She could hear the roar of the bikes as they sped around in the parking lot and up and down the side-roads, hoping they'd move on. She was disappointed about an hour later when they rolled back into the lot. Peeking from the edges of her curtain, she looked out and saw what looked to be about twenty pissed off guys. It made her nervous as she checked and re-checked her locks, but she pounced on top of the bed and curled up with the Glamour Magazine and her new friend, Maxwell. A brown teddy that could relate to her pain was what she needed; because it was Curtis' favorite name. She read until she couldn’t see the words anymore and then she and Maxwell drifted off to sleep.
She had wanted to get on the road a few hours earlier; however, the morning wake-up call never came. Now she'd be running behind. She called her mother and assured her that she was on the road. The least she could do was tell her that she was about a hundred miles down the road, and she'd make up for the lost time somehow.
Chapter Two
Plowing through the traffic, she noticed several cars honking and waving her on as they passed her in record times. They weren't aware that her old Ford would shimmy and shake if she went over fifty. At times, she just smiled as they passed by. Other times, she wasn't so polite and raised a certain finger in the air. But Dayton was coming closer and closer and she knew that in no time at all, she'd be wrapped up in her mama's arms. There was no one that could console her like her mother.
Hours later, she could see Sparta just ahead. She almost felt a jolt of excitement as the truck inched towards the county line. Not recognizing a few things, she couldn't believe how things had changed and how other things was exactly the same. Just on the outskirts of town, she could see kids gathered in a lot of an old gas station. It had been the prime meeting place when she was in high school. It looked like it still was, except the station had shut down. It was sad for her to see old Mr. Humphrey's inability to keep it going.
The kids looked younger than her class had, and for a moment she wondered if they were Junior High age instead. But, sitting behind the wheels were long haired kids, boys and girls alike. She waved as she passed them by, but no one responded. They stared at her as if she was unwanted, a stranger who had taken a wrong exit. A few of the girls gave her piercing glares as she drove by them, and she hit her horn in rebellion.
A few miles out of town, she would be passing by a few of her old friends. As far as she knew, she knew nothing about them and if they were still around or not. Slowing down to a crawl, she peeked across the freshly plowed grounds, hoping to catch a glance of a familiar face. Feeling a bit uneasy, she drove on about five more miles. That's when she saw her mother standing on the front porch. Seeing her mother brought back the reason why she was there. An overwhelming pain caused her to speed up. I need you mommy. Hitting the soft dusty trail that led straight to the front porch, she could feel the eagerness overwhelm her. She had missed her mother so bad and she was about to land in her waiting arms. About the time she skidded to a halt, she looked up to see a worried frown across her mother's soft face, and she slowed it down. Before she could get out, her mother was right by her side, first scolding her and then embracing her. Olivia held onto her mother for a long time; all the sorrow she tried so hard to hide gave way to groans and a flood of tears. They left her bags loaded in the truck and she grabbed Maxwell by the arm and followed her mother into the old farmhouse.
"I've needed this for a long time." Giving her mother another hug, she ran straight to her old bedroom. To her surprise, it was just as she had left it.
"Oh my goodness, you didn’t get rid of anything," Olivia exclaimed.
"Why would I get rid of a thing? I knew you'd be home someday, even for a visit."
Her mom's eyes grew wide as she studied her daughter's joyous reaction. Giggling like a school girl, she was able to lay her sorrows aside. She watched as daughter touched each stuffed animal. She had won many from the county fairs, while others were gifts from old boyfriends. Olivia started to danced with the larger stuffed toys. Her mom laughed softly, she was so happy that Olivia could escape the pain of losing her husband. Her “happy” bear dance was as enjoyable to her as it was to Olivia.
"What do you say? Do you feel like some burgers cooked on the pit? It's a glorious day and we could sit in the backyard and catch up?" Her mother, Diane Tifferton, knew how her daughter's heart must yearn for her husband, and getting her mind off things was her goal. She too, had lost Oliva's father when her daughter was young. If anyone could relate to the pain, she could. She also knew it would take much more than burgers on the pit to keep her daughter's mind fresh and to help her heal her heart. She had thought long and hard before Olivia arrived and she had sat down with an ongoing list. On that list were names scribbled on a pad, from her daughters past. She could only hope that Livy would take to the idea.
***
Growing up on the farm in Sparta, Tennessee, with no father left fewer options to a young girl, because she was busy with chores and helping out on the farm. Chores had to come first… then play. All of Livy's friends knew the rules. For that reason some of those friends hated farming.
Others took to it like water, feeling no burdens when they'd spend the night saving the crops from an early frost. While knowing they had to be up at dawn, helping in the barns or checking on the crops. Farming is a very demanding field. That is why Diane Tifferton and her husband chose it. They wanted their daughter to be aware of her surroundings and to take on the responsibility of earning her keep.
Livy carried many things she learned to the city, and tried to put those skills to good use. Many times, the extra worked proved to be uneventful in a society that lived the fast track. Coming home was like a vacation to Livy, and it was supposed to be the start of a new life, after her husband's passing.
However, Livy hasn’t been able to accept the death of her husband. They had told her that he was missing, only presuming that he was dead. That one word, presuming had given her hope that he might be found and come home. In her mind, she was still Mrs. Curtis Lane. Her mom mentioned a few names that were scribbled on the notepad; Olivia was shocked. A few of those names were males, boys that had grown into men. Most of those boys she either dated or know as a young girl. “Oh my gosh Mom, Olivia thought, what is she up to?”
She went into the kitchen to investigate; her mother withdrew a small pad of paper from the drawer at the bar.
"What's that Mom?"
"I made a list of old friends that I thought you might like to get back in touch with. The ones on the list still live around here."
“Is that what you were reading a second ago.”
Her mother nodded.
Livy looked down almost immediately she started to shake her head….no, no, no!
"Mom, please don't do that…. don't go there. I don't want to date anyone. I love Curtis; he is the only man for me."
"I understand that sweetheart, but you will have to start over some day. Why not just get in touch with a few friends?" Her mother was trying to push her enough to keep her busy, but Livy wasn't budging.
"That's okay. I know you mean well. But if there is a chance that Curtis might be alive, I want to welcome him home boyfriend free."
Twitching in her seat was always a habit that Livy could never stop. Anytime she was nervous or upset, she would twitch, lean the chair on its legs, or kick the chair leg. Usually, her mom would scold her, but not this time. Chairs just weren't that important anymore.
"I see. Alright I will abide by your wishes. But I think you'll change your mind. How about we grill some burgers?" Jumping from the kitchen chair, her mother got a roll of beef from the refrigerator drawer. "It won't take but a jiffy to these guys put together
"Want me to do it? You could start up the pit. You always were better at that part."
"I guess I was, considering you always seemed to start a fire, outside the circle." She aimed for that comment to get her mind off the list.
"Yea right. How could I ever forget th
at?"
Leaving Livy in the house, Diane hurried to the backyard, preparing the pit to build the fire. They grilled on an open fire ever since her late husband taught them. With wood being stored in a nearby bin, it didn't cost them anything to throw a few logs into the center. While her mom was outside, Livy grabbed her new stuffed bear, Maxwell and took him to her room. Placing him on her pillow, she smiled as she looked back. He was home, right where he belonged.
Livy Lane had grown into a bright and beautiful young woman. At five years old, her daddy told her that she'd break men's hearts. By sixteen, he ran off every young man that tried to woo her. As she strolled back into the kitchen, a fond memory came back to her about her father. She made him sign a contract when she was twelve, claiming that he would at least give each boy she'd bring home in the future, and a chance. If the boy messed up, then he could run him off. That promise wasn't kept. He ran them off as soon as they stepped out of their pickups.
All boys, growing into men, drove pickups. It was unheard of for a young man to own a car. Cars were for girls, trucks were for the guys. It was a rule. She laughed, recalling when the first young man chose to buy a car in Wolf Creek. He was ran across county line the day he showed up on old town square to show it off. The next day he talked his father into buying the car from him, and he went and bought an old Dodge Ram. She chuckled under her breath, remembering Billy Wayne. Until she remembered the letter her mother wrote, about his car accident. At age nineteen, he traded the Dodge for another car. Within the week, he had wrecked it, racing outside of town. She hated memories like that. Several times throughout the years, her mother had to sit down and write one of those letters. Four kids from her school had either been in wrecks or they had died from drug use.
Hurrying to meet her mother at the back door, she handed her a platter of burgers. Perfectly shaped, Diane was impressed. "I don't ever remember seeing such perfect work from you?"
"That just shows that you can learn some things from city life. I guess us city folk get pretty bored." She giggled and let the door slam behind her, forgetting how easy it shut. From the kitchen, she hollered, "Sorry Mom."
They spent the afternoon in the backyard, talking about the new births that occurred on the farm.
“Winnie, had another calve, she was all black with a white patch in the middle of her head,” Diane said in a motherly tone.
“Awe I’ve missed Winnie so much.”
“I’m sure she would love to see you. She is out to pasture right now, but you should go round them up later, and say hi.”
“I think I will,” signed Olivia.
“Hey mom do you know an Amber Dawson.”
"Amber?" Her mom responded, “I’m not sure.”
"You know Amber. Amber Dawson, she's the one that got me grounded for staying out too late, and swimming naked down at the creek beds."
"Oh…. that Amber. She's still around. She's on that list."
"I saw her that."
"She is living with her mom right now. I guess she had a hard time with the last young man she dated. I heard that he beat her, but you know how the town gossips. I wouldn't have believed it, but I saw the marks all over her arms myself."
"Some guy beat her up? Is he still around?"
"Yea, it's that Cordez boy. What was his first name?'
"Jack. I never did like him. Did she go to the cops?"
"No one could get her to turn him in. Her mother tried until she was blue in the face. If she was mine, I would have made her go to the Police Station."
"Sure you would have. God, I remember when that one kid… what was his name? Something like Cage or Gage?"
"That was Gage Dire. I would have whooped his tail end if I could have gotten past his worthless mama."
"Oh well. I struggled through it."
“It took you two months, before you had the nerve to venture outside the house.”
Livy went on a date with a kid from her school. She made her mother promise not to tell her father when she came home bruised. After begging her to keep it quiet, her mother crept out the back door, and hunted Gage Dire down herself. Livy was afraid to tell her father, thinking he'd never let her go out with another boy. However, her father died two weeks later.
Paul Tifferton died of a long battle with colon cancer, leaving Diane to raise Livy through the remaining two years of high school. At sixteen, losing her father was one of the worst things she had gone through. He taught her to drive when she was much younger, so by the time she received her license, it wasn't a big deal at all. But if it wasn't for her father, she might not have been such the experienced driver.
Her driver's education teacher trusted her driving so much, that he bent the laws quietly and allowed Livy to teach half the students. He'd take one in his car, and she'd take the next in her dad's beat up old Ford truck.
They laughed and shared old memories for the rest of the evening. When the cuckoo clock chimed eleven times, her mother suggested that they both get some sleep. Kissing her mother, she skipped to her bedroom, and jumped into bed, tucking Maxwell under the blankets with her. She could hear the crickets and the frogs resting on rocks along the creek, just down the small hill behind the house. It had been ages since she had heard frogs, and it scared her at first. After a few minutes of listening closely to all the bumps in the night, she relaxed and settled in. Just before she closed her eyes, she saw her husband's face. Staring up at him, she remained still under the cozy covers, being sure not to blink so she wouldn't miss the sight. Minutes passed and then he faded into the blackened night.
Chapter Three
Days passed as Livy settled in on the farm. As weird as it may sound, she was enjoying the chores, mucking the stalls, feeding and watering the animals, checking the crops for diseases, and gathering eggs helped her clear her mind. She loved it because the chores where strenuous enough to keep her mind off of Curtis.
However, after a little while she noticed that she was not as tired as she used to be. Maybe I’m in better shape than I thought…no something is weird. Except for Winnie there was only a calve, a bull, a goat, some pigs, chickens, and a goat. She was surprised to see that most of the livestock were missing. Her mother told her she would come out later to help with chores, but she forgot to warn her daughter. Within minutes, Livy walked through the back door.
"Mom, what happened to all the animals? There's hardly any left?" “And where is Bobby.” Olivia had to choke back the tears at the last statement.
“Bobby was Olivia’s favorite Heifer; she had the most beautiful hazelnut color. She had a connect with that cow because, she was the first animal that her dad had got, just for her.
“Awe sweets, I’m sorry about Bobby.” “But I had to get rid of them. After you left, I just couldn’t keep up with everything and work a full time job.
“But what about the farmers market, you and dad made a lot of money doing that when I was in high school?”
“Your dad was the one with the green thumb, not me. Winter really kicked my butt. I was going to tell you this later, but I guess it’s time…. after this season I will not be growing anymore produce.”
Olivia was completely shocked by her mother’s declaration. She thought before she spoke. She had forgotten the work involved in slopping pigs, gathering eggs, feeding the livestock, and taking care of three horses, five cows, and four dogs. While maintaining the crops, that where ever changing. She had left in such a hurry with Curtis, being eighteen and in love, she had failed to think about how hard it would be on her mom. She wasn't even sure if she ever apologized for it. Walking over to her mother, she grabbed her and gave her a long hug.
"Mom, I'm so sorry I left so quickly. God, I was so selfish."
"Selfish? Nonsense. You were a young lady in love. Those animals got me by for a long time. Kept my mind off of missing Paul and missing you. I just got to the point where I couldn’t keep up, that's all."
Livy returned to the barnyard, noticing that there wasn't eve
n one dog left. I'll have to fix that, she whispered under her breath. Everyone needs a dog. When she stepped out, she was glad to see that there was still a small garden in the back corner of the yard. At least we can have fresh vegetables in the spring and fall. She couldn't believe all that was left of daddy was in the barnyard. Where an empty water trough and a fence were located. Her work was done and she sat down beside her mother on the back porch steps.
"Well, the chores are pretty easy now."
Her mother smiled, missing the animals herself. The only noises she heard anymore were the moo’s, hens cackling as they nestled into their beds at night. It would be nice to have some noise in the aging house.
Each morning Livy collected eggs, helped her mother fix a healthy breakfast and spent the day cleaning a house that didn't have any dust. Nights were spent in the backyard, listening to critters and late nights spent in dreams of Curtis. The same thing every day. Her mother pushed a few more times about getting together with friends, but she still denied herself any kind of life. It would be a long time before she would give in and begin stepping out.
***
Two Years Later…
Livy finally talked her mother into rescuing an old stray dog. Livy loved the idea that she could save the life of a living being. She found a horse on craigslist for a good deal, he looked so lonely, she had to get her. Livy found out that the owner lived about a mile down the road. So she left to go look at the horse in the craigslist picture.
(3 Book Box Set) "Cowgirl Desires" & "Last Chance Cowboy" & "Embracing Love Again" Page 13