“Everything okay?” Connor moved in behind her. The heat of his body warmed her, and she had to resist the urge to lean back against him. Her head was thumping and she’d like nothing more than to take a couple of pain killers and crawl into bed.
“Sure. Why wouldn’t it be? My best friend has been taking money to pay off a blackmailer who called her ex, who then beat her up. I’m great.”
Connor sat on the stool next to her, placing one hand on the small of her back.
“It will be okay, Ria.”
She snorted. “Yeah, right.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Course it wasn’t,” she told him, not believing a word. “Since I’m not needed here tonight, I think I’ll return to my apartment.” And sit there, alone. Thinking over what had happened and what she could have done to prevent it. Guilt was a motherfucker that could make your life a misery.
“And do what? Beat yourself up?”
“Think there’s been enough hitting going on. Got the bruises to prove it.”
He scowled. “Let’s not talk about that.”
“You’re angry I was hurt? Why? It wasn’t you who did it. You couldn’t have prevented it.”
“I could have if you’d called me.”
Her eyes widened. “Why would I have done that?”
“Because you trust me to take care of shit.”
She leaned in. “News flash, I don’t trust you.” Trust him? Was he insane? She didn’t even know who he was. She’d only just learned why he was truly here. It was just like Martin all over again.
Yeah, except Martin fucked you and used you.
Connor might have kissed her, but he hadn’t let things go further. And it wasn’t like she was being fully truthful with him.
He was silent for a moment. Fuck, there went that guilt again. She really had to learn to control that emotion. “Don’t take it personally, I don’t trust anyone.”
“Must be lonely.”
He had no fucking idea.
“Even if I had called you, you wouldn’t have gotten there in time to help.”
“Not unless I was close by.” He gave her a heated look.
“How close?”
Oh, fuck, are you flirting with him? This is the guy who had been ready to throw Sophie in jail. But he hadn’t. He’d let Ajax handle things.
He ran his fingers down her arm. She shivered. “Close enough to be there when you needed help.” He placed his hand around the back of her neck. “You’re very tense.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
“You need to relax or you’ll never get any sleep.”
“Yeah? You got some ideas about how I could relax?” She almost purred out the last word. Holy fuck. This wasn’t her. She did not flirt. Especially not with arrogant Doms who seemed to think they had the right to tell her what to do.
But the pull was too big to ignore. She felt herself leaning in to him.
Bad, Ria! Abort!
How was she supposed to resist him when he had the sexiest eyes she’d ever seen? And, now, her vibrator just didn’t seem all that appealing.
“Yeah, I do. We could go into the dungeon and play.”
Um, say what? Back the truck the fuck up. That wasn’t where she’d thought he was going. She tried to sit up, she’d somehow ended up pretty much plastered against him.
But he wrapped his arm around her, keeping her in place. “Don’t tense up, wildcat. It was just a suggestion. But I think it would help. Get you out of your head for a while.”
She managed to pull back to glare up at him. She was surprised when he frowned and ran a finger down her cheek. “What?”
“You’re too pale. I should just get you home and tuck you into bed.”
What? Oh, hell no. She’d gotten all hot and bothered and he wanted to take her home and put her to bed? Like a damn child?
“I don’t need to go to bed.”
He raised one eyebrow. “Those bags under your eyes tell a different story.”
“You know, it’s not considered polite to point out a woman’s flaws.”
“Baby, that’s no flaw. It’s just a reflection of the crappy night you’ve had. I’m betting you didn’t get any sleep.”
Maybe not. Didn’t mean she was going to manage to get any tonight. Although, if he kept rubbing her back like that, she might just slip into a coma right now.
“Besides, you’re beautiful, whether or not you have bags under your eyes.”
He thought she was beautiful? Was he blind?
“You supposed to wear glasses?”
He stiffened. “Excuse me?”
Shit. She wished she hadn’t said that.
“I’m not beautiful,” she muttered.
“You are beautiful,” he countered. “And arguing with me means you think I’m a liar. Are you prepared to call me a liar, wildcat?”
She blew out a breath. Fuck. Why did she always open her mouth without thinking? She knew calling him a liar would be like waving a big red flag in front of him.
“No,” she muttered.
“I didn’t hear you.”
Oh, he so had. But, fine, she’d play this game.
“I’m not calling you a liar.”
“That’s just as well or the scene I have planned would take a different route.”
God, that deep note to his voice sent a delicious tremble across her skin.
“We’re not doing a scene.”
“All right,” he said easily. What? He wasn’t going to try to convince her? And why did that disappoint her? Did she want him to push back? Or was she sad because it seemed he didn’t want her as much as she did him?
“If you don’t want to play, that’s your choice. But I’m still going to insist on driving you home. I don’t like that Jerry knows where you live.”
“He doesn’t know which apartment I’m in,” she told him. “And I checked earlier, he’s still locked up.”
He kept his movement up and down her back. It was almost hypnotic.
“What-what happens to Sophie now?” she asked.
“That’s up to Roarke. And Ajax.”
“Not sure how I feel about all this.”
“Sophie’s a big girl, Ria. She can make up her own mind. If you want, you can sit her down and talk all this over with her.”
She nodded and went to slip off her stool. Connor wrapped both hands around her waist, stilling her. “Not tonight.”
“But—”
He shook his head. “They both need some time together to sort this out. She needs to hear from him what he expects. Then she can agree or not. And then you can make sure she knows what she’s signing up for. But they need to figure this first part out on their own. You know he’s not going to hurt her. You can’t protect her all the time, Ria.”
“I can try.”
“And burn yourself out in the process. Tell me, while you’ve been taking care of Sophie, and everyone else e, who’s been looking after you?”
“I don’t look after everyone.”
“You’re like a little mother hen, except with an excess of attitude and a foul mouth.”
“Wow, you really know how to flatter a girl,” she muttered.
“I’ve tried to call you beautiful, you threw it back in my face,” he pointed out calmly. Damn him. Did nothing rattle him? She was used to being around men whose emotions ran hot. It had been a bit of a culture shock to find herself around men who remained calm and controlled. And Connor was worse than most.
And now he’d made her feel guilty about making light of his compliment.
“I look after myself.” It wasn’t something she’d ever had to do growing up. Even if her upbringing had been unusual, she’d been well protected. Well, so she’d thought.
“That sounds pretty tiring. And lonely.”
He wasn’t wrong, even if she wouldn’t admit it out loud.
He turned them both so they faced one another. His feet were on the floor, his legs on either side of hers. He pla
ced his hands on her thighs, squeezing lightly. “You’ve definitely been trained, haven’t you?”
She thought about playing dumb. But truthfully, she was getting tired of the subterfuge. Of having to hold back.
“Yes, I guess you could say that.”
“You guess?”
She shrugged. “I had a Dom for a while. Turns out he was a complete prick. He taught me basically everything I know about BDSM, who’s to say whether it’s right or not.”
“I don’t buy that.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a smart woman, Ria. You’d have done your research. You’d know what was what.”
“I’m a different person than what I was then.”
“All right. But what about now? You work in a BDSM club, you must have some idea of whether what you were shown was bullshit or not.”
Yeah, she did. She nodded. “Yeah, okay, he might have been a prick, but I guess he knew what he was doing.” She cut her eyes to his. “Doesn’t mean I do that stuff anymore.”
“Why did you choose to waitress in a bar at a BDSM club if you didn’t intend to ever play again?”
“Maybe I’m a masochist,” she muttered.
“Are you?”
Well, that was a pretty stupid thing to say to a Dom. She sighed. “No, not really.”
“Not really? We need to work on your communication skills. When you’re not mad, that is. When you’re angry everyone knows what you’re thinking.”
She had to grin. “I know you’re trying to insult me but as someone who never used to voice her opinion, I like knowing I now can.”
“I’d like to know more about your past.”
“You won’t ever know about my past.”
His face filled with interest. Damn it. Idiot. This guy was an investigator. What was she even doing talking to him? And now she’d practically dared him to look into her. If he hadn’t already.
Shit. Did he know anything?
Of course, he didn’t. If he had, they wouldn’t be sitting here like this. Besides, her ID was solid; she’d paid enough to see to that. No, he didn’t know anything. Still, probably not a good idea to get his suspicions aroused.
“Look, it’s not even that interesting, okay? I was involved with a Dom, he was an ass, and it turned me off having another one.”
“Yet you’re surrounded by them every day.”
“Okay, so maybe I could have gotten a job in a normal bar and maybe there’s a part of me that misses it. But that doesn’t mean I’m prepared to get involved with a Dom again.”
“What about if it was just for some play? I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m here to do a job and then I’ll be gone. I’m not going to lie and promise forever. There will be things I won’t tell you because of work, but I’m not lying about my reasons for being here or my reasons for wanting to play.”
“Which are?”
“I’m attracted to you,” he stated simply.
“That’s it?”
“In its simplest form. I admire your loyalty to your friend. And your courage, although you do need to know that while I’m here I’ll be doing my best to take care of you. Which means there’s going to be trouble if you deliberately put yourself in harm’s way.”
She didn’t like the sound of that. And at the same time, she did.
Well, she never claimed to be an uncomplicated person. God, was she considering this? Playing with him while he was here?
“Sex?” she asked.
“We can negotiate terms. But like I said, I’m attracted to you. I want you.”
She nodded.
“I always use protection. I’m completely clean also. You know I had to provide medical reports before being cleared to play here.”
“Yeah, I did too even though I never go into the dungeon.”
“What do you say to a trial run tonight? We go into the dungeon and play for a bit. I’ll get you off, but no sex for now. Not until you’re certain. If we both agree to continue on, while I’m here, we can sign a contract.”
She studied him. Seemed a bit too good to be true. Someone to play with, she even got to come, and it was short-term. So, no feelings involved.
“All right, I’ll agree. To tonight.”
Holy shit.
“Good.” A satisfied smile crossed his face. Dear Lord, he was hot when he smiled.
“I don’t have any clothes with me that are suitable.”
“You only have to wear what your Dom allows you to wear.”
“You want me to go naked?” she squeaked.
“Your old Dom never had you naked in front of others?” He sounded like he could barely believe that.
“No. I wasn’t really comfortable with that.”
“And now?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Relax, I’m not going to just order you to strip down right here and now. We need to get rid of some of that tension.”
“What if you do something I don’t like?”
“Tonight, we use the traffic light safe words, you know what I mean?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.”
“Oh, God, you’re one of those aren’t you?”
“Is this another black and white conversation?” he asked in confusion.
“No. I mean, you like to talk everything to death.”
He grinned. “I can tell you think that’s a fate worse than death.”
“I guess . . . It’s just that I’ve had lovers who kept wanting to talk. Who wanted reassurance and direction and I . . .”
“Just wanted them to tell you to strip, lie on the bed, and spread your legs?” he guessed. “Or maybe you wanted them to tie you up, spread-eagled, then push their cock into your mouth.”
Okay, her mouth just went dry. The image of that was so hot.
“I get it. This sort of relationship requires a certain level of trust and communication. It’s all a negotiation. But I can also promise that once we get into the dungeon, the majority of the decisions become mine. All you do is what I command you to do, unless you need to use your safe words. And you will use them.”
She nodded.
“Words,” he demanded.
She sighed. “Yes, Sir.”
“Any phobias or fears I need to know about?”
“It’s not a phobia, exactly, but I don’t think I could stand to be gagged, blindfolded, and bound at the same time.”
“So, you can deal with two but not all three at once?”
“Yes. Just not sure I trust you enough to do that yet.”
She held her breath, hoping he didn’t take offence.
“That’s fair enough. We’ll revisit that later, then. That’s all?”
“No blood play. No whips.”
Playing with him was probably a really stupid idea. She’d be vulnerable. What if things slipped out that she didn’t want him to know?
“Easy, wildcat, your pulse is racing.” She looked down to find he had two fingers over the pulse point on her wrist. “Nothing happens you don’t want to happen. You don’t have to trust me yet. But you know there are monitors everywhere. I won’t gag you, so all you need to do is scream out red and they’ll come running.”
“I know. Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. You sure you want to do this tonight?” He was starting to look doubtful. And she couldn’t have that. Now that she’d made this decision, she couldn’t back down. She might not have the courage or opportunity to do it again.
“I’m fine. I want to do this.”
He studied her, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of her hand. “All right. But just so you know, if I think that it’s all become too much for you, I’m going to call it. And then I’m taking you home and putting you to bed.”
With him in it as well?
Shit, Ria. Get it together. That isn’t what he meant.
Maybe she needed to invest in a better vibrator. Then maybe she wouldn’t feel quite so desperate for his touch.
It was just something people said. Especially over-protective, all-up-in-your-business Doms. They were big on health and safety when it came to their subs. Or at least some were.
Others, like Martin, were all about themselves and getting what they wanted with no thought for anyone else.
“Ria?”
“Okay, I agree. You’ll call it if you think I can’t handle it.” She squared her shoulders. “But I can handle it.”
He cupped the side of her face. “Baby, you’re not going to war. This is for your enjoyment. It’s to help you get out of your own mind for a while. It’s not meant to be something you handle. But something you want.”
“Right. I know that.” She blew out a breath. “You sure you want to do this with me? I’m certain you could find a sub who has a lot less, um, baggage.”
He grinned. “I’m sure I could.”
She narrowed her gaze at him. That wasn’t the answer she’d thought she’d get.
“But they wouldn’t be nearly as fun as you. And I wouldn’t be attracted to them like I am to you.” He ran his thumb over her lower lip. “Talk time is over. But, remember, if at any time tonight you’re unsure, I want you to say yellow. If you’re scared or hurting, then you say red. I won’t be happy if you try to solider through and don’t use your safewords, Ria.”
The stern note in his voice made her tummy warm.
Shit. Fuck. She was in so much trouble.
“Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
His gaze warmed. “Good girl. Come on, let’s go.” He slid off the stool then surprised her by wrapping his hands around her waist and lifting her down. She got the feeling he was hiding some muscle beneath his baggy shirt.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and steered her towards the passage that led to the dungeon. There was a bouncer just through the doorway who didn’t let anyone near the dungeon who wasn’t a member. He didn’t leave his post. Not even when there was a bar brawl going down, apparently.
He nodded his head at Connor then looked down at Ria in surprise.
“Ria, you’re going into the dungeon?”
“She is,” Connor said firmly.
Reveal Me, Sir (Doms of Decadence Book 9) Page 9