by Jaci Burton
Mama Diane shook her head. "You handled this whole situation poorly, Barrett. I'd like you to leave now, while I have a few more words with Drake."
He'd never once been asked to leave Mama Diane's house. He felt like someone had shot a hole in his heart.
For more reasons than one.
With a short nod, he walked inside, then out the front door, feeling like he'd just lost an entire family of people he loved.
And the woman he loved right along with them.
Thirty-Five
Barrett went home, but he didn't feel settled. He needed to talk to Harmony.
He called her, but she didn't answer. He texted her, but she didn't answer his texts, either.
No way was he going to leave town tomorrow without seeing her, so he got in his SUV and drove over to her town house. When he knocked at the door, Alyssa answered.
"She doesn't want to talk to you right now, Barrett."
He inhaled, then let it out. "I just need five minutes."
Alyssa opened her mouth as if she had a very definite opinion about him needing five minutes, but then she just shrugged. "I'll ask her."
She shut the door in his face.
He waited, pacing the small front porch until the door opened again. This time, it was Harmony.
"What?"
Wow, she was really mad. He deserved it.
"I'm sorry. Can I come in?"
"No."
He raked his fingers through his hair. "Harmony, I don't want to do this on the porch. Please."
She sighed. "Fine."
She opened the door and he stepped in. Alyssa stood just behind Harmony, arms folded like a warrior bodyguard.
"Alyssa," Barrett said. "Can we have a minute, please?"
Alyssa looked over at Harmony, who gave her friend a short nod.
"I'll be upstairs. You holler if you need me."
Alyssa gave him a look that told him not to upset her best friend, then went upstairs.
"Can we sit down?" Barrett asked.
"I'd rather stand. Plus, you're not staying long."
Okay, so it was going to be like that.
"I'm sorry. I picked the wrong time and place to talk to Drake."
"You think? You knew he wasn't going to react well, and to do it in front of my mother?"
"I know. I need to have a conversation with your mother--to apologize to her."
"No, I'll have a conversation with my mother. I think you've done enough."
"Fine. Then I'll talk to Drake."
"Right. Because that went so well the first time."
He threw up his hands. "What do you want me to do, Harmony?"
"I don't want you to do anything. No, what I want you to do is turn back the clock, man up and tell my brother we were together when we were first together, like you should have."
"You know that wasn't the right time."
"Why wasn't it the right time? Because you just wanted to fuck me then, and if it didn't work out, then your friendship with Drake wouldn't have been tested? What about me, Barrett? What about my feelings? You've been hiding me away like some ugly secret for months now, and I've gone along with it because I thought you and I might have something worth working toward. But you know what? I'm done with that. And I'm done with you."
Cold dread settled in the pit of his stomach. "You don't mean that. And I told you before I never thought you were an ugly secret. We agreed--"
"We never agreed. I reluctantly settled because that was the way you wanted it. But no more. If you'd cared about me, if you'd respected me, none of this would have happened. I'm done."
He reached out for her. "Harmony, there are things I need to tell you."
She held out her hand. "I don't want to hear anything else you have to say. Please leave."
He heard the finality in her voice. The tremble and the hurt. He hated to have been the one to put that pain there. And by the words she said, it sounded a lot like "this is over."
He wanted to say the words, to convince her he loved her, but she looked so hurt, her arms wrapped protectively around herself, that he knew anything he said right now would roll right over her.
She wouldn't believe him. She wouldn't hear him.
In a lot of ways, she was just as stubborn as her brother, especially when her back was up.
Now wasn't the time for a declaration of love. First he had to fix the damage he'd caused.
He turned and walked out the door, feeling like the absolute asshole that he was.
He had to find a way to make this right.
Thirty-Six
Harmony had spent the past two days feeling absolutely miserable. She'd held on to the anger all day Friday, which had gotten her through the workday in one piece.
By Friday night, the anger had dissolved and the hurt had wedged its way in, followed by miserable tears.
She hated crying over Barrett. He so wasn't worth it.
But he was. She loved him. She didn't want to love him, but she did.
She also highly disliked him at the moment.
Along with her brother.
Deciding not to think about the male gender at all, she'd brought paperwork home and was buried in spreadsheets and pretty designs when her doorbell rang. She knew it wasn't Alyssa, because although her best friend wanted to camp out with her and hold her hand through this, Alyssa had to work today and Harmony had refused to let Alyssa take the day off to hold her hand.
She didn't need handholding. She could get through this.
She went to the door, surprised to see her mother there. She'd talked to her mom on the phone and assured her she was fine.
"Mama. What are you doing here?"
"I came to see my baby girl. Is that all right?"
"Of course it is. Come on in." She hugged her mother and brought her into the living room.
"Do you want some iced tea?"
"I'd love some."
Harmony fixed two glasses of iced tea, then sat on the sofa next to Mama.
"Now," her mother said. "Since you've been avoiding me with all that 'I'm okay' nonsense, why don't you tell me how you really feel?"
She sighed. Mothers really did know best. "I'm miserable. I miss Barrett, even though I'm so angry with him."
Her mother patted her leg. "Of course you do. And why didn't you tell me about the two of you?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I kept waiting for the right moment. And that moment just never came around. Until he and Drake got into that awful fight."
"Well, yes. And your brother. He and I had words."
"Did you?"
"Yes. I made it clear that the head of the household has always been me, and that while I appreciate him being protective over you, that nonsense has to stop. You're not a baby anymore and I'm tired of seeing him act like a bully. And if he doesn't stop this behavior he and I are going to have more than just words next time. It's a pattern, and an ugly one and I won't have it from my son. I think I got my point across this time."
"Thank you for that."
"But as far as the rift between Drake and Barrett? I'm afraid the two of them will have to fix that."
She shrugged. "I don't even care anymore. Barrett should have told Drake about us right from the start. Or I should have. I don't know." She rubbed her forehead where a dull ache had made its home for the past day.
"It's complicated. You have two men who have been friends for years. And trying to date a best friend's little sister is complicated."
Her lips curved. "That's an understatement. Especially where Drake is concerned."
"Give the two of them time and space to make things straight with each other, and don't interfere in that. You and your brother have to get right with each other, too."
Harmony nodded. "I know that. And we will. Eventually. I'm just so mad at him right now."
"And you have a right to be. But you two will fix things."
"I'm sure we will--eventually." Mama wouldn't allow anger to fester between
Drake and her. She'd have to make up with him. But not now.
"And how about you and Barrett?"
She teared up just thinking about it. "It's over."
"Why is it over? Because he and Drake fought? Honey, that's nothing to break up about."
"Because he waited too long to tell Drake about us. Because he felt it necessary to keep us a secret. Because . . . I don't know. I guess because he didn't put me first."
Her mother nodded. "I can understand that. You have a right to be mad as a poked hornet about that. Maybe Barrett's just not the one for you."
"Oh, he was the one, Mama. I love him. That's why this hurts so much."
Her mother sighed. "Baby girl, my heart hurts for you. I hope you and Barrett can work this out. God knows I love that boy."
Mama pulled her into her arms and held her. It didn't matter how old she was, there was nothing better than being held by her mother. She took comfort in the solid embrace. It might not fix things, but at this moment, she felt loved.
And for now, that was good enough.
Thirty-Seven
The game against Dallas hadn't gone like Barrett had wanted it to. Offense had been stagnant, putting up only seven points. Defense had been crusty, slow on getting off their marks.
He and Drake, not even speaking to each other, hadn't been in sync and it had showed.
He'd tried to talk to Drake at practices and before the game and Drake wouldn't have it. Every time he'd approached him Drake had walked away.
The tension had been noticeable even to their defensive coach, who had told them both that whatever was going on between them needed to be resolved, and it sure as hell better not affect their game play.
Barrett wasn't sure if that's what had accounted for their shitty game against Dallas, but it definitely hadn't helped.
They'd lost, fourteen to seven.
He hated losing, especially a game that was close enough they could have won.
He needed to fix things between Drake and him. He needed to fix a lot of things.
He drove to Drake's condo on Monday. It was an off day, and he knew that if he let this simmer between them it was only going to get worse. He rang the bell, and Drake answered.
His expression was still one of anger.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Drake asked.
"We need to talk."
"I got nothing to say to you, man."
"Then you can listen and I'll talk. We've been friends since college. We've been teammates for four years. I love you like a brother, Drake. Don't let this come between us."
Drake opened the door to let him in. That was a start.
He walked in and Drake shut the door. What happened next would be telling.
"You want a water?"
For the first time in five days, that tight band around Barrett's chest started to loosen.
"Yeah. Thanks."
They walked into the kitchen and Drake pulled two waters out of the fridge, then handed one to Barrett. He opened it and took several long swallows to coat his nervous, parched throat.
"I owe you an apology," Barrett said. "You were right when you said I should have respected you enough to come to you and tell you when Harmony and I first started dating. You and I have been friends a long time, and I should have trusted that you would be open and understanding, and know that I have enough respect for your sister to never mistreat her."
Drake nodded. "That's right, you should have known that. You're not one of those assholes she typically dates. You're my best friend. You would never hurt her."
"But now I have hurt her. I hurt her all along by keeping this secret from everyone she cares about. I hurt her, I hurt you and I hurt your mother. And for that I'm deeply sorry. I ask you to forgive me. And then I'm going to go ask your mother to forgive me. After that I'm going to beg Harmony to forgive me. I'm in love with your sister, Drake. And I'm not giving up on her until she lets me back in."
Drake breathed in, then let it out. "Man. You're in love with my sister."
"Yes." He was going to stand there and take whatever Drake handed out.
"I have to own some of this because I have a rep as a Class A dick where she's concerned. All of it has come from a place of love. I've felt the need to protect her since she was a baby. But Mama has finally opened my eyes to the fact that Harmony is now a grown woman. And she can make her own choices, even if those choices end up with her getting hurt. And if she ends up getting hurt, I need to learn to stand by and support her without getting involved."
Drake's lips ticked up. "It's obvious she loves you, or she would have never put up with this bullshit from you, man."
"This is not making me feel better," Barrett said.
"Good. I respect you for coming here and laying this down with me. I love you, man. I don't like things to be off between us."
"I don't, either." Barrett took a step forward and put his arms out.
Drake hugged him, and they slapped backs.
He'd never felt more relieved.
"We're good?" Barrett asked.
"Yeah. We're good. Now you need to go make it right with my sister."
"I intend to. And we need to figure out how we fucked up that game with Dallas so that shit never happens again."
Drake nodded. "You got that. We'll be back in the game in no time. Now that we got our personal shit settled."
"Almost settled. I have to go get the woman I love to forgive me."
Drake laughed. "Good luck with that, my man. Harmony's tough."
Yeah, he knew that. It was one of the reasons he loved her.
Thirty-Eight
Harmony had decided to paint one of the walls in her living room to give the room a pop of color. No doubt it was some form of breakup therapy.
She had tarps down, the baseboard was taped, and there she was on a Tuesday night, wearing her raggiest set of shorts and T-shirt, wielding a paintbrush.
She was halfway through when the doorbell rang.
Dammit. She laid the brush against the roller tray, grabbed the rag to wipe her hands and went to the door, shocked to see her brother there.
She hadn't yet gotten past her anger.
"Hey," she said.
He had the decency to look crestfallen. "Hey yourself, baby sis. Okay if I come in?"
"I guess." She stepped aside and led him into the living room.
Drake surveyed the living room wall, then looked over at her. "Doin' some painting?"
"A little. What brings you here, Drake?"
He turned to face her. "I'm here to apologize for acting like such an ass around you for so long. I guess I have to realize you've grown up, and I haven't come to terms with that. I was wrong to attack Barrett, but more importantly, I've been wrong about you for a lot of years now. I need to let go and let you live the life you choose."
Big admission coming from Drake. "I appreciate that. But words only mean so much to me, Drake. It's actions that'll mean more. Which means that you need to step back, let me make mistakes, let me make choices that might hurt me. Because I need to own my life."
"I know that. And I'll work on it, I promise. But you know that if you need me, if you're ever in trouble, I'll always be here for you."
She realized then that he was afraid for her, just as he'd been afraid for her when she was a little girl and she'd crawled into his lap and cried when she'd fallen down and bloodied her elbow. He loved her and he always would.
She walked into his arms and hugged him. "I love you, Drake."
He wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, too, Harmony."
Tears pricked her eyes. She really did love her brother. And when he squeezed her tight, she realized how much he loved her, too.
She pulled back and he smiled at her.
"We'll always be the devilish duo, like Mama used to call us."
He laughed, and she saw tears in his eyes. "Hell yeah."
"Did you and Barrett talk?"
He nodded. "Yeah. We're good."
"I'm glad."
"He come talk to you yet?"
"No. I'm not sure that can be fixed."
He reached out and took her hand. "Sure it can. Give it some time, and when he calls, listen."
She shrugged. "We'll see."
"Well, I gotta go. Got a hot date tonight."
She rolled her eyes. "Don't you always?"
He grinned as she walked him to the door. "Got a rep to maintain, ya know."
They hugged again at the door and she closed and locked it.
Okay, she felt marginally better now that she and Drake had straightened things out.
She went back and picked up the roller, attacking the wall again. Not twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang again.
What the hell now? She laid the roller down, grabbed the rag to wipe her hands and went to the door, looking out to find Barrett there.
She wasn't sure she wanted to answer it. She'd had enough emotional upheaval already tonight.
But finally, she pulled the door open. "What are you doing here?"
"I'd like to talk to you."
"I'm busy."
He arched a brow. "You have paint all over you."
"Aren't you the observant one. I said I was busy."
He looked around her. "Painting the living room?"
"I'm painting a wall. And if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to it."
"Are you painting because of me?"
"Of course not."
He arched a brow.
She lifted her chin. "I'm giving the living room a pop of color."
"Sure you are."
"Is there something else you need, Barrett, or are we done now?"
"I could help you paint."
"I don't want your help."
"Oh, come on. Painting is fun."
Before she could shut the door in his face, he was inside.
"Barrett." She followed him into the living room, where he was examining the wall color.
"This is . . . interesting. Purple? Really, Harmony?"
Okay, so it had been a rash decision. "It's not purple. It's called Plentiful Plum."
"Looks purple to me."
She was about to shred the rag in her hands. "Why are you here?"
He pulled his attention from the wall and onto her. "I want to talk to you."
"I think we've said enough to each other."
"No, we haven't." He took the paint rag from her hand and took her hands in his. "I haven't told you how badly I messed everything up between us. I haven't told you how I should have told your mother and your brother from the very beginning that you and I were seeing each other. That was my mistake. I should have put you first, because you've been the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep at night. Your eyes are my sunset and your smile is my sun. You make my heart beat faster every time I lay eyes on you. Having you sleep next to me is like having the other half of me feel like a whole.