by Ali Carter
‘These are simply wonderful,’ said Zoe, pulling a strand of hair from her ponytail and twiddling it between her fingers.
‘Thanks.’
‘You went miles yesterday,’ I said, but he didn’t react.
Interior pictures of the house were now crossing the screen. ‘I like these a lot,’ said Zoe. ‘However, although we’re happy to share what’s personal to us with residents, I don’t want the inside of the house splashed about online. Would you agree?’
‘Yes, I think I do.’
Louis nodded.
‘That reminds me, Susie, do you think we should include the Highland cows or will they put people off?’
‘No, definitely include them. It’s a real coup to have them here.’
‘Oh look. It is pretty, isn’t it?’ said Zoe, admiring a photograph of Ewen’s cottage. ‘Whoever thought to put in ground-level windows certainly had an eye for aesthetics.’ Louis zoomed in.
‘But, once again,’ said Zoe, ‘I don’t think we should include this.’
‘No,’ agreed Louis. ‘Susie, what are you looking at?’
‘There.’ I pointed at the photograph; the front wheel of Ewen’s van was reflected in one of the cottage windows. ‘I think there’s blood on his wheel arch.’
‘Really?’ said Zoe.
‘In the reflection, see?’
‘Zoom in more please, Louis.’
‘I’m afraid that’s not possible.’
She took it verbatim and I wasn’t going to go against him, although I thought it a bit odd that he wouldn’t.
‘I bet my brother-in-law killed the roe deer,’ said Zoe, jumping to the same conclusion as me.
‘He did,’ said Louis.
She looked shocked.
‘I’m only joking. I have no idea who ran into it.’
I stared at Louis; how did he know a deer had been run over? He wasn’t around when Zoe had told me.
‘Haggis,’ yelped Zoe; he’d appeared on the screen. ‘We have to include that. Louis, I think you should start putting our choices into a designated folder.’ She touched Louis’ hand which was in control of the mouse.
‘Susie?’ Zoe sounded concerned. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Oh yes, I was just thinking about something. I’m fine, thanks.’
‘Maybe you’d like a cup of tea?’
‘I’m happy to wait until later unless you’d like me to get you one?’
‘Louis?’ said Zoe.
‘Yes please.’
‘Make that two and do get one for yourself, Susie.’
I entered the kitchen and Mhàiri pulled her hands out of the sink.
‘Susie,’ she said, wiping off the soap suds. ‘I wondered how long it would take yous to come and tell me about last night.’ Her eyes were very big and very round.
‘It was good fun.’
‘Aye. Ne doot. But how about the lady’s jewels?’
Oh crumbs. What am I going to say now?
‘She wasn’t wearing anything special.’
Mhàiri’s face fell. Thinking on my feet and trying to put her off the scent altogether, I said, ‘Jane told me she’s going to a black-tie do in London straight after here so maybe that’s what they’re for.’
Eeeek. I’ve just told a complete lie to protect a thief. I really am going to have to go to confession next week.
‘So yous never saw them?’
‘No. But I can imagine them.’
‘Oh good,’ Mhàiri smiled. ‘Thanks to me?’
‘Yes, thanks to you.’
‘Whit is it yous want, Susie?’
‘I came to make three cups of tea.’
‘I’ll do it for yous, I just had the kettle on the boil. Yous get a wee jug of milk and a tray ready.’
When tea was made I whisked up the tray and managed to spill milk everywhere.
‘Dinne cry,’ she joked, but little did she know she wasn’t far from the truth.
I picked up a cloth and Mhàiri refilled the jug.
‘Yous’ll be needing your bed after this week.’
‘I certainly will,’ I said and left the kitchen.
As soon as they saw me Louis and Zoe immediately stopped talking.
‘Tea,’ I announced and handed them both a cup.
‘Thanks, Susie,’ said Zoe and then, catching me looking at a photograph of ravens on the screen, she forced Louis’ hand and he flicked up the next photo.
‘There are a lot of those birds round here,’ I said.
Zoe looked at Louis who looked at me.
‘What’s going on?’
Louis waited for Zoe to answer, but she didn’t.
‘We,’ he said, enjoying the intimacy of the remark, ‘reckon someone’s let a bunch loose.’
‘Alec Ronaldsay,’ shot off my tongue.
‘You know him?’ There was accusation in Zoe’s voice.
Louis looked terribly guilty.
‘No, I just know he lives nearby.’
‘And that he breeds ravens?’
‘Yes, exactly. I was putting two and two together.’
‘Weren’t we all.’ She let out a sigh.
‘Do you think it’s a terrible mistake?’
‘He could jolly well come and apologise if so.’
‘I can’t imagine why else they’d be swarming,’ said Louis.
‘Heaven knows,’ said Zoe. ‘I don’t like to think about it.’
End of conversation.
‘Susie, will you flick through the folder of photos we’ve chosen and tell us if you think anything’s missing?’
‘Of course.’
Zoe and I swapped seats and Louis, the rascal, slipped his hand under the table and onto my thigh.
‘Your photographs are good,’ I smiled.
‘I know.’
‘Any missing?’ said Zoe.
‘You could have a couple more to sum up Scotland.’
‘Such as?’ Louis sounded a little touchy.
‘Oh, I don’t know, the ceilidh?’
‘But then everyone might expect it,’ said Zoe, ‘…and it’s inside the house.’
‘I know what,’ I looked at Louis, ‘your photograph of heather.’
‘Heather?’ said Zoe.
‘Yes.’ I was excited. ‘I saw it the other night.’
Louis reddened and Zoe shot him a look. For some reason he wasn’t taking me up on my suggestion. I honestly think he was embarrassed.
‘Come on,’ I elbowed him in the side, ‘you could use it as the background for the whole site.’
‘I’m not sure about that.’ Zoe’s voice was firm.
‘Me neither,’ said Louis.
Their reaction was nonsense. A background of heather is a great idea. Zoe had asked for my advice and now she’s agreeing with Louis, not me.
‘Why not?’ Regrettably I sounded cross. But I was hurt.
‘Too much of a cliché,’ said Louis.
‘Yes,’ nodded Zoe, ‘we must think of something better than that.’
Felicity’s head came around the door. ‘Susie. There you are. I’m having a nightmare.’
I jumped up, relieved to have an excuse to leave these two. I didn’t like them conspiring against me.
‘I’m struggling again,’ mumbled Felicity as we left the room.
Hard work empties the stomach and the rush to tuck into tea proved how much everyone had put into their pictures this afternoon.
Hot buttered crumpets were devoured, tea was drunk and Zoe, who asked, ‘Oh do please let us look at all your work,’ got her way. ‘Fergus and I will give you a moment or two to lay it out over the music room floor.’
‘I’m not going next to you.’ Rupert pointed at Minty. ‘It would only make me look even less talented than I am.’
‘Go next to Jane,’ said Shane, thankfully under his breath.
‘Don’t worry,’ I said, ‘there’s enough space for large gaps between everyone. Hey, Lianne,’ she was struggling to carry everything to the far corner of the ro
om, ‘why don’t you go here?’
‘I was going to do a performance piece and I was thinking there’d be room up there for it.’
‘Great,’ I smiled full of joy. This was a welcome addition to the mix. ‘Do you need any props?’
‘Nah. Improvisation’s more my thing.’
Zoe and Fergus came in and gazed at the work. ‘What a marvellous result,’ said Fergus, grinning at his wife.
‘Yes, a huge achievement,’ she replied with a hint of smugness between her lips, and I couldn’t help thinking, there’s still fourteen hours for it all to fall apart.
‘What a success,’ said Rupert, marching towards them.
‘There’s certainly a lot of work here,’ said Zoe, evidently tiring of his manner.
Felicity then did what he should have done. ‘Thank you very much. This has been a wonderful opportunity.’
Zoe grinned from ear to ear. ‘I’m so pleased it’s worked.’
‘Didn’t we do well,’ said Rupert. ‘What fun it’s been to take up a new hobby. Susie,’ he called out, ‘you are lucky to be an artist.’
I feigned a smile. Art for me is not a choice. I have to do it. My soul thrives with creativity and my character fades without it. If I could go out there and get an office job, be well paid and have regular holidays – I would. How much easier a lack of vocation seems. But no. I’m made up of dreams, ideas, emotions and anxiety, all of which breathe through my art. If I didn’t release them through my practice, my life would be meaningless. I’d quite possibly topple off the edge. Art gives me equilibrium (most of the time). By doing what I do each day, it helps me make sense of my being. I have a reason to be on this earth: to create. I doubt I’d exist any other way. Art is my life. Not some sort of permanent holiday dabbling in mediums, materials and colours. Rupert may have had ‘fun’ this week but being an artist full-time is far from this.
Everyone was tottering around the music room sniffing each other’s personal pieces. Rather similar to dogs in a New York poop-park I thought. Some accepting each other – ‘You have an interest in trees too?’ said Fergus to Giles – and others rejecting one another – ‘Video art is a waste of time.’
‘Look at her,’ said Minty.
Lianne was front-crawling her way into the room, arms going like the clappers as she headed towards the far corner.
‘Oh no,’ said Shane, ‘it’s the unidentifiable creature piece.’
She changed direction, now swimming towards him. Shane started darting from side to side. Lianne, unable to grab him, gave up and melted onto the ground instead. Then slowly, ever so slowly, she stretched out her hands and began dragging her voluptuous body across the floor.
‘She’ll be getting terribly dirty down there,’ said Felicity, but nobody flinched. We were all witnessing something quite special.
Lianne reached the corner of the room and as she began to pull herself upright against the wall her body contorted as if she was physically stuck to it. Finally standing tall she flicked her long black hair over her face and let out the most unearthly wail.
Felicity’s index fingers shot into her ears and Louis’ hands erupted in applause. Giles, Shane and Fergus followed his lead. Zoe, Jane and Minty were rather slower on the uptake. I stood back and laughed inside. Lianne had successfully divided the room.
Zoe grasped Fergus’s hand. ‘Let’s complete our circuit. We must look at everyone’s work.’
‘We must,’ said Fergus and round they went. Nodding and smiling and dishing out compliments. Taking their time and saying all the right things.
‘Well done, Susie,’ came Zoe’s congratulations as they headed for the door.
I smiled and waited for them both to leave.
‘Come round, come round, everyone, don’t pack up your work just yet.’
‘But I’d like a bath,’ said Jane.
‘It won’t take long. I was just thinking maybe it would be kind if you all gave Fergus and Zoe one of your pieces from the week?’
‘What a nice idea,’ said Lianne. ‘I’ll give them my doodle of the garden.’
‘And I painted the house for Fergus,’ claimed Shane.
‘I can’t think they’d want one of mine,’ said Felicity.
‘And I’m not giving any away,’ said Jane.
‘Everything I did is for my coursework,’ said Minty. ‘Isn’t yours, Giles?’
‘Good point, same goes for me.’
‘I’m in Felicity’s boat,’ said Rupert.
‘Me too,’ agreed Louis.
The less you’ve got, the more you give, was ringing in my ears as everyone other than Shane and Lianne left my side.
‘As you both won sponsored places here I think it is a particularly nice touch giving away one of your pictures, that’s if you really mean it?’
‘Jees yeah,’ said Lianne. ‘I’d like to do that.’
‘Me too,’ said Shane, ‘but you can give it to them, Miss.’
They both looked terribly nervous.
‘No, you must.’
‘Now?’
‘Before dinner would be a good time.’
‘Okay.’
I smiled and said, ‘Honestly, Fergus and Zoe will be thrilled.’
I gathered up my equipment, accepted Louis’ offer to carry the quilt, and together we dumped it all in my car.
‘You’ve got a long journey tomorrow,’ he said as I reached to shut the boot.
‘No longer than my one here.’
‘Touché.’ He jerked his head back sharply.
I was annoyed, and even more so when he grasped hold of my right arm and accused me of being off with him today.
‘Sorry,’ I relaxed. ‘I didn’t mean to be. I’m tired.’
‘That it?’ He let go.
‘Yes.’
‘So there’s no problem.’
‘Between us?’
‘Yes, between us?’
‘Not at all.’
He leant in to me and I accepted his hug. I had to, although I didn’t really want to – news of his girlfriend had put me off any more frolicking together. Not to mention seeing Toby, whose charming manner and handsome face had set the bar high. And although Louis had rival looks, he was going to have to stop cheating before I let him cross the line.
‘Bath time for me,’ I said, pulling away.
‘Together?’
‘You should be so lucky,’ I smirked and raced him up the front steps and into the house.
My suitcase is in the centre of the room, all packed and ready to go. One final night to get through, then I’ll be off, heading south, back to Sussex. Home is on the horizon and I can hardly wait.
Tonight I must make it into the locked wing. It’s my last chance to have a look for myself. I hate to think two Landseers are copies. It makes me so upset for Fergus and Zoe. But if they are, I’m mad keen to see if I can work it out. I set my alarm for 2.30am. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night. Check no one’s around and sneak into the south-east wing.
How ironic it is: if Zoe had got her way and the pictures weren’t going on loan, the Muchtons would remain blissfully unaware. Fergus seems to be coping well, though. Taking the news in his stride. Not allowing himself to entertain the notion before Jamie Tumbleton-Smith has been. Zoe is lucky to have a calm husband. What a good dad he’s going to make, only drawing conclusions about things precious to him when there’s undeniable proof.
I bounced off my bed and headed downstairs. It was dinner time. Haggis was on his back outside the dining-room door. I rubbed his tummy with my foot and sent him roly-polying down the corridor baring his teeth in a grin. Moments like this make me think I’d like a pet of my own. But no, I travel too much, it’d be unfair.
‘Now, Zoe, darling, have you explained about breakfast?’ Fergus leant into the table as if it might help carry his voice to his wife at the other end.
‘Yes,’ she smiled. ‘In here from seven, and Donald will be leaving at eight.’
‘Good, good.’
Shane was on my right, teasing Lianne about what we were eating. ‘It’s lambs’ bollocks.’
‘Nah.’
‘Pigs’ brains.’
‘Disgusting.’
‘I bet you can’t guess what it is,’ I said.
‘Yeah, Shane. Tell us what it is if you’re so clever.’
He looked at me and Giles shouted, ‘Venison,’ across the table.
‘He’s right,’ I said. It was probably the road kill.
‘I can’t believe you’ve all been tucking in not knowing what you’re eating?’.
‘I knew,’ boasted Shane. ‘I was just keeping quiet.’
‘Yeah right,’ said Lianne. ‘It is good, though.’
Rupert leant across Felicity, who was on Fergus’s left, and asked him where the name Muchton came from. I tuned in to hear the answer.
‘It originates from the Norman French, early days of the Auld Alliance and all that.’
‘It’s very unusual. I haven’t come across it before.’
‘Our family’s name is Hewson. Maybe you’ve heard of that?’ said Fergus.
‘Yes.’ Rupert nodded vigorously. ‘I think I might have.’
‘On the subject of family names, I received the most extraordinary email today. Internet hackers are getting better and better.’
‘Poor you,’ I said, gripped. I like a hacking story, they can be so clever. Felicity was all beady eyed too.
‘I’m wise enough to know better. It’s other people I feel sorry for.’
‘What was it?’ said Rupert. ‘I’d better make Jules aware. She’s not always certain what’s spam and what’s not.’
‘No need to worry,’ reassured Fergus. ‘I must have been a well-thought-out target. It came through our shooting syndicate website with the subject line “Muchtons of Auchen Laggan Tosh”. Not something your wife will receive, I’m sure.’
‘That’s not hacking,’ said Minty. ‘It’s spam.’
‘Spam or hacking, all the same to me.’
‘What did it say?’ Felicity was giddy with anticipation.
‘It began along the lines of how pleased they were to have re-established the Hewson family connection and how they hope to come poultry shooting here someday and whether we offer a discount for family. As if one would fall for that.’