by A. J. Downey
I put my arms around him, the air of the room cool against my skin, his warmth so inviting, his arms going back around me, his opposite hand cradling my head, the other around my back as my breasts crushed flat against his chest and oh my, that was a sensation. My nipples teased by the crisp smattering of hair across his chest.
The hand not occupied with supporting my head found my ass and a handful of it. He kneaded the one cheek, fingers slipping up, under the leg of my panties to bypass the fabric and help himself to more of the feel of my skin. The sensation of his rough fingertips against such an intimate area unused to being touched made my eyes roll back in my head and I absolutely know how pathetic that sounds, but it had been so very long since I had been touched like this. Since I had been attractive to anyone, since anyone had wanted to take their time with me, relish me, as Fenris was doing now.
His hand slid along my ass and down the outside of my thigh and I twined my arms around his neck and lifted my leg, over his hip, around his leg, the material of his boxer briefs almost a satiny feel against my inner thigh.
My pussy ached to be filled, throbbing with desire. I couldn’t get close enough to him and I had to imagine he felt the same with the intensity with which he kissed me.
He turned, pivoting us so that my back was to the bed and he broke our fervent kissing and smiled faintly at me, lips red and blue eyes kind.
“You’re really good at that,” he said breathlessly, and I felt myself blush at the high praise. I mean, I don’t think I was anywhere near as experienced as him in that particular arena. Despite being married for as long as I had been, there wasn’t a whole lot of sex going on.
Of course, hindsight being twenty-twenty, I thought, but I didn’t get to think for long. Fenris brought his lips to the side of my neck, and all coherent thoughts fled before the shimmer of magic it sent through me, swept over me in a rush of violent tingling that made me weak in the knees.
“Lie back,” he practically growled against my throat and the deep, guttural sound of it made me tremor. The man was a walking orgasm waiting to happen, and I was happy to throw myself on his mercy. Either way, I was certain I would not be disappointed.
I laid back and he shucked himself out of his boxer briefs in one super sexy, fluid motion and the monster he freed was more than a little intimidating. He gave me a slow, sexy, and almost shy little grin, biting his bottom lip as my gaze roved over him hungrily and I watched him warily, almost.
Don’t get me wrong, I was very into the idea of being physical with him, even despite the fact his size was so intimidating, but that had always been the case. Fenris was a big man, it stood to reason all of him would be, ahem, in proportion.
“Hips up,” he ordered and I pressed my head and shoulders into the fur-covered bed and raised my hips up off of it obediently. He whisked my panties away just as efficiently as he had divested himself of his boxer shorts then kneeled down by the side of the bed.
He wrapped strong arms around my legs and pulled me bodily to the edge, the display of strength both startling and erotic, as I let out a slight yelp in surprise.
“By the gods, I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I first laid eyes on you,” he murmured, voice low and thrumming with the desire of a man who saw a personal victory in his grasp, and I wasn’t at all surprised to find that I wanted to be the one to hand him that victory.
He fixed his gaze upon mine, and whatever he saw in my eyes sealed the deal because with a grunt of satisfaction and a chuckle, he lowered his mouth to my pussy, and gaze still fixed on mine with the intensity of a predator that’d captured its prey, he tasted me for the first time.
Chapter Fourteen
Fenris…
She tasted like fresh autumn rains and the thin mountain air – crisp, and cool – but in taste only. She was hot to the touch, her pussy slick with arousal and perfuming the air with the delicate scent of her sex. It was so sensual, so organic and raw, and the only thing better was her reaction.
Her keen green eyes met mine without hesitation as she watched me both curiously and with trepidation. When my tongue parted her pussy lips and I teased her clit with the tip? That was enough for her to relax any tension or resistance her body held.
Her head dropped back and her hands tangled in the furs by her hips. I grasped her between my hands, delving them beneath her bottom to cradle her while I lapped at her pussy, feasting on her panting breaths, her little moans, and loving every twitch and writhing pleasure I dragged out of her.
I slid a finger in her and gave an “Mm” in appreciation. She was tight and I could only imagine if she felt this way around my middle finger, how she was going to feel around my cock.
She was dripping wet for me, her arousal turning me on even further as I felt around the roof of her pussy for that slightly rougher patch, knowing that yeah, I’d found exactly the right spot when she sucked in a sharp breath and her hips bucked. I lavished her clit with attention from my tongue and teased her from the inside simultaneously while her pussy put a stranglehold on my finger. I couldn’t wait for that same sensation around my dick, but it wasn’t about me right now, tonight… it was about shaking Aspen’s tree and seeing if I could loosen her up a little.
“Oh, my God!” she cried and sucked in a sharp breath. I fought to finish the job and not to smile just yet, not until I had her fucking coming all over my face. It didn’t take long, she cried out, stuffed the heel of her hand to quiet herself and practically convulsed on my bed, her pussy rhythmically gripping my finger, as I played things out, teasing her clit with my tongue, sucking in a deep breath of my own as her thighs clapped shut around my ears.
I didn’t let up until she begged me to stop and let me go. I stood slowly, sucking her essence off my fingers and looking down at the beautiful, shattered mess of her lying in my bed. I wondered if she wanted anymore or if I’d finished her with the one orgasm. She looked up at me, green eyes heavy lidded with satiation, her perfect tits rising and falling with her panting breaths and I loved that I could unmake her so thoroughly.
“You want this?” I asked, gripping my cock and stroking it lazily.
She nodded, unable to speak, and I smiled, feeling cocky.
“You sure?” I asked and she nodded again and reached for me. I went to her, crawling over the top of her, settling between her thighs. She pulled my mouth to hers, kissing me thoroughly, and I was thoroughly impressed. Some women didn’t dig making out after I’d just gone down on them. Aspen really didn’t care.
“You want me to fuck you?” I growled in her ear and her words slowed my ass way the hell down.
“I want you to love me,” she whispered back, and her voice was so brittle, so vulnerable, I pulled back to look her in the eyes.
There was something there in the glittering green depths of her eyes, the window down into her very soul… a profound weakness, a deep and abiding hurt, her self-esteem in a deeply crumbling and eroded ruin. A pain I couldn’t even begin to speak of.
She was a maiden who held her hand out to me, for the injured, wild animal inside me that’d had its foot in a trap for I don’t know how long. That hand promised an end to the hurt, promised to sooth the rage and pain I’d held inside for so long… too long.
“I can’t help but love you, baby,” I whispered and kissed her gently, taking my time to work my way inside her carefully, letting her body adjust to mine.
She whimpered slightly, and I stilled and asked softly, “Too much?”
She shook her head and answered back, “Not enough.”
Her arms went around my neck and I braced my forearms to the bed so I wouldn’t crush her as I glided through her wetness and barely kept control of myself when I fit myself all the way inside of her. I drew back slowly and surged forward carefully, striking a slower, gentler rhythm than I normally would have for my own satisfaction.
This wasn’t something that was meant to be rushed. No, Aspen was a woman meant to be savored.
I rolled my hi
ps slowly, deeply and she wrapped herself around me as best she could. It was work keeping up this pace, but worth it with every gasp I brought from her lips, swollen with my kiss; and likewise, with every one of her breathy exclamations of pleasure, I felt a small jolt of my own fulfillment.
Nothing left me feeling like more of a man than having my hands slicked with the blood of my enemy or turning a woman boneless beneath me with rapture and bliss.
With how unhappy Aspen had been, and with good reason, without a doubt the fact that she writhed like some goddess of sex and power beneath me right now made me feel on top of the world.
She was sinuous, all gracious curves and perfect grace. Her skin satin and silk, her pussy warm velvet where it gripped my cock as I slid myself with some effort in and out of her body, pressing for that spot. I delved my arm beneath her, raising her hips off the bed, driving into her rock steady, searching for her G-spot, determined to absolutely wreck her, to blow her fucking mind, to make her come so hard she left the earth behind.
She belonged among the stars. The crescent moon her throne, my beauty, my queen, and I would worship her until the end of all time if she would let me.
I’d never in my entire existence, up until now, felt this way about anybody. I couldn’t tell you why I felt this way about her. There was just something about her – beautifully broken on the inside, an echo of my own hurts. So brave, that she could mend, could heal from all of the shit she’d been through. She made me believe again. That if she could do it, so the fuck could I.
“Oh, God, Fen!” she cried and clung to me as I stroked just right. She held onto me, gripped me, worked me into a fervor that wouldn’t be contained.
“That’s it, baby,” I urged. “Tell me when you’re gonna come.”
“Close, I’m so close.” Her voice was breathy, beautiful, ethereal, the barest of breezes through the tall pines, and I loved it. I loved the sounds she made. I loved the feel of her. I loved how she arched, and how, as I brought her close and closer to that final shining plunge, she forgot to breathe altogether. I loved how her eyes closed, her head fell back, her mouth worked but no sound came out, how she cried, straining to get the words out, “Oh, God, I’m coming!” before she clenched around me so tightly, I couldn’t move an inch further inside her or withdraw.
I grunted as she dragged me into the maelstrom with her, even though I would have gone willingly, stayed by her side, cradled her beneath my body to protect her and give her the love that she so craved and that I craved, too.
I kissed her as we both drifted lazily in satisfaction, my cock softening inside her, glued together with our mutual passion for one another. I stroked her hair back from those hallowed green eyes and met her gaze with my own. I fell into her eyes; so far down.
She took my breath away, too.
An hour later, she lay sleeping against me, her head on my shoulder, her arm across my chest as I stared at the flickering candlelight on my ceiling and traced lazy, mindless patterns against her soft skin wherever I could reach it with the tip of my middle finger.
I felt satiated and guilty.
As though I had somehow stolen her innocence by making love to her.
If she only knew what kind of man I was, I don’t think she would have given of herself so freely.
The thought kept me awake, late into the night, her rhythmic breathing the thing to finally lull me into an uneasy slumber, plagued by the ghost of memory.
Chapter Fifteen
Aspen…
I woke, Fenris was still sleeping. I was languorous and knew I had work but it was Saturday and Amber’s full day. I wanted nothing more than to stay with him, so I allowed myself this one concession to my workaholic personality and sent Amber a text message. I asked if she felt confident holding down the fort on her own for today, and barely as soon as I sent it, my phone vibrated in my hand with the return message of yes, absolutely, it was about time I took a day off.
I smiled, ditched my phone on the bedside table, and cuddled up to Fenris, holding to him tightly. I fell back asleep, likely in desperate need of the rest, and when I woke, he was looking at me, his so-blue eyes roving my face and his lips curled into a surprising smile in the midst of his blond beard.
“You’re still here,” he said, and I smiled back.
“I am,” I agreed.
“What time is it?” he asked.
“Doesn’t matter,” I murmured. “I took the day off.”
“Three-day weekend?” he asked, and I nodded. He broke into a grin and turned on me, gathering me close and pressing his mouth to mine.
I laughed, delighted, against his mouth and he rolled me onto my back, settling between my thighs.
“Mm, maybe later?” I winced slightly.
“I hurt you?” he asked, pushing up off of me.
“Oh, no! Not at all, um, I just am feeling, well… less than fresh down there. I feel like I should take a shower or something before we go at it again.”
He looked bemused at me.
“The best sex is messy,” he said.
“Oh, I agree, but I really don’t like the idea of going again when I feel this sticky and gross. I mean…” I stopped as his expression grew more amused. “It doesn’t matter what I say, it’s all going to come out bad or wrong or whatever, isn’t it?” I asked.
He laughed a little and nodded, saying, “Uh, yeah, pretty much, but I get what you’re saying and it’s alright with me.”
“You promise?” I asked skeptically.
“I promise,” he said and leaned down for another kiss to prove his point.
“You want a bath or a shower?” he asked me, and I looked up at him and cocked my head slightly.
“Whichever you can share with me,” I answered.
“Shower it is. Don’t move. I’ll come back when it’s ready.”
“What?”
“Don’t question me, woman! Not when I’m trying to spoil you a little.”
I laughed and cuddled back into the warm bed listening to him grab towels out of the closet and get the shower started.
A nostalgia mixed with an unhealthy dose of sadness swept over and through me as I thought this was what it was supposed to be like in regard to my marriage. We were supposed to take care of each other, respect each other, and love one another. It was with a grim hindsight that I realized none of those things had been reciprocated by my ex. I had let him charm me, but the moment we had gotten married, that was it… he didn’t need to try anymore, and he didn’t.
It was never real. None of it had ever been real… I was simply his cover. I was simply a means to an end and that end was keeping him in the life he was accustomed to, getting him through college and well on his way and once that was accomplished? He quit and had just been going through the motions.
And to think, I had thought it’d been me – that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t anticipate his needs, or work hard enough to meet them, or that there was something wrong with me.
It wasn’t me, though. It was Charles… and it hurt on top of everything else but I was honestly just so emotionally exhausted, I couldn’t seem to muster up any anger. I just felt spent, drained; and I know how pathetic in some ways that made me but it was true.
Fenris was changing all of that, and I know that probably wasn’t exactly healthy either. My self-worth shouldn’t be dependent upon any man, but I wasn’t entirely sure it was like that with Fen. It was just nice to have someone interested in me, and if Fenris were this interested in me as I was right now, stripped absolutely bare, soul floating, tattered, wafting in the wind and barely clinging to what was left of me…
Well, I couldn’t wait for him to see what I could be like when I wasn’t so wrecked, when I didn’t feel so raw and bleeding, which I had to say, I was feeling much better after last night. So much more, I don’t know… present? Solid? Here?
He returned to me in a few short minutes, bending at the waist to kiss me, pulling the covers away from my body. He helped hi
mself to a handful of my chest, kneading my breast, massaging the ampleness of it and pinching the nipple between forefinger and thumb.
I moaned deeply into his mouth and he chuckled back into mine – the sound rich, the vibration decadent, the entire exchange sinfully delicious, like a slice of chocolate torte for dessert when you know you really shouldn’t.
“Come on, let’s get on with the day,” he said. “Feel like I should maybe give you a little break.”
He spanked my pussy lightly, sending a shock and a thrill through me and I let him pull me up and onto my feet, curling my bare toes into the fur rug at his bedside.
“Do you have to?” I squeaked and he laughed, head thrown back; a full-throated sound. I smiled, and he winked at me and led me across the hall to the bathroom which was steamy and inviting.
We made out in the shower like a pair of teens, his hands slick with my bodywash running all over me, washing me clean and turning me on. Likewise, I did the same for him, the sweet scent of my soap mingling with the earthy tones of his – not quite clashing, but definitely not very compatible. Mine smelled like a bright champagne, girly with a grapefruit finish. His smelled like rich earth, the forest after a rain, the loam on the ground turned up and fragrant with notes of cedar and musk.
I ran my hands over his muscular body, inked with tattoos of ancient knotwork and animals, over innumerable scars, slick and flat, tan of the relatively new and pale, pale white with age. Seams along ribs, gash marks and what I assumed had to be knife marks. Knicks and the like along his hands, rough with work and tears along his forearms.
“What are these?” I asked softly, finding my courage to ask.
“Fights, some,” he said with a sniff. “Others, accidents. Some from farm work.”
“This one?” I asked, running a fingertip along a tan line along his ribs, dotted to either side with punctures from stitches.
“Fight at one of our rallies over the summer,” he said. “Good fun.”