by Skyla Madi
Surrounding Fortunates gasp and murmur, their excitement felt through the tiles under my feet.
Ever so slowly, the Unfortunate lifts his head and the look of his blue eyes and full cheeks slams into me. Such a beautiful face and he’s barely a day older than me. His gaze settles on mine and I see no trace of fear in their blue waters. He accepted that this is his life a long time ago.
I hate him.
I hate that he’s making me do this! Why isn’t he fighting me? Why isn’t he making this easier?
“Nine…” Kade murmurs, a whisper only for me.
I can’t do it. My hand shakes. Before I have the chance to drop it, Kade’s hand reinforces mine and he squeezes the trigger. The gun fires, sending vibrations up my arm. It kicks back into my hand, but Kaden’s straight arm holds it firmly in place.
It happens in slow motion.
One second the boy is looking at me, indifferent, and the next he’s flat on his back in a pool of blood with a bullet buried into his skull.
He’s dead…
Because of me…
“What the fuck, Kaden?” Vince shouts, storming forward.
I let go of the gun and cradle my burning hand to my chest. My ribs hurt…I don’t feel so good.
Kade tosses the gun at Vince. “She has never shot a gun before, genius. She wasn’t even holding it correctly. The next time you want her to shoot somebody, make sure she has the proper training.”
And just like that, everyone else goes back to their pointless conversations. They continue dancing and drinking their alcohol and the boy who lies dead on the floor is already forgotten…left to rot like yesterday’s trash.
Vincent huffs, tucking the gun into his waistband. “It slipped my mind.”
“I’m sure it did.”
Kade wraps a strong arm around my waist and guides me back to the stairs. He whispers soothing things in my ears, but I don’t hear what he’s saying. There’s a ringing in my left ear, in my brain, that I can’t shake. My heart squeezes against my ribs as my soul presses desperately against my skin.
It wants out.
It doesn’t want to be trapped by this weak, tainted body anymore.
Chapter Eleven
Kade
He’d barely made it twenty-four hours without killing.
Guilt swirled in his stomach, punching holes into its lining as he thought about what he did…he killed a man…another innocent to stain his rapidly diminishing soul. Kade understood that he didn’t have a choice, but it didn’t help ease the sorrow that grew in his chest. When did murdering become second nature? How did it become so easy? He swore to himself, to his dead mother, that it never would.
And yet, his death toll stacked up like pancakes on a plate.
Kade glanced at Nine, who stormed in front of him. Her shoulders were slumped, as if she were carrying the weight of the whole world upon them. Perhaps she was…
Nervously, she rubbed the palm of her hand with her fingers and hung her head. Nine was the reason he had to take over. She was the reason he did anything anymore. Immediately, it was clear to him that if he didn’t squeeze the trigger on her behalf, all of his hopes and dreams that were finally realised when Nine became a Fortunate would diminish.
And he’d be empty once again…and cold…and angry.
On the plus side, tonight was the perfect example of why Nine absolutely could not fight a war. She wasn’t a killer. If he put a gun in her hand and told her to shoot Vince, Kade was absolutely certain that she could never bring herself to do it. If she stayed with Kade and lived her life with him like he so desperately wanted from her, she’d never have to pull the trigger on anybody. He would smear his hands in blood—he’d fucking drown in it—if it meant keeping hers clean.
All he wanted was to protect her, to keep her from being torn apart by the monsters who crave blood and death…and he did.
For the moment.
It was no secret that her humanity was her weakness.
Nine wasn’t weak. He knew that better than anybody, but she wasn’t strong, either. Nine was…she was brave. She was compassionate. Nine was all of the things this world could not stand in a person like her and Kade knew in his heart that her war would never make it past day one.
She would die…
And if that happened…he’d die.
Kade trailed along behind Nine as she marched toward her room, her bare feet slapping against the hard floor. He couldn’t help the twitch at the corner of his lips, urging him to smile. She was unlike anyone else. A beautiful butterfly with her own pattern. An undeniable force of bewildering individuality. She was the love of his life.
Kade sauntered to a stop, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his slacks as Nine plucked a key from the breast section of her dress. He was going to comment on it, then changed his mind. He doubted she was in any mood for inappropriate playfulness. Guilt flared in his stomach again, reminding him that a person died only minutes ago. The dead Unfortunate’s memory should last longer than two minutes.
He waited patiently as Nine’s shaking hands struggled to get the key in. He gave her time, despite the irritation that pricked underneath his collar.
Five seconds stretched into ten. Ten stretched into fifteen. Nine cursed under her breath as the tip of the key scratched against the metal lock and the stutter in her hand prevented it from seamlessly slipping in.
Freeing his hands from his pockets, Kaden stepped around Nine and removed the key from her trembling grasp, her warm skin sending tingles up the length of his arm.
Swallowing hard, Nine glanced sideways at him as he gently brushed her hand away, his light touch absorbing all of her shudders and shakes. As Kade unlocked the door and held it open for her, Nine slipped inside without a glance in his direction.
Something grave twisted in his stomach and Kade hesitated. He wasn’t afraid of much, but the auburn-haired, violet-eyed woman in the other room terrified him when she was mad…
Because she was the only one who could rip his heart from his chest.
Because she was the only one that could tear him to shreds.
∞ Nine ∞
My body hurts…It’s the strangest sensation. Though my own wounds are well on the way to being healed, I feel as though I’ve been crushed under the weight of a large tree.
That Unfortunate…his face…it wasn’t twisted in fear. I think that’s what terrifies me the most. The fact he accepted that this was his life is what lingers in my mind…not the blood or the pieces of brain and skull that splattered the pristine tiles. He wasn’t shocked. He wasn’t sad. He was…expecting.
I hold the palm of my hand against my stomach and drag myself across the room, settling only when my thighs brush against the low window ledge. Behind me, the door clicks shut and Kade slips the lock into place.
It’s dark outside. White glowing lanterns light up a path that leads to a large, white gazebo. Fortunates mingle inside it while the Unfortunates stand and watch, their stares downcast to the floor as they hold trays of drinks.
What a waste of life…catering to those who think they’re better than you. I can’t stand it.
“How do you do it?” I ask, swiping at a tear I didn’t feel until it rolled down my cheek.
Close by, glass clinks together. Curious, I turn around just as Kade removes the cap on a bottle of alcohol and pours its contents into two bottom heavy glasses.
“This helps.”
Grabbing a glass, he swallows the golden liquid in a single mouthful.
“I’m serious, Kaden,” I say, stepping away from the window. “How’d you do it?’
“Easy.” He flicks his dark stare to me, making my tummy flip. “It was you or him, and I won’t lose you for anybody.”
I take another step forward. “But he was an innocent.”
“And so are you.”
Kade pushes a glass across the marble bar surface, toward me.
Ambling closer, I cross my arms over my chest. “You’re being bi
ased. You caring about me doesn’t make me more of an innocent than him.”
“I don’t just fucking care for you. I love you. I’d slaughter this whole damn town for you.”
“You’d aimlessly murder the innocent for me, but you won’t fight the guilty beside me in war? How does that make sense to you?”
“Nothing floating around in my head has made sense since you showed up.”
Unbuttoning his jacket, Kade slips it down his arms, folds it in half, and drops it against the bench. I frown as he loosens his tie and frees it from the collar of his light blue shirt.
“Plunging a society as fragile as this one into civil war is a bad idea,” he tells me, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows, exposing his strong forearms. “And getting yourself killed for something that will never change is moronic.”
I flinch because fighting for basic human rights isn’t a bad idea. Giving people a better quality life isn’t moronic.
“I don’t expect you to understand why—”
“You’re right. I don’t understand!”
“I don’t understand why it took one, one dodgy, insignificant asshole to whisper something in your ear and you instantly trust him.”
I didn’t trust Oliver at first, but he made some valid points. He needs a leader for his revolution and I’ll gladly step up to the plate.
“Oliver isn’t like that.”
He bristles at the mention of Oliver’s name.
“You’ve barely known him a day, Nine. They want you dead! Not a single Fortunate out there wants you alive! You think this fucking Oliver wants to level the field, give everyone equal opportunity? No. Why? Because that means he’s no longer on top. He’ll have to get his hands dirty—work for a living.”
I shake my head. He doesn’t know Oliver is involved with an Unfortunate and I can’t tell him. Oliver wants the opportunity to be with the woman he loves without fear, without hiding. He deserves that right.
“Kaden…”
“Don’t Kaden me. You will live the rest of your life as a Fortunate and will do so by my side.”
I flinch. “You’d take my choices away?”
“If it keeps you safe. From here on out, I will be the one to make every decision that directly impacts your life on your behalf. I am the only one with your best interests at heart.”
A lump swells in my throat. Kade might love me. He might be different in some ways when compared to his peers, but he is still a Fortunate. He still has his agendas and his seemingly endless list of prejudices.
“Forcing me to remain a Fortunate, to surrender my free will to you…that’s a death sentence. I love you, Kaden…but you’re out of your mind if you think I’d be happy with that.”
“You will, eventually. Now, if you don’t mind, I want to sit down and enjoy my drink in peace.”
I scowl at the back of his head. I’m not going to take this lying down. Is that seriously what he expects me to do? I’ve fought hard to get where I am. I’m not like the rest of them. I have a voice and it is loud, and it will not be silenced by anyone—not even Kade.
I push at the straps of my dress. He thinks I’m weak. After all this time he thinks I’m not capable of changing minds? Of changing the world?
I’ll show him. We’ll see who’s weak.
I push the straps of my red dress over my shoulder and free my arms. Wiggling, I manage to push the tight, bunched fabric over my breasts and down to my hips. Without a glance over his shoulder, Kade lowers himself onto the couch and places his drink on the little cylinder side table. Dropping his head back against the couch, he sighs and closes his eyes.
“I may be weak in strength, but you are weak in spirit,” I say, stepping out the puddle of red fabric that has pooled at my feet.
“There are worse things,” he mutters, not bothering to open his eyes.
How much sleep did he get last night? Was it as fleeting as mine? I was exhausted, but I couldn’t fall asleep until the sun was up. I feel safe when the sun is up.
I walk on the tips of my toes, careful not to make any noise as I step around the lounge and slip by the cylinder table. He inhales through his nose and his eyes flutter open. His black irises glue to me. They glue to my body, to the black, silky fabric that caresses it. I’ve never worn anything so comfortable. I glance at his throat as he swallows hard and lifts his head. He straightens his spine and leans off the back of the couch, holding himself so…formally…in his seated position.
Kaden’s dark stare sweeps down the length of my body and back up again. I wonder what he sees. I’m still malnourished, still beaten and bruised, but he doesn’t look at me like I’m sick. He looks at me like…like I’m flawless. Like I’m someone worth being looked at so deeply, so intensely.
Unexpectedly, his dark gaze locks with mine and it conjures tingles along my skin.
“Take it off,” he orders in his husky voice. “All of it.”
I frown. Take them off?
“But I like them. They’re beautiful.”
Kaden shakes his head as he pushes himself to his feet “You’re beautiful. You make them look beautiful.”
He slips his hands against my shoulders and turns me around. I gulp as he curls his finger around the strap, brushing my spine with the tips of his fingers. I cup my breasts as he unhooks the clasp and the fabric sags.
“Without your body underneath, it’s only a scrap of fabric,” he says, flicking the straps down my arms.
Swallowing, I glance over my shoulder. Kade doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t have to. Following the order in his eyes, I turn around and drop my stare to the second button on his crisp, clean shirt.
“You’re nervous?” he murmurs, brushing his thumb along my forearm. Subtly, I inhale through my nose and fill my lungs to capacity. I exhale.
“You always make me nervous…” I whisper, lifting my gaze.
The brush of his finger against my forearm turns into a full palm stroke as he curls his hand around my wrist and pulls it away from my breast. I swallow again, uncomfortable with how my muscles are clenching. How long has it been? I can’t remember. It feels like a lifetime ago.
I lower one hand to my side and it exposes my right breast. Warm air exudes from Kade and wraps around me, comforting me like a soft, heated blanket. He doesn’t look at my bare breast. He keeps his attention on my face, savouring the way my jaw clenches and my eyelids flutter whenever a bout of uncertainty slams into me.
“You don’t want a war, Nine,” he mutters, grabbing my other wrist in his large hand.
He lowers it to my side and releases me. The bra falls from my breasts and slips down my arms. My heart pounds relentlessly in my chest as the bra lands at our feet and rests against my toes.
“I don’t?”
He shakes his head, the corner of his lips twitching in amusement. “You want me. You want to take care of my house…to be my wife…to raise my children.”
My lips part as Kade lowers himself to his knees and plants a kiss against my hip bone. Sparks ignite, forcing me to suck in a sharp breath between my teeth. I see what he’s doing…but it’s not going to work.
Kade grips the hem of my underwear in his hands, planting another kiss on my hip, and slides them down my thighs. The lower they fall, the higher my pulse climbs. Until I’m naked…
…and exposed…
…completely and utterly vulnerable.
“Marrying an Unfortunate isn’t noble.”
“And you expect to change the world with that attitude?”
I smile, despite the sombre feeling floating around my chest. “You truly want all of that? With me?”
He plants another kiss on my skin and my kneecaps waver. “Absolutely.”
I clench my teeth, uneasy. A little while ago he couldn’t bring himself to say he loves me and now I’m the girl he wants to marry? To have children with? Boy, did that escalate quickly.
“I know what you’re trying to do,” I say, keeping my stare on the painting ahead of me. It’s
easy to defy him when I’m not looking directly into those Fortunate eyes. “And it won’t work.”
Exhaling, Kade pushes himself to his feet and impatiently drops his head back. My heart races and my lungs squeeze, forcing me to take subtle, shallow breaths. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to not feel anxious in the presence of a Fortunate—Kade or otherwise.
“I’m asking you for help.”
Groaning, he pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “You’re asking me to commit suicide.”
“I’m not.” I step closer and hesitate, only once, before planting my hands on his slim hips. “I’m asking you to prevent it from happening to me.”
Kade snaps away from me and turns his back.
“Do you realise how offensive it is when you say you’d rather kill yourself than be with me?” he bites out, pushing ten angry fingers through his hair.
My heart stutters and I frown. “That’s not how I intend it and you know it.”
Sighing, he turns around. “And if your little war fails? If we’re strung up, our skin whipped from our bodies? What then?”
Suddenly, I feel small, like I’m an Unfortunate again. His dark eyes are demanding and scary…beautiful and full of chaos.
“I don’t know, Kade, but at least we tried.”
A flare in his eyes begs me to reconsider one more time.
But I can’t.
If not me, who? Who will stand up for the oppressed? Kade doesn’t understand because he wasn’t raised by moderators. He wasn’t crammed into a room filled with crying children who already wanted to die. He hasn’t suffered like I’ve suffered—like we’ve suffered.
We need change.
I reach out for him and his chest tightens as he sharply sucks air between his teeth and holds his breath. I open the first button…and the next…and the next…until I’m able to slide my palms against his firm chest. His skin is soft and clean, and he smells amazing. He smells like change—like hope. At least, I’m sure he would if those things had a scent.
Leaning in, I press my cheek against his bare chest and close my eyes. His heart thunders under my ear, beating faster than mine. It’s a wonderful sound.