by Blue Saffire
Also by Blue Saffire
Calling on Quinn
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Books. Change. Lives.
Copyright © 2020 by Blue Saffire
Cover and internal design © 2020 by Sourcebooks
Cover design by Stephanie Gafron/Sourcebooks
Cover image © FXQuadro/Shutterstock
Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks.
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. Sourcebooks is not associated with any product or vendor in this book.
Published by Sourcebooks Casablanca, an imprint of Sourcebooks
P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410
(630) 961-3900
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Contents
Front Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Back Cover
Prologue
Breathe
Kevin
I drag a hand through my hair. My stomach feels sour. The room has a stillness that doesn’t feel right.
Looking around the basement of my home, none of the gym equipment has been able to lure me into the abyss I require. There’s been no escaping my thoughts. Something is off.
I never should have pushed her so hard. Yet, I don’t think this is about our fight. My gut tells me something is wrong. No matter how mad Dem gets with me, she still makes sure I know she’s okay.
Replaying our fight, I try to see if our words were heated enough to warrant her ignoring my calls and not checking in. I work my jaw. From the beginning, it was clear things would be complicated between us, but we’ve come so far.
It’s the reason I lost my cool this time. I want more. I want her in every way. I want a future.
Thinking back on it now, I feel like shit. It wasn’t the time to argue with her. It was an asshole move on my behalf. Now I’m not sure if she hasn’t called because of it or if something else is wrong.
“Fuck,” I bellow and punch the heavy bag in front of me.
I shove both hands in my hair and throw my head back. I have to make a decision. My instincts are telling me the clock is ticking and I need to make a move.
The PI and ex-detective in me demand I go with my gut. The sound of paws on the steps draws my attention. Sunny, Dem’s pit bull, ambles down the stairs and over to me.
I squat in front of him and scratch behind his ears. Sunny whimpers and looks up at me. I get the feeling he knows something’s wrong with his mommy too.
“She’s not avoiding me, is she, boy? Mum’s in trouble, isn’t she?”
Sunny barks as if responding to me. I tug my phone from my pocket and pull up the one person I know will help me see this clearly. We need to act fast and think faster.
“Aye, Kevin. What about ye?” Quinn answers the line with a smile in his voice.
My heart sinks. He’s probably proposed to Alicia by now and started the celebration. However, if I’m going to have that same future with the woman I care for, I need his help. My older brother has always been there to fix things when everyone has needed. I need him now.
“Something’s not right, Quinn,” I say quickly. “She hasn’t called. Something’s not right.”
My stomach turns and tightens as I hear the words out loud. It’s like they become true as they leave my lips. I should’ve called sooner.
“Ach, hold tight. I’m on my way.”
I close my eyes as his words sink in. We’re going to make this right. I’ll find out what’s going on, and I’ll make it all right.
Chapter 1
How We Met
Danita
Two and a half years ago…
“Moralez,” one of the beat cops croons, holding up his beer.
I return the gesture. “Norton.”
This bar is like a second home for most of these guys. Many avoiding real life, wanting to cling to the thrill of their last collar just a little bit longer. Others don’t want to deal with the reality of their home life as a husband or father.
I come here for the secrets. Lips get loose after hours with a few beers in the system. This is where I do most of my real work.
“Good job out there,” Norton says with a smile.
Good guy. This is his escape from his cheating wife. He won’t divorce her because of their twins, but he’s still faithful to her and holds on to hope that they can fix things. Hey, I’m not going to be the one to burst that bubble.
We tell the lies we need to survive, after all.
“Thanks,” I murmur.
I wish I could be proud of what I’ve done today. I used to be able to relish getting the bad guys and doing what’s right. Not here. The lines are blurred around this place. Good deeds are undone by those who are supposed to follow the rules but have turned to greed instead.
I look around at all the smiling faces. Some of these guys are as dirty as it gets. All cops, all wearing badges, but not all good guys.
For three years, I’ve been surrounded by snakes of the worst kind. The trouble is figuring out which ones are the bad guys and which ones are just assholes. It’s my job to find the bad guys.
Something that hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be. I miss my family. I miss m
y real life. Going undercover always poses a risk of being in for longer than you expect, but this has been beyond what I ever expected.
I think I’m losing a piece of myself with each day, but that’s what makes me work harder to do my job. After all, I have someone I promised myself I’d make proud. If I can wrap this case up, I can go home and finally lick these old wounds. Or should I say, when I get this done, I’m going home and I’m going to hug my family.
“Hey, Moralez.” I turn and look up. Detective Harris hovers over me with a beer in his hand. “Nice stuff out there.”
“Thanks.” I nod, not missing the fact that he’s staring down my shirt.
This guy is on my dirty list. Although I don’t have him dead to rights yet, I know it’s only a matter of time. He has given me this vibe since my first day. I don’t trust him, and he’s a chauvinistic pig.
“I thought that case was too big for you, but you surprised us all. Pretty and smart.”
I turn away from him, ready to dismiss this conversation. If he’s not saying something condescending, it’s offensive in some other way. Yet he’s totally oblivious to it, like the world is his to do as he pleases, and we all need to excuse him for his idiocy.
He doesn’t get the clue when I don’t respond to him. He continues to stand there breathing down my neck. When I turn back to him, his gaze roams all over me. My skin starts to crawl.
“Did you need something?” I say, hoping this once he’ll take the hint.
“Actually, I was about to offer to get you another beer,” he says and gives me a smile that I’m guessing he thinks is alluring.
Detective Harris is actually very attractive. That is, if he never opens his mouth to speak. The problem is all his good looks go out the window the moment he does.
There isn’t enough beer in the world to make me ignore his arrogance. Those blue eyes and his handsome face aren’t enough either. Although I have seen it work on a few others over the last three years.
That cocky grin grows as I look him over. He runs a hand through his thick dark hair. Yup, not doing a thing for me.
“I’m good. Thanks, though.”
I turn away to do some more people watching. To my dismay, Detective Harris takes that as a cue to have a seat beside me. I look at the small dance floor with a few dancers on it, plotting my escape.
Thankfully, a few other officers come over and take a seat at my table. I almost laugh at the grunt of annoyance that comes from Detective Harris. He has to know he doesn’t have a chance.
Not only because he rubs me all kinds of wrong ways, but I haven’t slept with one cop on this force in the three years I’ve been here. It’s not my style. I’m here for a job and I’m focused on getting it done.
I get close enough to these guys as friends, but I draw the line there. It’s one of the reasons I stick to hanging out with the married guys who actually respect their marriages. They’re also the most talkative because they feel their wives don’t get the job or won’t take the time to listen.
Nope, I’m not trading ass for secrets or for a way into the good old boys’ club. My vibrator does just fine and I have batteries on auto-ship. No messy feelings and no attachments.
“Oh, look what the cat dragged in,” Stevens, one of our new detectives, croons. “Blackhart. What the fuck are you doing here?”
I’ve heard that name before. The two detectives who left the force come up a lot. From what I gather, they were the good guys. Too good to stand by and watch the corruption plaguing this precinct.
I’ve often wondered if they’re the reason I’m here. There was a whistleblower who got the attention of the FBI. That’s how I got placed here. However, that person was never revealed to me.
All I know is I’m here to connect the dots. No one wanted me to have this assignment in the first place. Some because they didn’t think I could pull it off, and others, I’m guessing, because they know if I do, a lot of heads are going to roll.
In the end, I think the fact that everyone doubts me is the reason I’m still here and why I get so little support. I’m forgotten because someone wants this case forgotten. At least, that’s what my intuition tells me. It’s also why I’m determined as hell to stick this out.
I turn to place a face to the name I’ve heard whispers about. However, I’m not ready for what I find. My mouth drops open, and I stare as if I’ve lost all brain function.
With looks like that, this man was never meant to be an officer of the law. He should be on someone’s billboard. Fine isn’t a strong enough word for this tall drink of water.
I place him at about six four. He’s built, but not bulky. However, he’s not that lean either. He falls right in between.
He sure as hell fills out the T-shirt and well-worn jeans he has on. The tats peeking from the right short sleeve have me licking my lips. I’ve never wanted to climb a tree more in my life, and I don’t even like redheads. Yet, his neat quiff of red locks brings character to his strong, handsome face.
The smile that comes from his full lips is enough to make me groan. No, seriously. I stifle the sound just barely. When he gets to our table, his green eyes come into view.
They sparkle with humor and life, and yet they have a light of mystery and maybe a little hint of danger. What I don’t see is the look of asshole that permeates most of the jerks around here.
That sense of entitlement because of authority doesn’t ooze from him. I find that interesting. Male or female, it’s a trait most cops have. Especially the dirty ones.
Don’t get me wrong. I know plenty in law enforcement who are missing that look, but here in this precinct I’ve been assigned to, it’s something you can’t miss. It’s that same arrogance that’s going to allow me to take this place down.
“I heard you guys are showing off,” the guy I’m assuming to be Blackhart says. He tugs Stevens in for a hug. “Congratulations, Detective, I told you it would happen.”
“I got lucky. You and Quinn left, and they’re scrambling to find a few good guys to replace you two,” Stevens says with a big smile.
It’s not lost on me that this guy is towering over Stevens as they stand side by side. I’m tickled because I actually have to look up at Stevens. My amusement is cut into by Detective Harris at my side.
He nearly growls, pulling my attention toward him. He glares at Stevens and Blackhart. It’s clear he’s not a fan.
“Fuck you, Stevens. We have plenty of great detectives without those two pussies,” he snarls.
My brows shoot up. Now, Harris is no small guy, but that’s some big talk. I turn to look at Blackhart.
All humor and lightness have left his face. However, the dark brooding look he now dons is sexy as hell. I let my gaze roll over him. My nipples tighten against my bra. It might be time for me to leave.
“Orin. I see they still haven’t taken out the trash. Ya do know I have no problem breaking that jaw, again.”
Oh, I like this guy, and where’d that sexy accent come from? I didn’t pick that up at first. I think I’m drooling. It’s very likely I have drool rolling down my chin.
“Let’s go,” Harris barks at me as he stands.
I look up at him like he’s lost his mind. I’m not here with him, didn’t arrive with him, and don’t plan on leaving with him. He looks down at me expectantly.
“Excuse me?” I say and lift a brow.
“Come dance with me; this table is crowded now. I can’t talk to you with all this garbage around.”
“Nah, I’m good right here. Thank you.”
His cheeks turn red and his nostrils flare. I don’t know what his problem is, but he better get over it. I’m not interested.
“Ya heard the lass. Go on about ya business, Orin.” Blackhart says his first name so hard, it drips with disdain.
“I don’t need you to help me,” I say to Blackhart.
That cloud that covered his handsome face lifts. His gaze homes in on me. This time, he’s the one who appraises me. A small smile turns up the corner of his lips.
“Ach, love. I was only being the gentleman my mum raised me to be.”
I squeeze my thighs together as that deep voice is aimed at me. His entire presence is intoxicating. There isn’t a part of him that I’ve found lacking yet.
“Fuck this,” Harris bites out and storms off.
I don’t bother to turn to watch him go. I’m caught in a pair of green eyes that are amazing and intriguing. Blackhart’s smile grows as he moves to get a stool and brings it over to sit at the head of the table, locking his eyes on me once he’s seated.
“The name is Kevin, love. Who do I have the pleasure of meeting?”
“This is Detective Moralez,” Stevens says proudly. “Serg replaced your pretty ass with hers.”
Kevin leans back in his seat and crosses his big arms over his chest. “So, he’s upgrading these days. Aye, grand. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you on the way here. Nice work. Big win today.”
I’ve been congratulated a hundred times today, but this is the first time that it’s meant something. At least it feels that way as my chest swells and my heart blooms. I haven’t felt this way in a long time.
Not even when Eric, my handler, gives me praise. I don’t want to dig too deeply into why that is. I shrug it off and take a sip of my beer.
“Thanks,” I say after I swallow.
Stevens launches into details about my most recent bust. His face glows as he gives me accolades. Stevens is one of the good guys for now. I haven’t had a reason to add him to my list.
Maureen Reed, one of the other beat cops, comes over and starts up a conversation. As I get lost in talk with her about the new motorcycle she’s thinking about getting, I can feel those green eyes on me. I do everything I can not to turn and look at him.
“I’ve never seen Blackhart look at anyone like that before,” Maureen whispers in my ear.
“Yeah, well, he’s not my type,” I lie.
She snorts. “Honey, he’s so hot, I’d fuck him, type or not.”
I shake my head at her. “Listen, I need to go to the little girls’ room. I’ll be right back.”