by Cora Lee
Maddie laughed. They had a rivalry in that sport that stretched back to their first Midwinter Fête as children, and this year was a tie-breaking year. “I’m afraid not.”
“Perhaps Thomas will take up the Mathison mantle on my behalf, then.” Kit winked at his brother. “Keep the tradition going.”
“I’ll do my best,” Thomas grinned.
The three of them played their assigned parts over the next few days: Kit remaining friendly but never alone with Maddie, Thomas becoming more attentive to her, taking her aside from time to time for a private conversation when their parents were about, and Maddie herself pretending she didn’t miss the closeness she’d had with Kit, even as she enjoyed spending more time with Thomas.
By the time the two families arrived at the Duke of Alston’s estate for the Midwinter Fête, it was becoming second nature for Maddie to take Thomas’s arm and walk with him as if they’d been courting for months.
“Where would you like to go first?” he asked, as their various family members scattered in different directions.
Maddie looked around at the booths and tents that stretched off into the distance. “That way.” She pointed to her left, where a booth sat with cakes decorating every horizontal surface. “I can smell the warm cinnamon from here. Perhaps they have Chelsea buns.”
“Excellent idea.”
They had only made it halfway to their destination, though, when they came upon a crying child. Dressed all in grey wool, he looked to be a boy of perhaps five years old with tears pouring down his cheeks.
Maddie knelt down in the snow, heedless of the cold that immediately began to soak into her own clothing. “Whatever is the matter?” she asked softly.
“I can’t find my brother,” the child wailed, rubbing his eyes.
Maddie tried to smile reassuringly, thumbing tears off his cheeks. “Maybe we can help you find him.”
She turned and shot a questioning look up at Thomas, who dropped to one knee beside her. “I’m certain we can. If I put you up on my shoulders, you’ll be taller than everyone here. I’d wager you’d be able to see your brother then.”
The boy turned wide eyes on Thomas. “Taller than everyone?”
Thomas nodded solemnly and Maddie felt her heart swell. Many men were awkward with children, but Thomas’s manner with the little boy was as easy as if they’d always been friends.
“Yes,” Thomas said. “Would you like to try?”
The boy sniffled, but nodded.
“Here, I’ll lift you up,” Maddie offered, reaching for the child as Thomas sank down onto his haunches. She scooped the boy up and hefted him onto Thomas’s shoulders, bracing him until Thomas had a firm hold on him.
Thomas rose to his feet slowly and turned to her. “Where should we start, do you think?”
She choked back a laugh. The boy had his little arms wrapped around the crown of Thomas’s head, and Thomas carried on as if the situation was perfectly normal. “Where was the last place you saw your brother?” she called up to the boy.
“By the toys,” he answered, knocking Thomas’s hat off and leaning down into his curly hair.
“By the toys,” Thomas echoed resolutely, scooping up his hat. “Let’s try there first.” He held his hat in one hand and reached out the other to Maddie, which she took with a grin she couldn’t smother.
Her grin did fade a bit after nearly thirty minutes of searching. But the child finally spotted his missing brother near the bonfire burning at the edge of the festivities. The brother, they discovered, had gone to procure food for both of them, confident that his youngest sibling was following along behind... until he’d turned to find the boy wasn’t behind him at all.
Thomas hoisted the child up and over his head, settling him down on the ground. “You stick close to your brother for the rest of the night, now,” he said, his tone serious but amiable.
“Yes sir.”
“But if you do lose him again, we’ll help you find him.”
The boy smiled brightly. “Thank you!”
He scurried off with his older brother, and Maddie clasped Thomas’s hand in both of hers. “That is possibly the sweetest thing I have ever seen.”
“The boy? He was rather adorable, wasn’t he?”
She laughed, leaning in to rest her head against his shoulder. She shouldn’t have with all the people swirling around them, but it was less scandalous than throwing her arms around him the way she wanted to.
“The pair of you,” she clarified. “You’re a natural with children.”
He smiled down at her for a long moment. “I do hope to have some of my own one day.”
And image popped into her head of Thomas leading a collection of redheaded children to a brook for a day of fishing, of a tender Thomas bending to instruct the little ones how to hold a rod, smiling over their heads at their unseen mother.
“You’ll make a marvellous father when the time comes,” she said, forcing the thought from her mind.
“I hope so.” He was quiet for a spell, adjusting his grip on her hands but never releasing them. Then, “Do you want children, Maddie?”
Children with curly auburn hair and blue eyes like their father? She gave herself a mental shake. “Erm, yes, I do. Someday.”
But, she reminded herself, not with Thomas. He had a life to return to that didn’t include her, and she had a future husband out there somewhere waiting to be found.
“Well, we still have some of the evening left to ourselves,” she said, forcing her mouth into a smile to cover the abrupt change in subject. “What should we do next?”
Chapter Four
Maddie spent the next two days trapped with too many people inside a house that felt too small. For the first time in her life, she wanted some time alone but absolutely none was forthcoming. Is this what it would be like as she grew older yet remained at home? Her parents’ presence becoming more and more confining? Her total dependence upon them flung in her face at every turn?
A break finally came when her parents and Mrs. Mathison took themselves off to bed early one night after dinner, leaving her alone with Kit and Thomas in the parlour.
“You know they’re all hoping I’ll go to bed, too,” Thomas said, glancing from Kit to Maddie.
“Then they will be sorely disappointed,” she returned with more hope in her voice than she’d intended to show. “Won’t they?”
Kit rose and stretched. “Do you think they’ll be disappointed if I go to bed? I spent the day climbing around on a roof attempting a repair, and all I want to do is sleep.”
“Go sleep,” Maddie said, shooing him out the door. “I want to hear all about the work you’ve been doing on the house, but it will keep until tomorrow.”
“You two can discuss the next stage of your plan without my interfering,” he grinned. “Good night.”
When he’d gone and shut the door behind him, Thomas stood and stretched as well.
“Are you going to leave me, too?” Maddie asked, unsure how she felt about the idea. She’d finally be alone if Thomas retired for the evening, but the idea no longer appealed to her.
“Never,” he replied with a small smile, seating himself on the floor before the fire. “Unless you want me to.”
She returned his smile from her place on the sofa, set at a right angle to the fireplace. “I can’t imagine ever wanting that.”
Maddie swore the expression on his face wavered into something darker, but it disappeared before she could properly identify the emotion behind it.
“Once upon a time, you would have done anything to get rid of me,” he chuckled. “The irritating little brother trailing along behind you and Kit.”
“You weren’t irritating. A little annoying on occasion,” she teased, leaning over the arm of the sofa, “especially with that old green cape you used to wear everywhere... even in the summertime. Where on earth did you find that thing, anyway?”
He laughed, kicking his long legs out before him. “It was in some disca
rded trunk in the attic, I think. I never found out who it had belonged to, but wearing it made me feel older — old enough to tag along after my big brother, anyway.”
“You’re not tagging after him anymore, though,” she said softly. “You’ve forged your own path in life while Kit goes on with his.”
“I’ve started on my path,” he amended. “I still have some way to go before I’ll feel secure on it.”
“Do you think you’ll ever feel secure? Truly secure?” she asked wistfully. What would it be like to have control over her own future the way a man did?
“I hope to.” He turned to look at her fully, raising one knee and resting an arm on it. “What about you?”
She planted an elbow on the sofa’s arm and dropped her chin into her hand. “I don’t know,” she replied, her words slow even as her mind whirled. The dimly lit room and his confession about the cape made her want to tell some of her own secrets. The idea was both frightening and mortifying at once, but Thomas would never laugh at her. Would he?
He reached out a hand to her, interrupting her thoughts. “You look cold, Maddie. Will you come sit by the fire with me?”
She rose from the sofa without hesitation, clasping his hand in hers as she seated herself on the floor beside him. The flames were still crackling merrily in the fireplace, throwing off heat that warmed her face and began to melt her fears.
“I am afraid that my path will never be secure unless I wed Kit,” she said hesitantly, keeping Thomas’s hand in hers and drawing strength from his touch. “I– I don’t want to, and he doesn’t want to be shackled with me. But there are times when I am sure that no one else will have me, that men use Kit as an excuse to ignore me.”
She couldn’t look up. If she saw derision in his eyes, or pity, or anything but complete acceptance she’d flee to her bedchamber and never come out.
His gentle voice broke through her dread. “No sane man would be looking for a reason to avoid you, Maddie. That I can swear to you.”
“Do you think so?” She managed to lift her head and meet his gaze, but only just. She’d never been so candid with another living person, and the fear of rejection hung heavily around her heart.
“I know so,” he said with conviction. “You’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, you’re the kindest person I know...” He brushed the fingers of his free hand across her cheek. “Any man would be lucky to call you his wife.”
Maddie’s heart fluttered and she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes for a moment to fully take in the sensation. “You are very good at this comforting business,” she replied with a little laugh.
“Is it working?”
“Maybe you should hold me again... just to make sure.”
It was the boldest thing she’d ever said to a gentleman, but at that moment she didn’t care. The only thing she wanted in the world was to be in Thomas’s arms. He obliged, wrapping his arms around her, and tugging her closer. It wasn’t enough, though. The way they were sitting made the embrace awkward and rather unsatisfying.
“This isn’t working...” she muttered.
“I have a better idea.” He stood and drew her to her feet, pulling her against his body and walking them toward the sofa. Before she could ask what he was doing, he dropped down onto the cushions and carried her down with him.
She let out a little yelp, then realised she’d settled in his lap. “Yes, this will do,” she sighed, her arms encircling his broad shoulders as his came around her body.
He rested his cheek against hers, murmuring, “Good.” Then his warm lips were at her ear. “Maddie, may I kiss you?”
Her heart was pounding and her skin radiated heat that had nothing to do with the fireplace. She’d never been kissed before, but she nodded her head faintly, gathering her courage. “I wish you would.”
He brushed some loose hair from her face as she closed her eyes again, delighting in the tickling softness of his touch, the scent of leather-bound books that clung to his fingers. She sighed again and his mouth came down over hers, capturing her bottom lip in a caress unlike any she’d felt before.
All too soon he released her, but when he drew back she went forward. “Thomas,” she breathed. “May I kiss you?”
“You may kiss me all night if you want to,” he replied in a husky voice.
Feelings of triumph, of need, and of emotions she couldn’t readily identify, rushed through her. Whatever was happening, she wanted more.
Maddie leaned in. “An excellent idea.”
<<<
Thomas was fairly floating when he rode out to the old house with Kit the next day. He hadn’t spent the whole night kissing Maddie — they had somehow managed to part before midnight — but he’d finally had her alone, in his arms.
And she’d kissed him back. Thoroughly.
“I take it your evening went well,” Kit grinned once they were a safe distance away from their hosts.
“Is it so obvious?”
Kit laughed. “Your feet have barely touched the floor since you woke this morning.”
“Do you think mother noticed? Or Maddie’s parents?” Thomas asked. They were supposed to think he was courting Maddie, of course, but he wasn’t ready to declare his feelings to anyone else just yet. He’d only communicated them to Maddie herself in kisses instead of concrete promises, and only a handful of hours earlier.
“Mother likely did, but she may not attribute your cheerfulness to Maddie specifically. Mrs. Hayward was too busy asking me if I would leave a room in the house untouched for my wife to decorate as she pleased.”
Thomas couldn’t help but roll his eyes, until they were stopped midway by a frightening thought. “You don’t think they’re fortune hunting, do you?” Kit’s inheritance wasn’t large, particularly when compared to more aristocratic estates, but it would provide him and his future family a comfortable existence. And that was more than Thomas could say about himself.
“If they were, they’d have tried to convince Maddie to throw me over and set her cap for Sir Anthony at the assembly.” Kit paused, glancing over at Thomas. “She doesn’t need permission to marry, brother. If someone were to ask for her hand, the decision would be hers alone.”
“But would she go against her parents’ wishes?”
“Have you asked her?”
Thomas hadn’t asked Maddie anything last night other than, “Do you like that?” The subject of a possible future together hadn’t come up. “No.”
“Does she know how you feel about her?” Kit prompted.
She had to know he no longer considered her only a friend, but Thomas also hadn’t mentioned the word love last night, nor any of its kin. “I don’t know how to tell her.”
That was partially true. Finding the right words to declare a love he’d felt for so long would be no easy task. But what if she was still intent on finding a suitor who wasn’t a Mathison? What if she loved him in return, but was swept off her feet by another man while Thomas saved up his money?
“What if you just said, ‘I care for you’?”
They turned in to the drive at the old house and trotted the horses to the newly repaired stable. Could it be that simple?
“What if she doesn’t return my feelings?”
Kit jumped down from his horse. “What if she does?”
What if she does?
The thought rolled around in Thomas’s head all morning as his hands performed whatever job Kit set them to. By the time they set out for the Hayward house, Thomas had come up with a plan. Rather than walking through the front door and proclaiming his love for Maddie upon his return, he decided on a smaller first step. He would find a few moments alone with her and ask if she would be willing to make their courtship real, perhaps on a trial basis, just for the remainder of his stay in Kent. If she said no, he would put the pieces of his heart back together and play her beau for a few more weeks, then retreat to Scotland and nurse his pain alone.
But if she said yes…
“You’r
e smiling again, brother.”
If she said yes, there would be more walks in the snow and kisses by the firelight. If she said yes, they would make new memories together.
“Don’t forget we promised to pick up the post,” Thomas called as Kit’s horse danced away from his on the frozen road. Perhaps he could find a small gift for Maddie while they were in the village, as well. Some ribbon for her hair? The book of poetry she’d mentioned at the fête?
He shopped while Kit went to the post office, settling on a bottle of scent, smaller than he’d have liked it to be but from the heart all the same. He’d chosen one distilled from roses, and also had happily handed over the last of his coin for what had to be the only rose in bloom in the dead of winter. The proprietor of the shop had a tiny hothouse in which she grew the flowers used to make the scent she sold, and she’d had a single blossom left. It was pink not red, but Thomas didn’t quibble over that small detail. When they came back in season — and he’d saved a bit of money again — he would buy her claret-coloured roses every day if she wanted them.
Thomas and Kit returned to the Haywards’ home, flushed with cold and in Thomas’s case, anticipation.
“Ah, there you are,” Mr. Hayward greeted them when they came through the front door. “We’d begun to wonder if you’d been waylaid at the old house.”
Thomas felt Kit’s elbow poke his ribs before he saw it, and forced a smile. No need to tip his hand before he spoke to Maddie herself. “We stayed in the village a bit longer than we’d planned, sir.”
“But we did remember to pick up your post,” Kit chimed in, ignoring the glare Thomas shot his way.
Kit handed over the bundle of letters and began divesting himself of his outerwear, handing his greatcoat over to the maid-of-all-work to be dried before a fire. Thomas, conscious of the bottle and blossom tucked inside his pocket, elected to keep his coat, and carefully slung it over one arm as he made for the staircase and his bedchamber.
“Thomas, wait a moment,” Mr. Hayworth called after him. “There’s a letter here for you.”