‘Listen, Ju, I’ve got to go.’ Jade made herself get moving before she confessed everything to her sister. ‘I’ve got a busy day ahead of me,’ she fudged. It wasn’t a complete lie; it would be a busy day recovering from the night of her life. ‘But whatever you and Leonardo do, or don’t do, you have my blessing. Okay?’
Her sister deserved some fun. Jade desperately wanted her to be happy.
‘Okay.’
But Juno had said she and Leonardo had agreed it wouldn’t be anything more than physical, that it was just chemistry, and now Jade knew that wasn’t as easy as it sounded.
‘But do me a favour,’ she added swiftly before ending the call with Juno. ‘Don’t underestimate your feelings for him. They might be stronger than you think.’
Because that was the fear gnawing inside her—that the reason she’d told Alvaro she was ‘so much better than okay’ was that it had been so much more than physical. And now, the desire for more with him still tempted her to risk everything all over again.
But she was Queen and she couldn’t. She could only be grateful that she’d had the night she had. Now, she needed to focus on herself. That was what Alvaro had shown her. She needed to speak up and strengthen her own damn spine.
Liberation swept over her. She and Juno had endangered themselves with this switch. But if she could time travel she’d choose to do the same again. No regrets. By the sound of things, Juno had none either. They could sort out any resulting mess once Jade was back home. But one thing was certain and it had been certain from first thing Monday morning. There was no way Jade was ever marrying King Leonardo or any other suitable prince her advisors recommended...
But she couldn’t marry for love either. Her parents had tried and look how that had worked out. They’d fallen in love so quickly and out again only a few months later. They’d come from different worlds. And the mess it had made of their lives? Now, she knew there was nothing to be gained from a reckless, passionate relationship. Fortunately, the fact that she couldn’t go ten seconds without thinking about Alvaro Byrne wasn’t anything to do with love. It was lust. Simple, basic, bone-deep lust. And what had happened between them was perfect. Finite and perfect.
Honestly? She didn’t think she’d ever marry anyone.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ALVARO PACED AROUND his apartment. She’d wanted immediate escape. She’d turned as soon as she could, trying to leave without drama, her face aflame in awkward embarrassment... But when he’d stopped her something else had emerged. Not the deeply ingrained politeness, not the ex-virginal embarrassment, but a pure, personal, simple admission.
She’d said she was ‘so much better than okay’ and then, ‘I hope you are too.’
That sweet wish for him had glued him in place—but he’d been unable to admit the same. Frankly he’d been unable to even breathe. Not before she’d already left.
She’d required no post-mortem. Apparently had no regrets either.
But that was good, wasn’t it? He’d wanted—needed—her to go, too. He too wanted nothing, no last words, to spoil the perfection of their night together. And it would be spoilt eventually if they saw each other again.
He’d spoil it. Somehow.
He knew a moment in time was all they could ever have.
But he hated how empty his home suddenly felt. How desolate and vast his bed now was. He’d loved the curling length of her hair, the creaminess of her back, the narrowness of her waist and the flare of her hips...slender but sweet and soft. Irritated, he scratched the back of his neck and headed to the shower.
The next day he went out of town on a totally unnecessary field trip to sign the deal that had been under discussion for so long. It didn’t matter that his own office was closed, he never stopped working. And the distance meant seeing her was impossible.
But that didn’t stop him thinking about her. And in the end he couldn’t resist phoning her.
‘Alvaro? What’s wrong?’
He winced. Did there have to be something wrong for him to phone? ‘I’m checking up on your Christmas spirit. Have you been ice skating yet?’
‘You should have seen me. I nailed it.’ Her laughter was literally like bells.
Too much Christmas thinking. Too much missing...
‘You’ve probably been skating since before you could walk.’
‘I did find the rink a little small and crowded for my triple axel,’ she joked.
He couldn’t stand the thought of her ice skating on her own around that damned rink. ‘And you saw the tree?’
‘It was awesome, yes.’
‘And how many lights?’
‘Lots. Really good window displays too.’
Window displays? Wow. It all sounded ridiculously sad to him. ‘What else?’
‘Are you living vicariously through my Christmas experiences?’ she teased. ‘You don’t even like Christmas.’
‘I never said that,’ he protested. ‘I said I work Christmas.’
‘You said Christmas was distant families getting drunk and miserable.’
‘You’ve seen otherwise?’
‘I’ve seen lots of family groups in restaurants. They look happy to me.’
‘You only got a glimpse. You’ve got to see them at the end.’
‘Well, I’m hardly going to stand around for hours outside, peering through the windows and watching them like some stalker.’
He grimaced at the image. Yeah, she was isolated. She shouldn’t be doing those things alone. She should have family or friends with her to enjoy it with. But she had none. The only person who knew the truth of her life right now was him.
He returned to Manhattan two nights later. He stripped the bed. Even bought new linen—midnight blue, anything to make it different from how it had been when she’d been there with him. But he still couldn’t sleep, couldn’t stop seeing her smiling and her pretty form supine and the soft stretch of her creamy skin with the dew of sweat and the stain of colour in her face as he’d aroused her. So slow, so delicious, so worth every precious moment. The slippery sweetness of her taste. Being with her had been the hottest experience of his life and the ache of desire in his body now was enough to send a man insane.
But that wasn’t what was really messing him around. It was his conscience. That sense of having done something wrong. But the mistake wasn’t having had her, but in leaving her alone since.
That had been no ordinary night. And she faced no ordinary week. And he was flooded with something so much bigger than regret.
He woke early and went to the gym, desperate to burn off his frustration. It didn’t work. That jaded, irritable feeling within only grew. He stalked to the coffee shop and got a triple shot. Waiting for it to be made, he glared out of the window, then his gaze dropped to the table beside him, and the paper spread on it. He flicked through a couple of pages, knowing what he’d find. Sure enough, there were more pictures of ‘Queen Jade’, aka Princess Juno, and King Leonardo, gallivanting around Severene, doing royal walkabouts and other feeding-the-media-frenzy things.
Jade had said there’d been some speculation about that stupid possible marriage—but these weren’t whispers, these were screaming headlines and they sparked Alvaro’s fury. Had Jade seen these pictures? What was her sister playing at? Was Jade seriously still contemplating some kind of political marriage? Was that why she’d been so keen to leave him so early the other morning? Was this all part of some crazy plan?
No. That wasn’t Jade. She was too straight. And she’d been so determined to fix her job for her sister. So determined to be good. To not offend anyone. She was dutiful to the point of damaging her own future.
She’d said she wanted a few weeks of freedom. Some space to do the iconic Christmas things... Alvaro had never had the most abundant or joyful of Christmases, but he thought he’d actually had more than she had, even when h
e’d worked all day.
Fairy lights and fir trees...she’d had restrained decoration but never heartfelt detail. Not the closeness and comfort of family or even friends...those fun times that he too had seen in so many Christmas movies or season specials of nostalgic TV shows.
At the end of a long Christmas Day, he and Ellen had at least had each other. She’d tried her best to give him something even small. So now he gave her all he could in return.
If Jade wanted to experience some real Christmas joy, maybe he could help her. Maybe they could both do something a little better than their usual Christmases?
By Thursday he couldn’t stand it a second longer. He couldn’t stop thinking about those pictures of Juno with King Leonardo and his anger at Jade being all alone bubbled. What the hell were they all playing at? Jade’s apparent docility regarding that so-called dutifulness infuriated him. Why did she have to sacrifice every element of her life for her crown and country? This wasn’t the fifteen hundreds. People were allowed private lives. People were allowed some fun.
She was used to having an austere Christmas. So was he. And usually the thought wouldn’t bother him at all. But the point of this time away was for her not to have that. She should have something more than aimlessly walking around city streets alone—even if it was Manhattan with all the bright lights it had to offer. He could do better than that. He wanted her to have more non-royal duty time. More fun. And for that she needed...if not family, then a friend.
After all, there was no reason why they couldn’t be friends, was there?
His conscience told him exactly why.
Alvaro wasn’t used to being a friend. Or having one. He was happy to be that loner who knew precisely what his value was to others—on the sports field back when he was a youth, as an entrepreneur, an investor, as a boss...and yes, as a lover. And if he didn’t deliver, then he was no longer valued. And definitely not wanted.
The affairs he had never became anything more than a few weeks’ fling. He gave into the lust, got it out of his system, moved on. It was only sex, after all. But that wasn’t what he and Jade had done. Which was exactly why they couldn’t do it again. She was more forbidden now than when he’d thought she was working for him. Not just because she was vulnerable. But because he was afraid he was too. But he couldn’t resist phoning her once more.
‘Alvaro?’
It wasn’t right how happy he was to hear her carefully modulated tones again. Nor was it right how much he liked to make her breathless, to make her forget what it was she’d been going to say. Only right now he was the one who’d forgotten what words he’d meant to utter.
‘Boss?’ she teased.
And that was it. The moment he knew. He gripped the phone more closely and grabbed his car keys. ‘Have you been on the eggnog already?’
He finally knocked on her door and then she was there. Slim jeans, thin sweater, wide, wide eyes. His body seized.
Don’t kiss her. Don’t kiss her. Don’t kiss her.
‘Alvaro?’ She stood back from the doorway. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Not kissing you,’ he said brainlessly. Then he flinched and hustled to pull his head together. ‘Just getting that out there first up,’ he clarified more softly. ‘I’m not here for that.’
‘Okay.’
But that crestfallen hint in her eyes hit him like the thinnest, most deadly of blades. He could kick himself for his lack of tact. He couldn’t admit how much he wanted to now. It would mess things up for her, wouldn’t it? And that damn political marriage she was going to have to agree to some time in the next decade or so.
‘I thought you’d be out already, doing all the things. It’s after ten.’
‘I’m just...’ She drew a breath. ‘Why are you here?’
‘I don’t want you to be alone for Christmas.’
‘I’m quite used to being alone, Alvaro.’ She went to close the door on him. ‘It’s not your concern.’
Her pride was back. Her politeness. Her refusal to express her emotions and her desires. Queen Jade herself.
‘I’d like to show you some things.’ His mouth felt as if it were stuffed with cotton wool. He was making such a mess of this.
She folded her arms across her chest. ‘What things?’
‘Just...things.’ He realised this wasn’t going as well as he’d thought it would. What had he expected? ‘I mean—’
She was growing chillier by the second. ‘I thought we weren’t going to see each other again.’
‘I think that was unnecessary caution on my part.’
‘Caution?’
‘I don’t believe you’ll fall in love with me just because we had sex and might spend a few days together.’
‘Was that your concern?’ Her jaw dropped and there was a glint in her eyes and he just knew she was thinking he was an arrogant jerk.
She was right. He had been.
‘I don’t wish to interfere in your life’s plans,’ he said.
She actually smiled but it was all queen. ‘Nothing comes before my duty to my country.’
‘I realise that now. I’m sorry. I was arrogant before.’
‘Before? You’re not any more?’
‘It’s possible I might relapse,’ he said cautiously, watching for Jade to return.
‘Would it be terrible for me to fall in love with you?’ She studied him carefully.
‘Yes. It could never work out.’
‘It wouldn’t work out with just me? Or with anyone?’
‘Anyone,’ he answered immediately and irritably. He had no idea how they’d got onto this. ‘But especially not you.’
‘Because of the Crown.’ She actually nodded. ‘I think it’s best that we don’t sleep together again. Definitely.’
‘You do?’
‘Once was a considered risk. A thrill, of course. But more than once wouldn’t be rational. It would be reckless stupidity.’
Being with him again would be reckless stupidity? The stupid thing was that even though he’d decided there was no way they could be intimate again, now that she’d said the same thing he instantly wanted to fight back. And fight hard.
You always want what you can’t have. And what would be so, so bad for you.
It was the human condition, wasn’t it? That weakness, that failing...to be consumed by transient, addictive desires. That was the kind of thing that ruined people’s lives. His didn’t matter, but he wasn’t ruining hers.
‘Come on, you need to pack a bag.’
‘You want me to leave with you now?’
‘As I said, I don’t want you to be alone for Christmas.’
‘It’s not Christmas.’
‘It’s close enough.’ He offered her a grin. ‘Don’t be a grinch. It’s the holiday season. Go pack enough for a few days. We’ll be back just after Christmas.’
‘You’re inviting me to spend all of Christmas with you?’
The temptation to lean close and kiss her almost overwhelmed him. He’d convince her quickly enough that way. But distracting them both with sex wasn’t allowed. Not this time. They’d even agreed on that.
‘Go pack your bag.’
‘I get no choice? You’re abducting me?’
And damn if she didn’t look as if she liked that idea.
‘I think of it as more of a rescue than an abduction. You want to stay home in a tiny apartment all by yourself for Christmas Day?’
Her expression flickered and he glimpsed the loneliness he’d recognised in her before.
‘You wanted some other kind of Christmas, Jade. I can’t promise everything, but it might be better than usual.’ His lips quirked. ‘It’ll definitely be different. No palace. I promise.’
He watched her green eyes widen but she was silent. So silent, even when he could see the acquiescence, the want i
n those eyes. And he sighed.
‘Abduction it is.’
CHAPTER NINE
IMPOSSIBLE MAN. Impossible to ignore. Impossible to resist.
Jade pulled an old carry-all down from the top of Juno’s wardrobe. It was larger than her little flight bag and she quickly stuffed warm clothes into it, somehow stupidly afraid that if she didn’t hurry, he might change his mind and leave without her.
Her heart skipped as she snatched up her toiletries bag and tossed it in as well. She’d been close to saying no, stupidly hurt by that barrier he’d instantly put between them when he’d arrived. But then her inner recklessness had whispered again. The same whisper that had seen her say yes to her sister’s switch plan. She had so few days left, why shouldn’t she enjoy them?
Honestly, she’d absorbed all the Christmas window displays she could stand and had breathed in the holiday mood as she’d passed restaurants and bars and convivial people celebrating. But night fell earlier and earlier and the crowds on the pavement with their hats and coats and bags of shopping had brushed by her as they’d scurried to be where they were needed or wanted. And it had left her too aware of those others like her, the ones on the edges. Alone.
She’d come back to Juno’s apartment and filled the fridge with sugary snacks. All the things her father would have totally disapproved of. But the chocolate bars had reminded her too much of the midnight recovery snack she’d had with Alvaro Byrne.
And now he was back. But not for that. Yet she’d glimpsed fire in his gaze and guessed that he was battling temptation too. She wasn’t the only one still feeling it. And suddenly that became part of the fun ahead—the challenge, the sparks that had flown between them from the first moment they’d met? It was exhilarating. Being around him made her feel alive.
Yes. He was impossible to deny.
Minutes later, he glanced at the green jacket she’d shrugged on over the top of her thin sweater and jeans, then reached forward and took the carry-all from her. He turned and led the way without a word.
‘Not the sports car this time?’ she asked as he remotely unlocked the large black sedan parked right outside.
The Queen's Impossible Boss (The Christmas Princess Swap, Book 2) Page 10