I leaned forward and rested my chin in my hand. “Any regrets?”
He laughed and sipped his beer. “None so far. It’s been nice to have someone by my side through the harder stuff. You know?”
I almost balked at his vulnerability. Instead, I nodded, trying to look as understanding as possible as the little voice inside my head threatened me: don’t say anything to screw this up.
“Do you remember all of them?” I asked.
He gazed evenly back at me.
“Do you remember every patient you’ve lost?” I clarified.
He sighed and looked out the window. I didn’t know what he was looking at. It was impossible to see outside through the colored glass. “I used to. When I was young, I knew all of them. I used to try to even the scales by saving five people for every one I’d lost.”
“That sounds like it would cause more pain than good.”
His smile turned sad. “Yeah. I needed someone to tell me that when I was young and dumb and desperate to do good in this world. Back when all this was still shiny and new.”
“When you were green like me?” I asked, offering him a warm smile that I hoped melted some of the ice around his heart. I could see it in his eyes. Grief. Pain. Loss.
He felt so strongly for people he didn’t really know.
Aiden sipped his beer. “Yes. My mentor told me over and over that I’d have to find a way to reconcile with losing people. He told me it would get better over time.”
“Did it?”
“No. Not even a little bit.”
I wanted to move around the table, curl up in his lap, kiss his lips and his cheeks and his jaw and his neck, and tell him he was magic. That without him, so many other people would have lost their lives. That because of him, children still had mothers and fathers, and parents still had their babies, and families were whole that could have been destroyed.
Instead, I reached for his hand on the table and rested mine on top. “I think you’re too hard on yourself.”
“I have to be.”
“No.” I shook my head. “You don’t. But you know no other way. There’s no statistic out there that says if you save X amount of people, you’ll redeem those you didn’t save.”
He studied me. His eyes were cool but not angry. It was like he’d shut down all emotions.
I carried on, hoping I wasn’t overstepping. “We don’t get to pick and choose whose punch card runs out. We get to run around like chickens with our heads cut off doing everything we can to buy them more time, but to think we have any more control than that is… well, dangerous. You’ve saved hundreds of lives, Aiden. And saving those lives has probably saved others in the process.”
He gave me a lopsided smile that I knew was forced. “Tell me that again five years from now.”
I sat up a little straighter. “I know it’s going to be hard. And I know I’m going to cry myself to sleep some nights. Maybe for weeks. I already have. But it’s not going to stop me from putting my scrubs on every day and marching into that hospital to face the storm. Just like it hasn’t stopped you. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
His eyes narrowed. “I don’t like how the tables are turning here, resident. I’m your mentor. Not the other way around.”
I smiled, and my cheeks burned. “I’m sorry. I guess all I’m trying to say is that I respect the hell out of you, Dr. Crawford. And I’m so thankful you accepted me as your resident.”
Aiden’s eyes flicked back and forth between mine. Then in a smooth motion, he lifted his beer in a toast. “Here’s to the best damn decision I ever made.”
My cheeks burned hotter, and I lifted my beer as well. My insides were warm and fuzzy, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was talking about my residency or about our relationship—or whatever this thing between us could be called.
Our agreement.
It didn’t matter. I was glad for any amount of time I could spend in his company.
And in his bed.
26
Aiden
It was a little hard to believe that I was on a date with a woman like Elizabeth. But there I was, sitting across from her. She sipped her second beer and watched the live band take to the stage across from the bar to play upbeat familiar rock tunes that had the place buzzing with energy.
She looked beautiful. The light streaming in through the stained glass painted her skin in a blue glow. She looked otherworldly and out of reach of a man’s hands like mine. But all I had to do was reach for her and I could touch her. Hold her.
Her foot tapped on the floor to the beat of the music. In this place, she wasn’t the doctor I was training but the girl I was falling for, and I wanted to show her a good time. So, I stood up and offered her my hand.
“Want to dance?”
She looked from my hand up to my face. “Are you serious?”
“Why wouldn’t I be serious?”
She leaned sideways to peer around me and at the dance floor. A couple of other people had taken to the floor and were swirling around it with effortless ease as the tempo quickened. “It’s the middle of the day.”
“Why should that mean we can’t dance?” I asked.
She drew her bottom lip into her mouth, and her eyes flicked to her beer. As a smile stretched her cheeks, she picked up her beer, drained the last quarter of the glass, and then slapped her hand into mine. “Screw it. Lead the way, doctor.”
I wasn’t much of a dancer. Never had been. But that didn’t matter much. With a woman like Elizabeth twirling around me and pressing her back to my chest, it didn’t matter how messy my moves looked. If anyone cared enough to watch, they’d be caught up in watching her. She was all grace and poise on the dance floor, and she looked like she belonged on it. Her eyes lit up with joy, and her smile was bright and wide as she turned her face to the ceiling and spun in a circle, arms outstretched, until I spun her into my chest and held her to me.
“You’re a bit of a freak, you know that?” I teased.
“I haven’t gone dancing in a long time. And never this early in the afternoon.”
I leaned in to press my lips to her ear. “I don’t think I’m going to last long with you moving like that.”
“Like what?” she asked, cocking her head to the side as she ran her hand down my chest and then along the waistband of my jeans.
I caught her wrist and squeezed. “Don’t play games with me, woman.”
“I like games.”
She was wicked in the best way. I shook my head at her. “This is not the place for me to—”
“To what?” she challenged, turning around and rolling her ass against my groin. Her hair filled my nose with the scent of coconut, and I wanted to take her by the hips and hold her to me, but this wasn’t the place for that. The other dancers were other couples, and everyone was behaving well.
Except for us.
I drew her hair over her shoulder and pressed my lips to the side of her neck. “You are going to be in trouble for this.”
“Are you going to punish me?”
I growled.
She giggled. “Is that a yes?”
I grabbed a handful of her ass. She let out a breathless sigh and leaned her head back against my shoulder. Her hips swayed and my cock twitched, and every muscle in my body screamed for me to take her.
Now.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” I said.
Elizabeth nodded.
I took her by the hand and led her off the dance floor. We wove through other couples and then through tables until we broke through the front door and emerged out on the sidewalk. The evening air was cool and refreshing, and I drew in a deep breath through my nose. Elizabeth followed me to the curb where I threw my arm out to hail a cab.
“What about your car?” she asked, tipping her head back to look up at me.
“I’ll come back for it in the morning. Or I’ll send someone for it.”
“Send someone for it?”
I nodded. “Bei
ng a reputable doctor has its perks. Don’t worry, young grasshopper. You’ll get there one day.”
She threw her head back and laughed. The sound was music to my ears.
A yellow cab pulled over. I opened the back door and let Elizabeth slide in front of me before following her into the back seat. I gave the driver my address, who cast a look over his shoulder at Elizabeth.
Had his gaze lingered a moment longer, I would have told him to keep his eyes on the damn road.
As we made the drive back to my place. Elizabeth leaned into my side to rest her head on my shoulder. She let out a content sigh, and when I looked down at her, I found her eyes were closed.
Without realizing what I was doing, I pressed my lips to the top of her head. She cooed and nuzzled in closer to my side, wrapping her arms around my bicep. I rested my cheek on her head and breathed in the floral and coconut of her shampoo.
I could have stayed in that moment for hours longer.
The cab driver let us out in my driveway. I paid him cash and left a decent tip, and then I wrapped an arm around Elizabeth and walked her up the drive to the front door. Letting us in, I held her steady as she kicked her shoes off.
“The best part of any night,” she said, stretching to the tips of her toes to stretch her arches.
“The best part, huh?”
She blushed. “Well. Almost the best part.”
As we walked down the hall to the bathroom to brush our teeth, she let out a deep yawn. My girl was sleepy and understandably so. She’d been busting her ass at the hospital, and when she wasn’t hustling at St. Mark’s, she was hustling in my bed.
I smirked to myself.
She’d earned her sleepiness.
We brushed our teeth together. That was a first for me. I’d never stood in front of my bathroom mirror with a woman beside me doing such a mundane task. I watched the foam in the corners of her mouth and the way her nose twitched as she ran the toothbrush over her teeth.
Adorable. Like everything else she did.
Elizabeth put her hand on my shoulder when she was done. “I’ll meet you in there?”
“Sure. I just want to shave.” I had an early shift tomorrow, and being clean shaven was a hospital expectation and rule.
She padded out of the bathroom, and I shaved quickly. I didn’t want to miss out on any time with my girl. Just thinking about her lying naked in my bed was getting me all hot and bothered. My cock had swollen inside my jeans, and the strain was getting uncomfortable. I needed a release. I needed her hands all over me.
I needed her to help me stop thinking.
I patted my face dry with a hand towel, flicked the bathroom light off, and went to join her in the bedroom.
The only light in the room was the lamp on my nightstand. Elizabeth was curled up on her side on her side of the bed. Her eyes were closed, and she had one hand tucked under her pillow.
Her breathing was slow and steady and deep.
“Damn it,” I muttered as a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.
She needed rest. It outweighed my desperate need for her body and her touch by a landslide. I slid into bed beside her and turned on my side to drape an arm over her hip. She wiggled herself backward in her sleep, resting against my chest, and we fit together perfectly.
I closed my eyes as we shared a pillow.
This was an evening full of firsts for me.
27
Elizabeth
I woke to soft kisses on my shoulder.
“Are you awake?”
I moaned softly as I stretched my legs out and rolled onto my back.
Aiden was beside me. There was a grin playing on his handsome face as he drew my hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. “You fell asleep on me last night.”
I rubbed at my eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how tired I was.”
“You needed the rest.”
I propped myself up on my elbows. “And now that I’ve had it?”
He chuckled deep in his chest as he gazed up at me. “I think you know what.”
I gazed into his eyes.
Good lord. I was in trouble.
This man was my mentor. He was the one who was supposed to be my professional leader, not my lover. And yet, I was falling head over heels for him, despite knowing there was no happy ending for us.
How could there be?
Our careers were top priority to the both of us. To expect or want him to abandon his and choose me was selfish and a double standard. I doubted I would give it all up for him. Not after all the hard work I’d put in to get here. And not with my mother relying on me to make her life better.
I rolled on top of him, swinging a leg over his hip to straddle him. I pressed my hands to his chest to push him down into the mattress. “You’re going to ruin me, Dr. Crawford.”
He grabbed my hips and squeezed. “No, baby. I’m going to make you.”
Heat bloomed below my belly. I rocked my hips in his lap.
Aiden let out a low growl. “Who said you got to be on top?”
I paused, feeling his cock growing stiff between my thighs. “Tell me where you want me, boss.”
He pulled and pushed at my hips, sending me back into motion on top of him. He reached up to caress my breasts, and his eyes grew hungry. “I want you here. I want you to ride me until you come. And then I’m going to take you on your knees.”
I shuddered.
Breaking the rules had never been my forte. But this?
This was delicious.
I reached back and took his cock, lifting him up to guide him toward my pussy. He took hold of my hips again, holding me up as I lowered myself on top of him.
“Fuck,” he grated, pulling me down the rest of the way and forcing himself deep inside me.
I let out a moan. The pressure was intense as he filled me up.
He pushed and pulled at me again, and I braced myself on him, trying to lift myself up. It was too much too fast.
“Relax,” he breathed. “Take it all, baby.”
I wanted to. For him. I breathed out and took all of him, and then I rolled my hips, feeling him pressing into me. I hung my head back as he slowly thrust beneath me, driving up nice and slowly as he reached down to rub my clit.
“That’s it,” he whispered.
I worked him over. I bounced on his cock until I came hard and fast. Then he wrapped an arm around my waist and rolled me over, dropping me roughly to the mattress beneath him.
I stared up at him as he braced himself above me. I traced the lean muscles in his arms and shoulders with my fingertips as he entered me. He didn’t last long before he had to pull out, lean over to the nightstand, grab a condom, and roll it on.
Then we were right back where we left off.
He rocked above me, thrusting deeply and slowly. I moaned with delirious pleasure and clutched at him. He hovered above me, dropping down to leave kisses along my throat and over my chest.
I pressed my nails to his back and ran my hands down to his hips. I pulled him deeper into me.
“Harder,” I whispered.
He let out a primal growl. Then he grabbed me and flipped me over. I went face first into the sheets. He wrapped an arm under my hips and hauled me up to my knees as I tried to get my bearings. He didn’t wait for me to lift myself up before he entered me, driving in deep.
I cried out into the sheets.
He grabbed a fistful of my hair and held me down as he fucked me. I gripped the bedding and cried out with pleasure until it became too much, and then I gave in, letting my climax break over me and turn my legs to mush.
Aiden broke shortly after.
We collapsed onto our backs on the bed to catch our breath.
As I stared up at the ceiling, I could feel his eyes on me. I closed my eyes and smiled. “What?”
“You’re too sexy for your own good. You know that?”
I giggled and turned to look at him. His cheek rested on his pillow, and his eyes bored into mine
. “Stop trying to get in my pants with flattery. You know you can have me whenever you want me.”
Aiden propped his head up in his hand. “Damn straight I can.”
“I still can’t believe we’re doing this.”
“Me neither. That reminds me. I sent an ACH to pull down your debt.”
I sat up and blinked at him. “What?”
He shrugged. “You’re worth it. I presented your case, pulled some strings, called in some favors. It’s being done. And I transferred more into your account as well.”
“That’s too much, Aiden—”
“No.” He shook his head sternly. “It’s not. This was part of our agreement.”
Agreement. Right.
I nodded. “Thank you.”
I kept forgetting that this was a deal. A bargain where he could have his needs met and I could get out of my terrible financial situation. Falling for him was never supposed to be part of the arrangement.
I had to keep my head on straight. There was a good chance I was the only one being reckless enough to let my feelings get in the way.
Although he sure seemed like he was getting invested too.
Maybe that was my hormones making me think that way. Maybe it was all in my head.But yesterday sure felt like a date. And it definitely seemed like he was enjoying himself just as much as I was. Surely, I wasn’t the only one falling.
“I owe you,” I said.
He shook his head. “No. We’re more than square.”
I bit my bottom lip and ran my fingers down the middle of my chest before tracing my nipple. “I owe you,” I said again.
He chuckled. “You sexy vixen.”
“Are we going to drive into the hospital together?”
“I can’t see why we shouldn’t.” He reached for my hip.
I licked my lips. “Can we shower together?”
He nodded toward the bathroom. “After you. I want to watch that ass of yours as you walk away.”
I giggled and rolled off the bed to walk languidly to the bathroom. I paused in the doorway, resting on hand on the frame, and looked back over my shoulder. His eyes wandered over me from head to toe and back up. “Are you coming, handsome?”
Between The Sheets Page 16