by Lisa Swift
‘Yes, back when he was still biting ankles. Him and her.’
‘But not me.’ He sighed. ‘He really did love her.’
‘And still does. She’s his mum, Daryl,’ Theo said. ‘You know she’s done nothing but sob hysterically since you walked out with him? She loves that boy just as much as if he were hers – as much as Elise would if she were here. She’s never done anything but love him and try to do right by him.’
‘Yes. Yes, I know she loves him.’ He looked at Lexie’s inscription and blinked a couple of times. ‘I was grateful to her for the way she looked after him, but it hurt too, seeing how quickly she took his mum’s place. I half resented her for it – and Connor – even though I knew that was illogical. It felt like an insult to Elise’s memory, how soon she was replaced.’
‘Yet it was your decision to marry again so soon after her death.’
‘Yes,’ Daryl said, half to himself. ‘There was a hole in the family. In me. I thought I could fill it with Lexie, but it was too soon. All I did was end up hating myself and resenting my wife and child. The guilt was worse than the grief.’
‘You never did replace Elise with Lexie, you know,’ Theo said softly. ‘Connor hasn’t forgotten his mum. He talks about her all the time, and Lexie encourages him to hold on to his memories. It’s like me and you. There isn’t a quota on how many people you can love, Daz.’
Daryl looked up in surprise when he heard the old nickname. ‘Never thought I’d hear you call me that again.’
‘Well, then you thought wrong.’ Theo held out his hand. ‘Go on.’
Daryl hesitated for a moment before shaking it. ‘I’m sorry. I was wrong to react the way I did, and to say what I said to Lexie. I do believe she always did her best for the boy.’
‘Yes she did. Connor’s wellbeing has been number one with her since the day she married you.’
‘It was cruel to take him, wasn’t it?’ Daryl muttered, half to himself. ‘God, the pain in his eyes… all I could feel was this overpowering resentment, that Lexie had turned my boy away from me and filled my place with someone else.’ He looked up at Theo. ‘Is it too late, do you think?’
‘It’s never too late when we make up our minds to do better,’ Theo said quietly. ‘Go to him now. Talk to him, explain what you were feeling. Then I’ll take him home to his mum, eh?’
‘Yes. That’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? Thanks, Theo.’
Daryl went out to knock on the door of Connor’s room. Theo picked up the storybook again, smiling at the little boy’s drawing.
He frowned as Daryl came back in, looking pale. ‘What’s up?’
‘It’s Connor,’ he whispered. ‘He’s gone.’
Chapter Thirty-Six
‘Where are you going to, my love?’ the kind-looking woman in the ticket office at Manchester Piccadilly asked Connor.
‘Leeds,’ he said. ‘How much does a ticket cost please? A single, not a return. I’m not coming back here again, not ever.’
‘Have you got a young person’s railcard?’
‘Um, well, I’ve got this.’ Connor handed her the discount travel card he used to get to school and back.
The woman glanced at it. ‘Oh, I’m sorry. This is only valid in West Yorkshire. It’s no good here, I’m afraid.’ She frowned at the card, then glanced up at his tear-swollen face, half hidden by his hoodie. ‘You’re a long way from home on your own, duckie. How old are you?’
‘Er, eighteen. I’ve been to a… college open day. How much does it cost without a pass please?’
‘Leeds… now, let’s see.’ She tapped something into her computer. ‘That’ll be seventeen pounds twenty for a seat on the next service.’
‘What? But I’ve only got ten!’
‘I’m sorry, I’m afraid that’s what it costs for a standard ticket.’
‘Well… is there a cheaper train I can get?’
‘If you wait a couple of hours, I can find you an economy seat for ten pound thirty on the Hull train. That stops at Leeds.’ She lowered her voice. ‘I’m sure my boss would say I shouldn’t be telling you this, but if you’re strapped for cash then the coach is your best bet. It takes a little longer but the tickets are cheaper. The 962 goes from the coach station in about half an hour, I think. That’s only a ten-minute walk from here.’
‘You’re going to Leeds, did you say?’ a voice from behind Connor asked.
He turned to see who’d spoken. A man, pleasant-looking and quite young, was sipping a coffee at a nearby Costa.
‘Er, yeah,’ Connor said.
‘I’m driving to Leeds this evening myself, as it happens. You’re welcome to cadge a lift. No charge except some conversation.’ The man spotted the wary look on Connor’s face and laughed. ‘What, eighteen and you’ve never hitch-hiked before? Come on, kid, have an adventure.’
‘Well, duck, do you want this ticket for the Hull train or not?’ the ticket office lady asked. ‘There’s a queue behind you.’
‘Um, no. Sorry. Thanks for your help anyway.’ Connor left the queue and went to join the young man at his table.
* * *
Daryl hung up the phone. ‘Well, my mum and dad haven’t heard from him and nor has Tonya. Any joy getting him on his mobile? He’s more likely to answer to you than me.’
Theo shook his head. ‘I just get an engaged tone. Maybe he’s talking to Lexie.’
‘Oh. No, of course.’ Daryl rubbed his temples. ‘You won’t be able to get through to him, or Lexie either. I blocked your numbers.’
‘What? For Christ’s sake, Daryl! He’s out there on his own and you’ve cut off his lifeline to—’ Theo took a deep breath, forcing himself calm. ‘Well, never mind, we don’t have time for that. We need to work together.’
‘Yes. Right. I’ll try him.’
Daryl called Connor’s number, but quickly hung up again.
‘It rang for a second then went dead. Someone switched it off, I think,’ he said in a low voice. ‘Shit, Theo, you don’t think he’s got into any trouble, do you?’
‘He’s a sensible lad. He knows better than to put himself in danger,’ Theo said. ‘He’ll be trying to get back home to Lexie. When could he have slipped out? You were here in the flat the whole time, weren’t you?’
‘Apart from fifteen minutes when I went out to the deli.’
‘Well, that must’ve been when he ran for it. When was that?’
‘About an hour and a half ago. Does he know Manchester?’
‘Pretty sure he’s never been here apart from to go to the Arndale with Lex.’ He glanced at the phone in Daryl’s hand. ‘I think… I think you’d better call the police, Daz.’
‘Will they treat him as a missing person this soon?’
‘Surely they’ll do something when it’s a kid. He’s vulnerable, he’s probably broke and he’s out there in a strange city at night, alone. We can’t take any chances.’
Theo watched as his friend dialled 999 and furnished the police with a description of Connor and the situation they were in.
‘They’re going to put out an alert on social media and notify all officers in the area to be on the lookout for him,’ Daryl said when he’d hung up. ‘What should we do? Wait here and see if he comes back or go out looking for him?’
‘Get out there and try to find him before he gets into trouble, definitely,’ Theo said. ‘I guess he’ll be heading for a train or bus that could take him to Halifax. Is there a station near here?’
‘Manchester Piccadilly isn’t far.’
Theo glanced at the phone in his hand. ‘Should we tell Lexie?’
‘Let’s try the station first. Hopefully we’ll find him there safe and sound and there’ll be no need to worry her.’
‘Right.’ Theo grabbed his jacket. ‘Let’s go.’
* * *
‘Just here in the NCP,’ Connor’s new friend David said as Connor followed him down the narrow streets to his car. ‘Costs a bomb but what can you expect in a big city, right?’
‘Right.’
‘You don’t drive, I’m guessing?’
‘No,’ Connor said. ‘I’m, er, learning.’
‘What brings you to Manc then? Open day, did you say?’
‘Yeah. I’m… looking at courses. You know, now that I’ve left school.’
‘You won’t believe me but you will miss it,’ David told him, smiling. ‘Funny thing about school: feels like hell when you’re there, but you spend the rest of your life wishing you could go back.’
‘So how come you’re going to Leeds?’
‘I’ve got a friend up there who’s having a house party tonight. I’m just back from a business trip to London so I wasn’t going to go, but when I heard you say you were heading in that direction it seemed like a sign I should get off my arse and make the effort. You’re welcome to come along if you want; should be pretty wild. Always plenty of sex, drugs and banging tunes at his bashes.’
‘Thanks, but, um, I need to get somewhere.’
‘Sure. Course you do.’ He glanced sideways at Connor. ‘So you got a girlfriend then, kid? Or a boyfriend maybe?’
‘Yeah, a boyfriend. Oli.’
‘Well, he’s a lucky lad.’ David nodded to a silver Prius parked in one of the bays. ‘Here we are then. Climb in.’
* * *
‘You’re sure you haven’t had any kids here buying a one-way ticket to Halifax?’ Daryl demanded of the woman in the Piccadilly ticket office.
‘I told you, love. No Halifax tickets bought today.’
‘You’re positive? You remember every single ticket you’ve sold, do you?’
The woman frowned. ‘Look, you can ask as many times as you like, it won’t make the answer any different. I can see right here on the computer: no Halifax tickets.’
‘Here, get out of the way.’ Theo elbowed Daryl aside to talk to the woman, managing, even through his panic, to summon the smile that always worked when he needed to launch a charm offensive. ‘Sorry about my companion here, he doesn’t mean to be rude. He’s just worried. We’re looking for his son, he’s run away from home.’
‘Oh dear,’ the woman said, her brow furrowing. ‘Are you a policeman then?’
‘Er, no, I’m a godfather.’
The woman blinked. ‘Oh. Well, like I said, there’ve been no Halifax tickets bought from this station today. I’m sorry I can’t be more help.’
‘What about from the other windows, or the machines?’
‘They all go onto the central system here. The last ticket to Halifax was sold two days ago.’
Daryl nudged him. ‘Come on, we’re wasting our time. Let’s go.’
‘Hang on.’ Theo turned back to the ticket-seller. ‘Listen, the kid we’re looking for is called Connor, Connor Carson. Fifteen years old, six foot tall, curly brown hair, brown eyes… probably wearing a hoodie with a superhero of some kind on the front.’
‘The Flash,’ Daryl muttered. ‘It was red and it had a yellow lightning bolt on it.’
‘Oh!’ Theo produced the photo of their family trip to Morecambe and passed it through the hatch. ‘This is him, when he was a lot smaller. I’ve got a recent pic on my phone if you just wait a second…’
He started fumbling for his mobile as the woman took the photo, frowning.
‘No, that’s all right. I recognise this boy,’ she said. ‘He said he was eighteen.’
‘Well, he isn’t. Do you know what train he caught?’
‘He wanted tickets for the Leeds train but he didn’t have the fare. I told him he ought to try the coach if he wanted to get there any cheaper.’
Daryl frowned. ‘Leeds? Why Leeds? He lives near Halifax.’
‘I can’t answer that, I’m afraid,’ the woman said as she handed Theo back the photo. ‘Sorry.’
‘Thank you, that’s a big help,’ Theo said. ‘You don’t happen to know which coach he might have gone for, do you?’
‘Oh, he didn’t get the coach in the end. A young man overheard him trying to get tickets and offered him a lift.’
Theo frowned. ‘What? He… you’re not saying he left here with a stranger? Christ, he’s a kid!’
‘Shit,’ Daryl whispered. ‘Shit!’
The woman looked faintly guilty. ‘Well, if I’d known his real age then perhaps I might have said something, but at eighteen, what was I supposed to do? He said he was an adult and it’s not my job to babysit customers.’
‘No.’ Theo forced a smile, willing himself calm so he could get the information he knew they needed. ‘Of course it isn’t. Can you describe this man he went with?’
‘Well yes, he was… I’d suppose about twenty-five, with red hair and one of those bushy lumberjack beards the young people all seem to wear now. He had a tattoo on the back of his hand – a dolphin, I think – and he was wearing grey chinos and a blue-and-white-checked shirt.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I do hope you find your son soon. He was a lovely, polite boy.’
‘I bloody hope we do too,’ Daryl muttered. ‘Theo, come on.’
* * *
‘What do we do now?’ Daryl asked when they were outside. ‘Jesus, what could he have been thinking, getting into a car with a stranger?’
Theo flinched. ‘Shit. This is… this is bad. Right, we need to stay calm and make a plan. I think you’d better call the police and give them the description of this guy he went with. Then… well, we can either sit in your flat and wait for news or try to work out where he’s going.’
‘If he gets there. God knows what this guy’s motive is for offering him a lift.’
‘Christ, don’t say that. He’ll be OK. He has to be OK.’ Theo glanced at the family photo he still had in his hand. ‘We’d better tell Lexie, hadn’t we?’
‘We’ll have to, now. If the police put his picture on social media and she sees it, it’s going to send her into a fit. You can call her from the car. I’ll drive, I know the way.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘Leeds.’
Theo shook his head. ‘I don’t get it. Why Leeds and not Halifax? Con doesn’t know anyone in Leeds, does he?’
‘He knows one person,’ Daryl muttered. ‘I think I know where he’s trying to get to. Let’s just hope we find him when we get there.’
Chapter Thirty-Seven
‘Look, try to stay calm, Lex,’ Theo said in his gentlest voice. ‘I’m sure he’s OK. Daryl and me are on the case now, we’ll ring you as soon as we know anything. Love you, all right?’ He ended the call.
‘How did she take it?’ Daryl asked.
‘God, she was half out of her mind with worry. Tonya’s with her now so at least she’s not alone. When I told her we’d called the police… I just bloody hope we find Con at this place, that’s all.’
‘You didn’t tell her about this hipster bloke who offered to drive him, I noticed.’
‘No. She was already borderline hysterical, I didn’t think she needed anything else to worry her. I mean, it’s easy to assume the worst but he might genuinely just be offering a favour.’
‘Who sits around train stations offering lifts to kids?’
‘The guy didn’t know he was a kid. Connor told the woman in the ticket office he was eighteen. This bloke might be a sleazeball, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a pervert as well.’
‘Shit, Theo,’ Daryl whispered. ‘I’ve seriously never been more terrified than I am right now.’
‘Tell me about it.’ Theo rested a hand on his arm. ‘You want me to drive, mate?’
‘No, thanks. I know where we’re headed.’ He cast a sideways glance at Theo, noting the worry etched on his face. ‘You care a lot about that boy, don’t you?’
‘Well, you trusted him to my care. I’ve always tried to live up to that responsibility, even after me and you fell out. He’s a brilliant kid, Daz.’ He summoned a feeble smile. ‘Honestly, I’m amazed something that good could’ve come from you.’
‘No credit to me, I reckon. He gets his best q
ualities from his mums. Elise made him thoughtful and shy, and Lexie taught him right from wrong. All I did was teach him not to be a dad like I was.’
Theo sighed. ‘We’ve fucked things right up between us with all that macho posturing. If he’s hurt or… if anything happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself.’
‘It’s my fault,’ Daryl muttered. ‘Me and my bloody temper. Christ, if his mum could see me, she wouldn’t recognise me.’
‘Oh, I don’t know. The old you is in there somewhere. I realised that today.’
‘You’ve been a far better godfather than I was a father. Or a friend.’ Daryl looked at him in the rear-view mirror. ‘I never did apologise, did I?’
‘No. Well, you’d have to admit you were in the wrong first, which you’ve also never done.’
‘Then I will now. I was in the wrong. I mean, I still don’t believe we could’ve saved Bistrot Alexandre without some kind of miracle, but I should’ve talked to you. It was one of those things that just spiralled out of control. I hid the finances in a panic, hoping I could turn the tide, then it started to get worse and…’ He sighed. ‘Sorry. I really am sorry. It’s true I was worried about Connor, but that doesn’t excuse what I did.’
‘No. It doesn’t. Like I said, I had people to support too.’
‘Who?’
‘My mum. Her mental health’s been worsening for years and I relied on the income from that place to keep a roof over her head.’ He managed a smile. ‘Anyway, that’s the past. Apology accepted.’
They were silent for a long time while they drove, watching the lights on the motorway as each of them sat alone with their worries.
‘So, you and Lex are serious about each other then,’ Daryl said at last.
‘You really want to talk about that now?’
‘Christ, Theo, I want to talk about anything now.’
Theo could hear the quiver of desperation in his friend’s voice. ‘OK,’ he said quietly. ‘Then yes, we are.’
‘That’s not like you.’