by S. A. Moss
“I don’t understand what that means, Reeva. Please.” I was on the verge of tears. If she didn’t explain what the hell was going on in real, actual words soon, I was going to lose it entirely.
“The earthly plane is harming him now. You need to take him back to the Shroud.”
My jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
Reeva drew a lazy pattern on Alex’s chest with one finger. “Of course. I don’t like jokes. They’re just lies people laugh at.”
I scrunched my eyes shut, shaking my head. This seemed insane. “And if I take him to the Shroud, that will help him?”
“For a while.”
“And then what?”
Reeva wobbled her head. “Then it will hurt him again. You’ll bring him back to Earth. Then back to the Shroud. Then back to Earth. Then back to—”
“Okay, yeah, I get it,” I interrupted before she got stuck in a loop I’d never get her out of. “So he needs a little of both?”
“More like a little of neither,” she said, and I had to clench my hands to keep from shaking her. Luckily, she continued without prompting this time. “He belongs to neither plane. He doesn’t need to be in one, so much as he needs to be out of the other. But both are rejecting him. One day he may not be able to survive in either.”
I blinked at her. “Are you saying he’s dying?”
She stepped away, her full skirt swishing. Her eyes were fixed on Alex’s face, her expression sad. “Poor dear. Poor, poor thing.”
“Reeva.” My voice was thick. I needed an answer, although I wasn’t sure I wanted one. “Is. He. Dying?”
Her gaze flicked to me, the long years of her existence etched on her shifting features.
“Yes.”
18
The dark expanse of Lake Michigan spread out beside us as we sped down Lakeshore Drive. The cab smelled like French fries, and for some reason, the driver had turned off the radio as soon as we’d gotten in. Maybe he’d taken one look at our faces and decided this wasn’t the time for a countdown of the greatest rock and roll hits.
But I really wished he’d left it on. The silence was suffocating.
As soon as Reeva had left, I’d faded back in and told Alex what she’d said—well, most of it. I’d told him we needed to go to the Shroud, and that I was taking him to the Haven. I wanted to be somewhere comfortable and protected, where he could rest without fear of a tiger-creature or pig-demon attack.
But I hadn’t been able to repeat Reeva’s last words.
Maybe she was wrong. She was a ghost, and she knew a lot about aether manipulation, but she wasn’t a doctor—either of humans or supernaturals. Maybe she was just guessing.
Alex reached across the seat between us and took my hand. “Hey. You all right?”
I snorted. “I should be asking you that.”
“I’m great. Don’t I look great?” He grinned wanly.
I scooted over into the middle seat and rested my head on his shoulder. “Yeah, you do.”
“Don’t worry, Cam. I’ll be okay. Besides, I’m kind of excited to see the Haven. You made it sound pretty cool.”
“Well, be prepared for the only cool thing you see to be the inside of a bedroom because I’m putting you to bed as soon as we get there.”
He chuckled, resting his hand on my knee and squeezing lightly. “Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.”
We lapsed into a more comfortable silence, watching the lights of downtown draw closer. When the cab driver dropped us off, Alex pulled out his wallet himself and paid the man. Then he leaned on me as we headed into the alley toward the green door marked, EMPLOYEES ONLY. I yanked open the door, and instead of the inside of a restaurant’s kitchen, a vast open room greeted us. The portal room.
I pulled Alex closer to me and we squeezed through the door side by side. I held by breath as we stepped through, worried for a moment that Alex would be barred from entering—either because of his human status or because of protections on the Haven. But nothing stopped us. Maybe coming through with me was the supernatural equivalent of wearing a visitor’s pass.
As the heavy door closed behind us, Alex craned his neck to take in the enormous space.
“Holy shit,” he breathed.
He was already putting less weight on me, and his color was improving. Whatever Reeva’s dire predictions for the future, she’d been right about this. Being in the Shroud seemed to be easing whatever had plagued him on Earth.
“This is the portal room?” He looked down at me long enough to catch my nod. “Wow. This would make a killer sparring arena.”
“You would think that,” I joked. “You see a giant supernatural portal room, and the first thing you think about is how you could turn it into a dojo.”
We crossed the wide space slowly, sticking to the perimeter. Alex read out the labels on the doors as we passed, seeming more impressed with each one. When we finally reached the front of the room, I pulled open one side of the huge double doors.
I should probably let the Council know we were here. I hoped they wouldn’t be mad that I’d brought Alex with me.
Ah hell, who am I kidding?
Adele would be cranky no matter what I did. Arcadius might not be too thrilled either, but maybe I could get Pearl to work on him. Assuming she wasn’t mad at me too.
By the time we had turned down a few hallways, Alex was walking on his own just fine. Relief and dread warred in my mind. If Reeva had been right about what was wrong with him, was she right that he was… dying?
Shoving the thought down as deep as I could, I slipped my arm around Alex’s waist.
He glanced down at me. “I’m feeling better. I don’t need the help anymore.”
I tightened my grip. “Yeah, I know.”
A smile bloomed on his face as he read my unspoken words. He threw an arm over my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “I like you.”
My chest expanded as warmth flooded my stomach. “I… like you back.”
Another word floated in the air between us, fraught with so much more meaning, but neither of us had the guts to give voice to it right now. I had told Pearl I loved him, and I was certain it was true. I would die for him—if I could—and I would kill for him.
In fact, there were two individuals I desperately hoped I’d have the opportunity to kill before this was all over. I gave a bloodthirsty smile at the thought.
As we rounded a corner leading to the Council chambers, the double doors burst open, striking the wall beside them with a resounding boom. Arcadius strode out, followed closely by Pearl. When he caught sight of me and Alex, his eyes widened. He strode toward us, heavy footsteps echoing off the stone floor.
“What is the meaning of this?”
I’d never seen Arcadius so riled up. I could almost imagine little puffs of steam shooting out of his ears. Damn it. Pearl must’ve told him I brought Alex here. But how had she known? Had we tripped some kind of alarm when I brought him through the portal? Maybe he didn’t have a “visitor’s pass” after all.
Slipping out from under Alex’s arm, I stepped in front of him, facing down the angry Guardian.
“I’m sorry, Arcadius. Reeva told me I had to bring him to the Shroud. He can’t be on Earth all the time anymore, it’s hurting him. I wanted to take him somewhere safe!”
Arcadius stopped short, a look of confusion softening the anger in his features. “What are you talking about?”
“Um, what are you talking about?” I asked slowly. I wasn’t going to keep throwing out guesses about what I’d done wrong. No need to give him more ammunition.
“We agreed to let you try to extricate the wraith from Nathan Reyes,” Arcadius said, his voice low and even. “You failed to mention that you were going to attempt the exorcism in front of an entire room full of humans.”
“I had to show them what he was!”
His features darkened. “And did it work?”
Crap. “Well, no. He—”
“He died. In front of thousan
ds of witnesses. By your hand.”
“It wasn’t like that! I was trying to detach him from the wraith, and something went wrong.”
By now, the rest of the Council had filtered into the hall and watched us quietly. Adele looked smug, but Sada wore a sad expression, and Owen’s usually happy face was creased with worry.
Arcadius shook his head. “We knew there was risk in attempting to pry a wraith out of its host. It has never been done before. But you’ve shown such aptitude for aether manipulation, it was worth a try.”
He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers before continuing.
“But that is not what the humans saw. They saw no wraith. They only saw you put your hands on their beloved leader and kill him with a single touch.” His eyes snapped open again, anger blazing in their depths. “And then they saw you turn on the crowd and attack their friends. No humans died, thankfully, but several were injured from being hurled across the room. News crews recorded the entire incident.”
I dropped my head. Part of me wanted to argue that if those people had chosen to follow cult leaders working for my father and Akaron, they deserved whatever they got. But I knew that was unfair. They didn’t have anywhere close to the full story, so they were reacting from a place of ignorance and primal fear.
And I’d just stoked that fear from a burning ember to a raging fire.
I’d given the Fallen exactly what they needed to turn more humans against us.
“I’m sorry, Arcadius.” My mouth was dry. “I’ll find a way to—”
Before I could finish that thought, a Guardian I didn’t recognize dashed up from the other end of the hall. He barged through into the center of our group, eyes darting from one person to the next.
“Council! Something is wrong.”
19
A moment of silence hung in the air after the dark-haired Guardian’s pronouncement.
I’m not sure what the others were thinking, but my thoughts were something along the lines of, Oh crap. What now?
Sada stepped forward, grasping the Guardian’s arm lightly. “What is it, Colin?”
“The humans, the cult members. They’re attacking other humans, claiming they’re like us. That they want to stop the ‘saviors’ from coming.”
Owen shook his head. “Bleedin’ idiots. Where?”
“Everywhere,” Colin answered. “It’s happening worldwide. How could the Fallen have organized another attack so quickly?”
“It doesn’t take long to organize chaos,” Arcadius said grimly. “All they did was put the right players into position to whip the humans into a frenzy, and then let them go.”
I swallowed, shooting a glance at Alex. Had my attack on the humans at the rally contributed to this? I might as well have handed the Fallen a match to light the fire.
“What should we do, sir?” Colin rocked on his heels. “There have already been execution-style killings, especially in areas where local law enforcement is non-existent or not equipped to respond.”
Arcadius turned to Pearl. “How many Guardians are at the Haven now?”
“Almost two hundred. Most of those are still awaiting reassignment after the abductions.”
“Good. You and Colin gather them and apprise them of the situation. Tell them to return to Earth immediately and subdue the humans without harming them, if possible. And to capture and restrain any wraith puppets they encounter. If we kill them, they’ll just slither into new hosts and continue sewing chaos—better to keep them where we can see them.”
Pearl nodded, surprising me by rising up and kissing Arcadius on the cheek before jerking her head at Colin and leading him away down the hall.
Arcadius glanced at his three compatriots. “We must spread the word to the Guardians already on Earth and help them control the situation.” He leveled a heavy look at me. “And you—”
“Will stay here!” I blurted.
Arcadius’s brows rose as he settled back on his heels. “I’ll admit I was about to suggest the same. But I’m surprised to hear you say it.”
I shrugged. “Alex can’t go back to Earth right now. Reeva said it was damaging him. I’ll stay behind with him. You guys got this.”
And I don’t want to make an even bigger mess of things.
For a moment, I worried I’d spoken that last thought out loud, because Arcadius’s face softened with understanding. “This isn’t your fault, Cam. Your actions tonight may have given the Fallen the perfect excuse to stir their followers into action. But if you hadn’t done what you did, they would’ve found another way.”
I could barely meet his eyes as I nodded. Arcadius was so much like a father to me. No matter how angry my frequent mistakes made him, he was always willing to forgive me too—often much sooner than I was willing to forgive myself.
Without another word, the Council members swept down the hall toward the portal room. As he passed, Owen patted me on the head, his giant hand as heavy as a mallet. I was surprised I didn’t sink six inches into the floor, but I was grateful for the show of support.
Then he rounded the corner after the others, leaving Alex and me alone in the hallway.
It felt… strange not to be rushing off to join the fray. Since the day I became a Guardian, I’d bounced from crisis to crisis with barely enough time to breathe in between. In my first meeting with them, the Council had made it sound like this job was usually pretty simple—catch a few stray supernaturals here and there, protect a human or two. Easy peasy.
Except nothing was easy peasy anymore. Thanks to my dad and Akaron.
“You didn’t have to stay just for me,” Alex said, pulling me from my darkening thoughts.
I bumped his shoulder. “I know. I wanted to.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. And you don’t want to risk fighting more humans. You’re scared you won’t be able to control yourself.”
My mouth dropped open as I searched for a rebuttal to prove that his—entirely accurate—assessment was way off base.
Alex smirked, setting off down the hall. “Open. Book.”
Scowling, I hurried to catch up with him. “Oh yeah, Mr. Smartypants? Do you even know where you’re going?”
“Yeah. This way.”
“You must be feeling better. You’re so sassy.”
He chuckled, the deep sound giving me goose bumps. “Sassy, huh? I do feel better though. Thanks for bringing me here. Did Reeva say whether this is permanent? Will I always have to go back and forth between the Shroud and Earth? It’s not my top choice, but it wouldn’t be so bad. I was serious about that portal room being great for training.”
I stopped walking, resting a hand against the cool stone next to me.
“You wouldn’t have to use the portal room for that. We have an actual training room here. And she…” I hesitated, then spoke over the lump in my throat. “She said you’re dying.”
Saying the words made it feel more real, but I couldn’t keep the truth from Alex. Every time I did that, even when it was in an attempt to spare him worry or pain, it backfired big time. He was right. We were supposed to be partners, and partners didn’t keep secrets from each other.
Alex had walked ahead several steps before realizing I was no longer by his side. He turned back slowly, his gaze catching mine. I tried to look calm, but the effort of holding back the tears stinging my eyes made my face feel pinched and hot.
“I’m… what?” Alex’s voice was soft, his brow furrowed.
“She said you’re dying, Alex. That both planes of existence are rejecting you. She could be wrong, but she’s been right about everything else. I’m so sorry, Alex.”
My lips felt numb as I spoke the words, my stomach twisting with dread. How could this be happening? I had accepted the fact the loving a mortal would mean losing him one day. But that day was supposed to be a long, long way off.
Retracing his steps, Alex tilted my chin up, his hand steady. His green eyes were intense, but I couldn’t identify the emotion b
ehind them. “I’m not dead yet.”
I shook my head. The fingers lifting my chin moved with me. “No. But—”
“Remember how I told you I liked you?” He frowned. “That wasn’t entirely true.”
My stomach knotted. Oh, no. Did he blame me for what had happened to him? Why wouldn’t he? It was my fault. If he hadn’t gotten involved with me, my dad never would have taken him to the Shroud.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I—”
“I love you.”
My brain seized. I gazed up at him, shocked. “You—?”
“I love you, Cam. You’re the strongest, bravest, goofiest, most incredible woman I’ve ever known. If I’m dying, I don’t want to waste another second without you knowing that.”
“Are you—are you sure?” I could barely speak. “We’ve only known each other for a few months. And everything is so messed up. I’m immortal. And you’re—”
“You’re going to exist forever, and I’m dying. Doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”
The floor seemed to dip beneath me, my equilibrium going haywire as joy and heartache wrestled for dominance in my chest. I reached up to clutch his hand, pressing it to my cheek.
“I love you too, Alex,” I whispered. “So much.”
20
“I thought maybe you did,” Alex murmured, a small smile quirking his lips.
His green eyes were hypnotic as he gazed steadily at me. His other hand rose to my face as he dipped his head to capture my lips in a heartbreakingly tender kiss.
I twined my arms around his neck, lifting onto my tiptoes to press my body as close to him as I could. He angled his head, deepening the kiss as a low sound rose in his throat. The smell and feel of him invaded my senses, and with every sweep of my tongue against his, I tried to absorb and capture a part of him.
Something that death or time could never take away.
My hands slipped under his shirt, gliding along the strong muscles of his back. His heart hammered against my chest, matching the beat of my own as mortality flooded me, bringing all my nerves to life with it. His body was warm, the muscles under his smooth skin taut and powerful.