by Nino Cipri
[Footsteps.]
Nita: Like a voicemail for ghosts.
Maddie: Not just ghosts.
Nita: Like 4’33” for the spirit world.
Maddie: Like what?
[A door closes.]
Nita: [fainter] What? Have you never heard of— [inaudible]
[1:25:21 of ambient silence.]
[A bird calls, a harsh whistle. So loud that it might be inside the room.]
[43:57 of static.]
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 11.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
[Static.]
Maddie: Hi, this is Nita Rosen, coming to you live from the bedroom where I just fucked my girlfriend before trying to unconvincingly tell her that—
Nita: Oh my God, would you—
Maddie: That! I like, totally don’t want to go to her mom’s house for Christmas.
Nita: I do not sound like that.
Maddie: Despite the fact that it gives me the perfect opportunity to dig up all kinds of dirt about her, which is the only reason I’ve stayed with this freak show this long. Stay tuned. This is NPR.
Nita: Are you done?
Maddie: Oh, fuck no. Let me get my Terry Gross voice on. So why the sudden flip-flop, Nita? Were you getting too close to your subject? Sorry, your outlier? Sudden crisis of conscience, or did you just get bored and want—
Nita: Can you please turn it off?
Maddie: Oh, no. I want this on the record.
Nita: I found out who Emily is.
[9 seconds of silence. No ambient noise at all.]
[Don’t say her name.]
Maddie: [Whispering.] Don’t say her name.
[End of recording.]
***
Entry 11.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
Nita: One teen missing, another in critical condition after car crash in [garbled]. Underage drinking suspected as factor. The totaled car was found off Old Coach Highway in—
[4 seconds of static.]
Nita: —damage to the front and side of the car. Magdalena Lanuza, eighteen, was found in the car, several hours after the crash. The car fell from Old Coach Highway into a gully, thirty feet below the road. Lanuza claims she was accompanied by eighteen-year-old Emily Long-ham, who is still missing. In a statement, Emily Longham’s mother, Abigail, said she believes her daughter is still out there. I’d know it if she were truly gone, she told reporters. The sheriff’s office has organized a search party. Those interested in volunteering are encouraged to call the number listed below. When asked if they were looking for—
[2 seconds of static; harsh, unyielding, angry.]
Nita: —or a body, the sheriff’s department gave no comment.
[11 seconds of ambient silence and static. She’s weighing the past four months with what she knows now. She’s thinking of long, ropey scars that rake across Maddie’s spine.]
Nita: And that’s it. No follow-up, as far as I can see. One girl nearly dies and another disappears, you’d assume that a small-town paper would be brooding on this shit for weeks. But there’s nothing else online at all. No Facebook pictures, no memorials of this girl. I can’t even find her parents. So here’s the thing: this is really obviously a trauma in Maddie’s past, and it looks so much more interesting than it did when I first saw those scars. And I want to find out more and I fucking hate that I do. I hate myself for looking at Maddie and seeing a...
[An outlier.]
Nita: I don’t know what to do besides walk away from it. From all of it. She deserves someone who’s not a...flaky weirdo artist with a voice diary. I...
[Don’t.]
Nita: I don’t know.
[Don’t make her go alone.]
Nita: I don’t know what to do.
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 12.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
Voice: You have reached seven seven three—
[Garbled.]
Voice: Please leave your message after the tone.
[3 seconds of silence. Nita—]
[Static.]
Nita: Hey, it’s me. I’m—I don’t like how we ended things last night. I want to...I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I’m sorry. Just give me a call.
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 13.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
Voice: You have reached seven seven three—
[Garbled.]
Voice: Please leave your message after the tone.
Nita: Yeah actually, I do know what I want. I want you. I don’t know what that means in the context of you and this thing about your home and—
[Don’t say her name.]
Nita: —and what happened to you. And I don’t know what you want, or why it’s suddenly really fucking important for you to go to the creepy town that you’ve been avoiding for five years, and for me to go with you, but like. Okay. I don’t know. I wish you would have picked up the phone so I could actually say this to you and not your—
Voice: If you would like to hear your message, please press—
Nita: God DAMN it.
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 14.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
Voice: December. Second. Two thousand thirteen. Voicemail from phone number seven seven three—
[Garbled.]
Maddie: Hey. It’s me. I...
[Static.]
[4 seconds of silence.]
Maddie: Sorry, there’s something weird going on with this connection. So, like, here’s the point. You’re still invited for Christmas. If you want to go. I want you with me. I don’t want to be alone when— [Static. Angry, electric buzzing. A high, sweet whistle.]
Maddie: —pick up. If you call me, I’ll pick up.
[...]
[End of recorded material.]
[Sorry.]
***
Entry 15.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
[Car engine.]
Nita: Wow, it really is...
Maddie: Creepy? Dark?
Nita: Isolated. I was gonna say isolated, but yeah, those other things too. You really did grow up in the sticks. Jesus, these roads are terrifying.
Maddie: It’s not the roads you have to worry about.
[...]
Nita: What the hell did you just say?
Maddie: I said you don’t have to worry about the roads.
Nita: That’s...that’s not—
Maddie: Listen to me, okay? You’ll be safe here. You’re a stranger here and that’s the best thing you can be.
Nita: What does that even mean? I thought this was just a family visit!
Maddie: You know it’s more than that. What you need to know now— [Coughs.]
[Coughing continues.]
Maddie: [Choking.] Just be prepared okay? I...
Nita: Maddie, what’s wrong? Jesus, Maddie—
[Gravel under the wheels, a clunk as the gear shifts into park. Maddie’s breath is labored, whistling high in her throat.]
Nita: What is this, what’s wrong? Are you having an asthma attack or something?
Maddie: [Hoarse.] It’s fine. I wish— [Coughs.]
[They are only half a mile from the road where Maddie’s car accident occurred.]
[They are a tiny beacon of light in dark, quiet hills.]
[They don’t feel the gaze of those who are watching.]
Nita: Should I drive? These roads are scary as fuck, but I can drive.
[A door opens. Birdsong and rain. Maddie’s breath smoothes out.]
Nita: Here, do you want some water?
[...]
Nita: We don’t have to stay at your mom’s house. We can go back to Lyndon, or even Anacortes. Fuck it, we can go back to Seattle if you—
Maddie: [Hoarse.] No. I’m all right. We’re here now, we might as w
ell...might as well finish the trip.
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 16.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
Nita: So. Here I am. Maddie’s mom, Evie, is super nice. Her house is really pretty, up on the side of a mountain. There’s a creek nearby. Lots of woods and moss, as promised. It’s seriously in the middle of nowhere, though. I’m not sure what I was imagining, but...I’d originally thought that I could do some detective work while I was here. This is so embarrassing, and it’s so obvious that I watch way too much TV. But I imagined myself, like, going into town and talking to the old dudes who’d be drinking coffee, and they’d be unfriendly and I’d charm them into telling me how—
[Sharp, squealing burst of static.]
Nita: What the fuck was that?
[...]
Nita: Weird. Anyway, Maddie was right, there’s not really a town here. There is a gas station, which is also the post office and the hardware store. And I guess it’s a movie store, too, since they had this bucket of DVDs you could rent for a few dollars each. Maddie said there’s a couple churches too, but they’re like, Children of the Corn meets Deliverance, you could not fucking pay me to step foot in one.
I didn’t even realize that we’d passed through the town until we hit a dirt road and it got even more woodsy.
[...]
Nita: Maddie—
[Nita starts to cough.]
[The sound of the wind. The sound of birds in the trees.]
[Time is running out.]
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 17.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
Nita: Okay, the timestamp is uh, 8:03. Morning of December 23rd. I’m uh, I’m interviewing Evie Lanuza, mother of Maddie. [Clears throat.] Though I’m...not sure why?
Evie: Well, my daughter told me about your project.
Nita: My project? Oh, sh—she did? Okay. Uh. What did she tell you exactly?
Evie: Just that you were interested in where she’d grown up, this little town, and you know. What happened to her.
Nita: [Laughs.] Yeah, that, uh. That’s basically it.
Evie: So what exactly do you want to know, Nita?
Nita: Well. Actually. Before we get started, I was wondering if you had any pictures of [Coughs.] Maddie when she was a kid. Which is probably weird, but I was just like, thinking that she must have been a really cute—
Evie: I don’t. I don’t keep pictures.
Nita: ...Oh. Is there, um, a reason for that?
Evie. Yes.
[...]
Evie: Did you want more coffee? You look a little...
Nita: Sure. That’d be good.
[4 seconds of ambient noise, persistent birdsong and rain, and the sound of coffee being poured into an old, chipped mug.]
Nita: Thanks. So—
Evie: My husband grew up here, and even though he managed to get away to Port Townsend, he always knew he’d come back, but he put it off as long as he could. This place has a way of sinking its hooks into you.
Nita: Yeah?
Evie: He resisted coming back for so long. It almost broke us up, to tell the truth. But he came around eventually.
Nita: Yeah. Uh. Can I just ask—
Evie: Go ahead.
Nita: Where is, uh, Mr. Lanuza?
Evie: He passed on. Not long after we moved back.
[...]
Nita: That’s...I’m sorry.
Evie: Oh, you don’t have to say that. But I think it’s what made Maddie [Coughs.]...I think that’s what really soured her on this town. And then the car accident with her friend. She left soon after, and I couldn’t blame her. But it’s like I said. This town gets its claws into you, and it doesn’t let go. I’m glad she’s back. I’m glad you’re here with her.
[...]
Nita: I’m going to see if— [Clears throat.] —if Maddie’s awake.
Evie: Take some coffee up to her. I always loved it when my special someone did that for me.
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 18.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
[Footsteps. Birdsong. Rain on a dirt road.]
Nita: Okay, so I’m like...seventy-five percent sure that I’m not lost. I’m pretty sure I’m still on the road that Maddie— [Coughs.]
Nita: Fucking allergies. Anyway, the road where she had her car accident. And she was super understanding when I told her that I wanted to see it, and agreed that it was better if I satisfied my stupidass curiosity by myself. Well, she didn’t say it was stupid, but in retrospect, it definitely was. ’Cause like, I can find my way around pretty much anywhere in Chicago, even when I’m high as fuck or drunk off my ass. But apparently I can’t find my way around anywhere that’s not on a grid. And of course, because it’s goddamn December, the sun is buried behind the clouds. So I don’t know if I’m headed in the right direction. And there’s something hugely creepy about being surrounded by trees. I’m never leaving the city again. No wonder— [Clears throat.] —no wonder Maddie never comes back here. This is what I get for being such a—
[12 seconds of silence.]
[You’re looking for something.]
Nita: [Whispering] What the fuck—
[Maybe you found it.]
[Car engine. Tires on wet pavement.]
Male Voice: Hey, you want a ride?
Nita: Uh. I think I got turned around. Do you know how to get to—
[Static.]
Male Voice: I do. But are you sure that’s where you want to go? That’s a lonely little spot.
Nita: I think. Yeah. I mean, I just want to see it. A friend of mine, she was in an accident there—
Male Voice: I don’t need to know your business, miss. I’ll drop you off there and let you find your own way back.
Nita: ...Thanks.
[...]
[Radio turns on; country music. Signal fades in and out of static.]
Nita: Did you know either of the girls that were in the accident?
Male Voice: I didn’t, no.
Nita: What about, uh, a Mr. Lanuza? He died, like, eight or nine years ago. I don’t know his first name—
Male Voice: Listen, miss. You should keep their names out of your mouth, okay? You’re a stranger here. Keep it that way.
[...]
Nita: [Faintly.] All right. Never mind.
Male Voice: That’s it, over there. Careful on the shoulder, though. It’s slippery from all the rain, and the guardrail’s on its last legs.
[Door opens.]
Nita: Thanks.
Male Voice: Take care. And don’t stay out here too long. It gets dark early.
Nita: Thanks, I got it.
[Door closes.]
[Static increases. Sounds like water, like wings, like song, like—]
Nita: —weird as it could have—
[Static.]
Nita: —so far to fall—
[Static.]
Nita: —waiting in the dark for—
[Static.]
[You should go.]
Nita: —should get going. It’s—
[It’s getting dark.]
Nita: Maddie’s— [Coughs.] And it’s getting dark.
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 19.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
[Voices, just on the edge of hearing. Creaking footsteps. The volume turns up, and the voices become audible.]
Evie: I like her.
Maddie: I like her too.
Evie: I’m glad you found someone who’s...someone good. Strange but good.
[...]
Evie: Aren’t you glad?
[...]
Evie: Do you regret bringing her here, sweetie?
Maddie: I wish we hadn’t come at all.
Evie: Don’t say that, Ma— [Coughs.]
Maddie: Mom, I’m—
Evie: I know you wish you co
uld have stayed longer. I tried to—I tried to help. I thought you’d have longer. It’s almost over, though.
Maddie: She doesn’t know about— [Coughs.] About—
[Coughing intensifies.]
Evie: Sweetheart, shhh. You don’t—
[Coughing intensifies and turns into sounds of choking.]
Nita: Oh my God—
[Footsteps.]
Nita: What’s wrong with her?
Evie: She’s fine, she’s fine, give her some room to breathe—
Nita: Baby, it’s—
Evie: I said to give her room. It’ll pass in a minute, as soon as she— [Choking; retching.]
Evie: Sweetheart, listen to me. You need to calm down. Clear your mind. There’s mud in your mind, and you need to let the river wash it clean, okay? Let the water in and let it carry that mud away, out of your mind, out of your lungs. Stop fighting it. Let it in. The water goes in, and the mud goes out. In. Out. In. Ou—
[Vomiting.]
Evie: There you go.
[Maddie’s breathing has eased.]
[Nita is crying.]
Nita: What the fuck is...
Evie: Nita, will you get some paper towels to wipe this up?
[...]
Evie: Nita.
Nita: Huh?
Evie: Get some paper towels from the kitchen.
Nita: Okay.
[Footsteps.]
Evie: There you go, honey. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. It’s almost over.
[End of recorded material.]
***
Entry 20.
[Beginning of recorded material.]
[44 seconds of ambient silence.]
Maddie: Are you asleep?
Nita: No.
Maddie: I’m sorry about what happened.
Nita: You don’t have to be. I’m just...God, that scared the hell out of me.
[...]
Nita: Where did that...it looked like feathers. And dirt. How did it get in your...
Maddie: Don’t. Please, don’t...
Nita: Don’t what? What the fuck is happening? This went from fine to completely fucked up in like, a day, and Maddie— [Coughing, so sudden and painful that it turns into gagging.]
Maddie: Shh, baby. Stop.
Nita: I can taste it. Dirt in my mouth. You said I’d be safe.
Maddie: You don’t have to be scared.
Nita: Like hell. You know what, fuck this. We should leave.
Maddie: You wanted this. You wanted to know. You kept asking—
Nita: Yeah, because I’m a fucking asshole who thought solving this weird-ass mystery would make good art. I changed my mind. Let’s leave.
Maddie: But my mom—