by Pua Ramona
I give him a head nod and put my wallet away. I don’t know how long I’ve been here because the next thing I know the place is packed. I took my last shot and decided to tip Mona, I mean she was pretty awesome and kept me company when her husband who is now my friend was talking to some of his customers. I grabbed my coat, but before I made it to the door I saw Mike walk inside looking like shit. I started walking toward the door when I hear Daniel yell, “Get the fuck out of my bar, Mike! I won’t tell you again!” I knew they hated this guy for their sister, but I was starting to wonder how bad he fucked up.
Mike looks past me and says “Daniel, I know I fucked up but I need to see her man.” Just hearing him ask for Sina made my blood boil, that dick had his time with her before she left. There’s another player in the game now that she’s back - he won't be slotting himself back into her world if I can help it. I take a deep breath and continue to make my way out listening to Daniel and Mike duke it out over Sina.
“You fucking broke her Mike, and after the bullshit I heard from Reese that you put her through this morning, you can go fuck yourself” Daniel growls at him. “If I catch you around her or if I catch wind that you’ve been asking for her, I swear to God I will find you and beat your ass” Daniel says. Mona reaches for Daniel and tells him to relax, but from the look on Daniel's face he was ready to rip this clown in pieces.
Mike shakes his head and says “I still love her D” and he leaves. I didn’t understand why, but I was beyond pissed off knowing that this motherfucker still wanted Sina. I didn’t know how to handle the fierce protectiveness that came with the arrival of Sina, or why I wanted to end any man who came near her. Deciding I wasn't quite ready to leave after all, I made my way back to the bar and ordered a few more shots, staying at The Hut until closing time. I guess I was drunk off my ass because Reese was standing in front of me looking like he was ready to kill me.
“Sup Reese! We didn’t know where to take this guy so we brought him here” Daniel says.
Reese reaches for my arm and says “Thanks man for making sure he made it home safe.”
The door opens wider and I see Lei step out. “Hmm, Eli, you need to get your shit together. We are not going to keep doing this shit, you’re a grown-ass man” she snaps. “Where the hell is Becca?” she asks.
Before I can answer Mona steps in and tells her, “That skank left after Eli dumped her”
Lei looks at me and shakes her head “Yeah we’ll see how long he stays away from her.” The tone of Lei’s voice was starting to fucking piss me off.
“Look if it’s bothering you that I’m here just fucking tell me. I don’t need this shit” I snap at Lei. I know I’ve fucked up because she steps back with tears in her eyes.
“Thanks for dropping him off,” Lei tells them before she walks back inside.
I thank Daniel and Mona and Reese drags my ass to the extra bedroom. “Look Eli, you can talk shit to me, but don’t ever talk to Leila like that again. Do you fucking understand me?” he snaps.
I’m too ashamed to look at him so I say “Yeah man.” Get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning, I start to talk but the door slams shut, and I know Reese is pissed off at me.
I woke up the next morning with a shitty headache “Fuck” I mumble.
“Here’s some aspirin and a water bottle. Take it then go wash your ass, Leila stopped by your place for some clothes so they’re in the bathroom” Reese tells me.
I get up and I say “I’m a piece of shit man. I’m sorry”
Reese nudges my shoulder and says, “It’s cool just don’t do that shit again. And you better apologize to Leila, you really hurt her feelings dude.”
I grab the back of my neck and tell him that I would after I’ve showered and got my shit straight.
I get to the kitchen and see that Lei is making cupcakes, I walk right up to her and pick her up and hug her “I love you Lei and I’m an asshole”
She hugs me back and says “I only want what’s best for you. And I love you too Eli.” I put her down and she hands me a cup of coffee “Drink” she tells me.
I take the travel mug and I pull one of the stools out “Where’s Reese?” I ask.
“He left while you were in the shower. He’s meeting up with the Peterson boys to work on the bookshelf” she says.
I put down my cup and ask “Why do I feel like I’m being tossed to the side Lei?”
She looks at me and she starts laughing hard “Eli, if you want to go help just go” she says.
I stand up and kiss her on her forehead “Nah, I’m heading home then I’m going to the office” I tell her.
She stops me and she tells me “I know you and Becca have been on and off for a few years now Eli, but could you please not have sex with her at the office again? That’s all I’m asking” she says. “If you choose to be with her that’s fine and your business, but I’ll never try to be her friend. I don’t like her and I don’t trust her.” I know Lei means what she said because I could see it in her eyes. I lean down and kiss her forehead and leave to go back to my place to change and grab my charger.
I make it to my place and I see Becca’s car parked in my parking spot “What the fuck is she doing here?” I say to nobody. I put my truck in park and get out, before I even make it to the front door, she comes running toward me, jumping and wrapping her legs around my waist.
“I missed you baby,” she says. I open my mouth to tell her to get off me but she slams her mouth on mine and kisses me. As I’m trying to move her off me, she starts rubbing herself on me. I try not to think about sex, but it’s hard when she’s fucking me through her panties and my jeans.
I grab her ass walk towards house and slam her against the garage door “You want me to fuck you? Is that why you’re here Becca?” I ask her. She moans in my ear and that’s all it takes for me to unzip my pants, I move her wet panties to the side and I fuck her hard and fast. I’m fucking her so damn hard that she starts to moan louder, so I slam my mouth on hers to shut her up and I keep fucking her. She’s like a drug I cant say no to, despite how much I know I’m over her shit, something in her twisted soul calls to the darker part of me and its just sex right? I cant keep doing this back and forth bullshit with her, this needs to be the last time i give in to her.
“I’m going to come Baby'' she moans, I move my right hand between her legs and I start rubbing on her clit. I feel her tightening around my dick and I slam inside of her a few more times. I pull out quickly and I fucking come all over her pussy and her thighs. “Oh my god, that was sexy as hell Baby” she moans. I let her legs go so she can fix her clothes and sort her shit out.
Behind me I hear someone clear their throat and say, “Hey Eli, you forgot your wallet in Daniel’s car so he asked me to drop it off” the voice belongs to Mona. “I see your friend Leila wasn’t lying when she said you couldn’t stay away from trash,” she snaps at me with a disgusted look on her face.
Becca steps next to me and takes my hand. “Fuck you bitch” she says to Mona. I zip my pants up quick and just when I turn around Mona throws a quick right hook and it hits Becca right in the cheek.
“Yeah, I got your bitch ho,” Mona snaps at Becca.
I see her trying to throw another punch but I hear someone yell “Mona stop!” But Mona is still trying to get another hit in. “Mona, I said stop.” And my stomach drops when Sina steps in front of her sister in law and holds her hand.
Mona looks down at Sina and says “Fuck that, Sis. That bitch had it coming, if it isn’t me beating her ass, then it’ll be someone else.”
Sina shakes her head and tells her “Then it won’t be you Mona. She’s not worth it” she steps back and the way she was looking at me was as if I wasn’t anyone worth her time. She grabs my wallet from Mona, she takes a couple of steps toward me and I couldn’t get myself to breathe. She hands me my wallet and I swear from the way she was looking at me somehow made me feel dirty. I hated myself for not having control when it comes to my dick, I hate
d myself for letting Becca back in, and I hated myself because I knew Becca standing right next to me was killing Sina. I wanted to grab her and just hug her, I wanted to tell her that I was sorry. But sorry for what? She doesn’t mean anything to me, right? But none of that doesn’t matter because I was still fucking sorry. She takes a few steps back, grabs Mona’s hand and they both walk back to the car.
I hear Mona ask, “Sis, are you okay?”
Sina looks up at her and says “ I’m just tired Mona.”
Mona pulls her in for a hug and before she gets in the car she looks over to me and Becca and she shouts “Trash will always be trash” with both of her middle fingers up.
I hear Becca say something back but I don’t give two shits because when the car drove off all I saw was Sina slumped in the passenger side while she held onto her chest. And I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but I knew her seeing Becca was too much for her. Becca laces her fingers through mine and starts pulling me to the front door. I stopped and pulled my hand away from her and because I wanted to know why, so I asked her “Why do you hate Sina so much?”
Becca’s gives me this shit eating grin and says “Because she has everything. Everyone fucking loves her, I never understood why ‘because she was boring. She’s a good girl, I never knew why Michael stayed with her for so long” she says. Then she continues on by saying “I only hung out with her ‘because I wanted Michael back in high school.”
I stand there with both of my hands behind my head. “But you were her best friend, right?” I ask her.
Becca looks at me and says “I was never her best friend, I only used her to get close to Michael. And a couple of days after graduation Michael broke it off with me because he found out that Sina left his ass here.” I couldn’t believe how she was okay being a shitty-ass person. Was she seeing Mike behind Sinas back before she left? I’ve always tried to see the good in Becca, but this was pushing it too far. “Can we go inside now babe? I’m ready for round two” she says.
She grabs my hand but I drop hers and I tell her to leave.
“You got to be fucking kidding me Eli? Are you serious?” she whines.
I look at her and tell her again that “This us thing, can’t, I mean won’t happen again. Do you understand me Becca?”
She grabs her purse and I didn’t even see it coming but she slaps me right across my face and starts screaming “Go fuck yourself Eli. I hate you. I am done with your sorry ass” I watched her get in her car and she flips me off before she drives off. I stood there thinking how the fuck am I supposed to fix this shit with Sina? I threw my head back and knew that I had no chance at all with my girl. I blew out a breath and let myself inside because I needed another shower. I needed to wash Becca’s smell off me.
Chapter Five
Sina
I’m sitting quietly with my head on the window lost in my thoughts when Mona reaches over and punches me in the arm “Cheer up buttercup. Lava ga kagi, Sis”, she tells me to stop crying with a sad smile.
I smile at her, “I’m okay Mona, I just need to get through this week so Emma and I can head back home.”
She gives me a sad look and says, “Washington is your home Sina not New York.”
“I just want to go home, Mona, where it hurts less.” Mona doesn’t say anything else and the rest of the drive to Mama’s is quiet. We pull up to the house and I see Emma wrestling with her Uncle Micah who’s the youngest of my brothers.
as we climb out of the car Mona says, “You coming to The Hut tonight Sis? It’s open mic night and we all know you love open mic.”
“We’ll see.” I tell her, not knowing how I’ll feel in the next five minutes, never mind tonight.
Mona rolls her eyes at me, trying to entice me to say yes to her invitation. “Why don’t you ask Leila if she wants to come out? I heard you ran into her at her bookstore yesterday. That way you’ll have someone to come with? Please sister of mine?” She fake begs and I shake my head at her, waving her antics off. I turn to see where Emma has disappeared to and I get tackled by Luka.
“Are you serious?” Getting up and dusting myself off, “you’re such a dick.” I tell Luka trying to keep a stern frown and not snort at his stupidness, but all he does is laugh his ass off. Asshole brothers. I stand there being fake mad at him and kick him in the shin for good measure before snorting and arching my brow in victory. Ha, take that you little shit.
“What the fuck, Sina? That shit fucking hurts,” he whines.
“Luka Viliamu Peterson, Watch your damn mouth. I don’t care how old you are, I’ll still kick your ass,” Mama says through the screen door. “And Sina, you watch your mouth too,” she yells. We both look at each other and we start laughing again.
Luka pulls me in for a hug and says, “Happy birthday, nerd”, and kisses my forehead.
I hug him tighter, “I love you, Luka.”
“I love you more, Sis” and he clamps down tighter with his arms around my back.
I’m trying to wriggle out of the hug when I hear my Daniel and Micah behind me, sandwiching me between the three of them and breaking out into the birthday song. I’m laughing and enjoying the childishness for what it is, feeling loved and safe nestled between my brothers. They put me back down and I turn to Daniel first, embracing him in a hug of my own. “I love you D, thank you.”
Then Micah gives me a bear hug and he wishes me a happy birthday “I love you little big sis. I’m glad you’re home for your birthday.”
I do everything I can to not cry, so I hug him harder and hide my face in his chest.
“Okay, it’s my turn. Move damn it” I hear my sister push her way through the boys. “Happy birthday Sister. Thank you for coming home, I really missed you” she cries. I swap Micahs arms for hers and hold her a little longer cause she’s my favorite sister ever. Well she was my only sister but we don’t tell her that. She frees me from her embrace and tells me that she has to go back to work. “I promise we’ll spend more time together this weekend Sis. I have the whole weekend off to spend with you” she tells me happily. Kissing me on the cheek before she leaves for work, she winks at me and says, “Oh and I left you something on your bed. You can thank me later Snatch”
“Happy Birthday sweet girl” Mama says, pulling my attention to her as she folds me into her chest for a hug. This time there's no holding it in and I cry, again. What the heck? Maybe my period is starting? “I love you with all my heart, and I wish you nothing but love with a full heart of happiness my Masina'' she says as she hands me an envelope that has my name on it. I already know she’s giving me money, and I appreciate it but hate taking it from her at the same time. “Just a little something for a rainy day.”
I look at her and say “Yes ma’am” and she disappears back into the house to help the rest of the aunties cook for the weekend.
“Happy birthday Mama” I bend down and scoop the love of my life into my arms.
“Thank you, baby girl. I love you so much” I whisper to her.
She squeezes her little arms around my neck and whispers back, “Mama, I got you a present.” I put her back down and she hands me a little woven bag.
“Thank you, my sweet girl” I gush, pulling her in for another hug.
“Open it Mama! Open it !” Laughing at her insistence, I reach into the bag and find homemade coupons which I love instantly. There is also a necklace with half a heart that has ‘Best’ stamped on it. She grabs my hand and says “I have the other half Mama.” She pulls her half out from under her shirt and shows me where it has ‘Friends’ stamped on it. “ Now we both own half of each other’s heart.”
I drop the bag to the ground and I envelope my baby girl in my arms. “I love you so much Emma, don’t ever forget that” she looks at me and nods her head. I hear my mother calling for Emma, so I set her down and watch as she takes off running inside.
“We have a surprise for you Sis,” Luka says.
I look at all th
ree of them and I say “I swear if you guys are pranking me I’m going to be so upset with you all.” They laugh and tell me to follow them.
We walk over to the garage and Daniel says “You got to close your eyes now.”
I back away as I say, “Hell no. As if I’m doing that!”
Grabbing my arm, he says, “I swear Sis, it’s not a prank.”
I believe him because I can see the emotion filling his eyes. I give in, taking his hand and closing my eyes. As we walk through the garage doors I can smell fresh wood.
“Okay Sis are you ready?” Micah says from somewhere on my right.
I take a deep breath. “Yes, I’m ready”
Daniel moves his hand from mine and I open my eyes. Before me is the most beautiful handmade bookcase I have ever seen. I start crying… again. Ugh dammit.
“Surprise!” They all say and I look at my three brothers and sob, happy and a little bit of sad tears.
“Oh my goodness, how did you guys even make it look so brand new” I ask. They all look at me and start laughing.
“We had a lot of help,” Luka admits.
I’m staring at my bookcase again when Reese and Leila walk in. “Happy Birthday!” Leila screams as she runs and hugs me super hard. “Happy Birthday, Sina. I got you some goodies!” I can’t believe that Reese and Leila are here just for me.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart” Reese says and I hug him so tight that Leila says, “You’re killing my man, girl.”
Stepping back and trying to get some control over my emotions, I say, “I’m sorry Reese” feeling my face get all warm.
“Reese helped us with your bookcase” says Daniel. I look over to where Reese is now wrapped around Leila.
“Go look at it Sis” Micah says, pushing me towards it at the same time. I walk to my bookcase and take a closer look at the woodwork. I have never seen anything so outstanding in my whole life, the designs carved into boards are our father’s family tattoo design. The boys know how precious my books are, and how close they make me feel to Dad. Having a part of him on the shelves they live on lights a fire in my heart as I picture the titles stacked up against his artwork.