Just as I was locking the supply room I heard Tanner approach and felt his hand on my shoulder. He turned me gently and took my face into his hands. My body instantly remembered his touch and he began to stroke my face with his fingers. Oh my... it has been so long. Without a word his lips met mine in a kiss so gentle it felt like tickle yet it was also full of promise and dare I say love?
Tanner pulled his head back and whispered, “You have never left my heart Libby.”
All of my words stuck in my throat and I just stared into his eyes unable to formulate an intelligible response when my body had just been reminded why Tanner Dixon was the love of my life. I have it bad. It was fruitless to deny that I was born to be in his arms. The question was whether he was meant to be in mine.
Tanner held out the reins of my horse and that is the last memory I have of that ride because my mind replayed our conversation and of course that kiss over and over again trying out all the different ways that this scenario could end. Selfishly I chose to keep all of those scenarios positive and with Tanner and I riding off into the sunset. However, I was a realist and as soon as we parted for the night I filed the kiss away for what it was, a pleasant experience. I needed to protect my heart and this was the only way I knew how.
No matter how hard I try to understand and control the fate life has laid out for me, I always learn that I have no say in the matter. After the storm confession, apology and kiss, I felt the largest wall between us break down. We were working together much more smoothly and our conversations were not laced with an undercurrent of unresolved business. We were not speaking of an “us”, but we were not avoiding each other around every turn either. Progress?
Chapter Seven
One of the tasks I had been avoiding going over with Tanner was riding the fence line. It would require us to be alone for the entire day and sometimes it might even warrant an overnight trip if there were extensive damages that need to be repaired. Storm season was on its way though so I could not procrastinate on the task any longer. I just hoped that we could have a quick ride and be back before dark.
I had even begun to feel comfortable enough with Tanner’s knowledge of how the ranch worked to suggest he switch his focus to the financial side of things. You would have thought that I found a solution to world peace the way his face lit up and the extra pep he began having in his step. It was obvious that although Tanner loved working the ranch, he loved crunching numbers even more.
Of course he had been a student of the ranch and now I was to be a student of the finances. He was a patient teacher but it was obvious he had a wealth of knowledge that not only would I never learn, I never wanted to learn. He taught me the balance sheet, invoicing and budget projection. I want to claw my eyes out. All of the more complicated procedures he thought would be better in written form for use in an emergency. I could not have agreed more.
Watching him work on spreadsheets and invoices it started to connect in my brain that this was what he had been learning in college that had got him so excited and pulled him away from the ranch, and from me. Seeing his eyes light up and sparkle I began to realize that whatever happened with Tanner while he was gone was what was making him the man he was today. And that man was one that I could easily find myself staying with forever. Forever? How about we just concentrate on getting through the week.
One Saturday morning during January I heard a knock on my front door. Still dressed in my flannel pajamas I made my way to the door. To my surprise Tanner was on my doorstep holding two cups of steaming hot coffee. I do not know what I deserved to get this breakfast treat but thank you heavens above.
Tanner smiled, melting some of the icicles around my doorframe, “Libby I am here to kidnap you for the day so as attractive as those pajamas are I think you better get dressed.”
I knew that look of determination and decided it would be a useless battle to say no. Gage was with friends that weekend and the ranch was under control with the weekend hands so I did not have any responsibilities. What an odd feeling? I left Tanner in the living room and quickly showered. Tanner Dixon is here to kidnap me. What in the world does that mean? I decided after my shower that I deserved a little pampering and there was not a single thing wrong with wanting to feel like a desired woman. So I dressed in a long skirt, tall boots, fitted sweater, scarf and jacket.
When I walked out of the bedroom Tanner’s expression was one of unfettered male satisfaction.
“You look absolutely stunning,” Tanner said.
I felt myself blushing but I did not look away as I walked toward him saying, “I’m all yours Mr. Dixon.” Flirt much? Oh what the heck you only live once right?
Even though they were simple words they held years of unrequited love. Tanner took a ragged breath showing he was as affected as I was by the possibilities that lie ahead. It took everything in my power but I put a head to his chest as I walked out the door. The electricity was amazing and I had not felt that sort of incredible tension since I had been with Tanner sixteen years ago. Looks like you still got it girl!
Tanner held his truck door open for me and helped me climb in, his hands around my waist. I closed my eyes at the warm sensation they left as he closed the door and crossed around the front of the truck and climbed in. My nerves were scrambled and I fumbled a bit with my seatbelt. After securing myself I risked a look at Tanner.
“Am I going to enjoy this kidnapping?” I asked when Tanner had begun to back out of the driveway. As if I could not enjoy a day alone with Tanner.
In lieu of an answer Tanner just smirked and turned up the radio. He obviously remembers that I like surprises. I took that as my cue to enjoy the scenery and occasionally catch glimpses of his profile as we cruised along the highway. I held my hope of a romantic surprise silently because I did not want to do anything that might jinx the date. Err I mean kidnapping.
It became clear in a few hours that we were headed into the city. I had been to the city several times before but I just preferred the country. Something about the sheer size of it caused me anxiety. I craved the open air of the country to the crowded streets of the city.
Tanner must have noticed the change in my posture because he grabbed my hand pulling my fingers to his lips for a slight kiss.
“I want to show you where I have been Libby,” Tanner started, “to show you some of the reasons I loved being in the city.”
I caught his gaze and you could see he was visibly nervous about what my reaction would be. I squeezed his hand and said, “Ok Tanner show me what you’ve got.”
The relief rolled off him in waves and I made the decision right then and there to give him the day to let me into that part of his life. It was important enough for him to bring me here so the least I could do was give him a chance to prove me wrong about the city.
After searching for a parking space, one of the reasons I preferred the country, we went to an art museum with an entire wing dedicated to landscape photography. We had taken a few school trips to museums but I had not been in one as an adult. The difference was phenomenal and I quickly understood why Tanner had chosen this place.
I had not realized that Tanner loved photography and he had even taken a few courses during college to help him hone his hobby. He confessed that during some of the most stressful times at work he would take his camera for a few hours and just walk around the city snapping hundreds of shots as things presented themselves. I made him promise to show me some of his favorites when we got back to the ranch.
It was amazing to see Tanner with such passion for something, but his description of the stress at work also raised a red flag. He still had not disclosed his exact reason for leaving the city and every time I brought up work he was swift to change the subject. I pushed the questions down as we moved on to the next surprise visit, a theatre production of Wicked.
As children we had a slumber party every year when The Wizard of Oz played on TV. We ate popcorn and s'mores and tried to scare each other when the flying
monkeys came on. I realized as I thought back that we actually continued that tradition up through high school. We just did more kissing during those years than watching of the movie.
It was incredibly sweet that he chose this particular show. There were a lot of plays in the city but he had made sure the one we saw was meaningful. It was just another thing Tanner did to remind me of the reasons I had fallen in love with him to begin with. Tanner had always been good at remembering the small stuff most people take for granted. It was a wonderful trait and I was glad he had not lost it.
It was a late afternoon showing but it was still a sold out show and the people watching was excellent. There was so much excitement in the air it would have been hard not to get caught up in it. I squeezed his hand as the music started and I do not think my smile could have grown any bigger. The musical was fantastic and the joy on Tanner’s face when I gushed over the performance was enough to make me want to buy tickets for the next show. He was trying to please me and so far it was definitely working.
Bit by bit I was beginning to allow myself to see how Tanner could love the city. There was so much to do here and just as many different kinds of people to interact with. It was like another world and if you belonged in this world then the ranch world would never be enough for you. Pieces of the puzzle that was Tanner were falling into place. He really did not want to be at home did he?
We walked through parks and stopped at a farmer’s market in the middle of all the corporate buildings for a piece of fruit to snack on. Then he took me to a bookstore that seemed to go on for miles. He even confided in me that he come here on Sundays after breakfast and read for hours about anything that did not have to do with finance. I wanted to ask why but something in the way his eyes clouded over told me to wait him out. Tanner would tell his tale when they time was right for him.
Even though we seemed to walk for hours and Tanner was a knowledgeable tour guide, we seem to sidestep any actual buildings Tanner had lived or worked in. He was showing me his social life and the reasons he had fallen in love with the city. Maybe those other things are why he had needed to start over. I tried to shake negativity from my thoughts and just enjoy that he was choosing to share anything with me.
Our final destination of the day was a cozy and quaint restaurant inside a refurbished house on the east side of the river. There were white tablecloths, candles and tuxedoed waiters. I was feeling intimidated until I felt Tanner’s hand close over mine as the host led us to our corner table. Why does his touch still have that calming and soothing affect on me?
The menu was mouthwatering with fresh seafood and pasta. There were soups, salads, fish I had never even heard of and vegetables prepared in every way imaginable. It was an overwhelming amount of choices and there were no prices listed. I don’t want Tanner to think I am getting the most expensive thing on the menu to spite him. I don’t even know what his financial situation is since he moved back.
I was struggling to decide what might be cheapest on the menu when Tanner, who must have seen my resistance, said, “Would you mind if I ordered for both of us?”
I am sure my exclamation of relief could be heard across the room but as long as I did not have to decide it was worth it. Tanner smiled and ordered what seemed like a ridiculous amount of food for two people but I trusted him and knew it would be delicious. He also ordered us each a glass of wine. I made a toast to kidnapping and we talked about everything we had done that day until our meals came. I made sure that Tanner knew how much I appreciated his thoughtfulness throughout the day without sounding mushy or overly sentimental. I was using a mom trait to keep things light but still important.
Then our food was delivered and I was like a fish out of water. I do not know where Tanner learned to eat like this but I could see why he had become so spoiled. We had a creamy potato and leek soup, a winter root vegetable salad, glazed salmon and a chocolate soufflé from heaven covered in angel dust (or powdered sugar). I loved good food but had only been exposed to home-style food that was good for a family and a bunch of ranch hands. As I licked my spoon of chocolate soufflé I decided I could definitely get used to eating like this.
The conversation flowed easily throughout dinner with Tanner explaining how he had learned about different types of food by entertaining clients and trying as many restaurants as he could. I shared the cooking wisdom I had picked up over the years by watching The Food Network, learning from his mom and trying to get a picky kid to eat healthy. A feat that is so much harder than anyone tells you. Tanner had relaxed since we had arrived in the city, almost as if he had left his skin here and was returning his body to its rightful place. Why does that thought make me sad? I want Tanner to be happy don’t I?
Tanner mentioned that he brought me to the city to show me his past life putting the stress on the past part. He was now ready to be part of the ranch, as long as he could visit the city once a year. I laughed at his deadpan face and took another bite of dessert. I continued to watch Tanner as I cleaned my spoon. His eyes had gone from playful to heated in seconds. I realized that I had been sighing while licking the spoon and I am sure I had a look of pure joy on my face. I was touched by his gaze in places long since dormant and I felt the blush creep up my face. While this should have embarrassed me, it actually made me feel powerful and sexy.
Tanner took my hand for the rest of the dessert and coffee and never took his eyes off my lips. You could measure the heat of our connection and anyone around us could almost certainly feel the charged atmosphere. Tanner had not kissed me since the day in the barn and I had been wondering if he regretted it. However the look in his eyes tonight said he was leaning towards the side of doing it again and soon. Cannot be soon enough.
We walked hand in hand back to the truck and he reached around me for the car door. Now or never Libby. I turned in his arms and raised my chin while moistening my bottom lip with my tongue. I heard his breath catch and watched his eyes spark with want. I rose up on my toes meeting him halfway before his mouth claimed mine. The kiss was sweet then needy as his arms pulled me close enough to feel his heartbeat. Our tongues met in hesitation but quickly remembered each other and we both fell deeper into the kiss. Home sweet home.
When we finally pulled apart both of us were short of breath and Tanner’s eyes were wild with the desire I remember him having for me long ago. He leaned forward and kissed me gently without a word and helped me into the truck. My legs were shaking and my lips felt swollen and unbelievable. This was what a kiss should do to you.
A kiss should turn your world upside down and leave you always wanting more. Tanner Dixon knew how to kiss me and he obviously remembered our kissing lessons at the stream because he never missed a beat. Giving and taking when necessary, allowing me to follow his kiss with contentment I had not felt in years. As he got into his side I was struggling to keep myself from crawling onto his lap and begging to be kissed again. I knew that we both needed time and as awesome as the day was, we still had a lot to learn about each other. The difficulty was convincing my body of this fact. One more kiss is not going to cut it so wait and see.
By the time we were in the car heading back to the ranch I was exhausted from the non-stop agenda of the day. The truth is I would always be a country girl at heart, but the fact that Tanner wanted to let me into his world was a big leap forward in repairing our broken relationship.
He had thought of everything on our kidnapping date today and I could not shake the feeling that we had crossed over the final barrier in our healing process. He obviously wanted to be more than friends, but I was still not one hundred percent sure he wanted to work towards a romantic relationship.
His city life sounded fast paced and hectic but full of interesting people and places. I could see some of the places he had pointed out to me held more meaning than others, but the pieces of his time away were slowly falling into place. My body had made up its mind about the grown-up Tanner, but my mind was still filling in the blanks. There was s
till so much missing from the picture, but I had to be honest with myself and recognize that my heart did not care. I had Tanner Dixon in my life again and I felt like the luckiest girl on the planet.
The city lights showed up in the rearview mirror and I happily tucked away the memories from today. I knew I was taking a risk allowing myself to dream of a future with Tanner but I wanted him and I would be doing myself a disservice to not at least try. The only thing left for me to do was be prepared to accept what he was going to give me. That and how I might have to decide if it was going to be enough.
I started to nod off and cuddled closer to Tanner for warmth and stability. Tanner had always been my rock throughout my younger years and leaning on him came as naturally as breathing. His arm came around my shoulders and pulled me to him. His chest was warm and I could feel his heart beating. I was tempted to slide my hand through the buttons of his shirt and touch his skin, but I thought better of it. Best to wait until the time was right, if there was even going to be a time.
I barely remember smiling up at Tanner with heavy eyelids thinking about how full my heart felt at that moment. It was as if the lightning had opened up a portion of my heart that had been shielded from the world since Tanner left and right now that hole was filled with love and contentment.
With the last of my consciousness I whispered, “I love you Tanner,” then slipped off to sleep before he even had a chance to reply.
To be continued…
Thank you for reading!
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Last Chance Cowboy
by
Kelly Warren
Chapter One
Carmen held his wrist checking his pulse as the dust stirred in the air. All around them people gaped wondering whether the bull would charge at the medic and cowboy again. One of the bullfighters sprinted between the bull and the fallen rider while Carmen put her hand on Tad’s shoulder. Her black hair touched his forehead briefly. Although he lay on his back in the middle of the arena, he at least felt hair on his forehead. He checked what else he could still feel. He didn’t know the extent of how badly he was injured. When he reached to his waist, it hit him like he’d been pierced by the horns of a bull. He couldn’t feel anything from the neck down.
(3 Book Box Set) "Cowgirl Desires" & "Last Chance Cowboy" & "Embracing Love Again" Page 5