by C. Lymari
Why was I letting him?
Never in my life had anyone protected me. I always expected the worst in humanity—in men.
We made it to a black bike. Gideon kneeled, and from under the motor, he pulled out the keys.
He straddled the bike and turned to me. “Hop on, love.”
I did as he asked and held on to him tighter than I had ever held on to anyone. He didn’t know that I had put my trust in him. He had no idea the horrors I had lived, and to me, this moment was monumental.
Gideon drove away from the city, and the building lights became a blur. My face pressed against his back, and my arms alternated between squeezing him tight and sending out a message. I had no idea what was going to happen, but for now, I was content.
As soon as it was safe, I needed to get in contact with Damian and Bas, but for now, I just held on to Gideon and hoped he didn’t let me fall.
We made it to a hotel in the suburbs. He made no mention of our previous arrangements, so I kept quiet.
“Wait here,” Gideon said while he went to go get us checked in. I nodded and waited by the motorcycle. As soon as Gideon went into the lobby, I broke the burner phone I had grabbed from White when I searched him. Knowing I didn’t have enough time, I typed in Bas’s number. As Gideon drove, I’d texted, “I’m k--D.” Easy enough to spell with one hand. The phone broke in two, and I threw it in the bushes with enough time to spare before Gideon came back.
He came from the side entrance. “Come on, Petal, let’s wash that blood off your body.” His voice was by my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
The soothing motion of his arms brought up sensations in me that I didn’t think possible. When he pressed a soft kiss behind my ear, my pussy throbbed, and the fact that I was bare seemed to scream at me.
I’d been deprived of human contact and emotions for far too long now, and my body was begging for affection. I wanted his affection, even if it was only temporary.
My head turned, and our gazes collided.
He sucked in a breath, and I bit my lip.
“Don’t tease me, Petal. We both know I’m not a good man.”
Something was seriously wrong with me, but one thing I did know was that life was not guaranteed, and the only thing I regretted was the missed chances I’d had.
“It’s safe to say I’m not a good woman either.”
He pressed his face closer to mine, our lips brushing against each other without kissing. “You want your pretty little pink cunt fucked?”
I raised on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m pretty sure we agreed that I was doing the fu—”
He kissed me, cutting off words I was sure I would regret saying once this was all over. His hands came to my waist, pressing me close enough that I could feel his hard-on.
“You’re fucking killing me,” he murmured.
I really hoped it didn’t come down to that.
We made it to the room with soft touches and kissing, the complete opposite of what had happened in the club. Even though that had been rough, near violent, it was all about me and my pleasure, and that was more than any man had ever given me.
As soon as we were inside, the air changed, charged with sexual tension. I turned around, and Gideon was already removing his shirt.
“You going to back off now, or are you going to jump on my dick?”
I walked back to the bed. Somehow everything I’d been taught on how to seduce a man seemed pointless at this moment. Gideon saw right through it—he saw through my façade, touching the surface of who I was.
“I’m in the mood for a quick ride,” I teased as I removed one button.
He took his shirt off, showing me all the tattoos on his chest. My fingers tingled, and I wanted to touch them all. I wanted to know everything about him, and not to exploit it just because they meant something to him. They were important.
“It’s going to be anything but quick.” He gave me a wicked glint.
In no time, he was standing naked before me. His hard dick was pointing right at me.
“See, my dick wants you,” he teased softly, but his eyes…fuck, they were so intense it felt like I was tipsy.
He lay on the bed. His hair was a little messy, and some blood was still on him, but God did I want him like I’d never wanted anyone in my life before.
Once he was by the headboard, he motioned for me.
“Hop on, Petal.” He tapped his lap. He was so carefree and playful I was at a loss. I removed my makeshift belt, holding the leash in my hand. I threw that on the bed, then took a deep breath and let the jacket fall to the floor.
With a shyness I didn’t know I possessed, I looked up at him. His chest was rising and falling, and those whiskey eyes penetrated me. I kneeled on the bed, crawling up his body, the leash in my hand.
I rose to my knees and swallowed because my throat felt dry as fuck. What I was going to say would cost me. I never really let anyone see more of me like my name; everything that made me up was guarded.
“I want to trust you, but I don’t know how, for I was not brought up like most kids. Everything I have has been taken from me. To the ones I’ve given myself freely was for their pleasure and not my own.” I straddled him without putting my weight on him. “Emotions are foreign to me, but you make me feel things I’ve never felt before.” His eyes darkened at my words. “So all I ask of you is that you don’t touch me.”
His jaw ticked. He didn’t like my request, and I held my breath to see what he would do next.
“Just this time,” he ground out.
Victory coursed through me. “Put your hands behind your head.” He did as I asked, and I grabbed the leash, binding his hands together.
I jumped when I felt a soft bite to my chest.
“You never said anything about my mouth, and don’t even think about asking it.” His tone was final.
Fuck. I was really going to do this?
“Are you wet for me, Petal?” he asked, looking at my body leisurely.
“Does it matter?”
His eyes flashed with anger. “Yeah, baby, it does.”
Baby.
The word made the pit of my stomach sink. Something so overused, probably said without meaning, but the way he said it and the way he looked at me while he said it had something in me going soft.
“Touch your pussy and tell me if you’re wet,” he demanded from his bound position.
Still above him, I trailed my hand down to my navel, aware that he was watching my every move.
I gasped as soon as I touched my sex. I was wet, and my clit was swollen.
“Let me taste you,” Gideon pleaded.
I brought my fingers out, leaned into him, and put them in his mouth. He lapped my fingers clean while keeping eye contact with me.
“You’re wet, Petal, but I want you soaked. Now be a good little slave and fuck my face.”
I looked at him and at myself, and for the first time in my life, I felt myself blush.
“Fuck me, Petal,” he murmured.
“I believe we are getting to that point.”
“Yeah.” He licked his lips. “After I lick your pussy.”
I climbed up his body, aware that I would do all the work since his hands were bound together. As soon as I brought my pussy down, he reached up and licked my folds.
“Spread your legs, Petal. Let me feast.”
The warmth returned to my cheeks as I did what he asked. His mouth was everywhere, sucking and licking.
My hips moved, grinding down against him, and Gideon growled his approval.
He tipped his head, rolled his tongue, and fucked me with it. He then brought it out and flattened it against my folds. His mouth opened and sucked my clit.
“G,” I moaned, my hips grinding furiously against his face.
“Fuck,” I screamed when he bit the inside of my thigh. There would be a mark I was sure.
He tipped his head back. His lips glistened, his chest rising and falling fas
t. It moved me.
“Fuck me now.”
The feeling between my legs intensified. I was so close. I needed this. I needed him.
I positioned myself right above him, but before I put him in my body, I bent and licked his lips, tasting my excitement.
“Petal, for the love of all that’s holy, just sit on my fucking dick.”
“As you please,” I teased, my smile spreading wide.
His breath and mine both caught as I put him in me. I was soaked, and he glided in with ease. He was big, and I was small; he made me feel so full. I wasn’t a virgin—I’d been fucking for years—but no one else mattered except him in this moment.
I put my hands on his chest, my hips rolling slowly, enjoying the sensation of him.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous with my dick inside you.”
“Mmmm,” I moaned as I kissed the tattoos on his chest.
Gideon spread his legs and bent them, then thrust his hips at the same time I rolled mine. My eyes fluttered back at the feeling against my pelvis.
“Gideon,” I shrieked as I moved faster.
He said something I couldn’t comprehend. I put my weight on his chest as I fucked him harder, trying to find my release. I was so close but not there yet.
“Fuck this shit,” he groaned before he lost control.
In this job, you had to master control to keep a level head, but that had always been my problem. I was reckless, and I liked living my life that way. What was life without breaking a few rules?
I was ready to break all of them for one tiny woman. I’d never seen anyone more breathtaking riding my dick.
Daphne’s hips moved against my thrusts, trying to find her release to no avail.
Her makeshift bind was off, but she was so lost in trying to find her pleasure she hadn’t noticed.
When she pulled off only to slam back down on me, I fucking lost it. I pulled up, twisted my body, and rolled her under me.
“You’re driving me fucking crazy,” I confessed as I slammed into her. Her legs wrapped around my hips, meeting me thrust for thrust as her nails scratched the shit out of my back.
That’s it, baby, mark me.
“I think I’m close.” She let out a throaty moan.
Her pussy was trying to suffocate my dick.
I pulled all the way out and then back in at the same time I put my hands on either side of her neck with the leash, cutting off her air supply.
Her nails pierced my skin, making my back burn. Her head thrashed back, her eyes on me as she started to convulse, the sensation taking me with her.
I rose above her and just watched her. Her face looked so content at this moment, her eyes closed as she gathered her wits. She tried to open her mouth but closed it.
It did something to my ego that’s for sure. Our bodies were sweaty and covered in blood. I didn’t know what that said about us, but I wouldn’t change it. I’d stopped making apologies for my behavior a long time ago.
“I never knew sex could be like that. For all my lessons, this feeling was never described.”
Her voice was soft, but her words were heavy.
“Was Yorovich your first?” I asked. I wasn’t jealous of the men who came before me; none of them would matter. They were all arseholes who took from her, but she had only given to one man, and that made me feel like I was ten feet tall.
Daphne pulled away from me. “No. He wasn’t even the third.”
With those words, she got up and closed the bathroom door. I didn’t know where we went from here. I had to get answers and return back home soon.
I got up and changed and told her I would be back. I was going to get some food and clothes for her.
It was one of the main reasons I wanted her out of the city. I wanted Daphne to feel trapped so she had no choice but to stay with me.
When I came outside, I pulled out the phone that was stashed on the bike.
“You created a mess, Gideon,” my superior said by way of greeting.
“Yeah, sorry,” I humored him. We both know I didn’t mean it. “No sign of Adrian. He either turned, or Yorovich killed him.” I kept my suspicions to myself.
“Well, then there’s nothing for you in America. Time to come back home.”
“Sure,” I told him, then hung up and made another call.
Even though I couldn’t trust Daphne, I wanted to bring her with me. I needed a fucking smoke so I could figure out a way to keep her with me. I’d found my breath of life, and I was selfish enough to want it by me at all times.
When I came back to the hotel, Daphne was sitting on the bed, wrapped in a towel as she stared at the wall absently. Her hair was wet but braided to the side. I’d never had a girlfriend nor a woman I wanted as my own. This life made anything you cared about a liability. Missions that were classified caused secrets, and that put one hell of a wedge in a relationship.
“I didn’t wear a condom,” I said as I walked in the room. It was the last thing on my mind; honestly, I didn’t really give a shit about that. I wanted her with nothing between us.
“Worry not. They made me incapable of becoming a mother after my first bleed.” She said it so blasé, like she was reciting the fucking weather, it pissed me off. I wanted to find the person responsible for this and bathe in their blood.
“How old.” I managed to control my voice enough so I could ask.
“I was almost twelve.” She pressed her knees to her chest and turned her head.
Making my way toward her, I gave her a bag with clothes I got from a Walmart. Nothing special, just jeans and a blouse.
“I was three when I saw my parents get murdered,” I confessed. Tit for tat seemed like the way to go. She bared her ugliness to me, and I was ready to bare some of my black soul to hers.
Not many could handle the burden of others—they were weak, but not her.
I sat across from her and felt when her gaze landed on me.
“That must’ve been hard. I’m sorry you went through that. It seems death has courted us since we were young.”
I turned to look at her. She was incredibly strong, yet there was something so fragile I didn’t know if I wanted to protect it or finish breaking it.
“Before they killed my mother, they raped her in front of me. All I remember is her crying and pleading for me not to watch.”
There wasn’t much that didn’t get to me, but I would never take a woman against her will. I felt like it would fuck with me.
“Did you get your revenge?” Her head was cocked. There was no judgment in her gray eyes. She didn’t think I was fucked-up, nor did she pity me. There was blind understanding that sometimes the world fucked you in the arse and all you could do was take it.
“I did.”
She grinned at me, and it made her eyes light up. “I am glad.”
She fascinated me. How she could look broken one second and have a demon lurk in her gaze the next.
“What will you do about Yoro?”
She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she reached for the clothes covering her body. It felt like she was closing a level of intimacy between us.
“Anyone who’s ever crossed me will pay.”
That’s what I was afraid of.
The next morning Daphne was already up by the time I woke up. She was sitting on the sofa staring out the window. I was up most of the night, and I watched her sleep, wondering what would happen at daybreak.
Most of the night, I fought with the urge to hold her since she made it clear she wouldn’t like that.
“Morning, Petal.” I smiled at her, wondering what I had to do to get between those creamy thighs without breaking out into World War Three. Then on second thought, WWIII sounded like a great idea.
She turned back and gave me half a smile. When she smiled at me yesterday, I told her never to do it again because I knew that was a rare sight, and I wanted all her smiles, all her orgasms just for myself. “Where do we go from here?”
I wasn’t ready for
this question, at least not yet. I had hoped we had a bit more time. I didn’t even know what more time would do if the outcome would be the same. We were playing different games; one of us was bound to get hurt.
My cell phone started beeping, and I knew I had to answer the call. I knew what needed to get done, but I chose to ignore it.
Instead, I walked up to Daphne and took her chin, and gave her a kiss. “You and me, baby, we can take over the world.”
Those words were treacherous, but I meant them.
“You’d do that for me?” Her voice was like silk.
I took a second to just stare at her and look at her profile. I wanted to commit her to memory.
I got up and looked out the window, and my stomach dropped as soon as I saw what she had been looking at all along. I turned to her, and she wasn’t even looking at me like I had disappointed her, and that made it that much worse.
People lied all the time. They told themselves it was for the greater good or for self-preservation. Everyone who lied had something to gain. I was raised amongst thieves, liars, and killers, so I was good at spotting them.
When I woke up this morning, I had been wrapped in Gideon’s arms. My head was resting on his chest, our feet entwined. It seemed so mundane and silly for me to keep letting him hold me. It went against everything I had been taught, yet it was the first time something in my life made sense. I stayed still for a moment listening to his heart thump, knowing that if I wanted to leave, he wouldn’t have been able to stop me.
I couldn’t do it.
The moment I came with him, we started a game, one I had no intention of leaving unfinished. Gideon wanted to own me, but monsters didn’t have masters.
I sat in the window when I spotted the SUV. At first, I didn’t think much of it when more cars started to surround the lot, but no one came out. I had been betrayed many times before, but it had never hurt as much as it did at this moment. Loyalty was earned and not bestowed. Secrets left a wedge big enough for a knife to stab.
When I asked him where did we go from the position we had gotten ourselves in, I had hoped he would come clean. That cool and icy demeanor I prided myself on was ready to come to shreds. I wanted to scream in his face, to demand to know why he lied to me, but I swallowed the pain and the hurt. What was one more lie? One more scar? What was pain when you’d been in a world of hurt since you could remember.