“You just did,” he shrugs, keeping his eyes closed. “But I’m perfectly happy where we are. Can’t we just stay like this ?”
“Don’t you have work to do? Come to think of it, don’t you have work for me to do ?”
“Well I have a job for you, if that’s what you mean,” he grins, taking at my hand and looking pointedly toward his bulging trunks .
“I mean it, Ethan,” I insist. Reluctantly, I tug my hand back. He opens one eye and squints at me .
“Okay,” he starts slowly. “Fair enough. So what do you want to do ?”
I hold my breath for a moment. What do I want to do? That’s a good question. I’m antsy, eager. I feel like there is more to be done. But what, exactly, do I want ?
“Well, we can’t stay here forever, can we?” I venture, knowing that’s not the most courageous thing I’ve ever said .
“Of course we can,” he counters. “I can have everything delivered to us here. Anything you want. We never have to go anywhere .”
“Never? Are you really offering me a forever kind of situation, Ethan ?”
He sighs, not answering. I watch his lips press together tightly. Suddenly, I sort of see him the way everyone else sees him. Over the last few days, he has seemed so tender, so willing to connect with me, but then again, that’s probably all part of the Prince Charming act .
“Ethan?”
“What?” he answers. I hear the chill in his voice .
“You’re not really suggesting that we stay here, are you,” I say, and it’s not a question. It’s a statement. I know the answer .
“Ava, I really think you’re overthinking it .”
I sit up in my chair with my back to the sun so I can see him more clearly .
“I’m not overthinking it,” I protest. “You’re not saying that we should stay here, Ethan. You are just giving me one of your smooth billionaire lines, right ?”
“I’m just lying in the sun, Ava,” he sighs impatiently, like I’m an annoying little kid all over again .
“Because you’re not really saying that we are a thing , right? You’re not saying you’re going to send out a press release and declare that I’m your girlfriend , right ?”
There, I said it. It’s sort of a relief, now that I hear the words. I know this is true. I know I’ve been staying here for the better part of a week, inside of a fantasy. This is not real life. Real life is somewhere else, and we have just been pretending .
“No,” he finally says .
I shake my head. It’s a simple word, but somehow it’s not enough .
“No, what?” I persist .
“No, I’m not sending out a press release or anything,” he shakes his head. His eyes open finally and he looks at me with a mixture of irritation, sadness, resolve. Strangely, he feels much farther away from me than eighteen inches, even though I can measure the actual distance with my eyes. “We’re just hanging out, Ava. Isn’t that enough? Haven’t we been having a great time ?”
I tip my head to the side, staring at him. Yeah, I knew this was coming. It still kind of sucks. But my stubbornness takes over. I’m not going to be one of those girls who cries about it, who demands more. I got what I wanted, didn’t I? Bea will be proud .
My heart sinks. My stomach drops. But I stand up, picking my cover up off the back of the chair and putting it back on .
“Oh, yeah, it’s totally cool,” I say breezily. “I have so much stuff I need to do back home anyway. But this has been really fun, Ethan. Thanks for the vacation .”
“So… that’s it? You’re ready to go ?”
I look around the patio, the horizon, the black sand beach stretching for miles in either direction. If I’m being honest, is there anything left for me here ?
“Sure,” I chirp brightly. “I’ll get my stuff packed. Let me know when you’re ready .”
As I walk away, closing the patio door behind me, my chest is pounding. I hadn’t quite planned it all out. It just happened, with the words spilling out before I could stop them .
But in reviewing my performance back there, I know it was the right thing to do. And I know that I acted strong while I was doing it. I suppose that is the best I can expect from myself .
Chapter 33
ETHAN
S he closes the patio door, and the sound of the ocean waves take over again .
I’m not sure why I answered her that way. Just habit, I suppose. Every time someone’s tried to insist on a little bit more for me, I have declined. At first, I just didn’t meet anybody worth latching onto. Then I got wealthy, and I never really knew which women were authentic. There’ve been a lot of them. Some gold diggers, but some decent ones too. But after a while, it just sort of became easier to keep them all at arm’s length rather than trying to separate the real ones from the fake ones .
So, which one is she ?
Then again, it doesn’t matter. I just pushed her away, didn’t I? And she went, willingly. She walked away. So that’s that .
I stand up from the lounge chair, stretching. I’m sore everywhere. Feeling my thigh muscles ache, I have to smile. Ava has really given me a workout over the last few days. So much for that shy virgin act. When she came out of her shell, she turned into an absolute animal, demanding more and more from me, several times a day .
And now she wants to go back home .
Figures.
It takes my eyes a few seconds to adjust when I walk back inside, out of the glaring sunlight. After I shoot a couple of texts to Perry, I’ve got the plane all fueled up, checked and ready to take off. We can just go .
When I walk into the bedroom to let her know, she’s already dressed, with her hair pinned up on top of her head and sunglasses perched over that. She smiles at me in a friendly way, like we’re neighbors .
“The jet will be ready for us,” I tell her. “Ben is going to drive us in a little bit. You all set?” I ask her .
“Totally,” she shrugs. There’s not a trace of regret there. Amazing .
“Perfect,” I answer, matching her breezy attitude. “I’ll just hop in the shower. Looks like a lot of people are waiting for me back in San Francisco anyway. You mind taking a taxi when we get there? I already have a meeting set up .”
“Sounds great,” she smiles. Like a bank teller, like I expect her to add have a nice day on the end of it .
We spend the rest of the time we have together acting like coworkers. Logically, I know this is the best way. We both got what we wanted, right? She wanted to shed her virginal roadblocks, get a taste of the good life. I wanted to cross her off my to-do list. And I did .
Totally fair, no hard feelings, that’s that .
Once we’re on the jet, Nadine brings out coffee. She gestures toward the champagne that’s always kept on board and I shake my head. This is not a champagne kind of trip .
Ava slides into one of the captains’ chairs, peering out the window and buckling the seatbelt over her hips .
“I still can’t get over it,” she muses. “Did you think your life was going to be this way? Did you think you were going to end up the sort of guy who travels the world in a private jet ?”
“Of course I did,” I answer reasonably. “Nobody gets rich by mistake. I mean, it takes luck, but you still have to aim for it .”
She nods thoughtfully. “I hadn’t thought about it that way .”
“Well, you should,” I say. “I mean, you should think about where you’re aiming. You should have a plan .”
She smiles, her cheeks dimpling in that way that I love. I try not to notice .
“Speaking of plans,” she starts. “Didn’t we have a plan to make a cover story? Aden is going to be all over me like a detective. I need something to tell him, and we never did get to tour your companies and look for a job …”
“Oh, you’re totally right. Your brother’s going to freak .”
She lowers her chin and glares at me. “No, my brother is not going to freak,” she retorts, suddenly all sass
y. “Because you’re going to keep your word, Ethan. You’re going to give me a job .”
“Okay, okay,” I answer. She’s right. “Fair enough. A promise is a promise. So, what would you like to do ?”
She shrugs one shoulder, settling back in her chair as we start rolling down the runway. Immediately I remember our first trip on the jet, holding her in my arms, eager to touch her, eager to make her moan in my ear. I push the thought away with prejudice .
I don’t want to think about that right now .
“I think I would like… well, not an internship. Something real .”
“Something real,” I repeat with a smirk. “What does that mean ?”
“Well I can’t go home with just an internship, now can I? Internships are supposed to turn into real jobs .”
“Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. You think your internship went well? You got promoted just like that ?”
“I think my internship went amazing ,” she answers with a twinkle in her eye. Does she have to flirt like this? “I definitely think I got promoted. I’m practically running the place now .”
I can’t help but chuckle. She really is adorable. “Okay then. A real job. Doing what ?”
The jet lifts into the air, leaving the ground behind. Leaving all of last week behind, just like that .
“Well, do you have something in media? Television? Movies? It is California .”
“Hmm… not really. Television is kind of a dying industry. I do have a small company that does videos, like short dramas. Web-based .”
She raises her eyebrows at me. “Like soap operas? Like daytime television ?”
“Yeah, I don’t know if that really exists anymore,” I laugh. “But I think you might like it, now that you mention it. It’s right downtown, as a matter of fact. They have been doing really well, and I know they just lost a couple of production people. Would you be interested in trying something like that ?”
“It sure sounds like a good start,” she says. I search her eyes, looking for a trace of the woman who was in my arms just this morning. Anything. But no .
“Okay then,” I say finally. I guess it’s all settled .
The jet lands again in about thirty-five minutes, which goes by so quickly. The taxi is waiting on the tarmac when we get there, and we deplane, chatting in a friendly but awkward, albeit professional, way, I suppose .
She looks up at me for just a moment before she gets into the taxi, pushing her hair back from her forehead with her hand. I see fifteen years of her, all layered at once. The young girl, the teenager, the young woman, the vixen, and now the savvy negotiator who just talked me into giving her a pretty great job even though I don’t even know what her major was in college .
“All right, then,” she says brightly, smiling and squinting in the glaring sunlight. “See you soon, Boss !”
She ducks into the taxi and the door thuds closed. As it rolls away, I wonder if I’ve done the right thing. My stomach clenches .
I mean, I don’t know what else I could have done. I’ve never done anything else but say goodbye, over and over again .
So why is this one so hard ?
Chapter 34
AVA
“W ait, this is where you work?” Bea asks, her eyes widening. We go through the revolving glass doors and end up in the wide, marble-lined lobby. I let her look around for a couple of seconds and drink it all in. It’s not my building, like I didn’t build it, but I do still feel pretty proud .
“Yep, this is the place! Fourteenth floor. I’ll show you my cubicle !”
“Oh good, a cubicle,” she repeats wryly. “I’ve never seen one of those before .”
We step into the elevator and I thumb the button for the fourteenth floor, sliding my shiny new access card through the slot .
“Be nice, Bea,” I scold her gently. “It’s just a start. Everybody gets in on an entry level, don’t they ?”
“Not everybody,” she rolls her eyes .
I make a face, cringing. “You didn’t find anything yet?” I ask carefully .
She shakes her head, her lips pressed into a tight line .
“I can’t believe it,” she sighs. “I must’ve given out two hundred resumes, and only three interviews. Still nothing .”
The doors slide open and we walk out into the reception room. The receptionist looks up and smiles from behind her glass desk .
“This way,” I say, leading down the hallway on the left to the row of low partitions that divide the cubicles. Bea’s head swivels back and forth as she drinks it all in. It’s pretty nice. A brightly lit space, filled with twenty-somethings trying to battle each other for creative supremacy every day .
“What do you do here, exactly?” she asks in a low voice, like we’re in a library or something .
“Whatever they tell me to do,” I shrug. “Officially, my title is ‘producer,’ but that doesn’t really mean anything. Not like I’m a movie producer or something. I just, you know, produce things .”
“What kind of things ?”
“Mostly PowerPoint presentations,” I chuckle. “Sometimes I even get to produce copies !”
She opens her eyes wide, dramatically nodding as though it’s the most interesting fact in the world .
“You should be president by the end of the week !”
We keep our voices down, but the urge to giggle is almost overwhelming .
“Can I see the studio? Maybe meet the actors or something? I like that Blake guy .”
“Oh, do you watch these videos?” I ask her. Somehow the thought hadn’t even occurred to me .
“I love them!” she sighs. “New media. I’m all about it .”
“Well, when I really am president, I’ll be sure to give you a job,” I assure her. “Let me just get my purse and we’ll go have lunch .”
Bea plops down in my swivel desk chair while I log into my computer, checking for new emails before grabbing my purse .
“Oh my God,” I whisper .
“What is it?” she asks, stopping in mid swivel .
“It’s an email… from Ethan .”
She leans forward, intrigued. I scan the thing quickly. It’s a long email, more than I would’ve expected .
“What’s it say ?”
“He wants to… go out? Next week?” I answer, confused .
It actually says a lot of things. But it’s weirdly mechanical, almost like a corporate status update. He even mentions that Ben got the oil changed on his Maserati. It seems weird .
“Are you going to go out with him ?”
“No,” I answer softly, standing up .
“What you mean, no? Was it that bad ?”
I look around the office, nodding at my supervisor, a couple of the interns. I like this place. This is a good fit for me .
“No, I already had to take a sick day. I need to focus .”
“What does that have to do with anything?” she huffs .
“I mean, I don’t know,” I sigh. “I’m not sure what to do. I already broke things off with him. There’s no point going back to that, is there ?”
“Well, is he going to buy you dinner? You’re not going to say no to a free dinner, are you ?”
“I don’t know …”
“I mean, he is your boss. Maybe he just wants to check in? See how you’re doing ?”
I shrug .
She rolls her eyes dramatically, nudging me with her shoulder and leaning over the keyboard .
“Here, let me help you,” she starts, typing with her long, clicky fingernails. “Hello, Ethan. Nice to hear from you. I’d love to go out to dinner, thanks for asking. Smooches, Ava .”
My eyes open wide. “Wait, did you just send that? Did you seriously just send him an email ?”
She shrugs. “Yes, and now I’m famished. Can we go to lunch please ?”
My head starts to spin. “What did you just do?” I demand. “You really just sent that email? Oh my God, I can’t believe you !”
&n
bsp; “God, you’re so dramatic. Get your purse .”
She saunters out of my cubicle, and I snatch my purse and trot behind her, trying to keep my voice down .
“Bea, wait !”
But she just sashays toward the receptionist again. She’s very proud of herself, I can tell. My stomach churns ominously .
“Hold on,” I gulp. “Ladies room, now !”
I duck into the ladies room before we get to the reception area, my hands out to steady myself against the counter. The room seems to tip in front of my eyes and I breathe deeply, trying to get a grip .
“Jeez, Ava, I was just joking… are you okay?” Bea says, coming up behind me. She flips on a tap and wets a couple of paper towels that she hands to me .
I dab at my forehead, blinking over and over again .
“Bea, what were you thinking! I did not want to send that email !”
“You don’t look so good,” she mutters, concerned .
“Well, you just agreed to a date that I didn’t want !”
Her hand reaches out, and she pats my arm. “No, I mean it,” she says again. “You don’t look so good, Ava. You okay ?”
I fan myself with my hand, shivering slightly. “I’m fine. Just adjusting to the new space .”
“Are you tired? Hungry ?”
“Yeah, starving,” I admit .
“Nauseous? Dizzy ?”
“Those too .”
She squints at me, staring me up and down. “Is your period late by any chance ?”
My heart stops .
A mental image of a calendar pops into my head and I count back twenty-eight days, then a few days more... oh no .
“Oh my God, Bea .”
Bea snaps her giant purse open, plunging her hand in and digging loudly to the bottom. She pulls out a box .
“Why do you have a pregnancy test in your purse?” I ask her .
“It’s for my sister Julie. She freaks out like every other week since they started trying. I always have these,” she answers .
With shaking hands, I take the test from her and duck into a stall. Three minutes later, we’re both staring at the little plastic stick on the counter, holding our breath .
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