by L M Lacee
Verity had grinned as she told her. “I thought that color was more appropriate than say, cream!”
“Funny!” Edith grinned. She followed a guard as he placed a nice round table with four chairs out on the patio. She turned and as ten easels were placed around the room, several step ladders leaned against a wall. Verity and Edith looked at a grinning June in surprise as Edith asked. “Where did they come from?”
“Please… as if this was never going to happen, remember it is what I do!”
Now an hour later Edith stood with her hands on her hips surveying her domain. Verity had gone with June to see about lunch, they were going to eat then go see the buildings for the museum and the art gallery. Sharm stood inside the door and looked around him as he asked quietly. “Edith what are you doing here?”
She whirled around. “Hi, I am setting up my studio. I did not know you were coming back.”
He walked in and started a slow circuit of the room. “I came home to have lunch with you and discuss the apartment.”
Lars arrived just after Sharm, he had come to collect Edith for lunch. His Dam was worried she would forget to eat. He waited outside not wanting to interrupt the couple.
Edith smiled as she said. “Well we can still do that.”
“You did not answer my question.”
Edith frowned as she looked at him. “I thought I had.”
Sharm smiled as he looked at her, Edith did not know if she liked this smile, it had a sharp edge to it. “Really! I asked why you were here.”
“And I said, to set up the studio.”
“For why?”
Edith felt her muscles start to tense up as she tried to keep the bite out of her voice. “So I can restore the castle’s art. It is what I do, I am a conservator. I trained for years to be one.”
“I remember you did tell me that. I had no idea you were going to pursue it here?”
“What did you think I would do with my days?”
He shrugged as he continued to walk around the room looking at the paintings but not really seeing them. “Shop, do what Sage and my Dam do. You did so the other day with Ella.”
She laughed thinking he was being funny, when he did not join in, she said. “Oh you were serious?” She looked incredulously at him and said. “That was one day! Dear Goddess, I would go nuts doing that every day. Sharm you seriously cannot believe that is all Sage and your mother do every day?”
Sharm looked at her and did not reply. He did not think that was all his mother and Sage did but would not admit it now. His dragon asked. Why are you so angry with our shadow?
He could not keep the outrage from his voice as he stated. She has defied me!
Defied? Are you feeling alright? His dragon mocked loudly, which Sharm ignored. He ran his eyes over Edith. She was dirty and in need of a shower. She followed his eyes and looked down at herself too. “Sorry occupational hazard when crawling among stored paintings.”
“Surely someone could have collected them for you?”
Edith almost sighed out loud, before she asked. “Why?”
“You are a lady. It is unbecoming for you to crawl around in dirt.”
Unbecoming! Sneered his dragon as Edith asked. “Are you for real, you did not just say unbecoming? This is not Victorian England...Unbecoming!” She laughed as she wiped her hands on a cloth trying not to let him see the hurt in her eyes.
“You think I am being pompous?” Sharm asked and yes he was offended at her laughter, he was being honest with his feelings, she should respect that and not mock him as his dragon did. He felt annoyance creeping along his skin. Especially when his dragon growled. I do, and you deserve to be mocked for having idiotic outdated ideas! As well as being an ass!
Sharm again ignored his dragon as Edith told him. “Yes and you know you are!”
“That may be so, but I am the master healer to the castle and Dragon’s Gap which holds a certain position.”
“Your point?” Edith just stopped herself from rolling her eyes. His dragon hid his eyes under his large paws refusing to listen to Sharm anymore. He was distressed by Edith’s displeasure. Sharm said with exaggerated patience. “I think I made my point.”
“Well I must have missed it. Please spell it out for me!”
“Fine! No shadow of mine needs to work. It will reflect badly on me, my patients and staff will assume I am unable to care for her.”
“Tough! I do work. I will work and in fact, not only am I doing this.” She said and waved her hands around indicating the paintings and room. “I am opening an art gallery in town.”
He stated very calmly. “No Edith! I think you are not.”
Just as calmly she replied. “Yes Sharm I am.”
He was still calm and controlled as he faced her and said. “I am your shadow. I do not wish you too.”
Edith watched his face for a sign he was joking, when she saw none. She said in the calmest voice she had ever used. “I do not know why you are acting this way but regardless of what you say. I am opening a gallery and restoring the art of the castle. I became your shadow, not your employee or servant. You cannot dictate to me, I did tell you that Sharm!”
He frowned as asked. “Why must you be unreasonable?”
Tired of his crap Edith said. “Leave Sharm, this… whatever it is… is over!”
It was Sharm’s turn to laugh which he did before he said. “Do not be ridiculous! Why can you not just be like a real female?”
“Implying because I am a bear and not dragon I am not a person?”
Shocked that she would think he meant that and ignoring his dragon’s growling. What else was she to think?
He said. “No absolutely not! Do not put words into my mouth, you know exactly what I mean?”
Edith slowly shook her head from side to side. “Actually I do not! You keep vacillating between the Sharm who I spent three wonderful days with. And this male that is trying to make me into someone I am never going to be. Once more I will reiterate I am not your mother, now leave.”
“Edith my shadow I am not doing that. I just think you are not taking my wants into account. A bonding is about both of us.”
Edith looked at the male she was bonded too and felt her temper slide away, he really was gorgeous and wrong, so wrong! Quietly she asked. “So I am to give myself up to what you demand and change my nature, change who I am for you and you remain the same. Don’t you see that way lies unhappiness for both of us? You would never respect me if I did that and me... I would grow to hate you for my weakness. I know me Sharm. I know who and what I am. Do you?”
Sharm looked around him once again. “Maybe you are right, maybe we both need to step back and search for what it is we both need and want.”
“Maybe!” Edith answered softly. He nodded once to her almost she thought like an employee and left the room, passing Lars who had stepped back into the shadows.
Edith slumped down onto the couch. “Shit and double shit!” She muttered holding back the tears that wanted to fall, her bear sighed gustily as Edith said softly. Yeah, I know!
Once Sharm was gone Lars looked inside the room. Edith was sitting on the couch and did not look as though she needed him. He left to report his brother’s stupid behaviour to his mother. His dragon’s advice to go and find Sharm and kick his ass, he took under advisement.
Edith heard the worry in her bear’s voice when she asked. What can we do?
I do not know sweetie. I really don’t!
We could stay somewhere else until mate realizes he is dumb?
Edith hurriedly told her. Oh no! That is never a good idea. How can we talk if we do not see each other?
Her bear sighed again as she asked. This is true, also mate may never realize he is ass, if we are not there to remind him! So what do we do?
Edith sighed. I do not know sweetie. I guess we talk more and hope he listens!
Oh!
I know!
CHAPTER TEN:
T wo days later Sharm sat at the
breakfast table with a quiet Edith who was working on her tablet. They had not slept in the same bed or made love since the night of the party. Sharm looked at her and then down at the papers he was pretending to read. Finally, he said. “Edith, we need to talk.”
She looked up from her tablet. “I know.”
Henry about to enter the tense room stopped and listened. To say he was distressed by what was happening between the two people he liked was an understatement. Sharm cleared his throat. “I do not know what went wrong, we seem to have got off track somehow?”
Edith wanted to say if he got the stick out of his butt they could go back to the way it was but she did not, instead she said. “Yep, we seem to have. What can we do to fix this?”
“Well the way I see it we can deal with this in two way. We can look at the problems first or we can both say what it is we want from this bonding and go from there.”
“That sounds reasonable.”
Henry who remained unapologetically listening, silently applauded Sharm for his suggestion and Edith for her calm attitude to his proposition. Sharm sipped his tea then said. “Good, so let us look at what we want first. The problems we are encountering could be solved by saying what we expect from our life together.”
Edith grinned in relief, thankful he was agreeable to talking and solving the predicament they seemed to have found themselves in. “Okay you first.”
He smiled. “I think on this. It should be you.”
Edith nodded. “Well okay, let me see. I like being bonded. I have to be honest and say I was not sure I would.”
“Well that is good.” Sharm told her much relieved at her statement. She smiled at him then said. “I like living at the castle, but my bear is not happy about the apartment, she feels it is not hers. We would like to have our own place somewhere we can start off new and make memories together as a bonded couple.”
Sharm sighed in understanding. “Yes I see that. You have never had a home of your own. This makes sense. I should have realized that.”
Edith took a breath and counted to ten. She had lived on her own and had several homes. They may have been rented but they had been hers and she had told him of them when they had talked in the first three days. The fact he had forgotten annoyed her but for the sake of trying, she would overlook his reference to her homelessness. Keeping her attention in the now, she said. “Also I should tell you I am not willing to have young yet.” She held her hand up as he went to speak. “I want your young. I do, but not yet. I am twenty- five, newly bonded. I want to enjoy and explore what we are, who we are. This is so new for us both each of us joined with another and we have lots to learn about each other. For me learning about you is enough for now without the pressure of a child. I need time for that.”
Sharm tried not to allow the disappointment to show he understood. He truly did but he had waited a long time for a shadow and young he wanted it all now. Edith said softly. “I am sorry you are upset.”
“I am, and it is not all your fault. I have had dreams of my own for a long time and as you have told me you had a different upbringing. So having a child is not as important for you as it is for me.” Before she could refute that statement he said. “You are right, we are newly bonded, and we have time.”
Edith’s quiet thank you, was said with a bite which he seemed to not hear. She hurriedly asked, so she would not argue with him. “So what do you want from this bonding?”
Sharm drank of his tea taking his time to consider his answer, finally he said. “I want a shadow that is my partner that can help with my work and will entertain my family and friends. Someone who will eventually want to give me hatchlings and make a home together. I understand your need for the apartment. And I will be willing to go look at one or two with you.”
Edith wanted to shout. Well big deal, so good of you, your lordship! She did not, she locked the words behind her teeth and asked. “Anything else?”
Sharm frowned. “I would like my shadow to remain home, there is no need for her to work. I make enough with my work and my part of the treasury that I receive to support a family.”
Edith wanted to hit him, and most of all cry. He had not heard one thing she had said, it was as though he spoke of some other female. Someone who had not appeared yet. She sat and looked at the male that was her life match and wondered how to make this different and came up empty. Not one thought that crossed her mind was helpful, her bear remained silent as though she was as stunned as Edith. He sat across from her with an expectant look on his handsome face as though she was going to say. Oh wow, I had no idea. Let me fall in line with only your wants!
In the end all she could do was tell him. “I see! Well, I am sorry Sharm I am not that female. I will not remain at home to twiddle my thumbs and pump out young for you. I am willing to help with your work and entertain with you but truthfully the rest of it. I will not do and the way I am feeling right now. I am unwilling to actually even bother with the things I was willing to do! As I stated I have my work and the gallery to get started and enjoy for a while.”
His face tightened and became as hard as his voice as he said. “Surely you see that is why I asked you not to take on either?”
Edith shrugged. “No you did not, you told me I did not need to work.”
“You are splitting hairs!”
“No it is not. I have not asked you to give up your work.”
Sharm sighed. “Now you are being ridiculous. I save lives and add greatly to the community. I have done so for many years. What I do is a valuable asset to dragon kind and all the inhabitants of Dragon’s Gap.”
Edith smiled tightly. “I see, and what I do is not?”
He gave her a small nod as he tried not to sound patronizing or amused with her reasoning. “Surely you are not comparing the two?”
Edith drummed her fingers on the table and once more counted to ten twice! “No why would I? Any reasonable person would not, but what I do is of value as well. And I am sad you cannot see that or are unwilling too. Please do not tell me I am ridiculous again. It is insulting and demeaning to you and me as I am your shadow. Also when you talk about our bonding, try to remember I am your shadow not some mythical dream female you conjured up. You talk in the third person like I am someone you are explaining to what your shadow should be like!” She sighed and stood. “Well, this was productive, but I have somewhere to be.”
Sharm said sharply. “Edith, we did not resolve anything!”
She looked into his confused and angry eyes and told him softly. “Did we not? I found out I do not match up to my shadows image of the perfect mate. And you found out I am unwilling to give up my work and have young right now. Or to be tied to a home while you get to be the male that can do as he likes.” Her voice hardened as she said. “I think we accomplished much!”
With that she walk to the small foyer and collected her jacket and purse with shaking hands. Letting herself out of the apartment unable to believe she had landed herself in this situation and with no knowledge of how to extract herself without losing her heart.
Sharm sat shaken and alone as he watched his shadow leave him and the fleeting thought that she was leaving him forever chased across his mind. He wondered again. Why had he allowed this to happen?
A saddened Henry shook his head and turned away from the door, what had started out as hopeful conversation ended in disaster, what could be done?
Sharm sat with his head in his hands and said to his dragon, when he felt him claw the inside of his mind. I know... I know. I lost it again. Shit I am not doing too well.
Why do you? His dragon snarled at him almost out of patience with his human.
I do not know? Sharm said remorsefully. It just comes out. All those things I said are true for someone else. It is like some other Sharm walks in and takes over my brain and mouth. He said softly to his dragon. Yet she is everything I want! Do you think I am spelled?
No!
Could I be? He asked hopefully.
H
is dragon snorted. You wish! You are just stupid!
Unfortunately, Sharm had to agree with him. But his dragon worried, was there something more to this? His human was never this stupid. No bonding should produce this amount of anger and confusion. He would think on it.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
E dith sat on the porch swing and rocked gently as she looked out onto a lovey backyard that had gardens of vegetables and roses. Edith loved roses and these ones smelled wonderful, they perfumed the air around her with a heady scent. This was such a peaceful place, no wonder Molly loved coming to her Granma Graces.
Edith had been introduced to Grace on the night of the party and only fleetingly, she hoped by coming here she would get some help or at least... Edith did not know what the She bear’ could do. She just knew something had to be done. It was two days since the confrontation at breakfast with Sharm and they were still not sleeping in the same bed. They hardly spoke or saw each other. Something had to be done, and Edith was tired of waiting for him to realize he was the one to fix this. So she was here swinging on Grace’s porch.
“I wondered when you would come and see me!” Grace said as she walked around the deck with two tall glasses of sweet tea in her hands.
Edith had known she had arrived home ten minutes ago, it was never good to invade a She bears’ den uninvited. So she had stayed where she was until Grace decided she wanted to talk to her. If she had not wanted to, Edith would have waited an hour then left. Thankfully the She bear’ did not make her leave.
“I have run out of options.”
“I see!” Grace raised her eyebrows at the stark admission as she handed a glass to Edith who said. “I am sorry that came out badly.”
Grace smiled as she sat beside her, sometimes it was easier to talk if you were not staring into a face. She knew she had guessed right when Edith relaxed a little she asked. “Did it or was it just honest?”