by Blue Saffire
A chill runs through me. I crumble the paper in my hand and look around the lot. Harris’s taillights flash as his car exits the parking lot.
Him showing up after the fire pops into my head. Suddenly, I start to think of all the other times he’s been hostile or aggressive toward me. This note has a hint of his voice to it. That fire wasn’t organized like the jobs of the ring I’m after, but it was sloppy as fuck like some shit Harris would do.
“Okay, asshole. You want to play.”
I shove the note in my pocket and march to my patrol car. My blood is boiling. I’ve never been more motivated to take these assholes down in all five years I’ve been here.
If Harris wants to make this personal, we can get personal. It’s time for me to sweet talk his blabbermouth partner and see what I can get.
No risk, no reward. I’m tired of playing it safe. I want my life back and I want these guys to pay.
* * *
Kevin
“What’s going on?” I ask as I work the knots out of Dem’s shoulders.
She sits on the floor in front of the couch I’m on, lost in her thoughts. She’s been stewing since she got home from her shift. I had one of the guys watching out for her today since so much needed my attention at the office. I had a ton of catching up to do, so I don’t know what her day was like.
“Nothing. Work stuff. First day back, and it’s like everything waited for me to return,” she replies.
I call bullshit, but I bite my tongue. Instead, I kiss the top of her head and wrap her in my embrace. Some of the tension releases from her body.
“You in the mood for some binge-watching?”
“Not really. This is nice. I want to stay like this.”
Burying my face in her neck, I inhale deeply. It’s times like this that I wish I could take it all away. The things she’s not telling me, the job, all of it.
If I could, I’d make it so she never has to worry again, but I’ll be honest with myself. From the time I first met her, I knew the job meant something to her. I don’t know if she’d be happy without it.
“Have you ever thought about having kids?” I blurt the words out, not thinking.
She stiffens in my hold. I’m frustrated with myself, but it’s out there. I can’t take it back now.
Instead, I reach to lift her into my lap and sit back on the couch with her in my arms. She stares into her lap while chewing on her lip. I can see the wheels turning.
“Humor me, love.”
“Yes, I’ve wanted a family. At least, it’s been something I’ve thought about in the last few years. I have a long way to go before I can get to something like that, though.”
“What does that mean?”
“You somewhat understand my situation. It’s been a long time. I’ve lost pieces of me. I don’t know if I can explain it. All I know is this: I’m going to need time to find… I’ll need to get back to me.”
I totally understand where she’s coming from. You can’t begin to imagine how hard it is to go deep undercover. If I do the math and I’m right, she’s been under for over three or four years. In my opinion, she should have been pulled by now.
I still have so many questions as to why she hasn’t been. I’ve been guessing at which agency or department she’s with. None of it makes sense.
“Did you renovate that big house for a wife and kids?” she asks, breaking through my spinning thoughts.
“Aye, well, with the hope of someday having a wife and a few wee ’un, I’ve been wanting to find the one and settle.”
“Kevin, I—”
“We’re talking,” I say and kiss the side of her face.
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’m a big lad. Don’t fuss yerself.”
She purses her lips. “Have you guys had any new breakthroughs in the shooting? Anything I can look into?”
I accept the change of topic, for now. The last thing I want to do is drag her mood down any further. However, this topic is a mood killer for me. The frustration of returning to pretty much the same status boils my blood.
“Quinn is about to return from following a lead. We’re sending Scott, one of our guys, to keep an eye on the situation. It’s the most we’ve got. A guy named Lo Davis, it’s an alias, but we’ve pinned him down and tracked him to Boston. He was the last person Cal called.
“We don’t want to play our hand too soon, so Scott is going to sit on him and see what we can learn. We’re still flying blind. As much as I hate to, I think we’re going to have to put some pressure on Con to find out what he can give you to help speed things along. Trent has tried questioning him, but the kid clams up. It’s not just you he’s hiding something from,” I explain.
“But we don’t want to push him too hard. How about we try to loosen him up one more time? If you think pushing him will cause him to shut down, we can’t afford to rush things now.”
She’s right. It’s the reason my brothers and I haven’t forced the issue and have been trying to work around this. If we can figure this out, we don’t have to involve the kid.
I nuzzle her cheek. “You look tired. Come on, let’s get you to bed. I have to be at the house for the movers in the morning. Maybe you can come along for a bit and help me figure out how to make the place look like a home. We’ll set something up with Con for your next day off.”
“Tomorrow. Set something up for tomorrow. I’ll make the time.”
“Aye, you’ve got it.”
Chapter 29
Vision of Us
Danita
I step into the basement of Kevin’s house and smile. This wasn’t what I was expecting to find down here. He has a fully equipped gym, including a boxing ring, heavy bag, weights, and a wall of mirrors.
That body doesn’t work itself into shape. This place screams of his dedication to keeping that six-pack and all the rest of his delicious body in order. Speaking of dedication, I stop at the bottom of the steps and lean against the wall to watch Kevin and Con in the center of the ring.
“Aye, that a boy. Keep your hands up,” he says proudly to his nephew.
The affection that oozes off Kevin is heartwarming. Whenever I see him around the kids, I can tell how much they mean to him. I don’t think he realizes it, but his entire demeanor changes.
I bet he would make a great father. I think back to our conversation last night. My heart aches. I wanted to be excited about the question, but I know better than to get either of our hopes up. Even if I get out of this, I have a lot of work to do on myself before I can think of a family.
At Kevin’s age, he probably wants all of those things way before I’ll be ready to give them to him. Yet, a tiny part of me can’t help but daydream about what if. That’s the part that’s bleeding out as I watch Kev with his nephew—seeing our own son sparring with his dad.
“Never going to happen,” I huff under my breath.
“Hey, Detective Moralez,” Con says as he and Kevin turn their attention on me.
“Hey, Con.” I wave and push off the wall. I’m dressed in leggings and a tank. Kevin told me we’d be playing a game of basketball or something along those lines. Although I’m an hour behind the time I was supposed to arrive. “So, do I get to embarrass you in the ring too?”
“I would love to see that,” Con says, taking off his gloves.
Kevin laughs and shakes his head as he moves to step out of the ring. I will never get tired of the sight of this man all sweaty and sexy. I bite my lip as I watch the beads of sweat roll down his abs, his tattoo glistening.
“Aye, but it won’t be today,” he says and stops in front of me to tug me into his sweat-soaked body by the front of my tank top.
His warm lips feel like home. It’s been a long day, made longer by annoying suspects and witnesses. People will lie to cover the simplest thing and hinde
r an investigation from coming to a swift end for nothing.
I place my head against his chest and take in his strength. What I would give to have this all the time. I wrap my arms around his waist and almost forget we’re not alone until Con walks over.
“Hey, thanks for getting that bike fixed for me. I thought I was going to have to kick Soren’s ass,” Con says.
“Next time, don’t be cutting school and borrowing bikes,” Kevin grumbles and musses Con’s hair. “And ya’ll be paying her back every cent. Ya hear me?”
The smile falls from Con’s face. “Yeah, I hear you.”
I pull from Kevin’s arms and toss an arm over Con’s shoulders. “I think you’ve gotten taller since the last time I saw you.”
This brings that adorable smile back to his face and a blush to his cheeks. He looks up at his uncle with a smirk on his lips and tosses his arm around my waist to taunt his uncle.
“I’m not yer Uncle Trent. Don’t test me,” Kevin says with mirth in his eyes, but warning in his voice.
“What do you mean?” Con says innocently.
“Aye, playing with fire. A muppet yer mum didn’t raise.”
Con throws his hands in the air. “All right, all right,” he says and takes a step away from me as Kevin moves toward him.
I can’t contain my laughter. I cover my mouth as I snicker at them. Kevin rolls his eyes at me.
“Why don’t you go hit the shower? I’ll get the grill started and you can take over once you’re done?”
Con’s face lights up with the promise of taking on the responsibility. “Sure, I’ll be quick.”
He takes off upstairs and Kevin pulls me back into his embrace. I look up at him and smile. However, he has a frown on his face.
“You look racked. I shouldn’t have had you come with me this morning,” he says with concern.
“I’m fine. It was a long day, but nothing some good food and a beer can’t fix.”
He seems to get lost in thought for a beat. When his eyes clear, he cups my face and kisses me gently. I draw my brows in. It’s the opposite of the Kevin I know. He can be tender, but those moments aren’t as frequent as the passionate ones.
“What was that for?”
He looks my face over, then gives me a bright smile. “I’ve missed you today. Did you get to look through the house on your way in?”
I give him a skeptical glance, but answer anyway. “Yeah, it looks great. You did better than you thought you would. I like it. It has a homey feel to it.”
“You say that as if you didn’t help out a ton before you left for work. I got the hang of it after watching you direct the first few rooms. It’s not like Erin didn’t do most of the work already. I only had to figure out where it all went,” he says.
“Well, you did a fine job, Mr. Blackhart. I would totally feel at home if it were my place.”
He gives me a little squeeze. “It is your home. Did you not see Sunny up there in his new room?” I give him a warning look. “It’s home. At least for now. We’ll be staying here tonight. Con has already claimed his room.”
“Speaking of which, I know you. You sent him to shower for a reason. Let’s get the grill going so I can hang with him while you disappear for a bit.”
“Ach, she thinks she knows me, she does.”
I laugh and step out of his arms, giving him a shove toward the stairs. “I’m going to kick your ass in that ring one of these days.”
“Maybe I’ll give you a chance.”
* * *
Kevin
I take my time in the shower to give Dem a chance to bond with Con some more. When I step out, I dress in sweats and a T-shirt. My mind hasn’t stopped wondering about her words down in the gym.
She could feel at home here. I’ve never wanted to make that happen more. It felt right having her here this morning, helping me to get this place set up.
I let her take over. Something about her putting her personal touch on my home struck a chord in me. A few times her face lit up as if she were thinking the same thing I was.
This could be ours.
My phone rings, bringing me back to the present. I go to answer and find that it’s Trent. Taking a deep breath, I answer the phone.
It never used to be this tense when one of my siblings would call. Now, each call holds a heavy weight. I never know what I’m going to hear when I answer.
“Trent, what about ye?”
“What’s up, bro? I need your thoughts on something,” he returns.
He has my attention. Something in his voice intrigues me. Trent is always sure of himself, but there’s a little hesitance tonight.
“Shoot, you have my ear.”
He takes a pause before he breathes deeply into the phone. “Fuck, I should be focused on the case, but…the lass has corrupted my noodle.”
Now he has my full attention. I move over to my new bed and sit at the foot. This may take a while.
“Who exactly are we talking about?”
“Molly’s dance instructor.”
“Ah, okay, this is new.”
He sighs. “Not really. I’ve been flirting, but I… She’s different. Sweet, but sassy. Gentle, but tough. I get this feeling she’s hiding from something, though.”
I rub my forehead. “At least she’s not hiding something.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” I purse my lips. “So, what’s the problem?”
“Like I said, she’s hiding from something, and I think that’s why she’s reluctant to take me seriously.”
“Trent, no one takes you seriously. You make that impossible.”
“Screw you, Kev. I know how to be serious.”
I chuckle. It feels good to rib my little brother. We haven’t had a one-on-one talk like this in a while.
“Aye, ya do, but I’ve never seen it.”
“Why did I call you?” he groans. “I would be better off talking to Molly.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” I say through my laughter. I think about my own situation and my heart pangs for my brother. “Sometimes you have to wait it out. If this is what you want and it’s worth having, take your time. Let her get comfortable enough to trust you to know her and what she’s hiding from. Be there.”
“Is it crazy that I think she’s the one?”
I pause. I think I knew Dem was the one from the first time I saw her. I may not have known what that feeling was, but I felt it.
“Not at all. When you know, you know.” The words leave my mouth, and I know I’m talking to myself as well.
I know Dem is it. She’s the piece I’ve been looking for all along.
“Kev?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t have a good feeling about whatever she’s hiding.” He allows his words to hang in the air.
I know my brother. When he gets a gut feeling, it’s right 100 percent of the time. I clench my jaw.
“Then, when ya find out what it is, we’ll be ready to have yer back. Ya know this.”
“Aye, I do. Thanks, Kev. I needed to get that off my chest.”
“Not a problem. Anytime.”
I get ready to hang up, but he’s not done. I should have known better. He turns the table on me.
“So, you’re gone for her?”
“Aye, I am.”
He snorts. “You do know she’s keeping something from us.”
I scoff. Trent has been onto Dem from the beginning. I’ve tried to warn him off, but he’s been like a dog with a bone. It’s that damn intuition.
“You let me worry about that,” I reply.
He gives a hearty laugh. “Oh, you are going to have something to worry about. I give Quinn another week before he zones in on it. He’s been distracted with Alicia. As soon as he pulls his head out of her pussy, you two be
tter be ready,” he warns.
“We’ll be fine.”
“Hmm. Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Anyway, I have that job in the morning. I’m going to get some sleep.”
“Good night,” I say.
“Night, bro. Talk to you later.”
* * *
Danita
“I make a great burger, don’t I?” Con says with his chest poked out.
“You did a good job. You have skills,” I say as I wipe my mouth and stand to take our plates to the sink.
Kevin joined us for dinner, but excused himself in the middle. Again, he’s giving me the time I need to bond with Conroy. So far, so good.
“Can I ask you something?” Conroy says, his voice full of apprehension.
I look up from the sink and over at him. He has moved to sit at the island across from me. His green eyes are fixed on me.
“Sure.”
“Do you think my dad’s going to pull through?”
Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting that. I school my features and straighten my spine. This is going to take all I have, to get through.
I still feel like this is all my fault. I’m the reason this young man and his sisters are in limbo, hoping their father pulls through and that their mother will make a full recovery. I don’t want to think about the way Erin looked the last time I saw her. That was not Cal’s wife.
“I’m hoping he does. He’s a great friend. It hurts that something like this has happened to him. I wish there were more I could do,” I say.
“You seemed angry with him that day…” He trails off and looks down at the countertop. “I watched you guys talk. You were mad at him.”
“Yeah, I was. He put you in danger. You shouldn’t have been there,” I say.
“Is that the only reason?”
“Yeah, kiddo. Your father was working on a dangerous case. It was a risk that we were meeting up in the first place. I was concerned about your safety.”
“My dad is a good man. Everyone gives him shit for messing things up sometimes, but he means well. I think…I think he’s smarter than people give him credit for.
“I know what that’s like, you know? Being smarter than people think. They underestimate you and don’t listen because they think you don’t know better or that they know more than you.