She reached for me, her tiny fingers flexing in grabbing motions, and I moved up, wrapping my arms around her. “I’ve got you, sweetheart. You’re safe.”
I looked up as Karen walked into the room and mouthed for me to come on. I mouthed back, asking where the girl’s mother and father were. Karen’s face fell as she shook her head. They hadn’t survived.
Grief and nausea broke over me. The little girl in my arms couldn’t have been more than five. And just like that, everything she knew was gone. Blown to bits by an asshole with a vendetta and a point to prove.
Now was not the time to break down. I’d trained for this. I built a wall in my mind, barricading the sadness and the pain and storing it away for later.
I let out a long breath and moved back, smiling down at the girl and squeezing her tiny shoulders. “Miss Karen’s going to take care of you, but I’ll be back to check on you shortly. Okay?”
“Okay. Where’s my momma?” She looked around wildly, and my heart lodged in my throat.
“It’s okay. I’ve got this.” Karen moved up beside me. “Aiden wants you in room thirty-four. Now.”
I turned and ran from the room, trying hard not to let the sadness that threatened to pull me under work its magic on me. Aiden glanced up from behind the glass of the operating room he was in as I raced by. Our eyes met, but only for a moment. The need to walk in and wrap my arms around him was a bit too much.
A nurse I’d yet to meet walked into the washroom and helped me with my gloves. She looked shaken, and I wanted to offer her comfort, but I didn’t know her. She might bite my head off, which was the last thing I needed before going in to help Aiden. Something told me that I wouldn’t be shadowing that day but playing his second.
“Good luck. It’s been unbelievable today. Dr. Crawford is on edge, so get ready.” She shrugged and turned, walking back into the small operating room as I followed her.
Aiden glanced up, his goggles in place and his brow pulled tight. “Take over for me. Keep the clamp down and get ready to move when I tell you to. We’re losing this guy fast. He took a pipe to the chest, thanks to the explosion. I’ve removed it, but we need to patch him up fast. You know how to stitch?” His voice was biting as he barked at me.
“Yes.” I moved up and took the clamp as I forced myself into the calm place where nothing mattered but saving lives. I could do this, and I had done it several times over the last few years. New York was a hotbed of activity, both good and bad. The hospitals there were no different.
“All right. On my count.” He looked up at me, and I nodded. “Three. Two. One.”
We moved quickly together, shifting and turning the patient on the bed as we closed him up and shared the responsibility with the nurses of keeping pressure on the right clamps while releasing others. Within half an hour, the man was closed up, and his vitals were looking good.
Aiden let out a long sigh and stepped back. “Great job. Scrub out and see if they need you out there. If they don’t, then meet me back in my office. We’ll talk through some of the things I’ve done today, and I’ll have you write up reports for me. I’m exhausted.”
“Of course.” I turned to go, a little disappointed that I couldn’t stay with him and help with the next thing he had coming up.
“Elizabeth. Great job today. I’m impressed.” He tugged his goggles down and winked at me. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And thanks to you, too.” I ignored the intense fluttering in my chest and washed up, only to turn back and watch him share a laugh with a pretty blonde nurse next to him. I didn’t want to feel jealous, but I did. It was stupid and childish, and I really needed to get over myself. He was too far out of my league to expect anything other than what we had.
Besides, I had bigger things to worry about. Like how to support myself over the next three years with little income and huge student loans. I could push the worry off for only so long before it crept up and pulled me under. I was sure that time was coming and fast.
The ER proved a worthy distraction from my thoughts of Aiden and my jealousy of the laugh he shared with the pretty blonde nurse. More bomb victims had arrived while I was in surgery, and the workload had piled up.
Luckily, St. Mark’s was the sort of hospital that handled intense scenarios well. The chaos was organized chaos. Tight chaos. The sort of chaos that I thrived on because it made me feel like I was right back at NYU with my peers brimming with confidence.
I threw myself where doctors and nurses needed me. Minor stitches. Setting fractures. Seeing to those with concussions and others with burns. It was a messy, wild, seared-flesh smelling two hours, but as the hectic aftermath of the bombing started to slow down, I was filled with a sense of pride.
Which quickly gave way to horror.
The lives of twenty-two people had been forever changed this morning.
I thought of the little girl who was probably in a quiet room somewhere with Karen. I hoped Karen had brought her a pillow and a blanket. I hoped she’d broken the news delicately, and I hoped other family members were en route to comfort the child who had just been told her mother and father were dead.
Even if she didn’t grasp the concept of death yet, she would soon figure out that she wasn’t going to see them again.
I swallowed and pushed through a throng of people in the ER to make my way to the locker rooms. I needed a fresh set of scrubs before I went to see Aiden. I was covered in dried blood that looked dark brown on my purple suit.
When I broke through the doorway, I stopped dead in my tracks.
Sarah Vant had her head in her locker. She wore a knee-length black dress and had her straight black hair slicked back in a severe pony tail. I considered ducking back out into the hallway and waiting for her to finish so I could avoid conversation with her at a time where my emotions were strained, but I decided to hold my chin up and go in anyway. I couldn’t let her intimidate me or keep me out of rooms.
I had to go see Aiden. I wasn’t going to hold him up because I was afraid of her.
As soon as I opened my locker, Sarah noticed me. She let out a strange, soft sound. It was like a combination of a sigh and a grunt. “Jenkins.”
“Hi, Dr. Vant.” I gave her a tight-lipped smile as I pulled my shirt over my head to swap it for a clean one in my locker.
She closed her locker door and came to stand beside me, crossing her arms under her very full breasts and leaning one shoulder on the metal lockers. “I’d barely made it through the front doors before I caught word of the bombing. I also heard you were very helpful in the ER.”
Was she paying me a compliment? “It was brutal. But we got through it. I just…”
“What?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. “NYU doesn’t prepare you for this kind of thing. It’s a whole different level of fucked up. I get it. If you need a minute, take a minute.”
I blinked at her. “I think I’m okay.”
She gave me another smile that felt rehearsed and fake. “Glad to hear it. But if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. I’d hate to see you burn out in your first month.”
Sarah pushed herself off the lockers, nodded her farewell, and slipped out of the locker room, leaving me wondering what the hell had just happened. Was she trying to be nice and be my friend? Was she really offering a shoulder to lean on?
Or was she just inserting herself where she could so she could kick me when I was down later?
Either way, I had to keep my wits about me when she was around.
With a frustrated sigh, I stripped out of my pants, put on my new ones, slammed my locker, and hurried to make my way to Aiden’s office.
14
Aiden
I wrapped up my time in the OR and moved back to my office with a bit of pep in my step. I couldn’t help it. Between saving ten lives that morning and seeing Elizabeth jump into action so well beside me, I was a little in awe. She was every bit as impressive as Peter had warned me she would be. I needed
to tell her.
She deserved to know just how incredible she was. Especially after a morning like this morning.
The sound of her voice stopped me as I approached my office. It was tight, pinched, stressed.
“Mom, I know. I’m trying to figure it out.” Elizabeth sighed, and I could hear her pain. It was a sound I was accustomed to hearing daily. “I’m not calling Dex. Because, Mom. We broke up, and I’m sick of having to ask him for help. I’ll get another job. Yes. No. You’re not getting one. Mom, I gotta go. I honestly can’t do this right now. It’s been a rough day. I know it’s still early. I’ll call you later.”
She got up as I moved to stand in the doorway. I shouldn’t have stood there and watched her, but I couldn’t help myself. She had taken her hair down, and it moved across her back and shoulders as she walked over to the floor-to-ceiling window in my office.
Her face was tucked into her hand, and I could barely hear the sound of her crying, but it broke my heart. I didn’t know this woman, but for the first time in forever, I wanted to.
“Elizabeth? Should I come back?” I hated to have her turn and see me standing there like some kind of creep.
She jerked around and wiped at her face as her shoulders stiffened. “No. I’m fine. Sorry. Just a fight with my mother. She’s worried and all up in my business.”
“Do you need to go?” I walked in and stopped in front of her. There was less than a foot between us, and I knew by the sadness sitting on her that she needed me to reach out, to grab her shoulders, and pull her against me, but I couldn’t. We would end up in a place that I wasn’t yet ready to take us to. She depended on me to maintain the space between us, and I was just barely strong enough to hold that unspoken promise in check.
“No. Really. I’m good. Just stupid shit that shouldn’t be brought into my job.” She wiped her eyes once more and forced a smile. She was beautiful in her softness, her femininity. The strong, tough girl who had been walking around the hospital for the last two days was gone for the moment, but I could sense her trying to regain control.
“We can’t help it when life follows us in here. It’s part of what makes us great doctors, right?” I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and studied her.
“I suppose you’re right.” She smiled and ran her fingers through her thick tresses, teasing me with the desire to want to do the same.
“What can I do to help?” I moved to my desk and dropped down in my chair. “Have a seat and talk to me. I’m not just your mentor here. I’ve been through most of what you have, or so I assume. Sit down and let it all out.” I wanted to know what was plaguing her. I had more resources than I knew what to do with. If she needed a small loan, I could help.
“It’s okay.” She moved to take a seat in front of me as her eyes lit up. “You were brilliant in there today. I enjoyed that so incredibly much.”
“You were too. I’m impressed, and it’s not easy to do. You’ve done it in less than a week.” I chuckled. “I’m sorry that I arrived in time to hear a little of your conversation, and I don’t mean to press, but I’m going to.”
“All right.” She glanced down at her hands, which rested in her lap. “Just don’t think less of me when you peel back a few of these layers, okay?”
Her eyes filled with tears again, and I was shocked by the level of need I had to shut down her sadness, to wipe it away, and cover her in kisses. I wasn’t falling in love, but the connection between us left me hungry for the thought of trying again.
“That’s ridiculous. I’m concerned with you taking on too much and your performance here suffering. You’re at the top of your class here, much like you were at NYU. Doctors are going to notice you, and you want that.” I leaned forward a little. “Why would you think to get another job? Are you not happy here?”
“Oh. That.” She wiped at her face again. “I’m not getting another job in lieu of this one. I need one in addition to it.”
“Why? Are they not paying you enough?” I lifted my eyebrow. The residency didn’t pay great, but it was good, at least from what I could remember.
“Yes, they are. It’s very comparable, but I’m trying to help keep my mother afloat, pay back my student loans, and pay for my place with Stephanie, my roommate.” She shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “I’m one of those kids.”
“One of what kids?” I crossed my arms over my chest and studied her.
“One who didn’t have a father, and my single mother did the best she could.” She shrugged, working to deflect the sadness that went hand in hand with talking about such things. “We were poor. We still are poor.”
I nodded. “I’m not sure I would classify myself as one of those kids. You’re a woman… a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman.”
Her eyes moved up to mine, and I could see that I’d struck a chord with her. I kept moving forward.
“You don’t need to get another job. We can figure this out. I’ll help. If you’ll let me.” I slid my hands across my desk and tapped it. “I was where you were at one time. It’s about time I pay it forward now that I’m not there anymore.”
She shook her head as a look of horror moved across her face. “No. Absolutely not.”
I chuckled as she stood. “I didn’t mean to offend you. Honestly.”
“You didn’t, but I’m not taking money from anyone. If you have another office or a side job I could do, then maybe, but I’m not one to take handouts.” She shook her head, and the smell of her shampoo wrapped around me, driving a stake of desire down through the center of me. It was horrible, but I wanted to help her just so she might like me more, might consider going out with me sometime. I was too old, and Parks was much more her style and speed, but something sat between us. It was something that I wanted to explore.
“Close the door. Please.” I moved around the desk and watched as she got up and walked to the door. Her confidence was all but gone, but I enjoyed seeing this side of her as well. She was in need, and I wanted to provide for her.
She stopped just in front of me. “Dr. Crawford, look—”
“Aiden. Please.” I reached toward her and squeezed her shoulders softly. “Let me help. I want to.”
“I can’t.” She reached up and pressed her hand to my chest, shocking me. It felt good to be touched by her. I just needed her fingers to brush against my skin under my clothes, to feel the silkiness of her exploring me.
“Then let’s come up with a proposition. We’re going to be in each other’s lives for the next three years. We can find a way for you to work the money off, or when you’re a successful surgeon, you can just pay me back.” I released her and took a step back before taking a shallow breath. “Don’t deny my help. Please. I have no one in my life to bless with all I’ve received.”
“Where are your parents?” she asked softly.
“They died when I was young, and I have two sisters, one a successful surgeon and the other a ballerina.” I glanced up at the ceiling, hating how much it hurt to bare my soul to anyone. “I have no one here near me.”
“That’s horrible.” She stayed put, but I could see the desire she had to move closer.
“It’s life, and it’s been by choice, I think. I love it here, as I’ve said before. Let me help you.” I gave her a warm smile.
She nodded just before pinching her bottom lip between her teeth and studying my face. “Not that I’m that great, but what if... what if I gave you my time? My attention? What if I gave you access to me? Would that at all be of interest to you?”
I almost swallowed my tongue. She wasn’t anywhere as innocent as I’d believed her to be. I couldn’t speak as I watched her closely. My body hardened painfully, and I ached to take her up on the offer, starting now.
Her eyes widened as if she was as startled by her offer as I was. “I’m sorry. Forget I said that. I’ve never tried to sell myself for money. I don’t know what I was…”
“Yes, I want that.” I nodded as warmth flooded me. “I don’t know what the det
ails would be, but I’ve spent too many nights with women I don’t know just to feel some semblance of warmth. I want what you’re offering.”
Her cheeks flooded with a beautiful muted red, and I touched the side of her face, forcing her to look up at me.
“But only if you want what you’ve offered. I won’t be comfortable with us sharing ourselves together if you’re not at all attracted to me.” My head was spinning. Were we really having this conversation, or was this just another one of the dreams I’d been plagued with every night? Was I going to wake in an empty bedroom with an aching heart and a throbbing cock? I could barely keep up thanks to the blood pumping through me at breakneck speed.
I willed this to be real.
“I am.” She glanced down and took a shaky breath. “I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Not love, Elizabeth. Lust.” I moved closer as she reached for me, her hands sliding over my hips as she gripped me tightly. “Offer me lust.”
She nodded and moved up to her toes as I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. The kiss was delicious, everything I thought it would be. She groaned low in her chest as I slid my fingers into her silky, thick hair and forced my tongue deep into her mouth. She tasted like berries and coconut, and her shampoo was a bouquet of floral scents that replaced the sterile scent of the hospital.
We were both panting by the time I pulled back, and I had no doubt that I’d found my match in the bedroom if nothing else. The fact that she could keep up so well in my operating room made the idea of taking her late at night even more appetizing.
“Lust,” she whispered. “I can do that.”
“Good. We’re nothing more than what we were five minutes ago when we’re here at the hospital or anywhere in town. Understood?” I gripped her face tightly and leaned down for another long kiss. She opened up to me and pressed herself to the front of me as my insides throbbed with desire.
Between The Sheets Page 9