by Lucy Eden
He didn't come back.
My alarm went off at six, Sunday morning. It was a criminal hour for someone who was unemployed, and my eyes were puffy and itchy from crying myself to sleep. But I wanted to get the hell out of there before Ryan woke up and came back to our campsite. I felt bad about leaving his tent just sitting there, but not as bad as I'd feel if I had to talk to him. Or apologize. Or look at the campsite and make myself all sad about what had happened.
I went through a truncated version of my morning routine, not bothering to shower. I'd just do that when I got home. Maybe I’d even take a hot bath once I was in my apartment and felt like I could let my guard down. Obviously, I couldn’t trust myself to do that around somebody else.
I packed everything up haphazardly and made a run for my car, but I felt my pace slow as I passed Ryan's truck. No signs of life, thank goodness, but I felt like I was catching secondhand regrets just by looking at a parked vehicle.
"Hey, Mat."
I stopped dead in my tracks. Caught in the act of escaping. Basil came up behind me and started licking my hand, so I had to turn around to give him some attention. I could ignore a human, but not a dog.
"You okay?" Ryan asked. He looked tired as hell and just as cute as ever. Damn him.
"Why are you always asking me that?" I asked. I wasn't trying to be mean; it was just something I'd noticed. Ryan shrugged.
"I'm always too open with my own feelings. I sometimes don't pay close enough attention to what other people are feeling, so I have to check in."
"That makes sense. I should start doing that so I stop being such a huge bummer." There I went again, saying things I shouldn’t. I squatted down to give Basil some more pets. I didn't want to look Ryan in the eye. "I'm sorry. I just...got a little maudlin, I guess."
"I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to hurt you. It was a good weekend, wasn't it?" he asked. I looked up at his wistful expression. It was like looking in an extremely handsome mirror, and it made my soft little heart ache.
"Yeah. Most of it." I made myself smile. His returning smile was tentative.
"You know, this doesn't have to be the last time we see each other. I'd really like to see you again," Ryan said. A gentle, hopeful warmth filled me. I wanted to see him again, every day, if I could. The sudden happiness faded. I stood, brushing Basil fur off my hands. This was about to get sad again, and I wanted to be able to flee as soon as possible. He watched me warily, like he knew I was thinking about making a run for it.
"It's a long way to see each other," I said instead. I tried to keep my voice steady, but it shook a little.
"Yeah, but this is halfway." His expression never fell. "Will you meet up with me again? Next weekend? I'll pay for your gas. Hell, I'll come pick you up."
"That doesn't make any sense," I said, but it felt good to be wanted. Maybe I didn't have a job, but at least one person thought I was worth spending time with. He stepped closer.
"Give me your phone so I can give you my number. We can make plans later. I just...don't want this to be how it ends," Ryan said. Looking into his dark eyes, standing this close, I didn't, either. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and unlocked it.
"Wait a sec, I've got a notification...oh." I froze.
"What?"
"I got an interview." I had never felt more relieved. I was anxious, sure, but relief was winning out for now.
"Already?" Ryan asked.
"Well, um. I felt like things were going bad at my job a while ago, so I started looking around, just in case."
"That was really good thinking. That's amazing." He was giving me a look that I thought might be pride. Like something serious enough had happened between us that he had an emotional stake in my life. I handed him my phone. "You'll text me and tell me how it goes, right?"
"Yeah." This felt good. So good that I had whiplash from how terrible my week had been. I tucked my phone back in my pocket and turned to go, then changed my mind. I couldn't leave without a goodbye kiss. I didn't mean for my arms to go around his neck, or to press so close, or to let a sigh slip out. I definitely didn't mean to murmur that I would miss him, but his returning smile and hug were worth it.
Back at my car, the pee-tent was still lying behind my rear right tire. It was completely soaked with rainwater and completely useless, so I chucked it in the closest trash barrel before I got in. Feeling like I'd relieved myself of more than one burden, I put the car in reverse, but sat with my foot on the brake for long enough to text Ryan.
We should go camping in a hotel next time, I said. A little way down the road, he texted back. I passed a few text stops on the highway back home, and thought about stopping to see what he’d said but chickened out. It wasn’t like I thought Ryan would text me to tell me he’d changed his mind, but being at home would make me feel more grounded, more like this whole thing was real. Though waiting felt like the right decision for the first hour or so of the drive, it got harder and harder not to look at my phone.
By the time I got home, all I wanted was to talk to Ryan. I left most of my gear in the car, just grabbing my backpack since my wallet and toiletries were inside. When I finally sat down on the couch and curled up around my phone, the butterflies that had started my weekend returned, warmth spreading through my body as I read his short text.
I'll be happy as long as I get to see you again.
About The Author
A.Z. Louise
A.Z. Louise is an engineer-turned-writer, whose conure keeps them company during the writing process. Their work runs the gamut from speculative fiction to contemporary romance, as long as there's a happy ending. When not writing, they can be found knitting, playing folk harp, or weaving.
Links to their work can be found at azlouise.com
About What You Need
Ness has one thing on her mind—advancing her career in real estate—but a snowstorm, one bed, and a passionate attraction to her co-worker threaten to bring joy back into her workaholic life.
What You Need
Torrance Sené
“You’ve got to be joking…” Ness sighed and stared at the chalet standing proudly in front of them. Like some defiant, mocking bastard. Note to self: Add mountains to places I hate.
The passenger-side car door closed, and soon, her colleague Bree chuckled beside her. “They call this a resort?” She snorted. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s a gorgeous place, but this is so not a lodge. There’s no one even here.”
“Didn’t need your commentary, thanks.” Ness rolled her eyes and pulled the property’s keys out of her coat pocket. The agency had stated it was an inn, and she’d expected multiple buildings with a spa or at least a few saunas—possibly a gym. Or even a ski shop with it being a terrain like this. A winter wonderland getaway tucked away in the Colorado Mountains. Appraising something like that would look amazing on her résumé.
It was the only reason she’d subcontracted Bree through work to come along for extra protection. She liked having someone with her in case of creepy men who had no idea what boundaries or human decency were.
The first few times that’d happened had been enough for her, especially after the last one. Another empty building, only that time with a squatter who was a little too happy to see her and had followed her around. She’d almost quit after that, but a friend mentioned hiring a bodyguard instead, since spending nights feeling unsafe was no way to get a job done. After meeting Bree, she knew it was the best way to keep her career moving forward.
But now, she’d be stuck with her. Alone in a house with no escape from the woman she’d been unable to stop thinking about since the day they met. The snow crunched beneath Ness’s boots as she traipsed up the steps to the stone and wood chalet, duffel bag in hand. She just needed to get through this weekend and back to forgetting about her coworker and the sweet way the corner of her eyes crinkled when she laughed.
The two women didn’t see each other often. Only when Ness needed a little extra protection on an away job. Nes
s enjoyed that, enjoyed the ability to push her out of her mind and focus on work. The last thing she needed was some stunning woman distracting her. She doubted she’d have much luck ignoring her this weekend, even if inviting Bree along had been her own idea. There wouldn’t be anything to divide their attention away from one another. No guests or staff to talk to. And she’d forgotten the latest novel she’d been reading on the nightstand back in town.
Her skin bristled the more she thought about being alone together. Bree threatened the tight rein Ness held over her life. And now she would have to deal with all this forced proximity.
“Didn’t realize I needed your permission to speak.” Bree’s heavy footsteps followed her up the stairs. “That possible promotion is really going to your head, huh?”
Ness clenched her jaw. She decided it was better not to reply and keep her attention on unlocking the door. Bree got under her skin, always offering unprompted opinions whenever they worked together. She had one job—to be a bodyguard—but she was always so damn chatty. And her voice was like silk against Ness’s skin.
Soft, smooth, … and distracting.
She should never have let the promotion slip, over after-work drinks one night. It felt like letting someone in a little more. And getting close to someone again, especially someone she worked with, didn’t fall within the current version of Ness’s five-year plan. Dating was a section of the pie chart she could live without.
The wind whipped around them both as Ness twisted the key, swinging the door open. The scent of cedar and pine greeted them and mingled with the musk of Bree’s perfume. But the interior felt no warmer than outside. Great.
“They knew we were coming,” Bree offered another unwarranted statement as she removed her scarf once they were inside and out of the wind. “The least they should’ve done was flip on the heat.”
Ness sighed. “I’ll call Mason and see what’s up.” She clicked her boss’s contact in her phone and let it ring. The late afternoon sun filtering through the windows glinted off Bree’s black hair and set off the dark blue highlights. She looked so gorgeous in that light.
What the hell? Ness shook her head. Nope. Absolutely not. You work with her, for God’s sake. She turned around and focused on the wall, denying her attraction.
It would be unethical.
Wrong. Taboo. And feel so fucking good…
Heat rose to her cheeks, and she paced through the room, putting a little more distance between them. Come on, Mason. Pick up the phone.
Suddenly, the ringing cut off, and the connection made an annoying beep that could only mean one thing. Fuck. “The signal dropped. Stupid mountains.” Ness pinched the bridge of her nose. Could things get any worse?
Bree bent over, admiring the antiques in a glass cabinet. Her ass looked amazing in those tight leggings. Tall boots accentuated her calf muscles beautifully. But then the rest of her gorgeous body disappeared under a puffy parka.
Yes, they definitely could get worse.
Ness swallowed. She’d hired Bree. Essentially, on paper at least, she was her boss. And as her boss, the last thing she needed to do was give in to this attraction. It was unprofessional. Not to mention it would put another woman at risk for a reprimand, and Ness didn’t want that. She wanted Bree to succeed as much as she did herself. So, these thoughts needed to go away and leave her in peace. They were here to do a job. That’s it. She needed her body to get on board with this fact and calm the hell down.
“Seriously?” Bree turned around and sighed. She shrugged her shoulders. “So, business continues as usual, then?”
“Yeah. We don’t really have anything else to do.” Ness chuckled wryly, crossing her arms over her chest and making her leather jacket squeak. “Might as well do my job and appraise the place. We’ll get paid either way.” Besides, she hated leaving anything unfinished. There was a reputation at work she needed to uphold. The cabin instead of an inn, the lack of heat and staff, these were just things she’d have to deal with, and adapt. They shouldn’t keep her from doing what she came for.
Bree’s eyes sparkled. “You say that, but this place must surely have something fun we can get up to.” A smirk pulled at her lips. “Use your imagination, Ness.”
Was that a flirt? Was she flirting?
Nah. Ness was simply imagining things. She had to be. It was merely a side effect of not getting laid in three years. Not since Anthony had broken her heart. She cleared her throat. She hated thinking of him. What kind of man dumps a woman just because he finds out she’s bisexual? Who does shit like that? Asshole.
She stared at an imperfection in the wood paneling, pushing away the feelings of inadequacy that had plagued her since before she cracked the dam that held it all back. She wasn’t good enough—whole enough—as she was. Not for anyone. Dating was no longer for her. She’d come to accept it. Besides, was Bree even into women?
She secretly hoped. Or … maybe she didn’t. Maybe working with Bree would be a whole lot easier if she simply pretended the alluring woman was completely and utterly straight. Would that perhaps make the unwanted thoughts disappear? Ah, a possible solution. A sense of control washed back over her, tension dialing back to a manageable level.
“Yeah. Well, I need to do my job. But I guess do whatever the hell you want since the place is empty, and you spent all that time driving. Maybe there’s playing cards or something in a drawer somewhere.”
Bree removed her parka. “We both know I always pack a deck.”
Ness slipped off her jacket as well and grabbed the clipboard and day planner from her bag. “Text me if anything … Never mind. No service.” She disappeared around the corner and headed up the stairs. The cabin was gorgeous, and she had things to do. Her colleague was just a distraction. She needed distance if she wanted to keep her head straight and also shove all those disturbing feelings back down.
She definitely shouldn’t think of how the car had smelled like Bree’s perfume for the duration of the journey, and how that made Ness just want to nestle into her neck like a kitten. She cleared her throat. Okay, that was helpful and not helpful at the same time.
Consulting the papers, she ran through the checklist. Focus. Bree could entertain herself downstairs while Ness worked. It was the perfect arrangement. The first room upstairs wasn’t what she expected. In fact, the upstairs seemed to have been remodeled into one giant room. So, this cabin was a getaway for couples—not families.
A bit of loneliness swirled in her belly. She stared at the massive bathtub, big enough for two. How amazing would a secluded getaway like this be? How romantic… She swallowed the lump in her throat and jotted some notes as she made her way through the master suite.
Memories pricked at her mind. A trip to Napa Valley. Sunshine, laughter, and wine at the height of a beautiful summer. She and Anthony had the entire villa to themselves. Rows and rows of grapes stretched far outside their window as he kissed along her shoulders and licked up the column of her neck as her eyes fluttered shut. His thick cock was buried deep inside her, leisurely thrusting as he whispered sweet and filthy things between kisses. She’d thought they’d be together forever. That he was the one. But it had ended so coldly and with such prejudice.
Her eyes stung. It wasn’t that she missed him. No. He’d been a dick in the end and easy to get over. What she missed was being with someone.
Being in love.
Being so certain of someone else and how they wanted her, the assurance and stability in that. She blinked quickly as she headed back downstairs, ending the tears before they’d the chance to begun.
The stunning stone and marble kitchen featured a breakfast nook, a gas fireplace, and a large workspace big enough for an amateur chef to have a field day. She could see the immense potential for opening this up for rentals or even for buyers. Who wouldn’t want their own private oasis in the mountains? Think of all the candlelit dinners with snow falling outside and cozying up together by the fireplace in the living room.
Her
chest ached. Her shoulders slumped. The marketing side of her brain gave way to the personal. This was the sort of place she wanted to share with someone. Though maybe on the beach in New England versus the mountains. But that meant opening herself up again, and she couldn’t do that. The pain was still too real, too intense.
Anthony had made her question so much about herself. What she wanted. What she needed. It’s the one thing she tried to cling to from that relationship.
Yes, it broke her, but it also gave her perspective. She wanted to be accepted, fully, by someone. Loved for who she was and not be expected to hide some of it or worse, deny it. But what if the next person did the same?
What if they also found her lacking by simply being who she was?
“Whatever,” she said aloud to no one, before heading into the living area to survey it, and then outside. Work was all she needed. Anything else was too much of a risk. At least work could be somewhat predictable and controlled. Less emotion was involved. She found comfort in the lists, copywriting, and figures.
Snow was falling as Ness ventured to the terrace. The sound of burbling water caught her attention, however. She didn’t recall the brief stating the home had any water features that would still be running in the dead of winter. She rounded one of the columns, and her breath hitched. Bree was in the hot tub.
And she appeared to be naked.
Her black hair was soaked through and slicked back against her scalp. Ness bit her lip. Suddenly, she was very aware of her own body, and all previous misgivings were momentarily forgotten. Warmth and an undeniable ache coursed through her veins. Her pulse rose in cadence. Her fingers itched to touch Bree’s skin.
This was ridiculous.