the sound of light footsteps reached her ears, and Mirran leapt off the edge of the second floor of the boat. She rolled on the docks and came to her feet, but several Kaiyanis soldiers and four Diamond Guards protecting the ship were already running toward them. Aina swore. Kohl shook his head and sighed as if this were only a minor inconvenience.
“She’s a dirty thief!” yelled a Kaiyanis man from the deck of the ship, his shaking finger aimed at Mirran.
“Is he one of the diplomats?” Aina whispered. “They were all supposed to be at the Tower.”
“He stayed behind!” Mirran hissed. “He knew I wasn’t with them, so he started shouting for guards.”
Kohl said nothing. He stepped ahead of them and fired two clean shots into the Kaiyanis soldiers’ heads while their weapons were still only half drawn. Mirran leapt between the next two soldiers, dodging Kohl’s bullets, and struck at them with a dagger.
The Diamond Guards converged on Aina. She easily side-stepped Kohl’s next shot, which hit one of the guards, then swept her dagger across the throat of another. Whipping around, she plunged her blade into the stomach of the third guard.
Then, she heard a small gasp and spun around, her own breath clouding in front of her.
The fourth Diamond Guard had caught Mirran and held his diamond-edged dagger at her throat. Kohl took a step back and lifted his hands, looking like a child who’d been caught eating too many sweets while his mother wasn’t looking. Aina might have imagined it, but for the briefest second, his gaze flicked to her.
She was already moving. The guard had forgotten about her, probably assuming his colleagues had taken care of her. In seconds, she was behind him, and flung her blade into the base of his skull. With one final exhale, blood streaming out of the back of his neck, he fell to the ground and Mirran leapt free.
“Come on!” Mirran said, jumping into the moored boat while the Kaiyanis diplomat shouted for backup.
“Wait,” Aina whispered. She raced to the bodies of the guards, searched through their weapon holsters and sheaths, then followed Kohl and Mirran onto the boat with a wide grin on her face.
“So?” Kohl asked Mirran, as if this entire ordeal had been no more eventful than a walk to the market.
From her pockets, brassiere, and shoes, Mirran pulled out different jewels—opal necklaces, sapphire bracelets, emerald rings—and waved them around. The silver light of Isar’s moon caught on each of them and Kohl’s satisfied grin.
“Those will match my new toys,” Aina said, drawing the four diamond-edged knives she’d taken from the guards.
Kohl turned toward her, his sapphire-blue eyes hard and piercing. Her smile wavered a little. For a moment, she feared Kohl might reprimand her for taking weapons that would make it obvious who she’d stolen them from—these knives were the symbol of the Diamond Guards, and no regular street thug could afford them.
But then he’d nodded approvingly. “You’re turning into a good Blade, Aina. We fought well together.”
She’d nearly burst with pride and had to contain her smile the entire way back to the Dom.
They fought well together, and they knew each other better than most people knew them. She met his gaze in the train station’s tower for a moment longer. While she was leaving a fight against Tannis, bleeding, and trying to lay low as the whole city searched for her, Kohl stood out in the open and unafraid, as always.
Just like that, he was gone. He turned and disappeared, and the heat of his gaze simmered away. A chill crept up her spine in its absence. They weren’t so close anymore, now that she’d failed.
“What are you looking at?” Ryuu asked.
Instead of answering, she gestured toward Teo. They jogged in silence to catch up, then stopped outside of a wide, one-story home constructed of mud brick with a rusted metal sheet as the door.
As Teo knocked lightly, Aina’s eyes trailed to a boy lying on the ground nearby. He was young, no older than twelve. He lay on his back, eyes half-open, one hand holding a plastic bag to his nose and mouth. The other hand hung limp in the dirt. When the boy breathed in, Aina could almost smell the vapors herself. She knew how it felt, the sensation of letting go. The boy dropped the hand with the rag to the ground and stared at his own feet for a moment. Then he closed his eyes, chest rising and falling in such slow breaths that it was a surprise each time.
Her skin itched at the sight. Even years later, her mind unhinged and craved a simple sniff of that powerful glue, the one drug street children could attain in plenty. Lying on the street, clenching a bag filled with glue, watching the world spin as her breaths grew dim … the eyes of the people who passed her by, the dogs that sniffed at her … it had made her tired, confused, weak; it made her breaths come short and quick, threatening to rob her lungs of air. But it had also been a temporary euphoria that pulled her away from the body that sensed pain and loss and hunger. It also stole memories, so sometimes she couldn’t remember how she’d gotten wherever she was or what she’d been doing right before. It pilfered older memories too, until the images of her parents’ faces had faded to dull blurs, and her roughest nights on the streets felt like a story she’d heard rather than something she’d experienced herself.
No matter how hard she’d tried, inhaling glue over and over again, it never cleansed her mind of the sight of her parents’ dead bodies on the floor. But it could make her forget those images for a while and dull the emptiness in her stomach.
She’d known the risks. It could put her in a coma, cause her breaths to come so fast, her lungs would simply give up, or just kill her in one sudden, unlucky sniff. But she hadn’t cared and had inhaled it regularly for a few years until one day when she was eleven. She’d been scouring the banks of the Minos River for dropped kors and had stumbled upon a body.
The girl was Milana, like her, but in her teens. The dead girl had kept her dark brown hair like Aina’s mother had, in a short cut, waves brushing against her jaw. A plastic bag was stuck to the girl’s face. Suffocation often killed glue inhalers. With a shaking hand, Aina had reached out to pull the bag away and revealed the girl’s mouth and nose ringed with a rash that marked her addiction—they called it Kalaan’s Kiss. Aina’s hand had trailed to her own mouth, feeling the buds of the rash, picturing herself dead and forgotten on the riverbank.
After that, she’d pulled away from glue and nearly died from the withdrawal. Kohl had found her a year later, and the constant training kept her mind off glue most of the time. Becoming a Blade and working toward some kind of future kept her focused. Pushing herself in training, and later in her work, was a release.
&nb
sp; “Is he all right?” Ryuu’s voice climbed through her reverie.
“He’s fine,” Aina answered, hoping she was talking about herself as much as the boy on the side of the road. “Go inside.”
With a shrug, Ryuu left her there and entered the house. Once the door closed behind him, Aina walked to the boy and lifted the bag from his face. Paper bags were safer than plastic, but kids like him often either didn’t know that or didn’t care. Maybe he was trying to forget something, like she had. Part of her wished she could tell him that some memories were etched into you, and some wounds never healed. But she would never stop him from trying.
He was still breathing, so she stood to get back to her job. If she didn’t, Kohl would kill her, or worse, she might end up on the streets again with a plastic bag suffocating her. She turned and walked into the blood magic practitioner’s home.
21
Raurie’s aunt’s home was similar to Aina’s old one, but larger. Two wooden chairs and a table stood on the dirt floor, a straw mat was in the center of the room, and lit candles surrounded a small, gold-wire sculpture of the Mothers on their table.
In Aina’s old home, there had also been dirt floors, a few blankets and pieces of cardboard on the ground, spiders crawling in the corners, a makeshift stove, and little else. One image stood out: a small porcelain horse statue her mother had owned. It had sat behind the stove throughout Aina’s childhood. Its glimmer in the light of the flames on the stove still recalled itself clearly in her memory, even though it had all shattered when she was eight years old.
It struck her as odd that practicing magic had gotten her parents killed, and now she was about to use it to try to save herself.
“You made it!” Raurie approached from a back room, draping a purple shawl over her shoulders. She smiled as if they were here for a party rather than an illegal magic service. “My aunt is waiting for you. I have a shift at my uncle’s bar after this, but I wanted to be here to introduce you to June.”
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