She grins, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Felix smiles down at his hands. Maybe his new job will be enjoyable, after all.
Felix wakes to birds twittering outside the window. At first, he squints at the sunlight shining over the landscape posters on the wall, pulling his covers over his head. It’s way too early on a Saturday. All he wants is to huddle in bed until it gets too warm, then crawl out to feed himself.
He hasn’t missed this, working a salaried job where he has to be at the gas station seven to four, six days a week. When he gets off work and the bus drops him near his house, it’s close to evening, and by the time he reaches home, he doesn’t want to cook at all.
He doesn’t have enough time to himself on the weekdays, so it’s nice, lying here, watching the dust motes in the sunlight. He doesn’t have to worry about catching the bus, being on time, making his baggy work shirt fit right...
It doesn’t fit right because he changed his clothing style, because he doesn’t want anyone to notice when he swells with child, and he’s pregnant.
His stomach plummets. Felix whimpers, sliding a hand over his abdomen.
He still can’t believe it. He’s been talking to the fetus, and it’s been a week. And his body is still the same, except the sun is a little too bright, and there’s a new, strange note of honey alongside his lavender scent.
Felix groans, rolling over in bed. “This isn’t happening,” he says. “Can’t this be a dream?”
He grabs the glass of water from the bedside table, gulping a mouthful. Then another, and he looks at his trusty digital clock, scuffed with age. 8:48 AM. Kade will be here at 9.
“Fuck,” he yelps, wobbling. The room spins, and he’s toppling onto the floor in a tangle of sheets, bumping his head on the bedside table, water spilling everywhere. “You’re thirty years old. Why can’t you do things right, goddamn it?”
Tears prickle in his eyes. He scrambles out of the blanket, throwing it back onto the bed. He dashes into the bathroom, twisting the knob of the shower, squeezing toothpaste onto his toothbrush. The entire house smells like lavender and honey. Like a pregnant person. Felix swears, running through the rooms to throw the windows open.
The scent doesn’t dissipate fast enough. He doesn’t have fans to blow the air out, so he hurries back to the bathroom, fumbling through the drawer. Aftershave. Cologne. Air freshener. Window cleaner.
Toothbrush in his mouth, he plods through the rooms, juggling the bottles in his arm. Three pumps of window cleaner in the corners. A splash of aftershave in the doorways. Cologne in the kitchen. Air freshener in every damn room. By the time he’s done, he’s reeling from all the smells, his stomach roiling.
Felix staggers back to the bathroom to rinse his mouth, stepping under the scalding shower. He scrubs himself clean, heart thumping, and drips water all over the floor trying to reach his bath towel. Holy fucking hell, Felix, why do you do this to yourself?
“I don’t know,” Felix says. Will Kade still smell him after the shower? The scent suppressant. He stumbles to the front door, where Taylor’s pill dispenser sits in a crooked, half-full bookcase, plucking today’s tab open. He swallows the round white pill dry. Something rumbles outside, then stops.
Heartbeats later, the doorbell rings.
He almost chokes on the pill. It’s seven minutes to nine! Felix turns to the window, towel around his neck, and peers past the ratty curtains. And there, on his doorstep, Kade’s dressed in a smart red shirt and jeans, his hair combed down, a laptop under his arm.
I can’t let him stand and wait, Felix thinks. What if he gets tired of waiting and leaves? Because he doesn’t want Kade to leave, doesn’t want him turning away. Even if the entire house stinks, and his hair is a mess.
He pads to the front door, his toes wet against the foyer floor, and pulls it open.
Kade meets his eyes. Water drips off Felix’s bangs, sliding down his cheek. “Um,” Felix says.
Mahogany eyes flicker along his body, then coast back up. Cool air prickles along his skin.
Something is wrong. Felix looks down, and realizes the towel draped across his shoulders should be wrapped around his waist. He’s wearing nothing but a towel. Its ends accentuate a vertical strip of his chest, all the way down to his groin.
His cheeks burn. You aren’t supposed to see me like that!
Kade raises an eyebrow. “I interrupted something?”
“My... my shower,” Felix gasps. “You, um, came early.”
Kade’s gaze rakes back down his body, heavy and lingering. Felix should be pulling the towel from his shoulders, holding it over his hips to make himself decent. But that’s where Kade’s attention anchors. Felix’s cock twitches in response.
“Traffic was light,” Kade says, gaze dragging up Felix’s body to meet his eyes. “But I never plan on coming early.”
Kill me right now. Felix spins on his heels, tugging his towel down before Kade sees the telling rise of his cock. But Kade’s attention prickles on him, on the bare skin of his back, his ass, his legs, and Felix can’t decide if this was a bad idea, letting him come over.
The front door clicks shut, sealing him and Kade into the same house. I’m doomed in here, Felix thinks.
Kade coughs violently. “The hell? Stinks in here.”
Felix cringes. Guess you won’t smell me now. Relief sweeps through him. “Really? I was... doing some cleaning.”
“What the fuck,” Kade says. He coughs again, huffing to clear his nostrils. Felix ducks into his bedroom to dry off his wet limbs, his face burning.
I can’t believe I answered the door naked. In front of Kade. He pulls his underwear and clothes out of his closet, stepping into them. They cling damply to his skin, and he squirms, trying to get comfortable.
When the hem of his bulky, knitted sweater falls below his erection, Felix steps out, looking cautiously into the living room. Kade stands in the middle of the unpacked boxes, studying them. Felix winces. He’d said he was going to unpack, hadn’t he? He can’t even be trusted to make promises.
“I’m going to make some coffee,” Felix says. “I haven’t had breakfast yet. Have you?”
Kade turns, raising his brows. He flicks his gaze over Felix’s fresh clothes, lingering on the sleeves falling past his fingers, and the gaping neckline of the sweater. Felix had bought it from the thrift store they visited. “I’ve eaten, but coffee’s fine. Thanks.”
“Right. I won’t be long.” Felix ducks into the kitchen, his skin too tight. Why did he even answer the door? They’ve got nothing to talk about. Things are over between them. And Kade has absolutely nothing to do with the child inside him.
Felix heats two mugs of water in the microwave. While it whirs, he folds his sleeves up and cracks eggs into a pan. Two for me, one for you. Although I’m sure you’ll only need more when you get bigger. He pokes his flat abdomen. It still doesn’t look like there’s a child inside him, even if the tests had all chimed positive.
“Mind if I sit?” Kade says, stepping into the kitchen. Felix shrugs.
Sturdy chairs flank the kitchen table, each chair with castor wheels. Kade plants his laptop over some older burns on the table, his fingers tapping over the keys. While he waits for it to start up, he looks over. It feels as though Kade can read through him, even though his baby bump isn’t showing yet, even though his sweater is far too bulky to reveal anything.
“You look better today,” Kade says.
“Oh. Really?”
“Yeah. You’re not as tense.”
He looks back down, wondering how Kade always sees things he can’t discern about himself. “I didn’t realize.”
Kade shrugs. He connects the laptop cable to a wall socket, before tugging his phone from his pocket. Felix pulls the mugs from the microwave when it beeps.
“Black coffee?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
While the eggs sizzle, Felix turns slightly, peeking at Kade. He hasn’t truly looked at his alpha since he returned to Meadowf
all, hasn’t just watched him being busy, because Kade’s attention had been laser-sharp on him.
Now, Kade’s fingers fly over the keyboard. Felix realizes that he hasn’t seen this in five years: Kade in his kitchen, focused on something on the screen. It had been one of his dreams of his future, sharing a home with this man.
A lump rises in his throat.
Felix swallows, tugging his sleeves down. He scoops instant coffee granules into the mugs, gives them a stir, and sets Kade’s mug beside him. “There.”
“Thanks.” Kade meets his eyes, contemplative.
His heart thumps. Why are you still here? he wants to ask. Instead, Felix returns to the stove, fiddling with the pans.
Hiding is what he does best. But now that Kade has found him again, all he can do is soldier on.
8
Kade
“Smells like cologne in here,” Kade says, looking up when Felix brings eggs, and then cereal over to the kitchen table. He turns his laptop to face them both.
Felix blushes. “I spilled some. Sorry about the smells.”
“It’s fine. Just really stinks.” Which would be tolerable, really, if it didn’t strike him that Felix is trying to hide the scent of something. Did you have someone else over? He draws a deep breath, but all he smells is the sting of cleaning fluid, the chemical sweetness of air freshener. He wrinkles his nose, wishing a breeze would clear the air between them.
Felix heads over with a mug of milk coffee. He settles down next to Kade, their knees bumping. “I’ll avoid spilling everything the next time.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Kade looks over the plates of food, raising an eyebrow. Felix has always liked sweet coffee, but Kade has never seen him eat more than a bowl of cereal for breakfast. “You’re hungry?”
Felix shrugs. “I guess.”
Their knees bump again. Kade focuses on why he’s here—Felix needs help selling his paintings. He shouldn’t be distracted by his omega’s warmth, or the image of him naked at the front door. Most of all, Kade just wants to smell him again. He can’t pick out that familiar lavender scent, and part of him wants to shift his chair closer to Felix, wants to bury his nose in Felix’s neck.
“So, your paintings,” Kade says, yanking his thoughts back to the laptop screen. “I did some research on them.”
“You did?” A hint of pink dusts Felix’s cheeks. “That’s... very nice of you.”
But that’s very nice doesn’t mean Felix wants anything to do with him, so Kade focuses on the motorbike on his laptop wallpaper, pulling up a search engine. “I’ve looked up some sites. There’s places where you can sell prints of your paintings, then there’s sites where you can auction them off. I made a list. Do you have pictures of the canvases?”
Felix stares at him, wonder in his eye. Kade’s cheeks prickle with heat. It’s been five years since Felix looked at him like that.
“I do,” Felix says between bites of egg. “On my website.” He reaches over to the laptop, his fingers peeking out from his sweater sleeves. Kade wants to pull those sleeves back, wants to nose at Felix’s bonding mark. The one he’d left almost two decades ago.
“There,” Felix says, hitting the Enter key. “It’s not much of a site, though. I didn’t really know what I was doing.”
Kade keeps a straight face. The website is terrible—the overlapping buttons, the low-contrast font colors, the outdated storefront...
“I kind of slapped together some basic HTML,” Felix says, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry it looks ugly.”
“It won’t help you like that.” Kade sighs. Does Felix really think this will sell his paintings?
“I’ve mostly done the sales in person,” Felix says, as though reading his thoughts. “At farmers’ markets in Highton, or at galleries. They weren’t too bad.”
“But people need a way to search for you online.” Kade gulps a mouthful of coffee. Still using Baker’s Brew?
Felix sighs. “I know.”
“Why don’t I redo the site for you?” Kade asks, his breath catching when Felix’s eyes brighten. Felix hasn’t needed him in a while. “Email me your hosting details. In the meantime, we’ll set up accounts on the other sales sites.”
“Okay,” Felix says. He shifts his chair closer to Kade, its castor wheels rumbling against the kitchen floor. Kade can’t help turning to sniff at him.
Felix’s arm presses against his, the heat of it dulled by his sweater, but Kade doesn’t mention it. Instead, he takes Felix through the art sites, the auction sites, and even some collectors’ forums so he’ll have a better idea who he can sell his paintings to. Through it all, Felix crunches on his cereal, a trickle of milk collecting on his lower lip.
“So that’s the easier stuff done,” Kade says, closing the internet browsers. “You’ll have to remember to sign in and actually talk to the people on the forum.”
Felix chuckles. “I’ll try. I don’t remember a lot.”
Kade looks at him in question, but he doesn’t elaborate. And now that the godawful scents have drifted out of the windows, Kade smells him a little better.
He leans closer, sniffing at Felix’s ear, then his neck. Felix’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t move away. Kade presses his nose to the loose neckline of his sweater. There’s no sharp, woodsy scent, no smell of grass, only a faint lavender; Felix hasn’t been with anyone lately. Kade relaxes. He hadn’t known he’d been worried about it.
You smell good, he wants to say, but he doesn’t. Instead, he trails his nose up along Felix’s neck, along his jaw. Felix shivers against him.
“We should be working,” Felix whispers. But his nostrils flare, and Kade licks a slow stripe up his throat, kissing his pulse. It flutters against his lips, and he sucks lightly on the skin there. Felix inhales sharply, lifting his chin to allow him access. It means he wants Kade’s touch, even after he rejected the proposal. Kade’s heart thumps.
After all he’s seen this week—Felix hard at the gas station, Felix bending over, Felix standing naked in his doorway—the thought of touching his omega sends desire humming through his body. He slips his hand between Felix’s knees, stroking up his thigh. Felix’s breath hitches.
“Something you want?” Kade murmurs, letting his warmth soak through the rough fabric of Felix’s pants. Felix lifts his hips, his legs spreading further apart. Kade cups his balls through his jeans, runs his thumb lightly along the bulge of his cock.
“Maybe,” Felix whispers, and when Kade glances up, he finds Felix’s pupils dilated, his mouth falling open.
He leans in, trailing the tip of his tongue along Felix’s lip, stealing the droplet of milk. Felix shivers. He isn’t in heat. He’s not desperate for alpha cock, and this means he’s interested in Kade. For a moment, Kade can’t breathe.
Do you really want this? Kade leans in carefully, kissing the corner of Felix’s mouth. His omega could reject him at any time.
“Tell me what you want,” Kade whispers, his pulse in his throat.
Felix moves his lips. He doesn’t answer, instead locking his gaze with Kade’s. So Kade presses their mouths together, licking at the seam of his lips. And Felix parts for him.
Felix wants him closer. Kade growls, slipping his tongue inside. Felix meets him with his own, wet and warm, tasting like milk and coffee. He moans into Kade’s mouth, his tongue sliding hungrily along Kade’s, his fingers pushing Kade’s hand down against his growing cock.
It makes Kade hard, his omega’s cock sliding urgently against him. He slips an arm around Felix’s waist, tugging him closer, holding his legs open. Felix sucks in a sharp breath.
“You’re hungry,” Kade says. Felix’s soft, damp lips drag against his own. “I want to see you hard for me.”
And Felix trembles, his nails digging into Kade’s wrist when Kade unbuttons his pants, pulling the zipper open with a harsh rasp. He hooks his thumb into Felix’s briefs, his knuckle brushing down the side of Felix’s cock. When he tugs Felix’s pants down, his cock juts up, thick
and pink, betraying his arousal.
In the sunlight reflecting off the kitchen walls, the very tip of Felix’s cock pushes out of his foreskin, dusky, a bead of clear fluid gathering at its slit. Kade touches his fingertip to it, smearing precum along the opening of his foreskin.
“I’m... I’m...” Felix wets his lips, watching as Kade swirls his thumb around his tip, rubbing him through his skin. This hasn’t changed, either—Felix likes to be played with. Kade slides his skin down to expose his blunt, gleaming head.
“What do you want?” Kade asks, curling his fingers around Felix’s cock, pumping him lightly. Felix thrusts up at his hand, musk rolling in tiny waves off his skin. It’s stronger than his lavender scent. Kade leans in to nose at the scent gland at his shoulder, dragging his teeth lightly over it.
Felix hisses, his hips jerking up, his cock sliding heavy and hot against Kade’s fingers. “More.”
“If I feel like it.” Kade smears the next droplet over Felix’s tip, working his finger under his skin so it stretches around him. It’s lewd like that, watching Felix’s skin take him in, clinging hungrily around his fingertip. Felix trembles. Kade slides his finger around his head, coating it with precum. Felix bites hard on his lip.
Kade releases him, slipping his fingers into the open V of Felix’s pants. He cradles Felix’s balls in his fingers, lifting them out so they rest on light blue denim, their skin soft and warm.
“Want to see you,” Kade growls.
“This isn’t enough?” Felix whispers. He looks down at himself, his cock and balls exposed, the rest of him all covered up, save for a thin sliver of his hips.
“No. Feet up.” Kade taps on his inner thigh. Felix pulls his legs up onto the seat, spreading them open. He looks vulnerable like that, the sensitive parts of him exposed. Kade smirks, reaching between his legs to trail his fingers along Felix’s cock. “Open my jeans.”
A wave of scarlet sweeps up Felix’s throat. He reaches over, tugging on Kade’s belt, then his zipper. Kade opens his legs, groaning when Felix pushes his small hand into his pants, cool fingers wrapping around his cock. Felix purrs. “Was I supposed to find this?”
The Omega's Secret Pregnancy (Men of Meadowfall Book 1) Page 6