“Would you say I’m the most alpha?”
Nicole covered her face again. “Please don’t be mean to me. I’m really vulnerable right now, in your mysterious house with all your nice things.”
He said nothing and when she resurfaced, he wasn’t smiling. Instead his gaze was hot, something like determination. Only determination didn’t usually make her feel like her clothes were too tight. “What?”
Noah tinged her wine glass. “Let’s talk about what’s gonna happen once you finish this.”
“What do you want to happen?”
He leaned forward, a scrap of setting sun highlighting the hard planes of his face. “I want to take you to bed.”
Nicole looked at her glass, wishing he could be cruder. If he was a pig, it would be easier to pretend her desire was something he was making her feel.
“That not something you want?”
“No, I mean yes.” She swallowed; her throat as tight as a lock. “I want that—to be with you that way. But I’m so bad at all of this. I’m sure I’m going to ruin it. Or we won’t work together, and I’ll have taken this big risk for nothing.”
“Nikki…”
She looked down at the table. “Please don’t tell me I’m overreacting.”
“Never.” There was a hard ring in his voice. “Look at me.”
Reluctantly she glanced up at his eyes.
“You’re not overreacting,” he said. “Come here.”
“Where?”
He patted his thighs. Nicole hesitated, then stood and moved toward him. Noah grabbed her thighs and lifted, arranging her so she was sitting across his legs. He was warm beneath his clothes, his thighs and chest rock hard. He curled an arm around her back and Nicole leaned in, breathing his smoke and cedar scent.
Noah’s hand smoothed across her back. “What do you like, Nikki?”
“In bed?”
“Yeah.”
He must have meant limits and safe words and stuff. All the grown-up, one-night-stand talk she’d swerved by never having sex outside relationships. “I want to use condoms.”
“I…sure.” He leaned back to look at her, his brow furrowed. “Anything else?”
Nicole racked her brain for bases she might have missed. “You can be, you know, rough or whatever, but please don’t hurt me, like pull my hair super hard or give me bruises. And please don’t go near my butt. I’ve never done that and…not the first time.”
Her words were meshing together like melted wax, but that was from nerves, not wine. In fact, the wine was probably the only thing that could ever inspire her to say such a thing out loud. That and Noah’s hand stroking her back in firm hard circles.
“Swearing?” he asked.
“Excuse me?”
“I know you don’t like it at work, what about bed?”
“I…what do you want to say?”
“Fucking, cunt, pussy, cock,” he said as though reeling off a list of colours. “Whatever I want. They a problem?”
How did she feel about it? In the warm afternoon air, sitting at his dining table, it made her feel a lot of things; nervous, embarrassed, humiliated…but mostly because she’d always hated swearing, but the thought of Noah saying the c-word while he was inside her made her thighs clench. “Do you want to call me dirty names again? Like you did in your chair?”
His gaze flicked sideways. “Yeah, but that was a bit of a mess. We don’t have to go there again.”
She realised he was nervous, a little convinced she was going to change her mind and bail. That made her feel better for some reason. “What if I want to go there?”
Noah dipped his head and she knew he was hiding a smile.
“You’re allowed to want me,” she said, feeling prickly. “I like that you want me.”
Those unearthly eyes snapped up to meet her. “Do you?”
It was a fair question. The attraction had been there since day one and she’d resented it, hated it and was now giving into it. But did she like it?
“I…yes. I like that you want me. It makes me feel very…” she wanted to say ‘overwhelmed’ but that wasn’t right. “…different.”
“Good-different?”
She nodded.
“I can live with that.”
He wrapped his arms around her, creating a warm gate across her lower back. Nicole pressed her head into his shoulder and tried to relax. How would the sex start? Would he carry her to his bedroom? Were they going to do it in his kitchen?
Noah shifted, bending so his mouth was beside her ear. “You want to hear a story?”
“About what?”
“Places bad men go to have a good time.”
The world around her seemed to be vanishing, narrowing into a single space. She shifted closer to Noah, needing his warmth. “Okay.”
“Sometimes when we needed to blow off steam, we’d hire out a club, put all our own people behind the bar. Have a party. Do you know what I’m saying, Nikki?”
She nodded, scared to speak and break the veil of intimacy between them.
“Word would get out pretty quickly. Guys tried to buy their way in. Girls’d do whatever it took to get through the door. Can you see them lining up outside?”
She nodded, because she could. It would look like Emerald Bar last Saturday, only darker and the girls would be wearing even less clothing.
“It’ll be a big place. Packed from top to bottom. Can you see that, baby?”
Nicole closed her eyes and saw, big rooms lit with neon lights and half-naked women carrying trays and big, menacing man-shadows. The music in Noah’s kitchen seemed louder, perfect for the scene. “Is this party real?”
Noah’s fingers traced across her collarbone. “It’s real right now. It’s a big loud party and there’s pills and empties on every table and people fucking in the corners.”
A chorus of moans took up in her mind, like in porn. “What am I doing there?”
“You came with your friend,” Noah said, instantly solving the problem she’d had when attempting her own fantasy bikie scenario. “She’s off fucking a guy in the bathroom, you’re all alone.”
She closed her eyes, seeing herself sitting on a couch alone, wanting it and fearing attention. “Are you there?”
“Yes.”
She could see him, bigger and scarier than the other men in the club. Women watching him, talking to him. He was important, even she could see that.
Noah sat back and tucked a finger under her chin. “Hey.”
“Hi,” she said, opening her eyes. She felt shyer than she could have believed possible.
Noah didn’t seem to be suffering from the same stage fright. His hand slid lower to cup her breast. “Name?”
Nicole couldn’t breathe, the offense of it, the insult of it was turning her on almost as much as the touch. “Nicole. Can you please not grab me?”
The corner of his mouth tipped up. “This is my place.” The subtext was ‘I can do whatever I like.’
As though to prove it, his finger and thumb slid to a close around her nipple. Nicole shuddered, shifting against his thighs. “Please…”
“Yeah?” He bent his head to nuzzle her neck, his stubble grazing her skin.
“People are watching.”
“Yeah.”
Noah unzipped her hoodie and tugged it off, his hard hands running the length of her arms.
“We don’t know each other.”
“Doesn’t matter.” He tugged at the bottom of her t-shirt and she raised her arms so she could pull it off. Her black bra was revealed, in all its basic glory, but Noah stared like it was a sequined Simone Pérèle.
“What?”
“Your body…” He shook his head. “We’re done talking.”
She opened her mouth to protest, just on principle, but he bent forward and kissed her, gripping her hair to keep her from moving away. This was nothing like the kiss in her kitchen. It was hard and uncompromising, even a little mean. She moaned into his mouth and rocked against him,
the hard fork of her jeans rubbing against her swollen pussy.
Noah’s hands slid around her back and—pang—her bra was open. Impressive. She shrugged her arms forward, but as the material tumbled down her forearms, shyness regrasped. She folded an arm across her hard pink nipples.
“None of that.” Noah tugged at her wrist, but she wouldn’t re-expose herself. She needed to be in a bed, in a dark room. She needed this to be more normal. “Can we go somewhere else?”
“Okay.”
He reached beneath her and lifted her into the air. He headed back up the hallway and paused at what had to be his bedroom door. “Ready?”
No, but that was different from not wanting him. She nodded and he opened the door and carried her inside.
Chapter 9
Noah’s room was spartan, little more than a huge bed and a chest of drawers. She could see there were more paintings on the walls, but she couldn’t make them out. His smell was everywhere, earth and tobacco. He lay her on his sheets and she shifted into them, trying to warm them up.
She could hear her breathing, fast and shallow.
“Look at me.”
She did, though Noah’s face was half-hidden in shadow. Without the bright glow of his eyes, he looked coarse and unattractive. “Take your clothes off. All of them. Shoes, too.”
Oh god, she was wearing her runners in his bed. She toed off her shoes and struggled out of her jean shorts. Despite their age, the waistband was tight, and she had to writhe in his sheets, her bare boobs jiggling, as she forced them down her legs. She felt like an idiot. Noah had done such a good job of setting the mood and she was trashing it.
When she finally kicked her shorts away, she tucked both thumbs into her panty-line. She pulled her underwear away from her body, arching her back and biting her lip. It was a pose that had always gotten good results from Aaron.
The bed sank as Noah stuck his knees in it. “Knock that shit off.”
“Sorry,” she said, mortified. “I told you, I’m not good at sexy.”
“It’s not that. Don’t pretend. If I wanted to fuck a pornstar, I’d pay for it.” He loomed over her, an angry shadow. “I want to fuck you. You know why?”
“No,” she lied. He wanted to unwrap and corrupt her, be the guy who showed her how good sex could be. What other advantage did she have over the Kellys and Daniellas of this world?
He shifted, settling on top of her, one knee on either side of her hips. “You want dick more than any girl I’ve ever met.”
The answer was so shocking, so unexpected, Nicole was legitimately offended. “Excuse me?”
He chuckled. “You think you’re better than it, don’t you, baby? You think you’re better than sex?”
“No,” Nicole said hotly. “But I don’t want…that, more than anyone else.”
Noah gripped her wrists, pulling them above her head. “You calling me a liar?”
“No.”
“Good.” He bent his head and wet heat encapsulated her left nipple. She cried out, her hips rising to press against his. Noah pressed back without hesitation. She could feel him beneath his jeans, hard as iron. She imagined it sliding deep inside her and an involuntary whimper escaped. Noah laughed, moving back so that she ground against thin air. “Not horny at all, are you? Not desperate for a fuck?”
“Shut up!” she said, from some pocket of fury she hadn’t known she had.
He nipped her ear, firm enough that she gasped.
“You listen to me now. You think you’re so good, so pure, better than all us animals who fuck. You’re wrong. You’re the kind who needs to be touched every day. And I’ll prove it to you, right in this room, you hear me?”
Nicole wanted to tell him he was stupid and gross and wrong, but it wasn’t as strong as her curiosity. Did he know her better than she did? Than her boyfriends did? Was he talking rubbish or was he about to make a fool of her? He already had, she realised. He was a big, mean man who washed dishes and painted masterpieces and bought her white wine. He refused to stay where she wanted him to.
“I said, ‘you hear me?’”
A shiver wove its way down her spine. She was trapped between Noah’s soft sheets and his hard body. The world was dark and quiet around them—they might have been the only two people in the world. “Yes. I hear you.”
“Good.” He nipped her ear. “From here on out you’re gonna shut your mouth and feel, and I don’t want to see any of this pretend pouting bullshit. I don’t need you to play Barbie doll for me. You want to get fucked and you will. Just take it.”
She nodded, her need like a physical pain.
A flash of teeth. “You’re gonna love it, but you really want me to stop, you say my full name, okay? You know it?”
“Noah Harold Newcomb.”
His hands loosened around her wrists and the air between them changed. It was the ‘Harold’, she realised. He didn’t know she knew his middle name, his father’s name. She felt the unspoken things rise between them and was sure he was about to get off her, but then he leaned forward and bit her earlobe again. “That’s right. Now, tell me you want to get fucked.”
She nodded, relieved and aroused.
“Say it.”
She closed her eyes. “I want you.”
“Close enough.” Noah sat back on her hips. “How long’s it been?”
Since she had sex? Nicole cast back. Maybe six weeks? No, more like eight? God, when was the last time she and Aaron had slept together?
A hard tug on her nipple. “Just say it.”
“Um, a few months, I think.”
She felt him smile, heard it in his voice when he said, “Good. Now lie back.”
Nicole obliged, keeping her hands over her head and her thighs together. He shut the door and the room became even darker. She snuggled back into Noah’s sheets enjoying the warm and softness of the cloth. She’d never imagined him owning nice sheets—but she’d never imagined a lot of things about him.
She could hear him taking off his clothes, but the darkness swallowed the view. She wondered if he was into doing it with the lights off, or if the darkness was for her benefit. She did like it. Aaron always wanted the lights on and the curtains opened. He’d drag her to the mirror as often as he could. She got used to being exposed but she never liked looking at herself during sex, no matter how many body positivity articles she read.
Noah grasped her hips and climbed on top of her again, higher than before. His bare hips bracketed her stomach and his cock fell along her chest, almost to her chin. The hairy drag of his testicles on her belly was so strange, she squealed. “What are you doing?”
Noah tapped her cheek. “No talking.”
“But—”
“It’s what I want, Nikki.”
He cupped her tits, stroking her nipples with his rough thumbs. Nicole moaned, a tugging sensation drawing her belly tight. It didn’t seem right that she could enjoy herself while he was sitting on her like this, his skin so hot and hairy, his cock so smooth and long. On the other hand, it was so bizarre, it was hard to place it against any of her other sexual encounters. That was weirdly freeing.
Noah pinched her nipples and she whimpered.
“Like that?”
She shook her head.
“Okay, little liar. Hold still.” Noah bundled her breasts together, closing them around the smooth heat of his cock. “Open your mouth. Wide as you can.”
She parted her lips, stretching her jaw. Then, operating on an instinct she didn’t understand, she tilted her chin and slid out her tongue. The tip of his cock was thick and clean. She lapped, tasting salt. Noah hissed and his fingers tweaked her nipples. “That’s it, dirty girl, keep licking.”
He slid forward, rubbing his cock between her breasts, his scrotum dragging across her chest, and a hot humiliation swamped her. What kind of girl was she, to let him do this? She couldn’t even say what he was doing to her, it was too gross.
“Lick,” Noah grunted. “More tongue.”
&n
bsp; Nicole pressed her chin to her sternum and licked him as he pushed his cock between her breasts. It wasn’t an easy maneuver. She had to keep her neck bent and he was moving so fast she had to lick even faster but as she did it, she found a rhythm and it became easier.
“Good girl,” Noah tugged her left nipple. “Deeper. Show me you love it.”
I will, she thought. She didn’t love it, but she didn’t hate it either. The awkwardness she’d felt was seeping away and she was lying in warm sheets, in the dark, making Noah feel good, and all she had to do was lick his penis as he slid between her breasts. He was heavy, but he wasn’t putting all his weight on her. It wasn’t uncomfortable and she knew uncomfortable; waxing and high heels and eyelash extensions and control underwear, and Bikram yoga and long meetings and early mornings and late nights were uncomfortable. Life was uncomfortable. This was kind of…delicious.
She lay back, concentrating on the small tweaks and tugs on her nipples, feeling the corresponding tug between her legs. She was horny, she realised. She was so horny it was like a pleasurable headache. If she wasn’t terrified of taking things further, she’d have asked him to screw her, but instead she just licked and felt and enjoyed. At least until he stopped, removing the hand on her right breast. She bent forward and took the head of his cock in her mouth. It was as big as a fleshy golf ball and she bobbed as much as she could, twirling her tongue around the flared head.
“Fuck,” Noah groaned, but he settled on top of her again.
Nicole let a squeak of impatience escape her mouth and he laughed.
“You want me to tell you you’re a good girl for trying so hard?” Noah tugged her right nipple, wrapping her breasts around him again. “I’m not going to. I know you love this.”
He spat, the sound as ugly as what they were doing. She heard him slick his saliva along the base of his cock, felt him swipe it in the valley between her breasts. Heat swelled between her legs and she felt herself dampen as effectively as Noah had slicked her breasts. She moaned, dismayed with herself.
“What’s wrong?”
“You’re disgusting! You’re on top of me and you’re not even touching me and—”
“You like it?”
“No!”
So Steady: Silver Daughters Ink, Book Two (Silver Daughters Ink Book Two) Page 10