Sighing, he reaches over and takes my hand. "I'm sorry." He indicates and pulls over."I've found out something and it's something that can wreck Matthew's life and I don't know whether or not to tell him or if I should wait until I have proof?"
Oh God, what has the bitch done now? "What is it?" He leans over and opens the glove compartment, pulling out a big brown envelope, he passes it to me. Frowning, I open it. What the hell is in here? It's not heavy; it feels as though there's nothing but papers in here. As soon as I pull the contents out I close my eyes. "Fuck, I need bleach."
James starts to laugh. “Yeah, that's what I thought too."
"Why are you showing me pictures of your ex-wife having sex with what looks like someone old enough to be her dad?" I go to shove the pictures back into the envelope, not wanting to look at it anymore.
"Look at the date." I do as he says and it's dated over a year and a half ago. "That was around the time she got pregnant."
"Oh..." Poor Matthew, this is going to kill him. He loves Amelia.
"Yeah, I've got Miles finding out who the guy is too. So, do I tell him or not?" This is really eating at him.
"How long have you known?"
He starts to squirm, which means yes, he's known for a while. "I hired Miles four days after she disappeared. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her and something about her disappearance doesn't make sense. Miles started digging and within twenty-four hours he found those."
I take a few breaths so I don't actually scream at him. He’s waited almost a month to tell me? "Why didn't you tell me you'd hired him? James, I hate secrets. I thought you understood that?" I'm hurt and upset. I thought the lying had stopped.
"Beautiful." He realises he's fucked up.
"Just drive, I'm going to be late." I tuck the photos back into the envelope and shove it into the glove compartment. Turning my head to look out the window, not wanting him to see me crying.
He pulls off and I’m dreading this already, I don’t want to listen to his bullshit. “I never intended to lie. I hired him, not thinking he'd find anything or if he found anything it would be her. I'm sorry, beautiful; I never meant to hurt you."
"But you did! Why didn't you just be honest from the start?"
"I don't know. I knew how much you were worried about the baby and I know how much talking about Val upsets you. We've had so much going on; I didn't want to add to that." I understand what he's saying but it's still a lie.
"What I really don't get is why you got involved? She's not your wife anymore." I'm getting agitated, my temper is rising and I know that if this turns into an argument things may be said that aren't meant.
"I know she's not but she's my niece’s mum, what am I meant to do?" He pulls up outside Midnight Lovers office and I can see Pen standing outside waiting for me. I must be late. "Beautiful, talk to me. What am I meant to do?"
"Let Matthew sort it out. You’re worried about everyone else except us." I wipe away the tears. “I'm not saying you shouldn't have done it. Actually I am, but what I mean is, Matthew is the one that should be finding her, not you. The fact you don't see that, James..." I shake my head. "I've got to go."
"Stef!" But it's too late, I've opened the car door and gotten out. I can't talk to him when I'm this mad, this upset. I need to cool down and think. Maybe I'm overreacting and time will make me see that if I am.
Walking into Midnight Lovers I don't even turn around to see if James has left. Instead I walk straight towards Pen who's staring at me like she's ready to go twelve rounds with Anthony Joshua. "What's he done now?"
"Nothing, it doesn't matter. You wanted to see me?" I've managed to pull myself together and stop the tears from falling.
She narrows her eyes but doesn't say anything. “Follow me."
I follow her into her office, it's black and purple, and I love it in here. Even though it's dark, it's comfortable and homey. I should paint my bedroom this colour, it'll be something different. I hear clicking and look over at Pen who's clicking her fingers. “Huh?" I ask, wondering why she's acting weird.
"I've been trying to get your attention. Sit down; you look like you could be blown over with a strong breeze." I do as she says and sit on her couch. “What's going on with you?"
"Hormones." It's a lie but it'll hopefully get her off this line of questioning. “What did you want to see me about?"
"Natalie."
I'm confused. “What about her, is she okay?”
She nods. “For now she is but since she's found out you're leaving she's closed up. Whatever you did, worked. Now she won't talk at all."
"I'll talk to her, I'll find out what's going on." I'm worried about her now. I should have known she'd gone quiet; I just hadn't seen her in a while.
"Also, I have something for you." She places a bag from Marie-Chantal in front of me. James and I looked at some clothes from there. They had some lovely bits but we hadn't started buying any clothes yet.
"Pen..." God, I'm about to start crying again. “You really didn't have to."
She looks at me and shakes her head. “I know I didn't have to, I wanted to."
"Thank you!" I'm dying to see what it is but I won't. Pen knows I won't. I don't like opening things in front of people as I can't keep my face straight; if I hate something you'll know I do.
"You're welcome. As honorary aunt, I'll be making sure the little one gets spoilt." She gives me a look that dares me to argue with her. "Excellent, now I have a date."
"How are things going with Grant? Is he misbehaving?” It's out of my mouth before I can even stop myself.
She gives me her wicked smile. “Now, Stefanie, that’s none of your business.” She's being rather posh about it. “Anything else you'd like to know?”
I know she's being sarcastic and it's a rhetorical question but there is something I want to know. “So you like to order him around to do stuff? You're the female Christian Grey?”
“No. Stefanie, I'm not the female version of him. Now I must dash, Natalie’s upstairs getting ready.” End of conversation. I may have pissed her off with the Christian remark.
“Okay, Pen, I'll see you soon, have fun tonight.” I blow her a kiss as I make my way out of her office.
“Stefanie…” she calls and I turn back. She's holding out the bag she bought. “You forgot something.” She hands it to me. “I hope you can find out what's going on with Natalie. I hate that she's back to her old ways.” She kisses my cheek and leaves; my eyes follow her out of the building and into the street where Grant is waiting for her. She pulls on his necklace as she kisses him on the cheek. From here they both look so in love. I wonder if Pen knows she loves him?
Making my way upstairs I can hear music playing. Opening Nat’s door, I can hear it's the new song by Jennifer Lopez, DJ Khaled, and Cardi B. “Dinero.” I've been obsessed with this song since I've heard it and I'm glad that I'm not the only one that likes it. James prefers pop to R&B and hip hop.
I let out a low whistle as I take in her appearance, she's dressed unlike I've seen her before. Her make-up is minimal; she's in an A-line dress that makes her look very much the eighteen-year-old she is. She looks beautiful. “You look gorgeous. Where are you off to tonight?”
Her cheeks flame. “A new client, Richard something, I can't remember. He needs a date to an engagement party.”
“Well, you look beautiful. So, want to tell me what's going on?” She doesn't look at me instead she focuses her attention on clasping her bracelet. I walk over to the chair and sit down; I'm not leaving until she talks.
“Stef, why are men dickheads?”
I laugh. “If I knew that answer I'd be set for life. What's going on?”
Her eyes glass over. “Richie. He broke up with your friend and I bumped into him. He's an arsehole.”
“What did he do?” I know Jess said he's sweet but I've never seen Nat so upset before; she's pulling in breaths trying not to cry. “Nat?”
“We were talking and I asked him why
he fucked off you know?” I nod, as I remember she told me they slept together and Richie had disappeared afterward.
“He said he woke up and looked at me. He realised I was a prostitute and left.” She sounds devastated. “I think it was better not knowing. I'm so stupid.”
“No, babe, you're not stupid and you never were. Is that why you've been quiet?” She shakes her head. There's more? “Talk to me,” I beg her, not wanting her to be alone.
“My stepdad found me.” Horror and fear are showcased on her face but it's her haunted eyes that make my heart hurt. “I’m tired of running; I'm tired of being scared.”
I'm up out of my chair and folding her into my arms. “Nat, it’s okay to be afraid. No more running! He's not going to hurt you anymore. Pen and I, we’re your family and we’re not going to let him get to you.”
“Thank you.” Her hands wrap around me as her shoulders begin to shake. I don't say anything; just hold her as long as she needs me to.
“Shit, I'm going to be late.” She pulls out of my arms and rushes to the mirror where she starts to fix her make-up. “Fuckity, fuck, fuck.”
“Stop stressing, it's not a big fix.” Her body deflates. “You'll have it done within a few minutes.”
“Thanks, Stef, for everything.” She makes it sound as if I'm moving halfway across the world.
“Sorry, babe, you're not getting rid of me, you’re stuck with me!”
I get her to laugh which is exactly what I wanted. “Come on, I'll leave with you. I've got to meet Jess at Pleasure Palace.” Jess is meeting me and Katy there. Jess is sorting everything out for the hen, so no doubt she’s been in Saff’s house most of the day.
“My cab’s outside, hop in and we'll drop you off. I'm going to Piccadilly Circus.” She pulls keys out of her handbag as we walk down the stairs. Even the shoes she's wearing are not her usual—they're flats, and she never wears flat shoes ever.
“Nat, what's with the shoes?” I frown, she looks weird.
“Oh, I've got a blister so until I'm outside the party I'm wearing these and then I'll change.” Phew, okay, so she hasn't lost her mind.
She's right, the cab’s waiting for us. “Before we get in the cab I need you to know that even though I won't be working here anymore I'll still be here for you, Nat. You need me, call and I'll be there.”
“Thanks, Stef, same here.” We rush to the cab as it begins to lash, the rain coming down hard on the both of us. "Shit, my make-up," she screeches as she climbs into the car.
It doesn't take us long to get to Leicester Square. Once we're out of the cab she pulls me into a hug. “Be safe, Stef, and if he hurts you again, I'll carve him up like a turkey!"
I laugh. She means it too. "Thanks, Nat, try and forget about Richie."
"I'm trying, it's hard to forget him when he's been the only man interested in me not because I'll sleep with them for money." Waving her hand in the air. “Forget about him. Have a good night, Stef, I'll see you soon."
"Bye, Nat, be good," I warn her as she turns. As I begin to walk away all I can hear is her laughter.
"I like being naughty."
I’m smiling all the way to meet Jess.
Chapter Seventeen
Walking into Saffron and Damien's house, I'm very much reminded of the house in the Cotswolds that James bought. It's very extravagant and screams money but at the same time it feels homey and Saff is happy here, that's the main thing. When I first met Saff she was timid and a shadow of who she is now. She'd jump at the smallest things, fear always present. I don't know what happened to her but Natalie reminds me so much of her. Both of them have an inner strength that makes them so beautiful. Even though they've been hurt, they still let people in, let people love them and in return love them back fiercely.
"God, this place is posh," Katy says looking around, she's got a drink in her hand and by the smell of it, it's prosecco.
"Hmm." I'm not sure if I like her. Who says something like that? "I think it suits Saff."
"Come on, girls, let’s get set up," Jess says staring at Katy. She looks worried and I'm thinking I may have misjudged her, maybe she's not that bad.
As I walk further into the room I see that Jess has done a lot today. Jess is Saff's maid of honour and has organised this hen do. There's a banner up that says Miss to Mrs. There are purple cupcakes that have the word MRS on them. Saff has a big smile on her face, one that is very rare to see. She's usually so guarded but tonight, she's happy.
"Thank you for coming, Stef." She hands me a robe that says Team Bride on it, like there was any doubt. "Mandy will be here soon." She sounds almost giddy.
"Mandy's the beautician," Jess answers the question I was thinking. "She's giving us massages, manicures, pedicures, and whatever else we want."
I smile. "Oh my God, I need a massage." Wait. "Can I get one?" Do pregnant women get massages?
"Yes, you can. I asked Mandy before I booked the massages. She'll do a pregnancy one for you." I'm getting excited now. Jess has a glint in her eyes, she’s up to something. "And I'll have one too."
My mouth drops open. What the hell? "Jess," I whisper.
"Oh my God, Jess!" Saff screams and we both rush over to her and do a three-way hug.
"Congratulations, Jess," Katy calls out and we all look over at her, she's standing looking awkwardly at us.
"Get over here," I call and Jess and I open our arms up so that she can join the hug.
"How far along are you?" Saff asks as we pull away.
"I'm only a few weeks. I shouldn't even be telling anyone but I couldn't keep it a secret." She's grinning like a Cheshire cat; this is how I should have been when I found out I was pregnant. "Hunter will kill me if he finds out I've told all of you." She doesn't care, she's happy and I have no doubt Hunter is as well.
There's a knock at the door and Saffron rushes to open it. “Oh, Katy, can you grab the other bottle of prosecco?” I love this Saff, she's more assertive. Damien really brings out the best in her.
“I never meant to blurt it out like that; I was only supposed to tell you. You're not mad that I didn't tell you privately?” She's chewing on her lip, something she does when she's nervous.
“Of course, I'm not. God, Jess. I'm happy for you. Emme’s going to be made up when she finds out.” I pull her into a hug and squeeze her tight. “I’m so happy for you, Jess.”
“Thanks, chick. So how are things with you and James?” I try my hardest not to groan at her question. “That bad, huh?” Linking her arm through mine. “What’s happened?”
“He’s hired a PI to find Valerie. He doesn’t get that I’m upset. He hired him almost a month ago, Jess. I only found out this evening that he hired him a lot longer than he told me.” I hate lies, especially as my dad lied to me and my mum for my entire life and those lies were the reason my mum committed suicide. Lying to me is the worst thing you can do.
“What? Why is he doing it and not his brother?” Her eyes narrow. “What does he get out of it?”
“I don’t know. I’m tired, Jess. I’m tired of her being in our relationship when she has no need to be.” I feel the tears threaten yet again but I won’t let them fall. He’s had enough tears from me to last me a lifetime. “I’m tired.”
Her eyes widen. “The best thing you can do, Stef, is find out what’s happening. Why he’s being an arsehole and why he’s keeping things from you.”
“Yeah, but not tonight. I can’t do it yet.”
She pulls me into a hug and I cling to her as though she’s my lifeline. “You’re going to be okay, chick, I’ll make sure of it.” We pull apart and before I can say anything we’re summoned.
“Jess, Stef, come and meet Mandy,” Saff calls and nods towards the front door.
“Hi, ladies, I’ve been looking forward to this all day,” Mandy tells us, her smile is infectious. “You must be the mum-to-be.” She walks over to me with her hand held out. Taking it, we shake. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“Let’s get you all sorted. Jessica, do you have my equipment?” She starts setting up and I begin to feel awkward standing beside Katy. I don’t know her and she seems closed off. Usually, I’d be outgoing and start a conversation but Katy has “do not approach” written all over her.
“Right, I’ll give the mum-to-be her massage first and the rest can be soaking your feet and drinking.” Mandy’s so cheerful and thankfully a smile forms on Katy’s face making her look more approachable.
“Right, so who wants to go first?” Saff starts giggling, I’m pretty sure she’s pissed but she’s a happy drunk.
Mandy’s not long left. She’s given us all manicures, pedicures, and Saff, Jess, and me massages. We’re all in a good mood and Mandy’s given us all her card if we want to see her again. I may switch beauticians as Mandy is funny, sweet, and professional.
“Ooh, I’ll grab drinks first.” Katy’s drunk too, she’s been downing prosecco as though it’s water. She rushes to the kitchen, rummaging through cupboards. “Um, where is it?”
“Is there none on the wine rack?” Saff calls back to her and giggles.
“Nope. Do you have anything else?” Katy’s shouting, her head popping up from the bottom cupboards, her lips pouting. Jesus, these two have drunk three bottles between them?
“Yeah, I’ll grab the stash Damien has.” Again, with the giggling which starts Katy off. The two of them start acting as though they’re ninjas and begin crouching as they walk through the house.
“Do you think we should tell them that we’re the only ones here?” I laugh. They’re funny when they’re drunk and they’ve both kind of latched on to each other; they’ll be best of friends in no time.
“No, this is too fun. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Saff so relaxed.” Taking out her phone Jess starts recording them as they rush back into the sitting room.
“Shhh, do you think they saw?” Katy tries to be quiet but she’s actually shouting.
“No, we’re good. We got the drinks though,” Saff yells back. “Just don’t tell Dami.” She sighs when she says his name. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before.”
The Scandals of Life Page 15