“I brought your favorites.” She followed me to the table, but I stood until she sat down. This palace etiquette was a piece of cake.
Sure enough, there was a stack of thickly buttered laver bread, a veritable basin of the rich, miso-esque soup that I’d taken a liking to, and a platter of opal peaches for my delectation and delight, sliced and fanned out into the shape of a pufferfish—the skins carved to look like spines. There were other fruits, too, all carved up to resemble some sea creature or another: squids, krakens, seahorses, whales, yadda, yadda, yadda.
I took a sliver of peach as Kaya poured me a cup of coffee. Well, the Atlantean equivalent—a sweet, reddish-brown liquid that tasted like bonfires. A good kind of bonfire, perfect for the sort of autumn I doubted Atlantis had.
Okay, Finch… you can do this. Crack this egg wide open. Get some answers.
“How was your morning?” I figured I’d start with small talk and work upward.
“Very pleasant, actually.” Kaya closed her hands around her cup. “I watched the dawn rise over the city and spent some time in my father’s company.”
I pulled a face. “Has he gotten over the shock yet?”
“I believe he is beginning to.” She smiled that strange, conspiratorial smile I’d seen a few times these past few days. “And how was your morning?”
“Uneventful,” I replied. “I did a bit of staring, had a little walk around the room, did some more staring, did some more walking, then finished off with—oh, more staring.”
Kaya laughed. “This is temporary, I assure you. When we are wed, you will be free to wander where you please.”
“You know, it’s funny you should bring that up.” This was my segue.
“Wandering where you please?” She sipped from her cup, peering at me over the rim.
“No, not that part. The wedding part.” I sucked air through my teeth. “I was hoping you might be ready to tell me why you chose me. I mean, you weren’t sizing me up as a future husband when I arrived here, so what changed? You keep saying it has to do with Chaos, but if you want me to get on board with this, then you need to give me more than that. Help me understand.”
Kaya sat back in the chair. “There is nothing more for me to tell you that I have not already said. You are powerful, with an impeccable lineage and an equilibrium of Light and Darkness.”
“How do you know that?” I almost dropped my sliver of peach.
“Melody might have mentioned it. Or was it Erebus? I forget. Nevertheless, that balance, combined with the rest of your attributes, makes you ideal for the role of my consort. Indeed, it makes you unique, which I wholeheartedly admire.” She paused. “If you are concerned for my personal feelings, or you still feel some pain regarding this union, you need not. As I said before, once we are under the love spell, it will not matter if we do not have genuine feelings for one another.”
“You said you wouldn’t make me do that.” I knew I was supposed to be tiptoeing on eggshells around Kaya, but I couldn’t help blurting it out.
She lowered her gaze. “I will not continue on this carousel of repetition, Finch. You are simply tormenting yourself, attempting to resist this union, when its entire purpose is to make Atlantis greater than ever before. We shall see the dawn of a new era, and I, for one, cannot wait.”
Well, that made one of us.
Seventeen
Finch
I’d never missed comics and novels and trash TV more in my life. Sure, I had all these ideas about how to get Erebus and Kaya back together—locking them in a room until they worked it out, staging an accidental meeting in the gardens with an oh-so-convenient dinner table set up nearby with rose petals and fizz on tap, or just smacking their heads together until I knocked some sense into them, and so on and so forth—but I couldn’t do much from here. And there was literally nothing to do except shuffle around and try not to get cabin fever.
A knock at the door gave me a welcome reprieve. I waited for the visitor to enter, hoping it might be Melody with more news. Or, you know… Ryann. But I hadn’t seen any pigs flying over Atlantis this morning, so that seemed unlikely.
I kept waiting, but nobody entered.
Huh… weird.
Another knock went off like a gunshot. But, again, the door stayed closed and nobody came in. One knock could’ve been an accident. Two knocks could have been a less likely accident, but after the third and fourth knocks came, I knew it wasn’t. Someone wanted me to come to the door. And I was so bored and restless, I didn’t really care who might be on the other side. It wasn’t as if anyone could get in, with a fortress of wards keeping me in and everyone else out.
I walked over and opened the door. Erebus stood outside. He’d put the guard in a sleeper hold again and had clearly used the guy’s arm to make those knocks. At least, I guessed he had, since the guard lay unconscious on the floor.
“You really have to stop doing that if you want to be discreet,” I said, sticking to my side of the forcefield. I was past being surprised by his unexpected appearances.
“It is the only way to ensure he doesn’t eavesdrop.” Erebus put out his hand to lean against the doorframe, only to visibly remember the hexes. He yanked his hand away a split second before touching the frame and folded his arms awkwardly across his chest instead.
I smiled coldly. “Well, what do you have to say? If you’re going to propose, I should warn you, I’ve got a case of proposal fatigue. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t immediately jump for joy.”
“Must we always snipe at one another?” He huffed out a sigh, his shoulders slumping.
“You set the tone.” I stood my ground. Nothing good ever came of my encounters with him. If he was sick of bantering with me, that was his problem.
“I am weary. Do you mind if I sit?” Now that did surprise me. He didn’t wait for my reply. He took a few steps back and slid down the wall, his legs sticking out in front of him like he was a forgotten teddy bear.
I stared at him with curiosity. “You’re weary? Since when does a Child of Chaos get weary?”
“Since I took possession of a body.” He massaged his thighs with his thumbs, which made me grimace involuntarily. But his words had me intrigued.
“Human life starting to kick your ass?” I sat cross-legged in front of the open door.
He laughed feebly. “I do not care for your coarse phrasing, but yes—it is starting to kick my ass. I never thought I would long for my original form, considering the mayhem it caused when I was last here.”
“You know, you could just tell Kaya about Lux. Tell her that your wife killed Bellerophon, then she’ll have one less thing to hate you for. Well, actually, you’d be replacing one thing with another, but at least she wouldn’t be able to pin the dead guy on you anymore.”
“You appear to be enjoying this,” Erebus retorted.
I shrugged. “I have no idea what you mean.”
“I suppose I deserve your disdain.” Erebus hit me with another shocker. “You thought I would release you, but I did not. If it makes you feel any better, I wish I had released you from my service back on Eris Island, before you were pulled down here with me.”
“Oh, stop it.” I acted coy, with a touch of melodrama. I even swiped my hand through the air. “You’re just saying that because your girl wants me instead of you.”
“Perhaps I deserve that, too.” Erebus dropped his chin to his chest in a very uncharacteristic gesture. “I should have learned by now that chicanery will get me nowhere. And now… I feel as though I am losing her, Finch. No, it is more than that. I feel as though I am losing both of them.”
“Both of them?” This conversation was getting more interesting by the second.
“Lux and Kaya,” he replied.
I snorted. “No offense, but I think you lost Lux the moment you decided to trade her in for a semi-mortal incubator.”
“I know.” His face contorted in pain. “You may not believe me, Finch, but coming here does not mean I no longer
love my wife. I do love Lux, but our union is… a complex matter. It is timeless. It will traverse centuries to come, as it has traversed centuries that have passed. Kaya will one day die, and I will return to my marriage. But until then, I want to spend Kaya’s life with her, and with our child or our children. I do not know if we will have more than one. Have you never loved more than one person at once?”
I looked away, admiring a small stain on the wall. “Not the way you’re talking about.”
My heart would always hold a candle for Adley. She’d been my first real love, and it wasn’t possible to forget her or pretend I’d never loved her. I had, and it’d killed her. But the love I still felt for her was entirely separate from my love for Ryann. She was my present, and hopefully my future. Adley was my past. Both had places in my heart, but they weren’t jostling for top position. Ryann had that.
“I cannot lose Kaya, Finch. I cannot lose the hope of having a child with her. It is not merely about finding a suitable incubator, as you so crudely put it. I… truly love Kaya, as I truly love Lux. But, circumstances being what they are, only Kaya can be the mother of my child.” He hissed out a breath, exasperated. “I… am lonely, Finch.”
“Huh?” My eyes bugged.
“I have lived in Chaos’s exile, in my otherworld, for thousands of years. Yes, Lux makes her visits, and I visit her. But I am not well liked among my brothers and sisters—the other Children of Chaos. I am isolated, no doubt through my own actions.” He shook his head slowly. “I should not even say this to someone like you, but if I do not alleviate this burden, I fear it may consume me. I have longed for company—a friend, a child, an individual—who is always near, who can chase the solitude away.”
I made a show of being offended. “And here I was, thinking I was that guy.”
“Don’t be obtuse, Finch.”
“Sorry.”
“I must remedy this ache in my chest. I must fulfill this desire for a child of my own. I do not want to live in eternal loneliness any longer.” He paused. “But I do not know how to convince Kaya that I have changed, and that I only wish to love her, and be close to her, and to have a child with her.”
You mean, you don’t know how to say you’re sorry. I saw right through him. He was proud as a peacock and twice as stupid. He’d come here to ask for my help, but he didn’t know how to do that, either. It would’ve meant lowering himself. Asking his slave for help? Pfft, I bet he’d walked up to this door twenty times before he’d actually knocked, trying to work up the courage like a freshman on his first date.
Oh, I was going to enjoy this.
“Erebus, Erebus, Erebus.” I paused for dramatic effect. “Are you asking for my help?”
“What?” he sputtered.
I held up my hands. “Before you start protesting and getting all sensitive, I’m happy to help. I just want to hear you say it.”
“I… would not mind some advice. I do not know humans as well as I thought, but you have an easy manner with almost everyone you encounter. Including Kaya. I would be… interested to hear your perspective.” It was the closest thing to a cry for help I was going to get.
“Fine, I’ll give you some advice. But first, one more question.” Another thought nagged the back of my mind.
His eyes narrowed. “What question?”
“Why are you confiding in me?”
A stilted silence stretched between us. No doubt he was trying to find a suitably superior answer. One that didn’t make him look like the weaker party.
A few moments later, he cleared his throat. “Because you showed me something, at the engagement dinner, that I had chosen to ignore this past year, albeit subconsciously.”
“And what might that be?” I batted my lashes at him.
“Loyalty.”
I smiled. My play had worked. “Just think, if I had called you out, I’d have missed the opportunity to witness the great and powerful Erebus asking for my help. Sorry, advice,” I hastened to add.
“Don’t push it, Finch.” Erebus looked sullen.
“Not pushing it.” I mustered an expression of obedience. “Now, if you want to win Kaya back, you’re going to have to be the kind of guy she wants to be with. Right now, you’re not.”
His scowl deepened. “I know that, Finch. Tell me something new.”
“I’m getting to that, and I’ll clam up altogether if you keep interrupting me.” I tutted, waiting for him to come back at me with a searing retort. But he didn’t. He sat there, like a teddy bear, apparently eager to listen. “For starters, you need to stop being so aloof. The ladies don’t like aloof. It’s confusing and stupid. You need to soften up and give it the warm and fuzzies. Compliment her, do little things for her she won’t expect, make romantic gestures without being over the top. Talk to her about the things she’s interested in and listen to what she says. Talk to her about her mother. Talk to her about her fears and worries, and try to comfort her without trying to fix her problems for her. Oh, and try to be normal. Don’t harp on about the Child of Chaos thing. Act like a guy who’s totally in love, instead of a cosmic being who thinks he’s owed something. You can’t pick up where you left off, so you have to start fresh. Tell her that. Ask for a blank slate and explain the last incident as much as you can. Go at her pace. Don’t try and push her, because if you overwhelm her, she’ll run.”
Erebus smiled. “You really are full of surprises, Finch. I knew I could rely on you for a human perspective, and though some of what you’ve said is a touch complicated, I will take your words into consideration.” He nodded to himself. “Act like an ordinary guy. Start fresh. Compliments. Romantic gestures.”
“Do you want me to write it down?” I arched an eyebrow and got a withering look in return.
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Well then, I’ll expect an invite to the wedding.” I folded my hands in my lap, my knees starting to hurt from being crossed. Yeah, I really had been borrowing Nash’s form too often, even though it’d actually only been a couple of occasions. I’d have silver hair soon, if I wasn’t careful.
Honestly, this entire scenario seemed like a weird trip. Perhaps Kaya had slipped something into my Atlantean coffee. A week ago, Erebus tried to have me killed by assassins. And now we were sitting across from each other like girls at a slumber party, exchanging secrets and talking about our crushes. Well, his crushes.
But it made me nervous. I’d saved Erebus’s ass and given him another chance to win Kaya back, but what if he turned on me again?
Erebus twiddled his thumbs. “Actually, there was something more I wanted to discuss with you. We touched upon it a moment ago, but I would like to speak of it in more depth.”
“Might as well ask me now, while I’m in full fountain-of-knowledge mode.” My stomach clenched, anxious about what he might say.
“It is difficult to admit it, but… I have come to realize that Davin played me for a fool,” he said quietly, clicking the bones in his neck.
I chuckled bitterly. “Now it’s your turn to tell me something I don’t know. I told you he’d trick you again, but you joined forces with him anyway. And what did it get you, huh? Your ‘love’ almost got a dagger in the heart. You’re welcome, by the way.” After all, I had saved her and uncovered Davin’s involvement.
“It is more than the murder attempt,” Erebus went on. “It is worse than that, in truth.”
“Worse than trying to kill the woman you’re crazy about? Sorry, that doesn’t compute.” I waited for an explanation.
Erebus sighed. “What I mean to say is, it is worse on a personal level.” He fidgeted some more, like he didn’t want to say what he was about to say. “At some point—I do not know when—Davin… performed some kind of spell that has sealed me deeper into this body. I am, for all intents and purposes, powerless.”
“Huh?” I gasped. “What does that even mean?”
“Whatever this spell may be, it has sealed my Chaos beyond the boundaries of my reach. I have trie
d in vain, but I cannot figure out how to break it. I am… more human than I have ever been, and I do not know how to fix it.” He sounded panicked, which panicked me. The implications were huge—Erebus no longer had the Child of Chaos card to flash around, not in any useful sense. It was no more than an empty title, if he couldn’t get to his well of power.
Oh no… Another implication smashed into me like a wrecking ball. “I thought we were done with him. I thought he’d be buried deep in that Atlantean prison and we’d never have to see his smarmy face again.”
“As did I, but it appears you have come to the same conclusion I have,” Erebus said stiffly.
“Davin is the only one who can break this spell on you, right?” I hated saying it out loud. It made it seem too real.
He nodded reluctantly. “It would seem so, but I cannot enter the prison, and I certainly cannot be seen conversing with him after his arrest. Kaya will suspect me, and it will only push her farther away.”
“Is this you asking for my help again?” I needed to hear it in simple terms.
“I suppose it is.” He lowered his gaze, his mouth twisting in distaste. It had to be burning him up inside that he’d been forced to come to my door—literally—and humbly ask for my aid. And I had only myself to blame. My actions on the engagement evening had clearly made him believe he could drag me into yet another mission on his behalf. Plus, since I was technically still his servant, I couldn’t exactly say no. I dragged my hand down my face.
“Okay, you focus on Kaya. She’s the most important thing right now. And, like you say, if you suddenly start visiting known criminals, you might as well chuck yourself into the ocean. You can still pass as a magical, and we need to keep it that way. But you have to be straight with me—how much Chaos do you actually have at your disposal?”
He shrugged. “A sliver. Enough to maintain appearances.”
“Then maintain appearances. Stick to charming Kaya and winning her back, because I sure as hell don’t want to marry her. No offense, she’s an incredible woman, but she’s not the one for me.”
Harley Merlin 15: Finch Merlin and the Everlasting Vow Page 16