by Shayla Black
Tipsy. Drinking wine with Gloria. She’s nice. Are the guys mad?
Her friend hesitated, then finally typed back. Worried.
Do they hate me?
I don’t think that’s possible.
Raine’s reply made Heavenly tear up and question all her decisions again. But she had Dad’s ashes in the car. She had to take care of him first. Then she’d figure out what came next.
Gotta go. I’ll text you tomorrow.
Thanks. Drive safe!
Heavenly tucked the phone back in her purse, her head swaying again. “All done.”
“Good. You were saying?”
“I…don’t remember.” The wine and Gloria’s bombshells had really hit her hard.
“It’s all right.” The other woman took her hand. “Tell me something. Do you have feelings for Ken?”
“Yeah. I have from the very first day.” She sighed. “Same with Seth. It’s been confusing.”
“Because you’re in love with them both?”
Heavenly nodded miserably. “I can’t help myself.”
“Of course you can’t. Love is love, right? Since you’re ass deep in it, maybe you should think about going home and making it official.”
“What do you mean?”
“Moving in. Marrying one of them. Having babies. Being deliriously happy.” Gloria raised a brow. “Would it be so bad?”
To Heavenly, it sounded lovely—but impossible. “It’s a stupid dream.”
“Why would you say that?” Beck’s wife challenged. “You’re all consenting adults. I’m guessing none of this would be confusing if Seth didn’t love you as much as Ken. I don’t see a problem. If you’re worried about what other people will say, they don’t have to live your life. You do, and—”
“It’s not that. The thing is, my father didn’t approve. He told me to find out who I was before I had to figure out who I was with someone else. Or two someones, in this case.”
Gloria raised a brow. “Do you not know who you are, Heavenly?”
“I thought I did but… I’ve been taking care of Dad since I was fifteen. Now that he’s gone, I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Where’s your mother?”
“She left a long time ago.” At the sympathy that morphed Gloria’s expression, Heavenly pushed on. “It’s fine. We didn’t need her. But that meant Dad and I were really close. In one of our last conversations, he told me to see the world and be free before settling down. I can’t ignore that.”
“Is that what you want? Because I’m going to tell you something right now: I’ve been around a long time. How old was your dad?”
“Forty-six.”
“Too damn young to die. Also too young to know everything. I’m older, honey. And trust me, you don’t have to circle the globe to find out who you are or where you belong. That’s in your heart. All you have to do is listen to it. Go on…” She gestured to Heavenly. “Close your eyes. Give it a try.”
She did, picturing herself in a white dress, taking Beck’s and Seth’s hands. It was the last thing she remembered before everything went black.
The second Beck unlocked the door and stepped inside the condo, Heavenly’s lingering scent punched him in the gut. Seth’s mumbled curse left no doubt he smelled her ghost, too. As if sharing the same thought, they strode together to the liquor cabinet. Beck grabbed a couple glasses and fisted a fifth of whiskey. “Well, that was one shitty funeral, followed by an afternoon full of fucked up. I know booze won’t bring her back, but it might—”
“Dilute the sting that she fucking left without really saying goodbye?” Seth drawled as Beck filled their glasses. “Don’t bet on it.”
“I’m not. I’m just looking for something to numb the pain before I start punching holes in the wall.”
“To hell with the walls, I’m ready to get my hands on her ass and spank it purple.”
“Oh, I’m adding that to my list.”
They clinked glasses and lifted the rims to their lips, then drained the smoky liquid. Though it did nothing to ease his guilt or misery, Beck welcomed the burn sliding down his throat and pooling in his belly.
“I owe you an apology since I’m the one who drove her away.”
“Not only is he a gifted vascular surgeon, ladies and gentlemen, but he’s actually smarter than he looks,” Seth announced like a game-show host with a wide sarcastic streak. “Why didn’t you fucking fess up about Gloria before Heavenly saw those papers? If you had, none of this—”
“I know. I’m kicking my own ass.”
“We don’t have a goddamn clue where she is,” Seth bit out. “For all we know, she’s lying in a ditch somewhere, raped and bludgeoned to death. Or maybe she’s still alive, suffering at the hands of some demented psycho who’s tied her up for his sick amusement inside his house of horrors.”
Beck had been trying not to let similar thoughts rattle him since he’d discovered Heavenly gone. Impossible since both of them were aware of the atrocities man could inflict on their fellow humans—Seth because he’d hauled the violent monsters to jail and Beck because he did his damnedest to repair the damage when he saw the victims.
Still, he couldn’t let the PI’s fears strip away what little hope he clung to. “Stop projecting the worst-case scenario.”
“That’s how I operate.”
Seth’s years on the police force had bent his psyche. Was that the reason he’d turned in his badge and become a PI?
“Look, Heavenly is smart. She’s cautious and aware of her surroundings. We both saw how far she walked between that cesspool of an apartment and the seedy-ass bus stop, but she never let herself become a victim.”
“It doesn’t matter how careful Heavenly is. Maybe you don’t get this since all the victims you work on are under anesthesia, but I see them when they’re shaking, wounded, and traumatized. Or when they’re fucking dead. Sociopaths spend years learning exactly how to draw in their prey, then look for tasty morsels like Heavenly.”
A chill slid down Beck’s spine. “You’re not helping.”
“Our girl is out there—god knows where—alone, vulnerable, and mourning. Why the fuck are we sitting here with our thumbs up our asses while we wait for her to check in with Raine?” Seth slammed his glass on the counter, grabbed the bottle of booze, and took a long pull. “And how the hell can you be so calm?”
“I’m crawling out of my skin, same as you,” Beck thundered. “But I’m trying to stay rational. Because what if Raine is right? What if we track Heavenly down, go all caveman on her ass, and strip away the space she needs because we’re paranoid? What happens if we strong-arm her into coming back when she’s not ready?”
“First, being safety conscious isn’t paranoid. Second, she’ll never come back if she can’t trust us. I could understand you hiding shit if you were a closet smoker or had a porn habit. But you didn’t tell her you had a goddamn wife.” Seth raked a hand through his hair and huffed in frustration. “Christ, we never even told her that we love her.”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Hell, yes. Maybe if she knew how we feel—”
“She would only have run away sooner. If you’ll stop this righteous little freak-out long enough to think, you’ll admit I’m right.”
Seth exhaled with a heavy sigh. “Either way, we’re screwed.”
“That’s something we can agree on.” The razor-sharp ache to hold Heavenly clawed through him. He tried to drown it with more whiskey. But hell, he could consume the whole bottle and still feel this pain.
His restless energy wasn’t going away. He cursed, slammed down his glass, and tore out of the room.
“Where the hell are you going?” Seth called after him.
Beck paused. No way was he handing over his man card and admitting that he needed to clutch Heavenly’s pillow and breathe in more of her scent. “To change out of this monkey suit.”
“Good idea.” Seth followed him down the hall.
When they b
reached the bedroom, they both froze in the doorway. The room was devoid of Heavenly and all her belongings, but her scent was ten times stronger here.
“Christ.” Seth tore at his tie. “We can’t escape the torture. She’s in every goddamn breath I take around here.”
“I know.” Still, Beck tried to block that reality as he slipped into the closet and stripped off his suit.
“Your couch is comfortable, right?”
“Why? You plan to crash on it tonight?”
“I can’t go back to my place. And I can’t sleep in here without her.”
Beck couldn’t, either, but he didn’t want to leave the condo in case Heavenly miraculously returned. Seth probably felt the same. And as weird as it sounded, having him here felt right. At least Beck wouldn’t be losing his shit alone.
He tugged on a tee and zipped up his jeans before poking his head out from the closet. “Guess that means we’ll be having another sausage party in the family room.”
“Great,” Seth grumbled as he snatched up his clothes and strode to the bathroom.
By the time Beck refilled their glasses, Seth stepped into the kitchen, suit slung over his arm.
“Grab the bottle, we’ll sit out on the—” Beck stopped short when his phone dinged and he glanced at the screen. “It’s Raine. She sent a text.”
Seth hustled in behind him and peered over his shoulder at the message. Just letting you know that Heavenly has stopped for the night and she’s fine.
Beck tapped back. Where?
As he hit send, his phone began to ring. The display told him Gloria was calling. Jesus, of all the shitty times for her to reach out… He sent the call to voice mail, then stared at the screen until Raine replied.
You know better than to ask. She’s safe and she’s all right.
“Tell her to give us the number of Heavenly’s burner phone,” Seth demanded. “I want to hear her voice myself.”
Beck sent the message to Raine since he’d give his left nut to hear Heavenly, too.
No. I’m honoring her wishes. You two need to do the same.
Beck was still cursing Raine’s stubborn streak when his phone started ringing once more. Gloria was calling again? What the hell? He nearly sent her back to voice mail, but she wouldn’t have called back if it wasn’t urgent.
Shit, what if she’d been attacked again?
Foreboding froze his veins as he lifted a finger to accept the call. “What’s wrong? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Gloria assured. “But you sure sound rattled.”
Tamping down his anxiety, he hissed out a slow breath. “Nothing’s happened to you?”
“No. I’m fine. I didn’t mean to worry you, Kenneth.”
“You never call while you’re working, much less more than once. And you only call me Kenneth if you’re busting my balls. What’s up?”
“I took the night off.”
“Gloria, you never take a night off.”
“That’s your wife?” Seth demanded, edging closer as if trying to overhear.
Beck shoved him away. Nosy bastard.
“Well, tonight is different,” she said.
Beck heard laughter in her voice. “I’ll bite. Why?”
“Do I really need a reason to call my loving husband?”
“Cut the shit. I’m in the middle of an emergency and I don’t have time for—”
“Did I interrupt a surgery?”
“No. This one’s personal. Right now isn’t a good time to chat.”
“You sound very stressed. Almost as if you’ve lost something. Or perhaps…someone?”
Beck’s heart sputtered. “What are you saying, Gloria? Spill. Now.”
“I don’t know if I should put you out of your misery yet. I’m enjoying myself.”
“Goddamn it, woman. Talk to me. If you know where Heavenly is—”
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Where?” When she didn’t answer, Beck growled. “Stop fucking with me.”
“Or what? Hearing you squirm is so much fun. Don’t ruin it for me.”
“C’mon. We’re desperate here.”
“We? You’re with Seth?”
“Yeah.” He frowned. “How did you know that?”
“Oh, because your girl is on my couch. She admitted some really interesting things after a few glasses of wine, Kenneth… Tsk, tsk. You’ve been a very bad boy.”
“You haven’t seen bad yet. Let me talk to her.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Goddamn it, woman!”
“What’s going on?” Seth demanded.
Beck muted the device and whispered, “Heavenly is in Vegas. With Gloria.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” The guy looked stunned.
Beck shushed him and unmuted. “Why is she there? What did she say?”
Gloria chuckled. “She came to apologize for fucking my husband.”
“She did what? Shit. What did you tell her?”
“Nothing about your life prior to the night we met. I promise.”
He had to be grateful for small favors.
“She’s adorable, by the way. And a really cute drunk.”
“You got her drunk?”
“Uh-huh,” Gloria taunted. “That’s why you can’t talk to her. She passed ou—I mean, fell asleep.”
Fuck. “Keep her there. Whatever you do, don’t let her leave. Understand?”
“I’m not one of your subs. I don’t take orders from you—or any man—simply because you’ve got a penis.”
Christ, Gloria wanted to compare dicks right now?
“All right. I’m sorry. Would you please make sure she doesn’t leave? Seth and I will be there as quickly as we can.”
“Of course, sweetheart. But she’s not going anywhere anytime soon since she didn’t so much as lift a lid when Buddy carried her to bed. And before you bitch at me, she’ll be fine once she sleeps it off.”
At the moment, Beck wasn’t sure whether to thank Gloria or strangle her. “We’ll be on the road in two.”
“I’ll see you when you get here. Oh, and Ken? Next time, don’t be such a dumb ass. Tell her you love her.” Without waiting for his reply, she ended the call.
Seth was already in his face the second he pocketed his phone. “Why the fuck is Heavenly with your wife?”
“Gloria is not my wife. Legally, yes. But—oh, fuck it. I’ll fill you in on the way to Vegas.”
Chapter Five
“So let me get this straight,” Seth said as he pulled onto the freeway heading east on 210, toward the desert, just as the sun was setting behind them. “After Heavenly left the funeral, the first place she stopped was Gloria’s? Why?”
“Apparently, she wanted to apologize for sleeping with me.”
That blew Seth away. From what he gathered, Heavenly’s gesture was unnecessary, but it spoke to the purity of her character and made him love her even more. “What did Gloria say?”
“With her, it’s anyone’s guess, but she wouldn’t intentionally fuck this up for me. We’re friends. Hell, she’s my family. Even after the divorce, we’ll be close.”
Seth gaped in confusion. “I know you married for convenience, but how did you go from ‘I do’ to ‘just friends’?”
“We’ve always loved each other, but we were never in love.”
“Because of your fourteen-year age gap? Or because she’s a hooker?”
Beck’s head snapped in his direction. “Jesus, I know you’re a PI, but how fucking deep did you dig?”
“I can unearth facts all day long. Doesn’t mean I understand what’s going on.”
Beck sighed. “Gloria’s age and profession have nothing to do with our divorce. Besides, she’s not a hooker anymore; she’s a madam.”
“But while you were married, she fucked other people for money. That didn’t bother you?”
“No. I fucked other people, too. Not to make a living, but…” Beck seemed to grope for words. “Gloria has thi
s uncanny ability to understand a person’s sexuality. It took her less than a week to figure out I needed BDSM. Hell, I didn’t even know what it was when she introduced me to folks in the lifestyle. They taught me fast, and I was all too happy to play hard.”
“So you stopped fucking each other? I don’t see anything convenient about that.”
“Simple. She needed a bodyguard. I needed a new name.”
A new name? “Because you were running from something? Or someone?”
Beck cut him a flinty glare. “Look, I had a past I didn’t want to carry into my future.”
Seth wasn’t satisfied with his half answer. “I already know Kenneth Beckman isn’t your real name. So who are you?”
“How did you know that?”
Seth shrugged. “I’m good.”
“You’re nosy, and it’s a long story.”
“We’ve got a long drive.”
“I’m not digging up those ghosts for you or anyone else.”
“Not even for Heavenly?”
Beck hesitated. “She knows who I am now. The past doesn’t matter.”
Seth scoffed. “It does if it bites us in the ass.”
“It won’t. It’s been a nonissue for twenty years.”
That didn’t tell Seth enough. Beck had a story—gangs, drugs, murder? He’d get to the bottom of it. If Beck’s sins had been serious enough to require something as drastic as marrying a hooker to change his name, they were significant enough to keep watch. Because he knew all too well that unless everyone who knew anything was dead and buried, the past had a way of rising from the grave.
“Twenty years ago, you were just a kid. What kind of trouble—”
“Drop it,” the doctor growled.
Seth held up his hands, willing to comply…for now. “All right. Then tell me why you two didn’t divorce sooner.”
“We had no reason to until I met Heavenly. Gloria was already dating Buddy. They got engaged over Christmas. I’m happy for them.”
“Does Buddy know about you?”
“Yeah.” Beck laughed. “He asked my permission to marry her.”
Seth raised a brow. “Do you know how fucked up that sounds?”
“In case you missed it, I’ve never been normal.”