At least discovering the truth couldn’t tear his heart out again this time.
‘Come to bed with me tonight?’ he asked, his words barely a whisper, but she heard them.
‘Yes,’ she answered. And for a moment, Jay could almost believe he’d asked her another question altogether.
CHAPTER NINE
DAISY HAD NEVER been so grateful to see anywhere as her little cottage on the cliff.
‘Genevieve!’ she called out as she jumped out of the car. The little goat came trotting over from where she was eating a patch of prickly-looking plants.
Behind her, she saw Jay grabbing their bags and thanking the driver, but she just hugged her goat and gave thanks that she was home.
Home. That was what this place was. Which was crazy, since she’d spent less than two full weeks there in her whole life. But it was hers in a way that nowhere else in the world ever had been.
Maybe she didn’t need to ask Viv why after all. All she’d really needed was to spend some time away from the place back in the real world, and she’d learned to appreciate the value it held. Far greater than a new job or a trip around the world, for her.
This place was her sanctuary. Her escape. And she had a feeling she was going to need it in the weeks and months to come.
She and Jay still hadn’t talked about what was happening between them. After his confession about how he felt seeing Milli again, it just hadn’t been the time. He’d said he was angry, but Daisy suspected that was just man-talk for upset and heartbroken.
He’d made love to her that night as if it was the last time, and she’d braced herself for him telling her this morning that he wasn’t coming back with her. That he was heading to LA to talk to Milli properly at last.
But he hadn’t.
Matteo and Lorenzo appeared from around the side of the villa and excitedly pointed out new improvements to them both, some that they’d finished before they’d left for Rome, but some that were utterly unexpected and new. Daisy suspected they must have had some help over the last couple of days to get it all done. Outside, the finished roof, the windows and the painted front door all finally looked like the photo the solicitor had shown her of the cottage in better days. And inside, all the stained and grubby walls had been painted a fresh, bright white. The floors and bathrooms had been cleaned, and even the dated furniture didn’t look so awful against a nice backdrop.
‘It’s amazing. Thank you!’ She threw her arms around each of the men in turn. ‘How much do I owe you?’
‘We’ve already been paid,’ Matteo replied, looking at Jay. ‘But if you need anything else doing, just call us.’
‘How much do I owe you, then?’ she asked, turning to Jay as the builders returned to packing up their stuff.
Jay shrugged. ‘Call it a housewarming gift.’
‘You can’t just fix up my house as a gift.’ Gifts were flowers from the service station, or knock-off perfume. And yeah, okay, Jay could afford many times the sort of gifts her old boyfriends used to give her. But this was her house. It was personal.
‘You let me stay here.’ Jay stepped closer, his hands at her waist, his forehead close to hers. ‘You helped me find my music again. You got me drunk and made me relax. You gave me the most fun and passionate three days of my entire life. And then you put on a stupid ring you hate and pretended to be in love with me so that I wouldn’t be humiliated in front of my ex and the whole world in Rome. I think I can pay for some roof tiles.’
‘Well, when you put it like that...’ She kissed him. ‘Thank you.’
‘Thank you. I honestly don’t know how I’d have made it through last night without you.’
He’d already made his thank-yous for that in bed the night before, as far as Daisy was concerned. And now it was over, she didn’t want to dwell on it.
Especially because it made her start thinking about how heavy the ring on her left hand felt—more from the lies than the diamond.
They dumped their bags and wandered down the hill into the village for lunch, pulling up chairs at the café Daisy had discovered on their first day and ordering crispy, thin pizzas loaded with fresh vegetables and deli meat.
‘You realise at some point we’re going to have to fake break up.’ Daisy bit into her pizza and moaned at how good it tasted. Swallowing, she carried on. ‘I mean, unless you want to actually fake marry me and fake divorce me later.’
Actually, that didn’t sound so terrible. They could just keep hanging out, writing songs, having sex and laughing together until one of them met someone they actually loved—that would be Jay, she was certain—and decided it was time to move on.
Okay, then it would probably suck a lot. Because she’d have grown used to having him around by then. To the life they had together.
‘You’d have to give me a damn good divorce settlement, though,’ she said, because she couldn’t say, ‘I’ll miss you when this is over.’ That wasn’t the deal they’d struck.
Jay pulled a face. ‘Maybe you’d have to give me one. You might be the one who becomes an amazingly huge star and decides I’m not big enough for you any more.’
There was something in his voice. A hint of bitterness, maybe.
‘Is that what you think happened with Milli?’
He shrugged and stared down at his pizza. ‘How would I know? She never talked to me directly, remember? But from what I learned later...’ He paused, as if saying the words was the hardest thing he’d ever do. ‘Yes. She left me when I couldn’t do anything more to add to her reputation or celebrity. Because while I thought we were in love, for her it was publicity, like it is with you and me. Only difference is, we both know what the score is this time.’
Daisy’s heart hurt for him. He’d been in love and Milli had been faking it all along. God, that had to screw a person up, right?
‘We definitely do.’ Daisy forced herself not to look at his engagement ring on her finger. Not to imagine for even one second that this relationship was something other than it was.
Even though she was afraid she was starting to want it to be, with every moment they spent together.
Which was why she had to focus on how this was all going to end. She didn’t want to end up broken as Jay had been by Milli. She didn’t even have the excuse of not knowing that it was all for show from the outset.
‘You know, my mum would be completely baffled by this conversation,’ Jay said, a fond smile on his face.
‘You said once that she didn’t understand all this fake relationship stuff? I mean, if anyone actually does.’
‘Yeah. She and my dad...they were the real thing. So in love they could never even look at another person.’ A shadow fell across his face for a second. ‘Until he died.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Daisy blurted automatically.
Jay shook his head. ‘It was a long time ago now, when I was a teenager. Afterwards... I threw myself into music as a sort of coping mechanism, you know?’
‘I know,’ Daisy said, with feeling. ‘When I was younger, growing up in Liverpool, music was my only escape. Practising, getting better, it was a distraction from everything that was awful at home or at school. And I knew, even then, that it was going to be my way out—the one thing that would help me escape the place I grew up and the family that didn’t want me. The same way my mum did.’
She pulled back as Jay reached out to take her hand. She hadn’t meant to say so much—far more than she’d shared with anyone else since she’d left Liverpool.
‘Your mum was a musician?’ Jay asked softly.
‘A wannabe one,’ Daisy said with a shrug. ‘She left when I was six to chase fame. But since nobody has ever heard of her since, I’m guessing it didn’t go so well. She left me her mandolin, though, so I guess I have her to thank for my career.’
Jay’s gaze was soft, sympathetic, but he didn’t push her any more
on the subject. He had to know her well enough to understand that she’d already said far more than she was really comfortable with.
‘My dad taught Harry and me to play guitar. That’s why we started the band together, after he died. Sort of in his memory.’
‘I bet he’d have loved that. I’m sure your mum did too.’
‘Yeah.’ His smile faltered a little. ‘It kept him alive for us all, I guess. Mum...she’s always said that there’s only one true love for a person—a soul mate. Dad was hers. She was only in her forties when he died, but she’s never even gone on a date since.’
Daisy tried to imagine a love that deep and couldn’t. She’d never seen it. But Jay obviously had. No wonder discovering that Milli was faking it had hurt him so badly—he’d been expecting the real thing, like his parents had.
She wanted to say something sympathetic. Something to show she understood him, felt for him, wanted to be there for him.
But she was still Daisy Mulligan, however much he was messing with her emotions. So instead she said, ‘Huh. Given how much sex you’ve had since the love of your life walked out, I’m guessing this is one of those things that’s different for guys?’
That surprised a laugh from him, at least. ‘Only with you,’ he said.
His words caught her in the chest, and she fought to keep her light-hearted, careless composure. ‘Okay, then, back to the point at hand. How are we going to do it?’ she carried on, forcing a smile. ‘Break up, I mean. Milli already stole “dumping you on social media,” so we need something new, right? Do you want to dump me this time? Or shall I catch you with another woman? Or hire a skywriter?’
Finally, Jay laughed at her last suggestion. ‘This is clearly going to take some thought,’ he said. ‘I think we’ll need to order pudding, too. I bet this place does a great tiramisu.’
‘Works for me,’ Daisy said, with a smile she couldn’t quite feel.
If all she could have with Jay was a few months of a fake relationship, at least she could make sure they both had as much fun with it as possible.
* * *
Lunch lingered long into the afternoon, with liqueur coffees to follow the pudding, and their break-up suggestions becoming more outrageous by the minute. By the time they staggered back up the hill to the villa, arms around each other and pausing to kiss at regular intervals, they’d reached ‘fighting over custody of Genevieve’ in their break-up plans and scripted some hilarious pleas to ‘think of the goat!’ for the other band members to put out on social media.
Jay couldn’t imagine ever laughing so much with Milli, even if he had known what the deal was between them.
He swung Daisy around by her hand until she toppled into his arms, and held her close. ‘We don’t have to do any of this yet though, right? The breaking up, I mean?’
She smiled up at him, but there was something brittle behind that smile. Something at odds with her words. ‘Of course not. Not while we’re still having fun.’
He bent his head so his lips grazed hers. ‘I’m still having a lot of fun.’
‘So am I,’ she murmured back. ‘Want to go have more fun back at the cottage?’
‘Definitely.’ They raced the rest of the way along the cliff hand in hand, and Jay felt his heart and his spirits rising and rising—
Until he saw the car parked outside Daisy’s cottage.
Daisy skidded to a halt beside him. ‘Is that—?’ She broke off, as Kevin stepped out of the car, raising his sunglasses to look at the building.
‘Nice place.’ Kevin turned to them and lowered his sunglasses again. ‘We thought we’d stop by and hear what you guys have been working on.’
Which, of course, was when the car doors opened and the rest of the band tumbled out.
* * *
‘Do we even have enough bedrooms for them all?’ Daisy hissed to Jay after she dragged him into the bathroom, while outside the locked door Kevin, Harry, Nico and Benji made themselves at home in her cottage’s living area.
‘As long as I share with you we have,’ Jay said. ‘And I think I saw some more bed linen in one of the cupboards. Food, however...’
She pulled a face. ‘We’ll have to go shopping again. Did they tell you they were coming?’
‘Not a hint.’ And he intended to have very strong words with his brother about that shortly.
‘They want to hear the songs we’ve been working on.’ Daisy chewed her lip nervously, and Jay fought not to kiss away her concerns. ‘Except we’ve not exactly been working hard the whole time...’
‘I think we worked damn hard, thank you.’ He pulled her into his arms again and wished, with all his heart, that it were just the two of them again. And Genevieve, of course. ‘Just not on the music.’
‘Which is the part they’ve come to hear. Keep up.’
He kissed her, just because he could. ‘Stop worrying. We have two songs.’
‘One we hate.’
‘And one that will knock their socks off. And that will buy us enough leeway with them to get us time to write the rest.’
She still looked uncertain, but she nodded, all the same. ‘Fine. But I’m not playing hostess or anything. Nobody in there actually believes I’m your doting fiancée. They’re your band, you look after them.’
‘Noted. But if you go pour them all drinks, I’ll make up the beds for everyone.’
‘Done.’ She pressed a swift kiss to his cheek. ‘But I’m hiding the limoncello in our bedroom.’
‘Good plan.’
He gave her a moment to escape to the drinks cabinet they’d stocked up over the last couple of weeks, then slipped out to find the bed linen.
But Harry was waiting for him in what used to be his bedroom.
‘Kevin wanted to come on his own, but I thought you might need backup,’ he said, before Jay could ask. ‘Also, I have questions. Well, one question.’
Jay shook out a pillowcase. ‘Which is?’
‘What the hell are you doing?’
‘Making up the beds.’
‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘I know.’ Jay sighed. Of all of the band, his family and friends, Harry knew most how badly he’d been broken by Milli, and the method of her departure. But he’d never told Harry the worst of it. That it wasn’t the public humiliation—well, it wasn’t just that. It was that the love he’d imagined, the future he’d believed in...none of it had even been real to begin with.
But Harry...he wasn’t just his friend or his band mate. He was his brother. And he worried, Jay knew, the same way he worried about Harry.
‘Look, it’s okay. With Milli... I thought I was in love. I thought I knew what I was doing. But it turned out that it was all just a publicity stunt to her. That our relationship meant nothing more than the next headline.’
Harry winced. ‘I... I wondered. Because of the way she ended it. And that weird thank-you message from her publicist afterwards.’
‘Yeah. That was the real giveaway.’
Jay—thanks for the memories—and the headlines! Milli
If he hadn’t already suspected the truth, that would have sealed it.
‘On the plus side, at least you can tell Mum that Milli definitely wasn’t your one true love?’ Harry suggested.
Jay chuckled. ‘Yeah. I can definitely do that. I mean, how could I be in love with someone who didn’t even really exist? Milli, she was just a character, a facade. I see that now.’ Because Daisy, even when she was faking being in love with him, was anything but. She was real. Even if the game they were playing with the media wasn’t.
‘So you’re not mooning over Milli any more,’ Harry concluded. ‘That’s good. I just don’t want to see you getting hurt again.’
Jay shook his head. ‘It’s different with Daisy...it’s not like with Milli. This time, we both know what we’re doing—we’re play
ing a part, acting at being in love for our fans because it sells records. Nobody is going to get hurt this time.’ It was probably a bad thing that he didn’t even sound convincing to his own ears.
Because he knew, already, that it would be all too easy to get used to having Daisy around. Spending time with her. Listening to her laugh. Making love to her at night and waking up to her in the mornings.
Daisy was prickly and sarcastic and short-tempered and basically the opposite of the easy-going, relaxed life and personality he’d worked hard to develop for himself. And she was definitely the polar opposite of Milli’s sugary sweetness.
He liked all that about her. He liked most things about her.
That was the problem.
‘We were just talking today about how we’re going to stage our break-up,’ Jay went on, not entirely sure if he was trying to convince Harry or himself.
‘Why?’
‘Because it was funny?’ It had been, somehow. Hilarious even, at the time. But thinking about it now gave him chills.
‘I mean, why are you planning on breaking up? Did you check your social-media notifications today?’ Jay shook his head, and Harry pulled out his phone. ‘Then you might not have seen this.’
Holding up the screen so Jay could see it clearly, Harry gave him a knowing look. Jay ignored him and focussed on the photo on the phone.
It was him and Daisy in Rome, of course. But not any of the staged photo opportunities they’d manufactured that night at the awards ceremony. It wasn’t a shot of them on the red carpet, or his kissing her ostentatiously in front of the cameras. It was the smaller, quieter moment after it was all over, when she’d taken him aside to check he was okay after Milli, and then told him about seeing Viv and not being able to talk to her.
In the shot, their heads were bent close together, and he had one hand at her waist, while she pressed her palm against his cheek. She looked about to reach up and kiss him—and from his memory, she had.
But most of all, they looked like a couple. A real couple.
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