by Pua Ramona
I kiss the top of her head and say, “Maybe you should tell her that, Becca.”
“But I’m scared that she might not forgive me this time,” she says, “I was a bitch at The Hut because everyone was there for her and I was jealous, again.”
I hug her tighter and say, “We both know that she’s probably the most honest and genuine person, and I’m sure she’s already forgiven you for being an asshole.”
Becca’s quiet for a second and says “I miss her so much,” and I believe her because once you have someone like Sina in your life, it’s hard to just let her go and I know that it’s Becca’s time to grow as a person, and that she wants Sina back in her life badly. We sit here until Becca’s ready to leave.
Becca: I took three home pregnancy tests when I got home last night…. I’m pregnant! I made an appointment so I’ll be able to see a doctor on Monday at 12 noon. If you can’t make it, I won’t be upset I’ll just text you when I’m done.
Me: I’ll be there just let me know which clinic.
Becca: Okay.
Me: Thank you, Becca.
Becca: No. Thank you, Eli. See you tomorrow.
I sit in my truck and I fucking cry. I’m going to be a father to a baby who isn’t Sina’s and it kills me, but I can’t hate Becca for being the one to carry my baby. It isn’t her fault. I don’t know how long I sit here for, but someone knocks on my window and I look up to see Mama standing next to the door of my truck.
She opens my door and says, “Come on Baby. Let’s go inside.” She holds my hand until we make it inside and asks “Am I going to be a grandma?” I’m not surprised that she knows, Reese is like a brother to me and he treats Mama like she’s his own. He would have called her last night and told her what had happened with Becca.
I can’t look at her so I keep my head down and say, “Yes ma’am.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Becca has an appointment on Monday and I told her I’d meet her there” I say.
I see tears in Mama’s eyes as she says,“Congratulations son.” She pulls me in so she can hug me and all I can think about is that Sina will be flying back to New York the day of this appointment and she’ll be out of my life completely.
“Are we still going to the Petersons?” she asks.
I want to say no, but I know I have to talk to Sina so I say “Yeah. She invited us and I don’t want to cancel on her last minute.”
Mama looks at me and says, “You’re a good man son, you just have to believe that now.” I’m not sure what to say so I just stand there feeling stuck. I know I fucked up somewhere in a past life because reality is kicking my ass and making me pay for all my bullshit. As fucked up this whole situation is, I am happy that I’m going to be a father and that’s enough to hold me together for now.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sina
“I can’t wait to hear what Auntie Lupe has to say about us being late” Megan says. Of course we were already an hour late to the park. This is what I get for listening to my sister, it never fails you’d think I would know by now to not listen to her, but she swore she was dying from starvation so we stopped at Jack’s for burgers, fries, and a chocolate shake. Yeah, so what? I didn’t have time to eat breakfast so I grabbed a snack as well.
“Remind me to never listen to you ever again.”
She chuckles, “Pshh! Please, ask me if I give a shit that we’re late? Nope. Not this girl. Auntie Lupe is always bitching about something. If it’s not us, then it’ll be someone else. I mean, that evil lady forgets that we’re fucking adults with our own kids. So she can have a can of shut the hell up” she says a little irritated. I shake my head and laugh along with her because it’s the truth. “Did you know that she’s the one who told the whole church why you left, and that you were pregnant?” she asks.
I roll my eyes and say, “Yeah, I found out about it when June Bug called me and it pissed me off that he was apologizing for his mom’s bullshit.” I feel my chest getting tight and my breathing starts to get all crazy
“Relax Sis. Don’t let her get to you like that. I know it’s easier said than done, but she’s always been like that. Remember when she tried shaming mom about how she’s full Samoan, but doesn’t speak the language? Then thought she was hot shit when she told dad that he should’ve married a woman who knew the Fa’asamoa way? Yeah. I can’t stand her, but she’s still Daddy’s sister,” she says.
I shake my head. “Right! Why do you think I always left the house when she would come over to see daddy? She used to sit by Daddy and ask him about the house, and Grandpa’s land back home in the islands. I would get so angry because she made it seem like Daddy owed her something, when she’s the one that’s been taking from him.” I feel myself getting angry all over again. “Then when Daddy passed away she had the nerve to tell Mom that she’ll speak for the family. Ugh, I can’t stand her Megan, I really fucking can’t.”
I feel my sister pat my leg, “I know Sis. Which is why we’re going to give her a hard time when we get there,” she says.
“What if Uncle Niko’s there, then what?” I snort at her.
“Then we wait for Uncle to act busy with the other uncles and we bug the shit out of her'' she says laughing. “Do you think the twins are going to be there?”
“I don’t know, last time I heard from June-Bug he said that they were” I say. We are probably fifteen minutes away from the park and I’m dreading it already.
“Are you going to be okay when you see Eli?” Megan asks.
I take a breath and say, “Yeah. I’ll be okay. I can’t make it awkward, especially if he’s going to be a dad.” I hear my sister take a deep breath and calm herself.
“Truth? I honestly thought you guys were going to be a couple after that night. I mean, I was so sure of it, the way he was looking at you and then how both of you were just being lovey dovey. I can’t believe how off I was.”
I thought the same thing, but sometimes we feel so much with our hearts that we believe that it’ll happen then it doesn’t. I turn into the parking lot and sigh, before we get out I stop my sister and say, “I’m okay Megan, I promise. So, please don’t feel like you have to save me if things get too weird or intense with whoever. Okay?”
She huffs and puffs then looks at me and says, “I promise. But if Auntie Lupe tries to fa’ama you in front of everyone I’m going to say something.”
I shake my head and say, “Fine.”
She gets out of the car and parrots at me, “Fine” slamming the door like the brat that she is. But, she’s my brat and I love her.
“Damn, it took you guys that long to get here from the house, huh”, Luka says.
Megan and I both roll our eyes and I say, “The schedule specifically said nine a.m. Island time” I look down at my watch and say, “And now it's ten a.m. Everyone knows Island time means be here an hour later, so excuse your face time police.”
Megan starts laughing hard and says “Ahh!! Good one, Sis.”
Of course to irritate our brother some more I look at Luka, smile, and say, “We stopped at Jack’s to eat then we came here.”
He gives us this ‘and you didn’t bring any’ look and says, “I hope you shit yourselves, you stingy asses.” Megan and I look at each other and laugh hard. I’m not sure how long we laugh for, but we stop as we hear a ‘nail across the board / screeching cat sound’.
“Amuia tamaiti palagi. A tuai mai, e leai se mea iai” Auntie Lupe says. Oh, she pretty much just called us white kids who show up late and it’s okay, because it’s nothing.
Ugh, I just want to poke her eyes out, “Hi Auntie Lupe.”
She looks at me as if my breathing is bothering her and continues to say, “Sina, you got fat. Goodness, kau ku’u lou ai. Va’ai ua e lapo’a lava. You’ll never find a husband looking like that.” She starts laughing like she just told the funniest freaking joke ever instead of telling me I needed to stop eating. “Oh and here put this ie lavalva on ‘cause your butt is too big.
Show some respect” she says smugly.
I’m ready to punch her ass out, but I hear Uncle Niko cut her off “Lupe, lava. Ua uma ga ou fai aku e ku’u keige ua makukua.” Uncle Niko comes to the rescue, telling her to leave us alone and that we are grown women now. I will never understand why he married her, but they did say that the opposite attracts, right?
Aunty Lupe gives him a dirty look and says, “Someone has to put them in their place, their mother can’t even do it.”
Just as I am about to call her out, someone tackles me from behind and yells “Sina Bo-Bina!”
I hear Megan yell, “June-Bug!” And she jumps on his back while he’s bear hugging me at the same time.
He looks over his shoulder and says “Meggie Wedgie'' and my sister starts laughing
“Stop calling me that ugh.” The evil skank that is Aunty Lupe is forgotten because all our attention is now on June-Bug who’s our best cousin. I mean, he’s that cousin you can trust with your life and all your secrets. I know this, because he knows all my secrets, except for one.
Megan jumps off his back while he puts me down he turns to her and hugs her “Missed you cousin” he says.
I watch her hug him harder as she says, “I’ve missed you more. I’m so glad you made it.”
He smiles at her, “I saw Collins and the boys, they’re so big now. And I’m mad that he’s still married to you.”
They both laugh at each other as she says, “Oh shut up, he thinks I’m pretty, dickhead.”
“I’m going to go say hi to everyone and check on my hubby and kids'' she says, her eyes trying to pick them out in the crowd of family that's arrived.
I smile at her and say “Okay. I’ll come find you guys in a little while.”
She looks at me and then looks at June-Bug “You better keep her away from your mom June-Buggy.”
He hugs her one more time and tells her “I got you Meggie.”
We watch her walk off to find her family and before I can say anything June-Bug hugs me again, this time for a little longer.
“I missed you Bina'' he says.
I hug him tighter and say, “I freaking missed you so damn much.”
“Come on let’s go sit, I need some gossip in my life”, he says as he takes a few steps back.
I laugh at him and say, “I have absolutely no gossip June Bug”
He looks at me with an arched brow and says, “Girl, please miss me with that. I heard rumors and I want them to all be true.”
“Some things never change here.” I say as I shake my head.
He laughs, “Honey, what have I told you about this town? Stop expecting so much, most of the people who still live here thrive on that bullshit. So cut that shit out.”
June-Bug is a big boy who likes hot boys and is no stranger to the rumors and gossip that happen around here. My parents pretty much raised him when we were growing up, because after he announced that he was gay, some people acted like it was the end of the world. Auntie Lupe couldn’t handle the gossip and stress so she asked our parents to take him for a little bit. June-Bug ended up staying with us until he graduated from high school and moved out on his own. When he left he made sure it was with a bang, and that was with his boyfriend Mark, who he’s still with now. So yes, he was the one who always kept us safe when it came to his Mama. He doesn’t hate her, he acknowledges her, but still calls our mother ‘Mama’. And Mama knows Auntie Lupe hates it, but she loves him just as if she gave birth to him. So he’s our brother even though we came from different parents. June-Bug is ours and we love him.
We walk over to an empty bench and sit quietly for a few minutes. “How have you been Bina?” he asks.
“I’m finding my way, but I’m doing okay.” I tell him.
He smiles at me and says, “You look beautiful.”
“Well, your Mama thinks differently.” I snigger because it was literally less than 10 minutes ago that she was calling my ass fat in front of everyone.
He rolls his eyes, “Girl, she's just jealous because she can only fit in elastic wear.”
I nudge him and say, “Be nice, don’t say that, she’s still your Mama.”
June-Bug gives me a look and says, “Check that shit Bina. Your Mama is my Mama. Plus, didn’t she just call you fat and tell you to stop eating too much? And that you aren’t ever going to find a man? Mhm, that’s what I thought heffa. Now, enough about Kurela fefela, catch me up on your gossip.”
I look at him and brace myself, “What exactly did you hear?”
He snaps his lips, rolls his eyes then says. “I heard a shit load Bina. And most of it was from Lupe’s mouth.”
“What?!” I say. Great, the last thing I need is Aunty Lupe sticking her beak into my business.
He looks at me and says, “She works with Becca’s Mama, so you know that bitch was popping her gums about you.”
I take a deep breath and say, “I figured it was going to get out somehow so I’m not too surprised. But I didn't know your mom and Becca’s mother were close.”
June-Bug looks over my shoulder and says, “Don’t flip out okay?”
“You can’t say that and expect me to not flip out now?!” I say panicking about what’s made June Bug’s eyes blow so wide.
“No for real, I’m about to tell you something and you have to swear you’ll stay calm Bina, like no joke” he says.
I take a deep breath and ask, “What is it June-Bug?”
He leans in and whispers “Michael’s here.” I turn to see if he’s being serious and sure enough there he is standing next to Auntie Lupe.
“Why the hell would she do that?” I ask.
June-Bug kisses the top of my head as he says “It’s fine love, I’m about to go handle this shit real quick”, as he walks off.
See, leave it up to Auntie Lupe to start up some shit. It’s almost like she gets off on doing evil shit like this. My chest starts aching. I see Michael looking at me and I feel my eyes start to sting. I look away from him, trying to hold myself together.
“I don’t know why you’re here, but I know who invited you and I really don’t give a damn. You need to leave right now” I hear Micah’s voice carry and he looks ready to go off at Michael.
“I invited him Micah, so stop,” Auntie Lupe says.
“Of course you did, Lupe. You never fail do you? You always make sure that every family reunion goes to shit because you’re so damn miserable with your life that you need to stir shit up in other peoples’. Fefe ia oe ma lou le ma” Micah says.
“Don’t you disrespect me Micah” Auntie Lupe says with an indignant tone.
Micah shakes his head at her and says “Respect you? Are you serious right now? This coming from someone who’s never shown my parents the damn respect that they deserved.”
I don’t want my brother to say anything else that he might regret later so I walk over and step in saying, “Micah it’s fine.”
“You need to leave,” Luka says from behind me with so much hate.
I turn and find Daniel, Mona, June-Bug and Megan standing behind us. I look over at Michael and I feel bad for him because he looks like he’s about to either throw up or shit his pants.
“It’s okay. I’ll walk him to his car.” I tell my siblings, who are all still standing ready to go to battle for me.
“Sina,” they all said at the same time.
I smile at them “I promise I’ll be okay. This talk needs to happen anyways, so it’s okay.”
Luka looks over to Auntie Lupe and says, “If you’re going to start shit, then you need to leave, now.”
I look at Luka and in shock. I've never heard him speak to an elder this way. He shakes his head at me and says “No! She’s been doing this shit too damn long and I’m done with it. I’m sorry Auntie Lupe, I love you ‘cause you’re Dad’s sister, but I will not stand here and allow you to tear my family down, so you can leave.”
“Luka, that’s enough” Mama says as she appears from nowhere. I look over to where she’s standi
ng and realize that everyone is now watching this whole clown show go down. Great.
“Mama” Luka says.
Mama shakes her head no and looks over at Lupe. “I don’t know what I did or said to make you feel so much hate toward me, but I will not stand here and allow you to make any of my kids uncomfortable Lupe. I love my husband’s family with everything that I am, but I’m asking you to leave right now.”
It almost feels like Daddy is here because the air and vibe around us is nothing but calm. Auntie Lupe’s face is red splotchy and before she starts talking Uncle Niko walks over to Mama and hugs her goodbye.
“No hard feelings Rita”, he says and then walks over to the table to grab Auntie Lupe’s bags.
“Put my things down” Auntie Lupe growls.
Uncle Niko gives her a hard look “No! Grab your purse. We are leaving Lupe. See what happens when you always run that hole in your face? Ova lou fia kagaka. Let’s go!” he snaps. Everyone remains quiet and shocked, because Uncle Niko is usually a quiet, laid back person.
I’m sure she stomps her feet as she turns to look at Mama and says, “You were never good enough for my brother and you will never belong in this family.” She grabs her purse and walks to the parking lot.
Uncle Niko takes a deep breath and makes his way to where I’m standing. “Sina, I’m sorry about your auntie. I’ll have a talk with her when we get home, but I want you to keep doing what you’re doing, ua iloa? You didn’t do anything wrong, you just grew up.” He pulls me in for a hug.
“I love you Uncle Niko, and thank you.” I say into his shoulder.
He hugs me for a couple of more seconds then starts walking to the car “Go have fun! The old man and old lady are falling asleep under that tree.” We turn to see what he’s pointing at and we see Grandpa Tali playing the guitar and Daddy’s other sister Claire singing with him. I feel my heart smile, because that’s something they always did with Daddy and it makes me wish that he was here right now with us. Everyone that showed up for our family reunion says their goodbyes to Uncle Niko and makes their way to where Grandpa and Aunty Claire are sitting. We stand and watch as Lupe and Niko drive away.