by Shiloh White
I stood there for a moment, feeling like a giant chunk of me fell with him.
“Lucas…”
“Yes, yes, quite the unplanned tragedy,” Damian said, “but there are much more important things to carry on with. Like your death, for example—”
I didn’t wait to hear the end of his sentence. There was a tug in my gut, and my body moved all on its own. I gripped the paintbrush and my arm shot out, the paint whip extending and flying straight into Damian. He tried to block it with his smoke, but I pushed as hard as I could with the whip, shoving Damian back until the end of the whip slid down and crashed into the ground. When it did, the ground shook all around us. The tremor caused Damian to lose his footing and brought him to the ground. The grayness surrounding my legs fell to the ground. I was free now.
I was about to swing at him again when I noticed the tremor caused something else. Some of my paintbrushes shot out of the grayness near where Damian dumped them out. But that wasn’t even the weirdest part; each of the paintbrushes was floating in midair!
A purple and a blue paintbrush flew over to me, and started drawing in a loop around my broken foot. I didn’t recognize the designs at all, but my foot felt better all of a sudden. As the paintbrushes did their work, they splattered paint on the ground that the grayness didn’t absorb. Before I could figure out how to explain why, more paintbrushes flew over to me. They covered my arms and legs in more patterns, making me feel refreshed. Full of energy, even.
In front of me, Damian stood up and laughed. “I’m surprised at the power you’ve gained over your Handle so soon.” he said smugly. If I was anything short of an emotional mess because of him, I might have asked if what was happening was really my Handle. “Shut up,” I told him. “It’s your fault Lucas is dead!”
“I’ve said it twice now,” Damian sighed impatiently, “it was not the plan. Although, it does seem to be affecting your emotions nicely. My friend should get a good kick out of all of this.”
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I ran at Damian, screaming at him as I raised my paint whip. When I did, the other paintbrushes swirled around the yellow one, making more whips. Definitely helpful. I swung at Damian with all the force I could push through my arm. As they flew at him, he started to put his hands up but stopped halfway. I thought I saw something; a blank expression weaving its way onto his face. I might have imagined it. Unfortunately, whether I did or not, I hesitated for just a second too long.
Damian’s hands continued to shoot upward, launching grayness out of them. It swirled around him, quickly molding into a solid black dome.
Each whip of paint smashed into his dome, sending a shock wave through the Zone with each hit. I pulled back and swung again and another flurry of hits bombarded the dome. The shock waves continued to shake the ground, making it hard to stand. But Damian’s dome held fast.
“You kidnap my sister, kill my brother, and now you’re going to hide?” I yelled. “Are you afraid, Damian?”
Suddenly my skin grew cold, and I knew I barely had time to turn around before it happened. Damian was still changing back from Depression Agent smoke-mode when he rose out of the grayness with a chuckle. He touched my forehead with a smoky finger, and I went limp. I tried to fling my whip as I fell; pull Damian’s legs out from underneath him. But it wasn't like before, where I felt I had a chance to overpower the fear running through my system. Right now, it felt like I could barely keep my eyes open. Like moving at all was taking energy I didn't have. If I tried to stand, I felt like I was going to die. Instead, I just lay there as the Zone continued to shake and rumble.
“Am I afraid? Those are strong words, Lucy, but I am not at all afraid.” Then he turned around and started to walk away.
“Then why are you running?” I asked, my mouth slurring the question. “I’m not running; I am leaving,” Damian specified. “I’ve just been told there’s much to do. Not to mention, this Dormant Zone is becoming unstable. With any luck, you’ll just die in here.” He stuck his arm out in front of him and moved it down, like he was cutting through the air. Then a dark swirl opened up in front of him and he walked through it.
I lied on the ground shaking underneath me, trying to look around for my friends. Scott, Halsey, and the Lieutenant were nowhere to be seen. Lucas’ body wasn’t next to me anymore. I tried to yell out for Chloe, but no sound came out. Then I looked above me and realized why. A wave of grayness was forming over me, roaring as it grew higher. The paintbrushes shot out from my hand, trying to fight it as it came down. Parts of it broke off as the paint hit it, but they couldn’t stop it all. The wave absorbed the paintbrushes and crashed down on me, and everything went dark.
48. I Take A Bite Out Of Depression…
Literally.
Just a quick warning if you ever plan to go diving in grade-A Depression Zone grayness: close your mouth.
The moment the grayness hit, I flailed around. I was shoved down hard. The grayness worked together with the ground underneath to swallow me whole. The pressure grew as the seconds passed. But the worst part was the taste.
It tasted like what burnt rubber smelled like. Plus, the texture was just as bad. It was like spoonful after heaping spoonful of sand, sticking to the inside of my cheeks and drying out my mouth.
I tried to climb above it and get back to the surface, but I still couldn’t move. The grayness tossed me this way and that way like I was in an ocean storm. All the while, I could hear a rumbling in my ears; the Zone collapsing.
Maybe if I just stayed still and held my breath, I could wait it out. The Zone would fall into pieces just like the last one, and then I’d be able to breathe and wake up back in the Depression Force and everyone else would be there and I would be okay.
But nothing broke apart. The grayness tossed and turned and just flowed in no particular direction. A dark feeling seemed to creep in and spread throughout my entire body. I felt cold and alone. Part of me felt like curling up in a ball and getting crushed by the grayness until it was all over. But more than all that, I felt anger.
Damian still had Chloe. I couldn’t let it end here, smothered by my own Depression, while she wasn’t safe. Especially not after Lucas...
I kept trying to move, and the grayness seemed to be trying to make it harder and harder. It pushed against me from all sides, like it was closing in around me. I struggled and struggled, but it was no use.
“Lucy, stop...” I heard a small faint voice whisper somewhere. I looked around in the darkness as best as I could—you know, without being able to move and all—but I didn’t see anyone. It was worth a shot, though. I took deep breath after deep breath and lay still, which wasn’t hard. But the pressure got heavier. It hurt to breathe. I wasn’t going to last much longer.
I sucked in one more breath and shut my eyes tight before everything stopped.
✽✽✽
I woke up in the TransPort chair shivering violently as the helmet came off, thanks to Dart next to me. I felt like I was watching from outside or behind my body as him and Scott quickly undid the harnesses around my wrists and legs. I tried to force myself to stand, but all I managed to do was help myself slump out of the chair and onto the floor. Dart and Scott each caught me by an arm.
“Are you okay?” Scott asked, his voice full of urgency. It sounded far and echo-y. I nodded, or at least I thought I did. I wasn’t sure if my body was listening to me right now.
About a million miles away, I heard the Lieutenant’s voice echoing something like, “...her to the infirmary...” and suddenly, my body left the floor. Scott and Dart must have been carrying me now. I couldn’t tell; the world seemed to move in slow motion and all at once, both at the same time.
We left the room and walked past the Observation Deck, with the door wide open. The last thing I saw before losing consciousness was what I figured was Zone on the big screen. It was nothing but a big lump of gray, but it was moving around like it was...changing into something.
✽✽✽<
br />
I opened my eyes and groaned. The room was super bright at first and my head was pounding. Actually, strike that. My whole body was pounding with pain.
“Oh good,” said someone next to me. “I’m glad you’re awake.” It was a guy’s voice, but my ears muffled the sound. I tried to sit up and instantly felt dizzy. “Urgh,” I said.
“Go slow,” the voice said again, “please.”
I took his advice and sat up slowly. I turned to look at who was sitting next to me, and saw Scott. He looked both relieved and ready to freak out, like at any moment something could go wrong. I slowly turned my head back in front of me, and noticed the room was white because it was the infirmary. White walls, counters, bedding sheets, the whole nine yards. But then did that mean...my heart skipped a beat. I quickly looked down and let out a sigh of relief when I saw my—well, Halsey’s—hoodie and the jeans I was given. I was thankful and glad that no one tried to change my clothes or put me in some hospital gown. But it quickly faded into an empty feeling as I remembered everything that happened.
My efforts got me nowhere. Damian escaped with my sister, who was probably now...I couldn’t bring myself to the thought. Then on top of all that, there was Lucas. He’d sacrificed his life for me—twice. But it meant nothing. Damian won. I wasn’t able to save Chloe.
A lump started to form in my throat and I had to stop thinking about it. Scott must have picked up on my misery. “You barely made it out of there alive, you know. Any longer and your mind and emotions would have been gone,” he said. “You would’ve just left behind an empty husk.”
I shuddered at the thought. It sounded just as bad, if not worse than being forced to commit suicide and become a Depression Agent.
“Okay, maybe not the best words of encouragement,” Scott decided. I had to admit, after his husk comment, I was hardly listening. My mind had raced back to Chloe. There had to be some way to...”Ahh, how about—” Scott started to say, but I cut him off.
“Hey,” I said, trying not to speak too loudly. “What is it?” Scott asked intently, his eyes on mine. It caught me a little off-guard. Before I could continue asking my question, I felt something brush against my hand. Without turning my head, I looked down slowly and saw Scott’s hand resting on top of mine. I realized then that my mouth was open and quickly shut it. My heart was racing now. I hoped there wasn’t some screen nearby showing my heart rate or anything. Something about Scott touching me made me feel...uncomfortable.
I acted like I was scooting back so I could sit up more, using the distraction to draw back my hands. Then I rested them into my lap and cleared my throat.
“I wanted to know, uh, if there was a way to change a Depression Agent back into a human.” I said, avoiding eye contact. I held my breath as I waited for his answer. He took a deep breath and exhaled sharply.
“I don’t—”
Before he could answer, the infirmary door burst open. It was Halsey who came through it, out of breath and panting. I heard Scott slowly scooting away from me, and hoped Halsey didn’t notice any of that.
“Perfect, Lucy, you’re awake!” Halsey exclaimed. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a wave of darkness chewed me up like gum for a while.” I answered, hugging my arms. Halsey nodded sympathetically. “Can’t say I envy you,” she said.
“Thanks.” I said sarcastically.
“No problem,” she answered. “Now, do you think you can manage walking?”
“Why?” I asked. “The Lieutenant and Dart want to see you in the Observation Deck,” Halsey explained.
“That’s on the whole other side of HQ,” Scott pointed out. “Whatever it is has gotta be important.”
“Oh it is,” Halsey insisted. “It’s about your sister.”
49. I’ve Got Some Explaining To Do
Update on walking: I could not manage it.
Whoever got me in the bed didn’t take my clothes, but did leave me barefoot. So when I rushed out of the bed upon mention of my sister’s name and my feet hit the cold floor, I almost fell. It also didn’t help that I had about zero energy at that moment. I had to clutch the bed for support to keep from falling over.
Long story short, I was thankful Halsey and Scott were there to help me to the Observation Deck. Which, like Halsey said, was on the other side of HQ. You'd think with all the back and forth, these guys would have invested in a more convenient way to get around. A subway system, maybe. Like the one downstairs, only smaller. The routes would travel through the inside of the walls of the building. It could totally work.
When we arrived at the Deck, Dart was running rampant.
He shot to one side of the room, picking up a stack of papers fresh from a printer and then turned around and ran the stack back to where his laptop sat. He set the papers down and picked up his laptop, and took off again. He hurried around other workers over to some other machine that was showing some bar graph of something or other. It was pretty much like the first time I’d seen him.
Lieutenant Hollister stood watching him, and as he passed the doorway again, she noticed us standing there.
“I’m glad to see you on your feet, more or less.” she said, walking up to join us. If I was being honest with myself, I felt about ready to pass out. But her words were encouraging, so I smiled as we walked down the stairs into the room. On the inside, I was biting my tongue to hold in the urge to close my eyes and fall over.
Scott took the last few steps to ease away from me, trying to catch up to Dart. This left Halsey for me to lean on, and she was a little lighter than me. She and I stared at Lieutenant Hollister for a minute, in silence. I think we were both waiting for her to say something else, but when she didn’t, I decided there was no point in beating around the bush.
“What’s going on with Chloe?” I asked.
“Ahh, well...” Lieutenant Hollister stuttered. It made me uneasy that she couldn't find the words to speak; that wasn't like her at all. Whatever news it was, I was fearful of her answer.
“I think I’m gonna let Dart explain.” she finally decided.
Halsey and I looked over at Dart, who obviously didn’t hear her. He was still running this way and that, dropping clipboards and papers he couldn’t hold onto Scott’s arms. I have to say, the whole sight would've been a bit comical if it wasn't for Chloe. Scott looked about ready to fall over from his quickly growing stack of paperwork.
Lieutenant Hollister cleared her throat. “Dart!” she called in a firm voice.
Dart stopped moving and looked around, as if he was just now processing there were other people in the room. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t even notice,” he said. He set all of his things down on the nearest table. Scott did the same, setting his stack right next to Dart’s. Then Dart walked over to me, his eyebrows knit together sympathetically
“You didn’t conquer your third Zone,” he said solemnly. I set my chin to hide the emotion leaking onto my face.
“Damian got away, too,” Dart added. I looked down at the ground, avoiding his gaze. If I knew we were going to take a moment to remind me of my greatest failures, I would've stayed on the other side of the Depression Force.
“Can you get to your point?” Lieutenant Hollister prompted Dart, a smile sneaking its way on to her face. “You’re making it sound quite negative.” she pointed out. My heart skipped a beat.
“Then, you mean—” I started to say, but it felt impossible to form words. Dart nodded.
“Despite all of this,” Dart continued, “Chloe is awake.”
✽✽✽
“I-I...don’t understand.” I said, shaking my head.
“You're telling me,” Dart said, pointing to the big screen, “but just trust me and look.” He ran over and tapped a couple buttons on his laptop, and for the umpteenth time that day, my breath left me.
There were no Depression Agents. No smoke, or fog, or anything gaseous that could be related. No crying or screaming. Just...Chloe. She was lying in the hospital bed with her eyes clo
sed. Resting, but certainly awake, and more importantly, safe.
My sister was back, safe and sound! Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I should have been overjoyed. And yet, I wasn’t. All I felt was this weird sensation churning in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t figure out what, but something just didn’t feel right to me.
“We didn’t understand at first either, Lucy,” Lieutenant Hollister tried to assure me.
“Damian had her captive,” I said, “So how did she—”
“We’re pretty sure it was a trick,” Dart explained. “We just need your side of the story to confirm. You remember when your third Zone suddenly became available to us?”
I nodded. “I remember.”
“When that happened,” Dart continued, “we assumed your Zone was fully awake—”
“It wasn’t!” I blurted out, which got me some sideways looks from a couple Officers working nearby. “I mean, uh,” I stammered quietly, “Damian said it was fully Dormant.”
Dart looked over at Lieutenant Hollister, a look of surprise and achievement on his face. “I knew it!” he exclaimed. Lieutenant Hollister just nodded in response. “Yes, you're right once again. But could you explain it for those of us who aren't quite on the same page?” she said.
I was definitely in agreement.
“Right, right, of course.” Dart said. “Since the Zone was fully Dormant like you said, that means access to it was blocked off.”
“Except for the one in control.” I assumed.
“Exactly,” Dart answered, “and that's how they got you in there. I tried to lock off the Zone myself, but I couldn't make it do anything.”
“It was a trap the whole time, then.” Halsey 'mumbled' next to me. “They wanted Lucy to get stuck.”
“Then it's too bad their trap didn't account for our backup.” Scott proudly pointed out. Halsey chuckled, but when no one else followed, she pursed her lips and stopped.