The thing that had made it perfect, though, had been scoring the hotel for the venue. My uncle ran the place, and it was not even close to being in our budget. But when I’d heard someone had cancelled their big event, I’d been able to pull the favorite niece card and convinced Uncle Vinny to let us use it. The couple that cancelled had lost a sizable deposit that my uncle graciously said covered the room fee. All in all, we spent around seven hundred dollars, but it looked like a twenty-thousand-dollar wedding.
“Thank you so much, Nora. This was so much more than Charlie or I ever dreamed of.”
“It was my pleasure. Besides, it was mostly luck. My uncle having that cancellation was amazing. Someone else’s tragedy is our windfall, and it is so much more beautiful having your reception here than in that cramped church hall.”
My eyes strayed back to José. When he’d returned from the garden, his hair was decidedly disheveled, and he sported an unholy look on his face. A very attractive brunette he’d been talking to out on the patio returned a few moments before he did, also looking a little less put together than when she had vanished into the garden with him. I’m not a hundred percent sure what went down out there, but I had a high IQ, so I could guess. She all but confirmed it, too, as she collected her coat and left. I had expected José to leave as well, but he didn’t.
A small piece of me was thrilled about that, but it was a short-lived victory. I still knew they’d been together. Despite however many parties I had attended where José was there, he had never even attempted to pick me up. Seriously, why was I still doing this to myself? First of all, the guy would never notice me, and second, even if he did—and found me attractive—the best I could hope for was fumbling sex in a dark corner. I sighed heavily. However good that illicit sex was rumored to be, he would walk away that night, not realizing I’d pine for him forever.
“You have to get over my twin.” Mia was watching me as I watched him.
“Yeah, I know. I am working on it.”
“What you need is a distraction. And by a distraction, I mean you need to find yourself a real man who will care for you and adore you.”
Charlie appeared, and he tugged Mia to her feet so he could kiss her.
“I don’t suppose you have any handsome brothers, do you, Charlie?” I sighed, wishing there was a replica Charlie somewhere waiting for me.
He patted my head. “Sorry, only an older sister.”
Charlie and Mia were together because of me. Before they came to my dad’s lake house over the summer, they were both mooning over each other from afar. With my matchmaking skills, they were head over heels in love by the end of the weekend. Though, there had been a slight hiccup when José interfered by getting inside Charlie’s head. The poor guy thought he was being disloyal and taking advantage of their friendship.
See, I know José is a total asshole. He doesn’t have one redeeming feature! Well, perhaps that’s not quite true, because he is gorgeous and has a sexy swagger, and somehow, he has cast a spell over me.
“I saw you dancing with Raul earlier. My cousin is single.”
“Subtle, Mia. Very subtle.”
“But he is handsome, don’t you think? And honestly he is so much more caring than my brother.”
Check and check. There was nothing wrong with Raul. He even bore a little resemblance to José. When we danced earlier, he was very attentive, and I have to admit it felt good being in his arms.
“Mmm, he is.” Perhaps Mia was right. If I put my energy into finding someone else, then I could finally forget about José. “How old is he?”
“Nineteen. He just started at Madison. Raul’s smart, too. He’s studying engineering, like me, and I happen to know he is sweet on you.”
Even though I was also nineteen—I’d been put up a year in grade school, graduated early, and started college when I was still seventeen—I feared Raul might be too young for me. I laughed “We just met, how can you possibly know that?”
“Because he hasn’t stopped staring at you all night. Go put my cousin out of his misery and dance with him some more. And please, promise me that this year you will forget about my brother. He’s really not the one for you, honey.”
I looked up at her and Charlie. In my heart, I knew she was right. I wanted what Mia had. A handsome man who worshipped me and wasn’t afraid to commit. But inside, there was a rebellious wild-child that also wanted to taste the forbidden fruit. José was totally wrong for me, but I was still prepared to let him walk all over my heart if I could spend one night with him.
“Okay, wish me luck.” To delay things, I smoothed none-existent wrinkles from my dress.
“You look gorgeous, Nora, go get him.”
Across the room, I could see both Raul and José without even turning my head. Though I knew Mia meant her cousin when she’d said that to me, I could still feel a magnetic attraction to the other Estrada man. Even as I took the first tentative step forward, I wasn’t quite sure who I was going to. But as I stepped halfway across the room José turned his back on me to ogle an attractive woman as she walked by him. I forced my feet towards Raul, and as he realized I was heading toward him, his eyes lit up.
“Hey, Nora, you want to dance some more?” His gaze drifted to his feet, as he asked.
“Actually, I wondered if you’d like to sit in the garden for a while. It’s so noisy in here, we can’t talk.”
When he grinned back at me, there was a hint of dimples just like José had, but on Raul they didn’t seem as dangerous, rather they were cute and made him boyishly handsome. “Sure, let me grab a couple of drinks.” He lowered his voice and put his hand in mine. “My uncle is running the bar, he’ll let us have some of that sparkling wine.”
With the tall flutes full of golden fizz in our hands, we went outside. Somewhere there must have been some winter Jasmine, because the scent wafted across the courtyard on the breeze. I shivered, since it was much colder out than I anticipated. It had been an unusually mild fall, and I’d been fooled into thinking the nights would have been as warm as the days.
“There’s a patio heater over there.” Raul indicated a secluded spot, and I followed him over. After we put our drinks down on a low wall, he insisted on placing his jacket around my shoulders.
“Thank you, that’s so kind.”
He swiped some stray strands of hair from under the lapel of his jacket and his fingers lingered on my neck. His touch was gentle, and it stirred dormant feelings inside me. I hadn’t been with a guy since my senior year of high school, and, frankly, I was convinced I was going to die without ever having sex again. I nuzzled against his hand, and he cupped my face, tilting it upwards.
Raul was much shorter than José–probably by about six inches. To most women he would possibly appear short, but as I was only a smidge over five-feet, he still had to stoop to kiss me. The kiss was as gentle as the touch on my face, and his gentleness made a little part of me melt. It was nice to be held, to feel wanted.
We stayed out in the courtyard for over an hour, kissing a little and talking a lot, getting to know each other. We liked the same bands and shared a passion for the same hockey team. Raul didn’t play, but he had followed José since he was a kid, and he was in awe of his cousin’s skill.
At the end of the night, he walked me to my hotel room, and I wondered if I should have invited him in. Outside my door, Raul wasn’t pushy. In fact, he was a perfect gentleman; after he gave me another nice kiss, he shyly asked me for my number. When he backed along the hallway, grinning at me with those Estrada dimples on show, I almost called him back. Almost. But even though I didn’t relish being alone, I could not do it. As nice as Raul was… he was only nice. He didn’t set my heart racing, and even though there was nothing wrong with the way he kissed me, he didn’t leave me breathless or tingling all over either.
Inside my room, I undressed and snatched up the romance book I was reading. All the heroines had earth-shattering orgasms and toe-curling kisses. None of them had nice. As I re
ad another chapter, my attention wandered to José. Instinctively, I knew his kisses would be passionate and heady, and if we ever slept together, I was pretty sure he’d set me on fire. Sheesh, I’m kidding myself. I had elevated José to a god status in my imagination, and it was ruining other men for me.
Picking up my phone, I thought about calling Raul. For a moment, I wondered if spending the night with him would cure me of my insanity. Probably not. Raul looked too much like José, and what I needed was someone totally different to pull me out of my José fog.
It was like a revelation hit me, and then and there, I decided I had to move on. Starting the following day, I was going to try to find myself a decent guy and forget about José Estrada.
My phone buzzed and I looked down to find a message from Angie. I’d barely spoken to her all night as I’d been so busy organizing things, and then when I did have time, she and Kai were hanging out with José.
I have the answer to your apartment share problems.
You do? Do you know someone who wants to move in?
No, but you could move in with Kai and me!
That would be cozy! Sorry, not sure I’m that into Kai.
OMG Nora! I mean Charlie’s old room is vacant. We need to find someone to take it over.
My heart quickened. I’d loved sharing with Angie last year, and Kai was a real sweetie. It’d be so fun living with them, but…
Is this ok with José?
Yeah, he thinks it is a terrific idea.
Oh, God, this is such a bad idea. How would I get over José if I was sharing an apartment with him? Nope, I couldn’t do it. It would break may heart the first time I saw him bring another girl home.
I don’t know, can I think about it?
Of course, just not for long. We need someone in before the end of November and we’re running out of time.
What am I doing? Why did I say I’d think about it? Refuse now. This will never work.
Okay, Yes!!! I’ll take it.
What the…? It’s confirmed, I am a complete moron.
EEK! Soooooo excited. I’ll let the boys know. This is going to be fantastic.
Message her back, and tell her you were joking. She has to know this is the worst idea ever. But my fingers seemed to have forgotten how to type. Okay, Nora. Is this what you want? To move in and torture yourself? To have a ringside seat, so you can truly experience what a player and a slob the guy is? Though perhaps the idea was not as stupid as it sounded, it might make me finally end my stupid crush on José Estrada.
Three
José
Thanksgiving, A Week Later…
Seeing Charlie sitting around my family’s Thanksgiving table was messing with my head. For years, it has been Mom, me, and Mia on the one long side, then my three cousins, Mary, Raul, and Daisy, opposite us, with my aunt and uncle occupying the two ends. But Mia was not just Mia anymore, she was Mrs. Fucking Hamilton, and she was sitting at our table with her husband.
Mia, Charlie, me, and Mom.
It was all wrong, and it was putting me off my food.
Don’t get me wrong, Charlie and I had got over most of our difficulties. I didn’t forgive him totally for sleeping with my sister, but they were married, and the guy did land himself a fucking spot on an NHL team. He was on his way, and I was content for him. Hockey was a tough sport with a lot of competition, but my brother-in-law—fuck, not sure I can get used to that, though—was doing what me and the rest of the Madison hockey team could only dream about—getting paid to play the greatest sport in the world.
Mia leaned forward to look around Charlie and knitted her eyebrows together. She saw what I saw and with our twin connection, she sensed when I was in trouble. “You okay?”
I nodded, hoping there was a faint trace of a smile on my lips, but from the tension in my jaw muscles, I suspected it was more like a grimace. Both the nod and the piss-poor attempt at a smile were lies.
It was starting to get hot in the room, and even though the smell of our feast should have made me salivate, it was actually having the opposite effect. A sourness invaded my stomach, making me squirm in my seat. I had no clue how to get through dinner. We’d only just sat down, and my uncle hadn’t even said Grace yet, but I was already wondering if I could get away with feigning a migraine, so I could leave the table.
The doorbell startled everyone around into silence, and before they could gather their wits, Daisy jumped up from her chair, and her face lit up like she just won the lottery. “Sorry, everyone.” Throwing her napkin onto the table, she ran out into the hallway.
Cramps immediately tackled my stomach, as her empty seat was all I could see. I was bewitched by the thing, unable to look away. The more I stared at it, the more it grated on my every nerve. It was the visual equivalent of nails down a chalkboard, and it made the room tilt. I swear, the floor physically rocked beneath me, like I was in an unbalanced rowboat, and someone had swapped sides and set it rocking and lurching. I could not stand it, and had to dig my fingernails into my thigh, hoping the pain would give me something to focus on rather than that chair.
But I couldn’t switch it off, nor could I look away. As beads of sweat formed on my forehead and neck, I actually thought I’d swap places, to sit around that side of the table so it would even the numbers up. I was planning it out in my head. Mary and Raul would have to move up, too, of course—girl, boy, boy would almost be as bad as the odd numbers. Yeah, Mary had to go in the middle of me and her brother.
No, that won’t work either. Shit!
On Charlie’s side of the table, it would be the opposite configuration. Another floor tilt had me grasping hold of my seat so I didn’t topple over. Think! Maybe I could ask my Aunt to move to Daisy’s spot, and I’ll take my Aunt’s place at the end of the table opposite my uncle. Yes, that would balance everything out. The light-headedness subsided a little with a solution formed.
Before I could execute my plan, Daisy skipped back into the room, leading a guy by the hand. She blushed as she introduced her boyfriend, Paulo. He was the same guy I saw her lip-locked with at the wedding. We all politely nodded at him, my aunt rushed to push another seat next to Daisy for Paulo.
As the guy apologized for not getting there sooner, a few minutes of chaos ensued while Mia searched for another place setting and hurriedly replaced the chair between Daisy and Raul, making everyone else scoot down. Meanwhile, Paulo recounted his trip through bad traffic and a series of unfortunate circumstances that conspired to make him late for dinner. But none of that mattered to me because when his rear hit the chair next to Daisy, my stomach stopped churning, and my heart beat slowed down. I could finally breathe again as the tantalizing aroma of the meal woke up my hunger.
I sensed Mia staring at me again. She grinned broadly, whispering, “You okay now?”
The smile I returned was genuine this time. “Yeah.” The crisis was over, order had been restored.
Later that night, we were all scattered around my aunt’s living room. Charlie hadn’t let go of Mia’s hand all night long. As I watched him laughing and joking with the rest of us—and even complimenting my Auntie on the meal in broken Spanish—it struck me how easily he fit into my close-knit Mexican family.
I expected Mom, for sure, would have had a coronary when she found out about Mia dating a blond-haired, non-Latino from Virginia, but she didn’t. Mom did cry after hearing the news they were getting married, and then again at the wedding itself, but even I could see they were happy tears.
Last month was a whirlwind, and I worked damn hard at keeping out of the way of my twin and the wedding plans, as well as Mia’s moving excitement. Luckily, I didn’t have to come up with an excuse to avoid Charlie, as his busy new schedule meant we naturally didn’t have time to hang out any more. With time, I guess Charlie and I will get closer again, though we’ll never be best friends any more. The day I found out he’d been sleeping with my sister put a rift between us that would never fully heal. He went behind my back, and he k
new how I felt about any man dating my sister, but he fucking did it, anyway. Once trust is broken, it can’t be fixed, no matter what rituals you invent to counter it.
But I think we can be friendly.
Even I can see how much Mia adores him, and, more importantly, I can see that Charlie worships her. For him, she is his sun, and I didn’t need to lecture the guy on treating her right, which Charlie was right about.
Some of our other cousins arrived after dinner, and every seat in the great room was taken. Dining room chairs were dragged in, and there were even people scattered all over the floor. Surprisingly, I could cope with the lack of formality in this gathering, as nothing is messing with my head. My OCD tendencies were back in the box, and I was feeling pretty relaxed.
The moment of distress at the table was forgotten, and I didn’t dwell on it. It’d probably crop up again in my dreams, but it’s overwhelming significance left me for the time being. I didn’t even count the guests crowded in the space, the need to know whether it was an odd or even amount wasn’t all-consuming… actually, it didn’t even matter.
That was the thing with my quirks, they waxed and waned. There were triggers, like the seating at the table, which had been with me since I was a small child, but on the whole, I had a good handle on them. They didn’t interfere with my life nor did they run it… well, not much anyway.
Shut Out: Contemporary Sport Romance (Hockey Boyz Book 3) Page 2