"Lee, look at me, baby." He turned her toward him again. "I know you feel God betrayed you. I can't tell you why you lost Wess and your daughter the way you did. None of us will ever understand the timing of God's plan. We just can't."
He wiped her tears away. "But I do know those two are happy and healthy, and Wess is looking on you now with the same old love he always had for you. And he's not a bit worried about what God did and why. Wess knows, and he's okay with it. If anything makes Wess sad, it's seeing you the way you are. He wouldn't want you angry at God and feeling so broken hearted."
Jesse sighed. "You've got to let it go, baby. Mortal death is part of life—a tiny part, because we have life again with our Father in Heaven. A life that goes on and on forever. Life here is just a little old speck of the life that He gives us." He kissed her tears away, and stroked her hair.
She nodded but couldn't speak.
He kissed her softly, trailing kisses down her neck and nibbling until she laughed. He moved up to her ear. "You beautiful thing. No more crying tonight." Lifting her shirt, he kissed her belly button, and she squealed and flipped over on her tummy. He straddled her butt, rubbing her back and shoulders.
She groaned with pleasure.
He said, "I remember that feeling."
Gradually relaxing under the sure strokes of his strong hands, her back melted under his touch. He scooched down and moved to her lower back. God, it felt good.
When he finished, he lay on his side next to her and she turned over, facing him. She caressed his cheek, running her thumb across his lip. "Jesse, make love to me."
And, he did, with a slow and gentle rhythm that soothed her soul.
Chapter Twelve
LEE SWUNG HER LEGS out of bed and yawned. Jesse had gone home to change, and she missed him already.
Before she started on anything else, she had to call Cheri. Lee had received two borderline-hysterical voice mails saying if she didn't call Cheri, Lee would pay big time. Her friend begged Lee to catch her up on tall-dark-and-handsome. She grinned. Having a drama queen in her life was such a burden sometimes.
After making coffee, she scrolled to her Cheri short cut, punched it with her thumb and crossed herself.
Two rings later, Cheri exploded on the line. "Dammit, Lee! If you didn't call me first thing this morning, I was coming over there and kicking your ass. Why in the hell didn't you return any of my calls? I worry about you and besides, you can't keep secrets from me. At least, not for long. Now talk, and don't give me any excuses about needing to be somewhere."
Lee burst out laughing. She didn't know why she'd ducked Cheri's calls. Most likely it was because Lee wasn't sure how she felt about her relationship with Jesse.
Cheri griped, "Hey, it's not funny! I've been worried about you, girl. Now tell me what's up."
Lee said, "Well, you won't believe this, but I've gone and fallen in love. I know it's crazy. It's so soon. But he's the most ... sincere, kind, loving, magical man I've ever known.
She sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I love Wess with all my heart, and I'm not comparing Jesse to Wess. They're so different that there's no way to compare. Wess was steady, loving, calm, supportive, and fun in ways I loved."
Biting her lip, she searched for the right words. "Jesse has those characteristics, but he's also like ... like he knows me better than I know me. He's so gentle, and he knows God in a way I've never experienced before. It's like I have a fairy Godmother who sprinkled me with fairy dust and Jesse walked into my life."
Cheri stayed silent.
Lee waited for her to say something. When she still didn't speak, Lee freaked out. "Tell me I haven't lost my mind. Am I being totally stupid?"
Cheri sniffed and blew her nose before saying, "Honey, I've waited so long for something like this. I couldn't make it better for you no matter how hard I tried. Hell no, you didn't lose your mind. I need to meet this Jesse."
Now Lee was crying, too. "I guess I'll have to arrange that, won't I? I'll invite both of you over for dinner."
Cheri made a rude noise. "Fine, but no microwave dinners. I eat enough of those at home."
Lee laughed. "Okay, it's a deal. I'll see you soon."
She checked her watch. Her mom and dad should be up drinking their coffee. Crap, she dreaded this one. She went several weeks without calling, then decided to drop this bomb shell on them?
After five rings, her mom picked up. "Hello, dear. How are you?" The benefits of caller I.D. were still new to her parents.
"I'm fine, Mom. Sorry it's been so long since I called."
"Well, I'm glad to hear from you, honey. So, tell me what you've been doing and how everything's going out at the ranch."
Lee took a deep breath. "Well, life's the same as ever—cows are having babies, ponds are low, losing a cow here and there. The same old stuff. Except for one thing, and I'm sorry I'm just now telling you, but it's all happened kind of fast." She stopped there, unable to figure how to describe her relationship with Jesse.
"Honey, what's happened so fast? Is everything okay? Is something wrong?"
"Oh, no, nothing's wrong. In fact, it's right. I mean ... oh, dammit. I've met a man, and I really think I care for him."
That came out all wrong. She couldn't describe Jesse and what she felt for him in any way that made sense. Maybe it didn't make sense. Why the hell did she think she needed to call her parents this morning?
Her mom spoke quickly. "Oh, honey, that's wonderful! I've been praying for something like this."
Didn't her mom have any questions or think this was way too soon or that Lee should be careful? Or, had Lee been worrying about nothing? Dizzy, she felt like she needed to sit down, but she was sitting down. "Mom, I'm glad you're not mad ... or something. I feel kind of confused. But I'm happy."
Lee took a sip of cold coffee. "His name's Jesse Kincaid. He's Bob and Beverly Kincaid's son." Then she told her mom all about him.
"Honey, I'm putting your daddy on the line. He's standing right here."
Oh, shit. "Hi, Dad. I guess you heard the news.
"I was listening next to the phone when you talked to Mom, and I'm happy for you, honey."
"He's really great to me. I care a lot for him."
"That Bob Kincaid was a good man. Any son of his is bound to be a good man, too."
Though on the phone, Lee nodded. "Jesse sure loved him."
Her dad said, "Sweetheart, we love you. You take care, now, and come see us real soon, okay?"
"I love you too, Dad. I'll come by, I promise."
Lee blew out a breath. Those two phone calls had taken a year off her life. Hell, she needed another cup of coffee.
Sitting down at the table again, she considered the rest of her day. Soon she'd need to make a run through the Knox County, 222 and 3109 pastures and pull out all the older heifers and bring them down to Mad Dog. That was a royal pain, and she'd need Jesse's cowboy skills for that chore. It was one of those things she used to hire an old timer named Silas Briscoe to help her with.
It was time to put out more hay in the pastures, too. She'd do that today and throw some feed while she was at it.
It took her the rest of the morning to put out hay and feed at the heifer pasture and at the 183 and 283 pastures as well. She headed back to the ranch house, deciding to stop for lunch before finishing up in the home pasture.
At the house, she kicked off her boots and pulled off her socks, so hot she wanted her bare feet on the cold tile floor. Taking a bottle of water out of the fridge, she chugged half of it before coming up for air. She needed to rest for a bit before fixing something to eat. Sitting in a kitchen chair, she leaned her head on the back and closed her eyes.
She was scared now that everyone knew about her relationship with Jesse. What if something went wrong, and it turned out to be nothing—just a fling? Or, they decided they weren't right for each other? Her pulse raced. Sighing, she realized she was being stupid. Cheri was supposed to be the drama queen in her life.
&
nbsp; Lee pulled out her phone, staring at the blank, dark screen. With a sigh, she scrolled to Jesse and punched it.
"Hey, what's up? Everything okay?" he yelled as the dozer roared.
Like a complete idiot, she couldn't think of anything to say. She almost hung up, but that would scare him. Damn, the silence was scaring him. "Jesse, I..."
He turned off the motor. "Sweetheart, how did you know I was missing you like crazy right now?"
Oh, God, he understood. "Well, actually, that's why I'm calling. I'm missing you. And ..." She ran out of words again.
Pulling her thoughts together, she said, "Jesse, I'm scared, and I'm happy, and I'm ..." Dammit! Why couldn't she put two sentences in a row?
Jesse waited a few seconds. "Lee, honey, you're fine. Being scared is part of starting something new. I'm new. You and I together, that's really something new. Relax and go with it. I promise you, I won't let you down. I can't tell you I'm never going to die. But I can tell you I'll be here with you until the day I die. I promise you that."
He paused for a moment. "I want you to do me a favor. A big one. Please find some time today to talk to God. Leave your fear with him and let go of your hurt. Try it for me, butterfly."
She kept silent. He was such a wonderful, loving man. His voice had taken her anxiety away. Sighing, she said. "All right. I love you, Jesse. I'm sorry I bothered you while you were working, but I'm so glad you answered."
"Honey, you call me when you need me, any time, day or night. I love you, too."
Pulling a yogurt from the fridge, along with a peach and another bottle of water, she was thankful for the weight that had lifted from her since talking to Jesse. Then she remembered the homework he gave her. Eww. Things didn't end well when she talked to God. Their days of loving conversations were long in the past.
Sitting at the kitchen table, she munched her peach down to the pit and scraped the last of the yogurt from the container, losing her last excuse to put off what she'd promised.
Exhaling loudly, she covered her face and concentrated. This sucked. Jesse owed her for this. She cleared her mind and breathed evenly and slowly, in and out. Finally, she prayed aloud. "Dear God, it's been a while since I've spoken to you, and you sure as hell know why." Wait, back up ...
"Dear God, I don't want to talk to you, but Jesse thinks I should try, so here I am. I'm not sure what to say. I've pretty much said it all. I don't agree with what you did to Wess and Megan and I sure as hell ..."
Oh, this was hopeless. She rubbed her face hard, trying to clear her anger at God from her mind, then walked a few circles around the kitchen.
Sitting back down, she scrubbed her damp palms on her thighs. Clasping her hands together, she closed her eyes. Determining a different strategy, she began. "Dear God, I thank you for the healthy cattle in my pastures, and for finding all but one of my cows up at 222. I thank you for the water in my ponds and for having enough pasture to feed my stock right now. I thank you for my new calves and for Chowser, the little rat. I thank you for the lives of both of my parents and for Cheri's friendship. Lastly, God, I thank you for putting Jesse in my life. It's a mystery to me that he's here. But why you freaking took my daughter and stole a good man from me, making him suffer so bad ..."
Back up ... she took a deep breath. "Like I was saying, thank you for sending Jesse to me, God. I don't have words to describe the ways that he's special. I don't understand you, God. I just don't understand you ... I don't understand ..."
Tears streamed down her face, and she dropped her head on her arms, missing her Wess, grieving for Megan, hating God, loving Jesse, lost and alone, hating God, missing Wess, miserable and alone ... Her tears finally slowed. Shit. She hated crying.
Sniffing, she began again. "Dear God, thank you for sending Jesse into my life. It's a mighty blessing that I don't deserve. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for caring for me. I don't forgive you for Megan and Wess. Jesse said we'll never understand your timing. I've been told that since I was a little girl in Sunday school. It's different living it. I don't like it, God. I don't freaking like your timing. I don't like that you took my baby so young and that you let my Wess hurt the way you did and I don't understand it. But, for Jesse, and I guess for me, I'll think on it. In Your Son's Name I pray, Amen."
She got up, wrung out and weak, and laid down on the couch. Chowser's worried eyes had followed her through this whole affair. He settled at her feet, glad, she was sure, for peace and quiet.
An hour later, she grabbed a couple of cold waters from the fridge and pulled on her boots. "Come on, boy, we've got one more pasture to go today."
Loading a round bale from the barn stack on the hay truck, she headed out the gate into the home pasture, far into the back near the remains of the previous one. While the bale hung from the fork on the truck, she pulled out her knife and started slitting the mesh in a straight line.
A puff of air whipped past her cheek.
Thwack! A chunk of hay flew from the bale next to her head.
A rifle shot cracked through the air.
She ducked and rolled, crawling for the cover of her truck.
Another shot split the air as rocks shattered a foot from her.
She scrambled under the truck and slipped to the other side, hiding behind the tire. The bastard was on a small ridge quite a ways away, or he'd probably have nailed her.
He plinked one into the door. Asshole! And then aimed a ricochet up under the truck. Damn that was close!
Squatting on the passenger side of the truck, she moved over and opened the door. A shot shattered her back window. She lay flat on her back across the seat and grabbed her cell phone from the center console. Crouching on the ground behind the wheel again, she dialed 911.
"Sheriff's department, what's your emergency?"
"Gwen, this is Lee Granger. Listen, some bastard's taking pot shots at me with a rifle. I'm pinned down at my truck near the back of my home pasture in the clearing where I drop my hay. The road leads you east back here from my barn. Send Cody. The guy may try to get out by the back gate off 283. Can you send someone over there, too?"
"You got it, Lee. I'm sending help now. Do you have a gun with you?"
"My rifle, but I can't use it. He's got me pinned down."
"Okay, sit tight and be safe."
With no shots in the past few minutes, the gunman may have gone, but she wouldn't risk looking. A coward like him would love nothing better than her sticking her head out. After another few minutes she pulled a stick from under her truck and stuck her hat on it, slowly raising it toward the flat bed of the truck. Just as the crown cleared the top, it went flying about ten feet as a loud shot sounded in the afternoon air. Son of a bitch! She wanted this bastard bad.
The asshole popped off several more shots at and under the truck, and then nothing more happened.
In a little while sirens wailed from far off. Why did Cody go and do that? Now the bastard knew the law was coming. He'd leave for sure.
Hell, she was sure Cody thought he was saving her, scaring the shooter away, but she'd rather catch the sorry son of a bitch instead. She hoped Cody had sent someone ahead to watch that back gate. An engine roared from not far away and headed off. Dammit.
About ten minutes later, gravel cracked and popped as Cody raced down the pasture road. She opened the door of the truck, laid on the seat, and took out her rifle, letting a shot off in the air. She didn't want Cody coming in there blind and getting his head shot off.
Cody jammed on the brakes, then his door slammed. "Lee, you over there?"
She called, "Cody, I'm just around the bend. He's got me pinned down here at my truck. He hasn't shot in a while. You got someone on that gate?"
"Yeah, Sonny's over there."
"How long's he been there?"
"About five minutes or so, I guess."
"Well, the bastard may be gone. I heard an engine a few minutes ago. I heard you coming with your damn siren and all, too."
"Where was
he at?"
"Up on the little ridge line. It's pretty far."
"Hang on, Lee."
She squatted on the ground by the tire, her rifle in her arms, hoping the guy didn't get away.
"Lee, Sonny says the shooter's gone. There are two tracks, looks like from a motorcycle, and the gate's wide open."
Well, dammit to hell. She rested her rifle against her forehead. She was getting the hell out of there.
When she pulled around the bend, Cody waited for her, and she got out to shake his hand. Her truck looked like it had been through a war zone.
He grasped her shoulder. "Holy shit, Lee. Thank God he didn't get you. Why don't you head on back to the house, and I'll go up to the ridge line and collect casings—if he left any—and check for boot prints."
"Let me know what you find." Chowser had a good head on his shoulders. He'd stayed safe on the floorboard through the whole mess. She glanced at the back of the truck. Dammit! She hadn't dropped the hay for the cattle.
She backed up and turned around, driving to the clearing. The wedge of hay that had been knocked out when the bullet passed near her head was obvious. She shivered in reaction. Pulling out her knife, she hacked savagely at the mesh. Damn that bastard to freaking hell and back!
At the house, she headed straight to the shower, standing under the hot stream and hearing the thwack in the hay as the sound of the rifle assaulted her ears. She sank down against the stall and let the water run over her until it turned cold.
The still house surrounded her as she dried off and put on a clean t-shirt and shorts. In no hurry, she poured a glass of wine and curled up in the old recliner. After a few sips, she punched Jesse's number.
He turned off the dozer. "Hey, I'm a lucky man. Twice in one day I get to hear my sweetheart's voice."
She exhaled slowly. Again, what to say? Now that she sat safely at home, what happened was too bizarre to put into words. "Jesse ...?"
"I'm here, honey."
"The weirdest thing just happened. Cody's out in the pasture looking for shells and anything else he can find. The home pasture, back in the back. What I mean is ... somebody took some shots at me. Pinned me down while I was putting out hay and shot up the truck bad." She went on to tell him everything that happened.
True-Blue Texas Cowboy Page 14