by Agatha Frost
“Max came up those cellar stairs,” Julia said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “He poured us champagne and then vanished like nothing was going on.”
“There’s clearly a lot we have yet to learn.”
It took hours for them to learn the truth. Julia and Barker hung around outside the room while doctors and nurses came and went. The police showed up more than once to get a statement from Leah but left disappointed when they saw she was still asleep.
Leah’s eyelids finally started fluttering at two in the afternoon, while Julia and Barker ate tuna and cucumber sandwiches bought from the hospital shop. Julia ditched her sandwich on the chair and quickly swallowed the food in her mouth.
“Doctor?” Julia called down the corridor. “Anyone? She’s waking up.”
Doctor Khan rounded the corner and ran towards them, quickly followed by two nurses. Julia and Barker stepped back and watched as Leah came around from her drug-induced sleep. When Leah looked through the window and locked eyes with Julia, both women began to cry.
It took twenty minutes for Doctor Khan to finish performing her tests on Leah. When she was done, she told Julia she could have five minutes with Leah, but no more because the patient was still very frail. Julia stood in the doorway and stared at Leah; it was like staring at a ghost.
“Welcome back,” Julia said.
“What day is it?” Leah croaked. “The doctor told me that you found me.”
“I wouldn’t have stopped until I did.” Julia rushed over to Leah’s side and pulled up a chair. She took Leah’s hand in hers. “It’s Saturday morning. You’ve been gone all week.”
“Is that all?” Leah’s face crinkled. “I feel like I was down there for weeks. He kept feeding me cold chicken soup with white bits floating in it. The doctor said I’ve been drugged with sleeping pills, but I already suspected as much.” Leah paused to cough, which rattled deep in her lungs. “It was so cold down there. Is the heatwave over?”
“No.” Julia rubbed Leah’s hand with her thumb. “It’s still hotter than hell out there.” She laughed before swallowing hard. “What happened to you, Leah? Brooke said she came to your house and killed you. She told me she buried you in a field.”
“That’s what she told me she was going to do.” Leah frowned. “She said it every chance she got. I started to wish she would just get it over with. I didn’t think I’d ever get out from there.”
“What happened the night she took you?”
“She didn’t.” Leah licked her dry, cracked lips. “Max took me. I was at my cottage with, uh, with—”
“I know about Johnny,” Julia said, squeezing her hand. “And Roxy. And everything else that happened before you left Peridale.”
Leah nodded, her eyes darting away from Julia. She seemed embarrassed.
“After Brooke attacked me at the shop, I walked around Peridale for hours,” Leah continued. “I decided I was going to go home, pack my things, and never come back. I felt like a fool for returning. I thought I’d moved on from my past, but nobody else had—not that I can blame them.” She paused and bit the edge of her lip. “I got home to pack up my car, but Johnny turned up. He was shouting and screaming, and I just broke down. One thing led to another, and we ended up in bed. I must have fallen asleep. I woke up to Roxy banging on the door. I tried to get rid of her. I didn’t want her to catch me with Johnny, so I brushed her off. She deserved an explanation, but I wasn’t in a place to give it to her. She left. I promised myself I’d talk to her the next day when things weren’t as crazy. I went into the kitchen to start making dinner. I was going to surprise Johnny with it.” She smiled. “Did you know I always had a crush on him growing up?”
“I didn’t.”
“Well, I did.” Leah laughed. “I fancied the pants off him, but then my life became crazy, and I used him like I used everyone else. I was a mess.”
“I’ve heard the stories.”
“I was a kid.” Leah sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. “I went through something no kid should ever have to.” She inhaled deeply. “I started making dinner, and then there was another knock at the door. I thought it was Roxy again. I answered it, and it was a tall man with his back to me. I asked him who he was, but he didn’t speak. When he turned around, he had a knife in his hands. I didn’t recognise him as the kid from the bridal shop at first. He lunged at me with the knife. I could see it in his eyes, he was going for the kill. He slashed open my hand, and then I tripped over the hallway carpet—that damn ugly carpet. I always told my mum I hated it. In that moment, I thought I was about to join her wherever she was so I could tell her to her face. I fell into the side table. I struggled against him, but he hit me with that awful lamp. I remember seeing the carpet before I hit the floor, and then I woke up in a car. My clothes were gone, and I was in a baggy white t-shirt. I realised it was the t-shirt he had been wearing. I thought I was driving to my death. I was in and out. I remember him carrying me, and then I was in the basement. I tried to escape, but I was woozy from the concussion. He dragged me back down there and chained me up to a pipe.”
Julia fought back her tears as she listened to Leah’s story, giving her friend an encouraging nod.
“He was sitting on a chair staring at me,” Leah continued. “I begged him to let me go. My hand was bleeding really bad. He wrapped it up with an old rag. He said he was going to kill me, but I could tell he couldn’t do it. He was just a kid. I told him I wouldn’t say anything if he let me go. I even offered him money, and he looked like he was considering it, but he kept snapping back to being angry at me. He kept repeating the same words over and over. ‘You ruined my life. You ruined my life.’ He kept blaming me for how distant his mother was with him. He told me it was my fault she never loved him. It was my fault that he had the upbringing he had. I ruined his family and took it from him before he was even born. He had so much rage, so much hurt.”
Leah paused and reached out for a cup of water on the side table. Julia helped her steady the cup against her lips so she could take a sip.
“Thank you.” Leah dabbed at her wet lips. “We were down there for hours, and then he disappeared. I thought I was going to freeze to death. The stone was so cold. I don’t know how many hours it was before he came back. I had no way of knowing if it was night or day. When he returned, he had the soup. I ate it because I was hungry, and then I fell asleep. I thought I was just exhausted. It took me a couple of rounds with the soup to realise what was going on.”
“And Brooke?”
“She didn’t turn up until later. I think she found me by accident. She screamed and asked what I was doing there. Max ran in and dragged her out. He must have explained what he’d done because when she came back, she had a smile on her face. It’s the smile you have when you catch a fly you’ve been chasing around your house for hours. She showed me a missing poster, and she promised that no one would find me. That’s when she started telling me that she was going to kill me. Max seemed crazy, but Brooke was completely unhinged. She kept talking over every detail of her dad’s trial. She wouldn’t listen to me.
“They took it in turns to watch over me. I started to crave the cold soup because it meant I would be able to get away from them staring. I was always disappointed when I woke up. I just wanted to be up there with my mum. I felt like Max wanted to put an end to things, but Brooke was enjoying it. The last thing I remember before waking up in here was them both down in the cellar with me. We all heard a bang, and then she went upstairs. We listened for what felt like a lifetime. We heard another bang, and that’s when Max lost it. He told me he was going to take me away and ‘end things.’ He didn’t even try to hide the sleeping pills that time. He crushed up half a packet into the soup and forced it down my throat. And then I woke up in here.”
Julia couldn’t summon any words. She couldn’t imagine a person going through such a horrific ordeal and living to tell the tale. Her mind was swimming with questions, but one stuck out, blaring like a siren.
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“Why?” Julia asked. “Why did you lie about Brooke’s father?”
“Lie?” Leah scrunched up her face and pulled her hand away. “You think I lied too?”
“But the trial, and—”
“Who were they going to believe?” Leah interrupted, anger in her voice. “A sixteen-year-old girl, or a well-loved teacher with more charisma than you could shake a stick at? Even my own mother didn’t believe me. I wish I’d never told anyone what he did to me, but I didn’t know what else to do. It didn’t even cross my mind that people would think I was lying. I was the perfect student. What would I gain from lying?”
Leah paused as if waiting for Julia to answer. Though Julia had asked herself the same question more than once, she hadn’t been able to come up with an answer. She shrugged helplessly.
“I loved his drama classes,” Leah said. “It was my favourite subject, and he was my favourite teacher. It was the one place in school where I didn’t have to be perfect. I could let go and express myself. When he asked me to stay behind and help photocopy scripts, I jumped at the chance. I stayed behind every Friday. I didn’t realise it at first, but he was grooming me. He started buying me things. Little things at first. A chocolate bar here, and a can of pop there, but then it turned into perfume and make-up. I just thought he was being nice to me. I was always naïve, but he should have known better. It was just before the Christmas break when he tried to kiss me. I freaked out and ran. I bumped into Mrs Samson from the science department, and I told her. She believed me instantly and took me to the headmaster’s office, but he was less supportive. He asked if I was sure. Can you believe that? It was a different time back then, but it’s not an excuse. If I’d said it today, people might have believed me. Things are different now, but I wasn’t so lucky back then. Regardless, he called the police, and they treated me a little better, though but I was held at arm’s length like I was suspected of something.”
Doctor Khan appeared in the doorway, but Julia held up five fingers and shook her head. The doctor understood that she needed longer and bowed out of the room.
“Go on,” Julia urged. “What happened next?”
“Gary told them I’d tried to kiss him and that I was upset that he rejected me,” Leah continued. “It made sense. I couldn’t prove all the things he’d bought me. I felt completely alone. Then the trial happened, and he was found not guilty. I couldn’t believe it. I’d exposed myself and told the truth, and a bunch of adults told me I was a manipulative liar. You knew me back then, Julia. I was anything but. I was just a girl.”
“I know.” Julia squeezed her hand.
“My life spiralled out of control after that. My mother tried to make me forget things. She took me on holiday and acted like it would fix everything. She couldn’t understand why it didn’t work when we got back to Peridale. ‘Stop being a silly little girl, Leah’, she’d say. I stopped protesting. The entire world didn’t believe me, and I knew they never would, so I crashed and burned. I became a self-fulfilling prophecy. They called me a manipulative liar, and I became one. It all exploded at Roxy’s birthday party. She told me she was gay, and—I’m guessing you know what I did to her?”
Julia nodded.
“I have no idea why.” Leah blinked, and tears formed on her lashes. “Having that power over her gave me a rush. I knew it was wrong, but it made me feel like I was in control of something for once. After the trial, it was like I had someone deep within, scratching to get out. She came out that night. The bitter, evil version of Leah that I became was born then. I didn’t notice the shift at the time, but after years of expensive therapy, it all goes back to that night.
“And it wasn’t just Roxy, it was Johnny too. He was so sweet, and I used him. Before Mr Williams tried to kiss me, I was summoning the courage to ask Johnny out, but I was so shy. The new version of me wasn’t shy. I jumped straight to the end result, and then I ignored him until I left Peridale. I didn’t want him to get sucked into my vortex. I wish I’d done the same with Roxy, but we were feeding off each other’s energies. I was draining her. I hated myself, but I couldn’t stop the self-sabotage. I felt like I was driving down a hill in a speeding car and the brakes had been cut. I didn’t fully crash until I met Craig.
“We both wanted an escape, so we took it. I never meant to ruin a wedding, but, at the time, I honestly didn’t care. We ran away, and for the first time in years, I felt needed and loved. We only had each other to depend on. It was nice, for a time. I thought I was on the right path, but that bitterness didn’t go away. I ruined our marriage like I ruined everything else, and I ran again. I started a new life, and I remarried, but it ended just as badly. I remember being twenty-nine, sitting on a park bench with all my possessions in a single, black bag. It was near Christmas, and it was raining. I was drinking straight from a bottle of wine. I must have looked a state. A man walked past and tossed a pound coin at my feet. I felt so pathetic that I started laughing uncontrollably.”
“You could have come home,” Julia urged. “You could have come to me.”
“You wouldn’t have wanted me then.” Leah smiled. “I was ready to change my life, but I wasn’t there. I started to sort my life out the next day. I moved to York, and I found myself a flat. I got a job as a wedding planner’s assistant. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but it was the only job that got back to me after over thirty interviews. It turned out I was quite good at it, and the money was decent. Enough to pay for the best therapists. I realised I had serious issues, and I needed to sort them out. It took months for me to find the right person, but when I did, I let her dig deep to my core and unpick me. She reminded me about who I was before I became that person. I could never be that naïve girl again, but I didn’t have to keep self-destructing for the rest of my life.
“I started my own wedding planning business. Having that focus saved me. I kept up with the therapy for years until I had another epiphany. I was in a supermarket buying dinner for one, and a voice dropped into my head and said ‘Leah, it’s okay to forgive yourself.’ I had never stopped beating myself up about what I had done to others. I thought about reaching out so many times, but I honestly thought people would have moved on. I didn’t come back to Peridale to stir things up again. I thought people would have figured things out for themselves after the letter.”
“What letter?”
“Gary’s suicide note.” Leah inhaled deeply before looking up to the ceiling. “Gary visited my mother on the day he killed himself and gave her a letter to pass to me. I’d already moved away, and I wasn’t speaking to Mum at the time. She was so ashamed of me for running off with Craig. I didn’t find out about the note until she got sick this year.”
“What did it say?”
“It was an apology.” A tear ran down Leah’s cheek. “And a confession. He admitted what he had done to me, and he apologised. That’s all I ever wanted. I didn’t want the man to die.” Leah wiped away the tear with a shaky hand. “Mum kept the letter all those years. She didn’t want to disrupt my life. She thought me moving away was a sign I’d mentally moved on. It would have been nice to have had that validation. That letter was part of the reason I came back to Peridale. I had the letter in front of me the night that I drank wine and decided I was moving into Mum’s house. It felt like permission. I assumed everyone else knew he’d confessed, but it turns out everyone’s feelings towards me had been frozen where they were on the day I left.”
Leah’s fingers pulled at the perfect sheets as more tears clouded her eyes.
“I tried to tell Brooke and Max about the letter, but they didn’t believe me. Why would they? I can’t blame them for wanting me to suffer. Part of me felt like it was my karma for how I treated everyone in the wake of the trial.”
“Nobody deserves this.” Julia squeezed Leah’s uninjured hand hard. “For the first time since you came back to Peridale, I understand you. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t judge you based on other people’s stories, but now I can see t
he truth, and I’m so sorry.”
Leah nodded as more tears rolled down her face. The door opened, and Doctor Khan gestured for Julia to leave; she had stayed way over her five minutes.
“She needs rest,” Doctor Khan said gently, “and so do you. Go home. We’ll take good care of her.”
Julia reluctantly let go of Leah’s hand. She kissed her on the forehead before walking towards the door.
“There’s a box in my bedroom,” Leah called. “A wooden box with a lotus carving. The letter is in there if you need proof.”
“I believe you, Leah.” Julia looked her in the eyes. “I’ll be back later.”
Leaving Leah in Doctor Khan’s capable hands, Julia left the hospital with Barker. As they walked across the car park to Barker’s car, she spotted Johnny and Roxy heading to the entrance, each with a bunch of flowers. They didn’t notice her, and she didn’t attract their attention; they needed their own healing moments with Leah. The flowers were a good sign they were ready for it.
“The body I viewed last night,” Julia said when she was in Barker’s car. “Did they find out who she was?”
“Milly Brindle.” Barker started the engine after securing his seatbelt. “She was a forty-three-year-old homeless woman. Died of a drug overdose. Her brother identified her this morning.”
Julia nodded, glad the woman had someone who was going to miss and remember her.
“Let’s go home,” Julia said, looking fondly at Barker.
They drove back to Peridale. Julia considered stopping to check the wooden lotus box with Gary’s letter, but she decided against it. She believed every word Leah had told her, and that was all that mattered.
Chapter Eighteen
Two Weeks Later
The heatwave finally broke when September arrived, and by Julia’s birthday, the crispness in the air signalled that autumn was around the corner.
“Thirty-nine!” Dot exclaimed as they sat around Julia’s dining table, eating birthday cake. “Do you feel old?”