“I was there, and I do know. It may not have been the reason he got kicked out, but it’s the reason he left town with nowhere to go, so he bailed. You and I both know it.”
She’s right, as much as I hate to admit it.
All of these questions are driving me nuts, only because I know she’s trying to peel back a layer of a wound I’ve spent so much time trying to heal. She’s trying to expose how I really feel about Maverick being back and I’m not sure I’m ready to go there just yet. I want to close my mind off to it and enjoy having him home. If I let myself feel the emotions I’ve worked to bury deep, I’ll only be left heartbroken when he inevitably leaves.
Instead, I make the decision to soak up whatever time I have left with him, not wanting to let the idea of him staying change what is happening between us. All I’ve wanted was to see him again and now that he’s back, I promise myself I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.
I only hope my tattered heart can take it if he walks away again.
Seven
MAVERICK
The past few days have flown by. I spent most of yesterday at my dad’s house. Going back to that place drudged up so many old memories I’ve kept at bay.
I told myself I only wanted to go get the shit he had kept of my mom’s. Those were the only pieces of my life with him I would ever want to revisit. I found an old box in the bottom of his bedroom closet that kept a lot of her belongings. There were pictures in frames that once hung on the walls, her necklace with my birthstone, and even her wedding ring. Sitting in the front seat of my dad’s truck, I arranged for the cleaning company to come in and clear out the house. Everything inside would be tossed out. They’d get it ready to be listed.
I wanted to wipe my hands of this whole place and never have to come back here.
Except that wasn’t the truth. I did want to stay in Everton, simply because I wasn’t prepared to say goodbye to Ryan.
All this time I’ve been avoiding trips back here, mostly not wanting to face all the terrible memories it would bring. As much as I hated my dad, I admit moving to Everton wasn’t all bad. If my mom hadn’t passed away, my dad would’ve never had been driven to leave. I would’ve never met Dean or Graham, which means I certainly never would’ve laid eyes on Ryan.
Ryan and I have spent time together every day since I’ve been back. My body still craves having her close, every bit as it once did. We haven’t talked about what is still between us. I’ve never seen any sign she wanted it to stop, but Ryan was never one to openly confess her emotions. She keeps her hard exterior firmly in place like a defense mechanism.
The only time I’ve seen any sort of vulnerability shining through the cracked edges was when I pressed a kiss against the tattooed heart on her forearm. I recognized it immediately as being almost identical to the one she had drawn on her perfect skin all those years ago. Only now, the vines wrapped around it look more like barbwire, making it look like it’s somehow keeping all the pieces of her heart together.
Opening the closet door, I pull out the bag where my newly pressed suit hangs. Laying it out on the bed, I head into the bathroom and turn on the shower so it’s hot. The steam rises as I undress from my boxers and move to stand under the spray.
I stopped by the bar last night when Ryan was working. After a long day at my dad’s house and a big day ahead at the funeral, I told her I was going to call it an early night. She was aware I had the funeral today and after I reassured her she didn’t have to come, I decided to head out. It wasn’t long after I came back to the hotel that I crashed.
Standing beneath the hot spray, my thoughts drift back to Ryan. My body aches for her, to have her close to me, especially after all this time. I stand under the water until the temperature turns cold. I’m not surprised that my lack of urgency in getting to the funeral home has me leaving twenty minutes later than I had planned.
Thankfully, I expect this will be a small gathering of only a few friends my dad had made in town and some family members that have traveled in to be here. My Aunt Patricia has made the trip to be here for me.
A few minutes before the services began, I see Dean and Graham enter through the doors.
“Thanks for being here,” I say, reaching my hand out. Graham shakes it, using his other to clap me on the back as he says, “You know we wouldn’t expect you to go through this on your own.”
“That’s right, man,” Dean confirms, reaching around to give me a hug. I follow behind them as they take a seat, making my way toward the front of the room. Sitting with my hands in my lap, I listen as the minister talks about the life my dad has led and the heartbreak from the family he leaves behind.
I feel annoyed hearing him replay all the memories, from stories other family members have shared. I want to cut him off, tell him to stop talking when the sound of heels clicking on the tile floor provide a welcome distraction.
I look up to see Ryan standing next to me in a deep-red sweater and a pair of black, denim jeans. She’s dressed in high-heeled boots, which completely take me off guard. Normally, you wouldn’t find her in anything but a pair of DC’s or Etnies.
Her makeup is dark; her blue eyes made captivating. The small smile that plays on her lips nearly knocks me backward. She rounds the side of the pew, side-stepping her way closer, before taking a seat next to me.
“Hey,” I whisper to her, reaching over to wrap my fingers around hers.
She smiles up at me, a strand of her dark hair falling in front of her face. Keeping her hand wrapped in mine, I use my other arm to wrap around the back of the seat, pulling her to me.
It dawns on me for only a minute that Dean is here before the thought is immediately pushed out of my mind. Pressing a kiss against her hair, I turn toward the minister who continues to talk about all my dad has accomplished in his life. Yeah, he has had several achievements, most of which were before my mom passed.
Running my hand up and down her arm, I press my mouth against her ear and whisper, “You really didn’t have to come, but I can’t lie, I’m so fuckin’ glad you’re here.”
She tilts her head back to look at me. Her eyes bounce between my eyes down to my mouth and back up to meet my gaze. “Don’t you think you should curb the swears, Mav? At least until we leave and are alone.”
“I think you like my dirty mouth.”
When her eyes trail back down to my mouth, I can’t help but smile at the way she bites down on her lower lip. Seeing my reaction to her obvious perusal has her looking back up at me. I flash her a wink which earns me an eye roll as she turns to face forward again.
“I can think of about ten things I’d rather be doing right now with this mouth,” I whisper against her hair.
A shiver rolls through her body as I run my hand back up her arm, knowing it has nothing to do with her body’s temperature and everything to do with my whispered promises.
Eight
RYAN
After the funeral ended, Maverick disappeared to talk to the minister. Taking a seat outside on the bench, I wait for him. I’m not sure what he has planned for the rest of the evening, but knowing the primary reason for him coming back to Everton was for today, I want to make the most of whatever time I have left with him.
People filter in and out the front doors of the church. I turn my head when I hear Dean and Graham laughing as they jog down the front steps.
“I didn’t expect to see you here today,” Dean says, noticing me sitting here.
Glancing over at Graham, I see the look of apology on his face.
Looking back at Dean, he interrupts to say, “Hey, I’m going to take off. I wanted to swing by the office on my way home.”
With a nod of his head, he mutters out a goodbye to Graham before turning his attention back on me.
“What do you want me to say? Yes, I’ve been seeing Maverick since he’s been back. I don’t really think it’s any of your business though.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Once again, it’s no
t any of your business.”
His eyes narrow. His jaw set in place.
Yes, I know I’m being a bitch, but I really don’t think he has a say in who I spend my time with. Yes, he is my brother and I want his support, but at the end of the day, I’m going to do what makes me happy.
“It’s not like he’s going to be here for long anyway.”
Judging by the look on Dean’s face, there is more he wants to say but I choose to let it go.
“I’m heading back to Chicago tomorrow afternoon. Maybe we can meet for lunch?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Alright, I’ll text you tomorrow morning to make arrangements.”
Dean reaches into the pocket of his dress pants and pulls out the key to his car. Hitting the fob button, his car starts in the mostly empty parking lot.
I watch as he jogs down the front steps toward where he’s parked before he turns to face me.
“Oh, and, Ry, you can bring Maverick with you if you want. Despite what you may be telling yourself right now, I want you to be happy. If that means being with Maverick, I’ll support whatever decision you make.”
Without another word or a chance for me to respond, he turns around and continues down the stairs toward his BMW. I’m so lost in watching him pull out of his parking spot and drive out of the lot that I don’t hear Maverick approach me.
“You didn’t have to wait for me,” he says as I gaze up at him, taking in the light dusting of facial hair lining his jaw.
“I was thinking we could stop and get dinner.”
“I was actually thinking about heading back to the hotel and ordering in.”
The disappointment creeps in and my heart aches over the rejection from him. I guess it’s better this way. We don’t need to spend every day together like we have been. It’s only going to make saying goodbye more difficult.
“Alright,” I say, taking a step closer to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’ll probably head home for the night then.”
His arms slide around me as he leans in close, his nose against my shoulder.
“I don’t want you to go.”
I tilt my head back, trying to read his expression.
“You thought I meant I didn’t want to hang out or have you come back to the room with me. That’s not what I was trying to say.”
I hate that he is reading me so well. I normally try so hard to keep my emotions in check, to not let anything affect me, yet having him around this week has brought all my walls down.
“No, I didn’t,” I lie, hating how vulnerable I feel. “I just figured you would want your space.”
“Don’t lie to me,” he says, cutting me off.
I narrow my eyes at him. He’s onto me though as his grin stretches across his face, slipping his arm around my neck, pulling me closer. He presses his mouth against my forehead, kissing me.
“Don’t even try to say I don’t know what I’m talking about. We both know I’m right and you’d rather be told to go streaking through the parking lot than admit you’re wrong.”
I roll my eyes dramatically.
“I mean, if you want to strip right here, you certainly won’t see me complaining. It would delay our trip back to the hotel and what I have planned, but I’m all for getting started right here.”
Smacking him on the chest, I take a step back and say, “Don’t you wish.”
“You’re right, baby. I do fucking wish.”
The entire way back to the hotel, I feel like I’m riding on a high. The adrenaline coursing through me makes it hard to keep my mind off what he has in store for the night. As soon as the elevator doors close, we can’t keep our hands off each other. His strong hands wrap around my thighs, hoisting me up against the wall. His hard length rubs against me through the denim of my jeans and the move steals my breath away.
“You feel good, baby.”
His warm breath feathers along my wet lips still tingling from his punishing kiss. I slip my hand around his neck, holding him closer to me.
The elevator dings, announcing our arrival, and the sound of a throat clearing clues us in that we are no longer alone.
“Excuse us,” Maverick says, lowering me to the floor as he slides his hand in mine, tugging me along behind him out of the elevator.
I mutter an apology as we slip past the older couple. I can’t help but chuckle at the grin on the gentleman’s face when he gives me a wink.
Maverick quickly slides the key in the reader. The light flashes green and he quickly pushes the door open. He pulls me in behind him before slamming the door shut.
“God, you make me crazy. Now that I’ve had a taste of you, I’m like a starving man. Come here,” he groans, pressing me up against the steel door as his mouth crashes down on mine.
I moan as my legs find their way home around his waist once again. He leans back, his eyes glossy and full of desire. He runs his hand over my chest, slipping beneath the cotton of my sweater. His callused fingers feeling rough against my soft skin.
“Mav,” I choke out as his thumb rubs over my sensitive nipple.
With every tweak, he adds in a perfectly timed thrust against my aching center. Squeezing my eyes shut, I feel the arousal building, causing a shiver to roll through me.
Wrapping his hands around my thighs again, he keeps a hold of me as he carries me into the room, setting me on the edge of the bed.
Lifting my leg into the air, he slowly eases the zipper down on my boots. His eyes burn into mine as he slides them off my feet and tosses them onto the floor. My breath hitches when his fingers curl into my denim jeans, pulling them, along with my underwear, down my legs. As soon as I’m bare beneath him, he drops to his knees with his mouth at my center. Sitting up, I peer down at him and watch as his mouth wraps around my aching clit, sucking.
“Holy shit,” I mutter, dropping my head back between my shoulders.
His muffled moans add a vibration against my swollen bud as I lift my pelvis up, grinding against his face. His hands move to cup my ass, holding my body in the air as he buries his mouth between my legs.
“Yes, holy shit, yes. Don’t fucking stop,” I say, reaching down, holding him by his hair so he doesn’t move. I fight against his tight grip to close my thighs around his head.
Lights flash before my eyes, and my body quivers with the force of my release. He doesn’t relent, using his tongue to drive me so far out of my mind I can’t form words or control my movements as I go speeding over the edge.
I feel my body twitch from the aftershocks of my release.
As my vision returns a moment later, I find Maverick standing at the foot of the bed with his pants down and his hard cock jutting out.
Cum leaks from the tip of his cock. My tongue skates across my lower lip at the thought of wrapping my mouth around him. My eyes trail up his body to find him dragging his thumb over his lip as he watches me spread out beneath him. His eyes are hooded, focused between my legs, as a smile plays on his lips.
His hand squeezes his length in a tight grip and I’m unable to resist any longer. As I slide down the bed before him, I take him by surprise when I wrap both of my hands around his shaft and guide his engorged head into my mouth, sucking as if my life depended on it.
His body moves on its own accord, pumping into my mouth as his hands clench into fists. I’m turned on again by how unrestrained he is, unable to control his movements. He may be using my mouth for his pleasure, but I know he’s giving me the power I want now.
Keeping one hand rooted at the base of his cock, I wrap my other around his balls and trail my tongue down his shaft, taking one of his balls in my mouth.
“Mother fuckin’ shit,” he groans, widening his stance as he leans in closer, giving me better access to him.
“Mmm,” I moan, trailing my tongue over to the other side and doing the same. His hands wrap in the strands of my long hair, holding me against him, but not controlling the movement. My hand fists his aching cock, pumping him up and dow
n as I run my tongue over the sensitive flesh back up toward his tip before I suck him back into my mouth.
“Goddamn, Ryan,” he groans, pumping into me over and over.
With my head tilted back and my tongue running beneath his hard length, he takes over sliding in and out of my mouth. Each stroke growing more and more urgent with his need to cum.
The look of pleasure mixed with pain on his face has my body taking over, wanting to see the pain fall away and replaced with the euphoria that he gave me a few minutes ago. With my lips wrapped tightly around him, he forces two hurried thrusts followed by a stream of swear words.
His eyes squeeze shut, tilting his head back. He lets out a deep grunt, rocking through me as I let out a moan, tasting his release.
He leans forward, pressing his mouth against mine. His tongue seeks mine, and I moan knowing his release is still on my tongue.
“You are a dirty little Rebel,” he mumbles against my mouth. “I don’t even want to know where you learned that. I don’t want to picture you giving this to anyone but me, but fuck, it felt so good.”
He pulls me to stand, pressing me against him as his hand slides down, gripping my bare ass. Squeezing the flesh in his hands, he slaps his hand down on my right cheek.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he mutters, wrapping his hands around my thighs.
I run my fingers through his short hair, focusing on nothing but the feel of him pressed against me as he carries me to the bathroom.
I’ve wanted this man for as long as I can remember, and the thought of him leaving again makes my heart ache.
Nine
MAVERICK
I reach my hand beneath the faucet, checking the temperature before I lean over and plug the drain. Standing, I feel the breath of air sucked out of my lungs when my eyes fall on Ryan. She looks beautiful with her long, brown hair falling over her shoulder. My eyes drag over her body as she peels the material of her shirt over her head and unhooks her bra, letting it fall to the floor.
In one swift movement, I grab the hem of my shirt and quickly pull it over my head. I let my gaze fall over her smooth, tan skin, over the ink that wraps around her arm and down her leg. The ink looks so much like the drawn-on designs she once wore.
Tattered (Tattered Heart Duet Book 2) Page 5