by Blue Saffire
I return to the other files. This time, something else sticks out. It’s a folder with my name on it.
I open the folder, and I think I’m going to be sick. I find pictures of my funeral and my grieving family. I have to stifle the soul-searing sob that creeps to my lips. Wrapping my middle with my arms, I rock in my seat.
“Dem, you okay?” Con asks softly.
I nod jerkily as I swipe at my tears with the back of one hand. I move to the other documents in the file, and my confusion and anger only grows. These photos and the documents are from two years ago.
It says I was killed in the line of duty. My chest is so tight, I’m barely breathing. I always feared my family thought I was dead. Now I have proof.
However, what rips me to shreds is the next document that states that Eric Myerson was also murdered. His case is listed as unsolved, the same as mine. I cover my mouth with my hand and release the sob I’ve been trapping in.
“Should I call Uncle Kevin?”
“No,” I say and shake my head.
I drag my hand under my nose and continue to look through the documents in the folder with my name on it. It’s in here for a reason. I know Cal is leading me to something. I have this feeling in my bones.
I concentrate on each file I open, looking for the string to pull. Most of these files are confidential. I have no idea how Cal was able to get his hands on them.
I know when I find it—the one thing Cal wanted me to see—and my breath whooshes through my lips. I’m trembling as I read the page over and over.
“What is it?”
I shake my head in confusion and disbelief. “It has here that Vivian Demarco was my handler. It also has me on some bogus case when I supposedly was killed in the line of duty. None of this is adding up,” I say more to myself.
“Do you know that Vivian lady? Have you ever worked with her?”
I turn to Con. “She’s my godsister.” I frown as that old pain returns. “She disappeared before I took this assignment. She’s the reason I took this case.”
I think it’s time I reach out to the people I trust the most in this world. The same ones I’ve been thinking it’s too dangerous to contact. This is starting to feel too personal. Something is wrong, very wrong.
Chapter 33
Demaris
Kevin
“Are you sure?” I grumble into the phone.
“Aye, seventh floor. That’s the room,” Shane replies.
“Thanks.”
I end the call and place my phone in my back pocket. With my eyes narrowed at the building standing across the lot from me, I frown as if something bitter sits in my mouth. I should be smiling.
This day didn’t go as wrong as it could have. Alicia is safe. My brother has found out that he’s going to be a father. Finally Ma will get those grands she’s been harassing him for.
However, at the moment, a frown mars my face because when I arrived at my parents’ home, my woman wasn’t there. I sit here against the hood of my car as I stare at the hotel she’s inside of, feeling like I have lead in my boots. The wind has picked up, blowing my hair around my face. Still my hands remain in my pockets, clenched in tight fists.
I don’t know what she’s doing here, only that she told Conroy that she needed to handle some business. He said something on the computer seemed to upset her, and she told him she needed to go.
“What are you doing now, love?” I mumble into the night.
My brother was able to track her car and that led me here. I’ve told myself to leave. Turn around, get in my car, and let her live her life. She’s found what she was looking for.
However, it’s my heart that makes me get up and start for the front of the hotel. Something tells me the woman in there needs me, and no matter how much I want to fight it, I need her. That is a fact I can’t deny or run from.
“Excuse me,” a guy says as he runs right into me, bumping my shoulder.
He doesn’t stop long enough for me to accept his apology as he rushes toward the parking lot. I grunt and keep going. That is, until a loud roar of pain comes from behind me. I turn to find the guy that bumped me crouched in the middle of the parking lot.
He looks like he’s in anguish as he wraps his arms around his middle. When he releases another cry, it’s more like a sob of agony. He claws at his head as his body trembles.
I go to ask him if he’s okay, but he stands and storms toward a black car and jumps inside, speeding out of the lot. I watch after him for a few beats before I turn and head inside. I don’t stop at the counter. Instead, I head right for the elevator.
As I’m walking, two tall guys head toward me. I slow my stride as one of them catches my attention. He looks like a male version of Dem. Only taller and a shade or two lighter. His dark brown hair has the same wave pattern as it’s pulled back into a low ponytail.
I look to the one with him and notice traits of Dem in his face as well. His hair is not as dark as the one next to him. His reddish brown waves are cut low and pop against his brown skin. His eyes—although red-rimmed—are the same amber-whiskey color as Dem’s.
“Should we go after Jo-jo?” the one with waves says in a hushed tone, but I still hear him as I approach the two.
“No, I think he’s gone, anyway. We’ll catch up to him. Hell, I think we all need a minute to breathe, Diego. Jo-jo especially.”
“He looked like he was going to be sick. I don’t blame him. I feel like we were talking to a ghost. I can’t believe this shit,” Diego says with a lost look on his face. “Why are we leaving? We should go back up there and make her come home.”
“She needs our help.”
“God, Emil, what are the chances she would call us when we’re all here? Bro, I almost didn’t come down. I don’t think we should leave.” The one named Diego goes to turn back for the elevators.
Emil—I’m assuming—places a hand on the other’s shoulder to stop him. “Listen, our baby sister needs us. We have to keep level heads. As level as we can in this situation. It’s best if we go about our usual routines until we answer some questions and figure out what the hell happened.”
Diego sighs and turns back to start out of the hotel again. “This still doesn’t feel right.”
Emil nods. “But at the moment, I don’t think exposing her will be the best thing to do. She’s a smart girl. She survived this long because she’s brilliant and strong,” he says with mixed emotions in his voice.
“She’s been alive all this time. Papi is going to lose it.”
“First, let’s get to the bottom of this. Then we can get Papi and Mommy to come home. Or we take her to them. A trip to PR is probably what she’ll need after all of this.”
I clench my fist at my sides with his words. The reality of Dem’s other existence roars to life and waves in my face. If I didn’t understand her reluctance before, it’s clear to me now.
A cloud covers both of their faces as they head toward the exit of the lobby. In that moment, Emil locks eyes with me. He’s silent as the three of us cross paths.
I would know they are both in law enforcement even if I didn’t see the gun and badge on Emil’s hip. It seems Dem comes from a family of public servants. Which makes me question how she ended up in this situation. There are still dots I need to connect, and I plan to do so tonight.
I get to the elevator and ride up to the seventh floor with an elderly couple. I can’t help grinning at their banter. When he reaches to tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead, my heart squeezes.
Those are the simple things I want to be able to do with Dem in our future. Talk about our grands and our children and make her flush with little gestures. The lift chimes on the seventh floor, bringing me from my vision of a future I’m not sure I’ll ever see.
I push off the wall I’ve been propped against and exit. “He reminds me
so much of you when you were his age,” I hear the woman say as I walk off.
“I don’t remember being that strapping.”
“Yes, you were. I remember it well,” she says lovingly.
I smile as I head for the room Dem should be in. When I stop in front of it, I place an arm over my head on the doorframe and lean my forehead against the door as if I can feel her through it. Lifting my other hand, I tap against the barrier.
It only takes a few seconds for the door to open. She takes my breath away from the moment I see her tear-stained face. Like a broken doll that needs healing.
Our eyes connect, and that’s all it takes. Her need for me blazes behind all of the pain. I cup her neck in one hand and push my way into the room. She moves with me, taking a few steps back before I reach for her with my free arm and lift her onto my waist.
“Name,” I command against her lips.
It’s all I have to say. She understands what I want and need. She runs her hands through the back of my hair as she presses her nose to mine.
“Demaris Mercado, but my family calls me Dem,” she breathes softly.
I nod and nip at her chin. “Tonight, Demaris may be the name I call, but I’m not making love to a word. When I’m done, you’ll know I’ve fallen in love with the woman, not the name. Everything else we’ll get to after I’m done proving my point.”
She responds with a bob of her head. I squeeze the hand I have around her neck and lust fills her eyes. I understand this woman so completely. She’s one step closer to her real life. A life she doesn’t think I can be a part of because she’s been in so deep and has lost pieces of herself. I’ve comprehended this for longer than she knows.
As a former detective, I understand it more than most. There is who you are and who you become while doing your job. The longer you are that other person, the more you disconnect with the truth. However, I’ve fallen for the core of her. I want her no matter what persona she’s offering.
As many questions as I have, as many holes as I want her to fill in—in this moment, none of that matters. It’s her and me. My love doesn’t end with whatever she’s learned from that laptop.
I take her lips and kiss her deeply. I don’t have time to figure this place out, so I turn and press her back to the nearest wall. She already has my T-shirt halfway up my torso.
Reaching for the hem, I tug it the rest of the way off. A shiver runs through me as she drags her small hands up my sides. Biting my lip, I reach for her open button-down shirt and push it from her shoulders.
In impatience, I pull her tank top from her high-waisted jeans and tear it down the middle. A small gasp leaves her lips as fabric gives beneath my strength. Pushing the ruined shirt from her shoulders, I let it fall to the floor. I seal our mouths again and savor the flavor of her and her tears.
She whimpers into my mouth as I work the buttons of her jeans. I wasn’t this nervous the first time I was with a girl in my teens. My hands are trembling, and my thoughts have turned into a mosh pit of anxiety.
However, my determination kicks in. If I can’t find the words after all is said and done, she will at least have felt me and every single emotion I have for her. That’s what I can guarantee.
* * *
Danita
I need this. I need Kevin to erase the last two hours of my life. My brothers yelled, they cried, they freaked the hell out. I can’t blame them.
However, the hurt in their faces will forever haunt me. That’s why I need Kevin. I know he can make me forget it all.
“Kevin,” I whimper when he starts to kiss his way down my neck.
I’m used to his aggression during sex, but this is something different. Once again, he’s showing me another side of himself. It’s a mix of tenderness and almost as if he’s subjecting me to a slow seduction.
Each touch, every kiss feels like he’s luring me deeper into his web. If touch could speak, I truly believe Kevin has created a language for us. A speech that’s slowly soothing my hurts and intriguing my senses to crave more.
I place my hand on his cheek as he moves down to my collarbone. He turns his head slightly and his gaze links with mine. Again, unspoken words pass between us.
He continues his descent until he gets to my lace-covered nipple. I don’t realize how hard I’m breathing until he pauses, only allowing his breath to fan the hardened peak. I buck my hips against him as he keeps me pinned to the wall at my back.
“Patience. That’s what it’s taken to have you and that’s what it’ll take to keep you,” he murmurs against the tight bud. The slight brush of his lips is enough to make my core clench and weep with desire and all-consuming need.
Instead of taking my nipple into his mouth, he straightens and hooks his hands into my jeans. Torturously slow, he peels them off. I release my legs from his hips and plant my feet on the floor as he gets the pants from my limbs.
I can’t help but run my hand through his fiery locks as he bends his head to kiss my thigh. Could this be the last time I feel him, look at him, hear him this way? I should walk away and let him live his life.
I thought this was out of control when Eric disappeared. Now that I know he’s dead and someone has been trying to erase me completely from this earth, I know it’s time to let Kevin go.
“Demaris,” he says as he kisses his way to my inner thigh. He flicks out his tongue against my skin and lifts his eyes to mine. “I’m not giving up on you. I’m not allowing you to walk out of my life so easily. You can stop thinking about it because it’s not happening.”
I go to open my mouth to challenge him, but he tosses my leg over his shoulder and buries this face at the apex of my thighs. All coherent speech is lost to my cries of pleasure. Kevin eats my pussy like he owns it.
Honestly, he does. I can’t see myself with anyone else but him. Leaving wouldn’t mean I’d be finding someone new. It would mean I’d be giving up on love and intimacy because I don’t want it from anyone else. He has ruined me for life, and in this very moment, I’m not complaining one bit.
I rock my hips against his face, causing him to growl into my center. He tosses my other leg over his shoulder and lifts me higher up the wall. I drop my head back and roll it from side to side.
I’ve never felt this much pleasure in my life, and Kevin has never disappointed in the past. This is undeniably next level. He’s a man with a mission.
“Kevin, I can’t take any more,” I pant as he works his way through my third orgasm.
Time and space have ceased to make any sense. My legs are trembling as I squeeze them against his ears. Yet he doesn’t let up. My body is already tightening again, but he powers through, taking me right to the brink before he backs off, leaving me gasping for release.
“Babe,” I groan. “I was almost there.”
He kisses me hard on the lips, then softly on the forehead. The sound of his belt jiggling greets my ears as he lowers me to his waist, coaxing my legs around him. I have no idea where he pulls the condom from or how he gets it on so quickly. I cup his face with one hand and push the other into the side of his hair.
“I love you, Demaris,” he says as he thrusts into me hard.
My back hits the wall and I tighten my legs around him, crossing my ankles. My teeth chatter as he continues with the punishing pace. Yet his hands caress my skin tenderly as if I’m the most precious thing in the world to him.
“I love you too.”
My tears spill over. This time, they are because I’m so confused. I do love him and I want to see where things could go with us in the long run, but I still don’t know if that’s possible. Seeing my family has driven that fact home.
My brothers were ready to take me and run. I would have been in PR before the night is over if I didn’t put a stop to the plan Jo-jo started to spit out. I couldn’t leave, not after Conroy’s request and not after sitting in this
hotel room waiting for my brothers to arrive. All I could think about was Kevin.
I cling to his back as if I can cling to him forever. I want to melt into him and become one with his soul. The way he looks into my eyes and breathes against my lips as if stealing my essence from me, leaves me entranced in a world that is all Kevin.
Each time he enters me, it’s like he’s filling me up with his love. I close the distance between our lips, but he commands the kiss once we make the connection. Our tongues dance and lock together. It’s to the point I don’t know where I stop and he begins, but I don’t want to figure that out because I never want him to let go.
I savor the bite of pain that comes from his deep thrusts. They are a reminder that this is all real. This can be a reality if I allow it. Not everything in the last five years has been contrived and fleeting.
Breaking the kiss, he places his lips to my temple and says, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“What?”
“You already know I own this pussy, but tonight I’m taking your voice, your heart, and your soul. Hang tight, love. I’m about to ruin ya.”
He pulls me from the wall and turns to find the bedroom. It’s not long before my back hits the cool sheets. Still inside me, his eyes riveted to mine, he pushes my thighs back and lifts to his knees.
When he starts to thrust in a downward motion, I dig my nails into his forearms and release a cry that leaves my throat raw. It’s right then that I know he’s going to make good on his words. This is going to be one of those nights, but it’s exactly what my heart and mind need. Time to get lost and forget. The only thing on my mind for the next few hours becomes Kevin Blackhart, the man that has stolen my heart right from under my nose.
* * *
Kevin
“Talk to me,” I mumble into her hair as I trace her hip with my fingertips.
She shifts the thigh she has thrown over my stomach, but I reach to trap it in place. I want to feel the weight of her body on mine. It’s keeping me sane.