I spin around and give him my back. “Why should I believe anything you say, Hawk? Why should I trust you ?”
Hawk takes hold of my arms and turns me around, not letting go, so I have no choice but to look directly into his full, blue eyes .
“Because,” he hesitates. “Because I love you, Parrish. Dammit, I love you .”
Hawk leans down and kisses me, furiously, and I want him to get away from me, but I can’t make myself stop. I pound my fists against his chest as I kiss him. I’m furious with him. Why did he have to come back here after leaving me, in this very spot, so many years ago? I feel angry tears start to stream down my face as I think about the hurt he caused, running away from me, from all of us. I sob, and Hawk disconnects from our kiss, a look of anguish on his face that I’ve never seen before .
“Parrish, please stop trying to run from this, from us. I was young. I was stupid. And I was scared of my feelings for you. I want only you, not Simone, not another woman back in LA. I want you, and I won’t pretend I don’t anymore .”
He pushes me against the wall, that same wall where he first kissed me at the graduation party. I wrench open his flannel shirt in response, buttons flying all over the stall. In return, he hastily yanks my sweater over my head, throwing it into a pile of hay. Our lips and hands are lost on one another’s bodies as we anxiously grab and taste each other, desperate to never let go and frightened to stay. I want this man so badly. I want to be his forever .
I’m also terrified of being left again .
“Hawk, you can’t do this to me again. You cannot leave me with this gaping hole in my heart. I don’t think I could survive another broken heart,” I whisper .
“Parrish, I thought about you every day I was gone. And it tore me apart. I hated myself for still wanting you, even after you married Matt. So I stayed away. And I know that I fucked up. But I cannot live without you. I can’t survive another broken heart either. Please. We can heal together .”
Hawk turns me around. “You are the only one for me, Parrish. The biggest mistake I ever made in my life was leaving you .”
He and grabs my breasts with his strong hands, sending shivers through me. Then he unzips my jeans and pulls them down around my ankles, hastily reaching around my waist for my clit. He slips his fingers into my aching core, discovering that I’m already wet for him. As angry as I am for what he did, I know that I can never hate him. I’ve never hated him. My body needs his body like I need air to breathe. And now, I need him in me .
I bend over the stall door, resting my head on the ledge. Hawk is taken aback at the sudden gesture .
“Make me yours then,” I demand. “Forever .”
Hawk grabs my hips and positions himself behind me. I reach in between my legs and grab onto his fully hard and quivering cock, guiding him inside. My legs reposition themselves, opening wider to fit his girth. I hold on to the edges of the stall door as I begin moving back and forth on his cock, sliding him in and out of me, feeling every ridge of him inside me .
He leans over onto me, reaching his hand around my waist to tease my clit, stroking me almost forcefully as his thrusts begin to match my strokes. I respond by moving faster against him, but Hawk matches my pace easily. My breasts are bouncing wildly with every lunge, and the sound of our skin slapping against each other echoes throughout the stalls in response to our manic, nearly desperate, fucking. I feel my release rising inside of me as his cock hits the back of my passage, finding every sensitive spot along the way .
“Oh, Hawk!” I cry out as I arch myself forward in elation, rocking as I ride my orgasm on his manhood. Hawk’s thrusts become more rigid, and I know he’s finishing inside me, enjoying watching the pain from my heartbreak turn to pleasure .
I stand up, and his penis slips out from inside me. Hawk is glistening in sweat from the effort. I lean into his chest in exhaustion and trepidation, hoping I haven’t scared him away with my anger. If I have, I want to enjoy this one last embrace before I have to face saying goodbye once and for all .
“You are mine forever now, Parrish,” he whispers into my hair. “I will never lose you again .”
The last sense of anger melts away from me, and I begin to feel safe in his arms. He picks me up and carries me over to a pile of hay, then lays me down gently, before sitting down next to me. He brushes stray pieces of hay from my hair, and kisses away the sweat from my forehead .
“Do you believe me now, Parrish? Do you believe there is no other woman I want to be with in this world?” he whispers into my ear .
I feel a desperate cry settling in my chest. It’s a combination of pure love, and need, and fear. As I look into his eyes, I see my future, and for a moment, I can almost imagine letting go of the pain he caused me in the past. I can believe that he won’t hurt me again. I believe… that he loves me .
“Yes, yes Hawk. I believe you .”
As he holds me close against the chill in the air, I find comfort in the peace he is bringing me. If only for this moment, I find peace .
Hawk
I t’s been two weeks since the party, and Parrish and I still haven’t figured out how to tell my parents that we are, well, together. It’s pretty obvious to Anna and Carter, who have been teasing us relentlessly when we are out of ear shot of mom and dad. And I thought for a second the gig was up for sure when Simone’s article in Modern Architecture arrived. They’d devoted the cover story to the stable build, and then, when we opened up the story to read it, my name wasn’t mentioned anywhere. Not once. It was like I hadn’t even been here, despite the fact I designed the new stable. My dad read the story a dozen times, then looked at me like he was losing his mind .
“Hawk, I don’t understand. That reporter spent a galdurn month following you around like a puppy dog, and now… It’s like you didn’t even exist. What did you do to her ?”
Parrish shot me daggers, and I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it was an oversight ?”
“An oversight? You designed the damn building, Hawk! I’m going to call this editor right now,” dad said as he stood up with a grumble. Then Parrish looked panicked, and I started stumbling over excuses, when Anna cleared her throat with a smile .
“Hey, Dad, I thought about inviting Sid over for dinner this weekend. What do you think ?”
At that moment, I could have thrown my arms around my sister and offered to give her all of the money in my bank account. The next hour was spent discussing whether or not Sid and Anna were serious, where their relationship was going, and why exactly he was coming over for dinner. It was just distracting enough for Parrish and I to escape unscathed .
But now, we are sitting at a family dinner, Mom and Dad are discussing plans for the holidays, when my dad looks at me with a raised eyebrow .
“Speaking of, son. Are you planning on just staying here until Christmas now? You don’t seem all that anxious to pack up and head back to California .”
I reach a hand down under the table and squeeze Parrish’s hand. My other hand is setting on the box in my jacket, the box that has been burning a hole in my pocket for a week. I look over at Anna, who rolls her eyes .
“Yes, Papa, I am pretty confident that Hawk isn’t going anywhere. Parrish, Hawk, would you like to tell them why? Or Carter and I can do it? Hell, Gracie probably could at this point. But for the love of all that is holy, will someone spill the beans and get it over with it ?”
Mom looks across the table at us, completely confused. “Hawk? What is your sister talking about ?”
Parrish and I both laugh nervously, before she clears her throat. “Sam. Candy. Hawk and I have something we need to tell you. Something kind of important .”
I squeeze her hand again. “Actually, Parrish. Do you mind if I take over ?”
She shakes her head, and shrugs, but looks a little more stressed than she did a second ago. I stand up from the table and set my napkin down, trying to put the fact that everyone is staring at me out of my head .
“Mama, D
ad, this may seem crazy to you. And it seems crazy to me, honestly. But I am in love with Parrish. I am crazy, out-of-my-mind, head-over-heels in love with her. And I think she feels the same way about me .”
Every eye turns to Parrish, and we watch her cheeks turn red in real time. But she nods with a smile .
“Hawk, what in the damn hell are you talking about?” dad says, running his hands over his face. “Are you trying to tell us you’re in love with your brother’s wife ?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you, dad. I’ve been in love with her since we were kids. I never stopped loving her. And it may not make a lot of sense to you now, but I promise you. There is no one on this earth that can love her, and take care of her, and Gracie, as well as I can .”
I turn to Parrish, and with a smile, I get down on my knee. I hear Carter and Anna gasp in unison, and my father mutter, “what in the hell is happening in this house?” I reach in to my pocket and pull out the little velvet jewelry box, and flip it open, revealing a perfect, sparkling, pear-shaped diamond. Parrish covers her eyes, and shakes her head, so I reach up and pull her hands away .
“Honey, look at me. Please .”
She opens her eyes and there are tears in them .
“Parrish Elizabeth Monroe McCormick, you were loved and adored by one of the best men I’ve ever known in my entire life. I only hope to be half the man Matt was, half the husband, half the father he could have been. But I know, in my heart, that my love for you is bigger than any challenge we may face. Any obstacle ahead of us. So, I’m asking you now, in front of our family, in front of your perfect daughter, if you’ll do me the honor of allowing me to be your husband ?”
Parrish doesn’t say anything. She just leaps up from her chair and throws her arms around my neck with a huge smile, and starts kissing my cheeks and my lips and my forehead and my chin. When she’s done, she pulls back, and whispers, “yes. Forever, yes .”
I slip the ring on her perfect finger, and she wraps her arms around me again .
“It’s about damn time,” Anna says with a laugh .
“Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?” dad says, exasperated .
I turn around and grin at him .
“Well, dad… Do you remember the night of the graduation party …”
Epilogue
Parrish
I look down at my finger, at the sparkling pear-shaped diamond, and I can barely process that I am married again. It’s even harder to fathom that I am married to Hawk McCormick, the first man I ever loved, and the brother of the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. It feels like an eternity has passed since the wedding on the ranch, with only our family there. It took a while for Sam and Candy to get used to the idea of Hawk and me together, but eventually, they understood the comfort and happiness we brought to each other, in spite of our complicated history. Candy, especially, was just happy to have her boy back at the ranch .
A few days after Hawk proposed to me, he called his boss in Los Angeles and convinced him to let Hawk set up a branch of the architecture firm in Helena. His boss was hesitant to the idea at first, but once he saw the finished stable, and how much added revenue it brought to McCormick Ranch, he couldn’t argue against the benefits. By the time we got married, Hawk had already established the new office, hired a staff, and set it up so he could telecommute in from the ranch. He only has to go to Helena once or twice a month, or if there is a big meeting with a new client. The rest of the time, he works from the new home office we set up for him in the carriage house, where he, Gracie, and I are living while our new house is being built on the far edge of the property .
When we first made it official, I thought for sure that Hawk was going to go crazy being back in Dylan. He’d spent so long in the big city, living a crazy, single-guy life, that it seemed insane to me he would be happy on the ranch with me, and Gracie, and his family. But instead of going stir-crazy, he melted back into like he’d never left. He’d get up early, help Anna in the stables, get Gracie ready for school, then spend the day in his office designing and planning for his new clients. At night, we’d eat dinner with the family, or hang out just the three of us, and for the first time since I lost Matt, I felt complete. Happy. And Gracie seemed to feel it too, because she was even more content than I’d ever known her to be .
Once Hawk’s new business was set up, and everything was settled there, we planned the wedding, and we planned it fast. I didn’t want anything fancy, and neither did Hawk; we just wanted something simple, with only the family in attendance, and that is what they gave us. We got married on a beautiful fall day at sunset, with Gracie in Hawk’s arms, and a locket with Matt’s picture hanging around my neck. Hawk promised me we would never forget about Matt, that he would always be a part of our lives, and that meant everything to me. Even as I moved forward with my life, I knew I could never say goodbye to Matt. It was deeply important to me that Hawk understood that, and it meant the world to me that he did .
And now, we are on our honeymoon, finally, months after we got married and I still can’t believe we’re in Iceland. When Hawk first suggested it for our special trip, I balked. Why go somewhere cold in the middle of winter, when were are so many tropical places to visit ?
Of course, he was right. Arriving at our hotel suite, I stop to catch my breath looking at the view. Just outside of our room, we have our own little slice of the Blue Lagoon, the geothermal pool the country is so famous for. No sharing with other tourists, no waiting in line. The outdoor space is completely surrounded by towering rocks that glisten with moisture from the steam rising. The pool overlooks the dramatic Icelandic skyline, which is covered in the gray clouds of dusk. The last rays of sun peek through as it vanishes from the sky .
“These clouds should clear soon, and we will be able to see the Northern Lights,” Hawk exclaims, throwing his suitcase onto the floor. His clothes quickly come next as he tosses them onto the bed and heads outside .
I laugh to myself at his eagerness. “Isn’t it freezing out there?” I call after him .
“Only if you don’t hurry and get in!” he shouts back .
I start to remove my sweats and t-shirt, folding them neatly and putting them on top of my bag. After traveling, I cannot wait to finally unwind .
I rush outside, fully naked, and run into the spa. The heat that envelops my body is beautifully contrasted by the chill of the air as I settle myself in, feeling the stress of the long flight melt away. I make my way over to the edge of the pool, where Hawk is gazing out into the sunset and lean my head against his strong arm. Together, we stand for several minutes in complete silence, the weight of this perfect moment enveloping us. After all of these years pining for one another and trying to move on, we’ve found our way back together. We’ve made it, and now we are here, as husband and wife .
Hawk turns his head to kiss the top of mine. “I love you, Parrish. I love you more in this moment than I ever have. And yet somehow I know that this feeling will only continue to grow .”
He turns me to face him, taking me into his embrace. I take a deep breath as I melt into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. This man is mine forever .
Hawk tilts my chin up sweetly to face him, and kisses me deeply. I lock my arms around his chest, holding him as close to me as I can. I feel his breath quicken with each subsequent kiss, as we stand in the water intertwined with one another. His tongue and mine continue to dance, desperate to demonstrate our feelings. I feel his cock begin to harden in between my legs as I stand pressed up against him .
I pull my face away slightly in time to ask whether we should go inside. Hawk just smiles, kissing me again .
“I don’t want you to miss the show .”
He leads me to the edge of the pool and leans me against one of the towering stones sheltering us from outside eyes. Under the water, his hands meet mine, and our fingers interlock, as he slowly raises both of my arms above my head. My body is fully stretched out, ex
posed in the light of the rising moon as Hawk holds me up in delicious captivity. My breasts gently bounce up and down as my breathing becomes heavy in expectation .
“My god, Parrish. I am the luckiest man in the world. You look like a goddess tonight .”
He leans himself against me, keeping my arms above my head and kisses me hard. I feel the ache in between my legs grow stronger, begging for him to enter me. Taking both of my wrists in one hand, Hawk slides his other hand down my body, softly stroking each breasts, and continues down my hips before landing on my clit. He begins to slowly pull in and out of my slit, carefully teasing me. My body starts to twitch with desire. He knows just what to do to make me ache for him .
“I can tell how wet you are, even in this water,” he beams .
“Please, Hawk. I need you,” I breathe .
Releasing my hands, Hawk reaches around and picks me up, holding my butt firmly in his grasp, pulling my hips forward towards him. He lowers me down onto his swollen cock and leans me back against the rock again. I wrap my arms around his neck to stay upright as he begins to rock in and out of me. His lips find mine again, kissing me passionately with every stroke. Hawk pulls in and out slowly, stretching and filling me with his thrusts, letting me feel every inch of his desire .
The sensation overwhelms me, and I cry out into the night in ecstasy as I finish for him, my fingernails gripping his back tightly. Hawk smiles and begins moving faster, pumping me more vigorously. I hold him as close as I can, riding my endless waves of pleasure as he fills me with his passion .
Suddenly, I feel his hands grip my ass hard. “Parrish!” he sighs as I feel him come inside of me in spurt after spurt .
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