by Pua Ramona
“Did you bring it?” I ask.
She pulls an old notebook out of her purse that's covered in stickers, hearts, and scribbles and says, “I sure did.”
“How did you get it?” I ask her, my eyes going wide as I look at it.
She smiles, “I used to wake up crying from bad dreams as a kid. I was about eight years old and Sina was fourteen, she gave it to me and said if I ever needed a good laugh to read her notebook. She wrote so much in here. She told me that some were her dreams, and some were about what she wished for.”
I’m flipping through her notebook and something catches my attention. “She was fourteen when she wrote this?” I ask.
“She was writing before that, but she was fourteen when she started writing about what she wanted when she grew up.” The little things I’m learning about her makes my heart warm. I smile.
“Dear God,
When I grow up I want to marry the man who will
love me the way Daddy does. Not like a daughter,
because that’s gross, but as his wife. And I promise
I will love him with my heart.
Thank you,
Love Sina.”
I feel a little pinch in my heart, but it’s a good kind of pinch. “Am I crazy for wanting to marry after only knowing her for a short time?” I ask Megan.
“Nope! After everything you guys have been through, and the way you both feel about each other it’s only right that you guys get married. Think about it this way, if you didn’t plan on marrying my sister you wouldn’t have gone through all the drama for her. Same goes for my sister. She could’ve chosen Marino because he would’ve been a safe and easy choice. But she didn’t, she chose you even when she knew you were the hardest person to love. You treated her like shit, but she didn’t let that stop her from choosing you. She fell for you. So no, I don’t think you’re crazy, just vagina whipped and in love.”
I got lucky with this family. I throw my arm around Megan’s shoulder and say, “You know I love you right?”
She elbows me in the ribs. “Duh! But if you hurt my sister again, I will kill you.” I kiss the top of her head.
“You have my word.” I vow to her.
She chuckles. “You know, Sina wrote about how she’d want her future husband to propose there.”
I look at her and say, “Why didn’t you tell me that sooner you shithead?”
She rolls her eyes and snarks, “Because you were too busy being insecure about asking her to marry you.”
Oh, right. I hand her that notebook back. “Find it please?” I ask and I give her my best sad face.
She snatches it. “You owe me big time for this.” She says and I make a mental note to book her and her hubby tickets to the Bahamas, it’ll be a Christmas gift for my favorite sister in law.
“Ha! Here it is.” She bounces on the balls of her feet.
I stop and read it. Damn. I really fucking love her. “We’ve got five hours to pull this off. Can I count on you to help me get it done?” I ask.
She grins at me and says, “Hell to the fucking yeah you can.”
“You seriously shouldn’t say shit like that.” I say both mortified and humored at the same time.
She cringes, “I know, sorry!” We both pull out our phones. It’s time to make Sina’s dream come true. A perfect proposal for my girl.
Chapter Seventy-Six
Sina
Me: Do you need me to pick up dinner for you and Emma?
My love: We already ate. What time do you think you’ll be home?
Me: Our mom’s wanted to paint, so we’re here at the Paint & Wine place. In an hour?
My love: Are you drinking?
Me: No silly! I’m driving.
My love: Okay good. See you in an hour?
Me: Hour it is.
My love: I miss you!
Me: I miss you more!!
My love: I love you!
Me: Sigh. I love you more!!
My love: See you when you get home!
Home. Sigh. He owns me, and I love him.
“Thank you for spending the day with us,” Mama says.
“I had so much fun, thank you for including me.” I really did have an amazing time. I’m starting to think that they’re more fun than me.
“Did you have to pick anything up before we drop you off?” asks Mama Hunter.
I smile, “No, Eli and Emma already had dinner so we’re good.”
Mama Hunter's phone starts buzzing and she laughs. “We take you for a few hours, and my son is demanding that we bring you home now.” I blush.
“That boy really loves you and Emma,” Mama says.
“We love him just as much.” I tell her.
“Have you thought about moving back home for good?” Mama Hunter asks.
I take a deep breath. “I have thought about it, but I don’t want to pressure Eli in any way.”
Mama Hunter’s phone starts buzzing again. “Well, your mama and I think you should stay. This is your home.” I sigh at them both and smile.
“I’ll talk to Eli when I get home.” But if he doesn’t ask me to stay, I can’t go back to being his girlfriend and I’ll have to go back home to New York.
Chapter Seventy-Seven
Eli
Me: How far are you guys?
Mama: About ten minutes away.
Me: Mama, I’m scared.
Mama: Don’t be, she was made just for you son!
Me: I love her so much.
Mama: Something tells me that she loves you more than you’ll ever know.
Me: Wish me luck.
Mama: You don’t need it!
Me: I love you Mama.
Mama: I love you too my son.
“They’re ten minutes away,” I say. Fuck, I’m so nervous I think I might throw up.
“You ready man?” Reese asks.
“I’ve never been more ready bro.” I say struggling to stay still because I’m on fire with nerves.
He chuckles and says, “This has been a crazy ass ride huh?”
I shake my head. “Tell me about it.”I say.
Reese has always been Team Sina, even though he’s my best friend I’m glad that he’s on board with me asking her to marry me. I’ll never understand their bond, but I’ll always respect them because at least I know if I can’t be there, Reese will be there. But I’ll do everything and anything to be there for her and Emma.
“You’re good enough for her Eli, don’t ever let anyone tell you different. And I’m so fucking glad that it’s Sina and not someone else. She’s still too good for you, but for some crazy ass reason she completes you. Don’t take her for granted, man. You can’t find women like her anywhere nowadays, so be good to her. I’m happy for you Eli.” Reese says. And he’s right. Sina is still too good for me, but she makes everything in my life fit in all the right places.
I give him a side hug. “I love you too, man.”
He passes me a shot and raises his, “To love and have a good life” he says.
I chuckle. I’ll drink that, “ To love and a good life.” Damn that shit burns.
“They’re pulling in,” Lei says.
Fuck. Why am I so fucking nervous?
“She’ll say yes” I look over my shoulder and see Luka giving me the cheesiest grin.
“Thanks bro.” I say as Luka hugs me, then they all make their way to the dock.
Luka, Daniel, Megan, Mona, Reese, Lei, Becca, Michael are all here with Marino on facetime. Everyone is here. We all come from different walks of life but somehow we all make sense together. These are the people who have gone from being complete strangers to being people who have fought alongside me and on my behalf when I couldn’t fight for myself. They are the people who stood by me when I thought I was losing the battle and helped me push through. These people became my family. If I haven’t said it, I’ll say it now. I don’t deserve them, but I am so fucking glad that I have them in my life and I’ll never take my family for granted.
“Are you ready to have a family sweetheart?” I ask her as I take her hands in mine.
There are tears in her eyes. “I’m ready,” she says as I wipe her tears with my fingers. “Eli, thank you for loving me and Mama” she cries. I’m a fucking goner.
I pick her up and hug her. “I love you sweetheart.” I say as I cry softly into her hair.
She kisses my forehead and says quietly, “I love you too Dad”
My heart feels like it's going to explode with all the love coursing through it. I set her back down on the ground as Michael walks towards us.
“She’ll need two dads if she’s anything like her mother” he says with a smile. He holds Emma’s hand and they start making their way to the dock where everyone is waiting.
Chapter Seventy-Eight
Sina
I can’t wait to get home. I need a shower so freaking bad. “Any plans for tonight?” Mama asks.
“We’re probably having a movie night.” I say and Mama smiles.
I pull into the driveway and say, “You ladies want to come in for a little bit?”
“Sure” Mama Hunter says with a grin.
“Do you have tea?” Mama asks.
I laugh, “Yes ma’am, six different kinds.” They both laughed together and I kind of feel like they have some kind of inside joke going with the little looks they keep sneaking at each other. I turn Mama’s car off and we get out. The house is in darkness and it doesn't look like anyone’s home. Hmm, that’s weird. I grab the house key from my purse and open the door. I hang my keys up and toss my sweater in the coat closet.
“Are they home?” Mama Hunter asks.
I check the rooms and they’re all empty.
“Honey, I’m home!” I call out. Where are they? The garage? I walk to the kitchen so I can check the garage and I stop in my tracks. What the hell? Why is it so bright in the back? Instead of checking the garage I make my way to the backyard. They’re probably roasting marshmallows for S’mores or something. I push the sliding door open and I think my heart stops beating, or I might have stopped breathing.
“Oh my God!” Both of my hands cover my mouth because I’m about to lose it. Dressed in washed jeans and an off white button up long sleeve shirt with both sleeves rolled up and a fresh haircut I see Eli standing in the garden waiting for me. How did I get so lucky to have such a beautiful man? But why does he look like he’s going to throw up? Then I remember that I look like garbage. Fuck my life.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
He holds his hand out. “Come here Baby,” he says and I walk all the way out the door and I’m blown away. Firefly lights are everywhere. The patio is covered in every single one of my favorite books, from when I was a little girl right up to today. I take his hand in mine and I follow him to where the new gazebo. I see more firefly lights and more books. I turn and spot my bookcase nestled in nicely with everything else that’s in here. Sobbing. Yup, I’m losing it.
“Eli? What’s happening right now?” I cry.
“I remembered seeing your bookcase when we were at your parent’s. I had asked your brothers about it, and they showed me. This bookcase tells a story, and I didn’t like it being in the garage. So, I had the guys bring it here because it needed a home.” He says, still holding my hands and I cry harder.
He opens it and I forget how to breathe. He’s filled it with more of my favorite books. “I made you a promise to fill every space with a million books, and I plan on doing just that.” He says, and I’m not sure if my heart can take any more surprises. He laces his fingers through mine and he starts walking down to the dock.
My crying is out of control. “Eli, what did you do?” I ask quietly.
There are twinkling lights wrapped around every tree and bush that’s back here. There are no dark spots, every single space is lit by flickering little lights. Tears are streaming down my face as he leads me to the biggest tree. He’s carved not only our names but also Emma and baby Eli’s names are there as well.
“Sina, the day I found you, I found myself. I know it took me a little while, but because of you I found more ways to love genuinely and unconditionally. Everything that you are, I want it all. I want your good and bad days, I want your Good mornings and Goodnights, I want your Hellos and your see you laters, I want your I can’t stand yous and I like yous, I want your hugs and kisses. But what I want more than anything is your I love you’s and your beautiful heart.”
He raises my hands to his mouth and kisses the inside of both my wrists.
“Sina, I’m asking you to stay, I’m asking you to choose me, I’m asking you to love me. Baby, I’m asking you to be my life for the rest of mine.” He clasps my chin between his fingers softly and says “Look over there.”
I look over at the dock and my knees give out. There are more than a hundred floating lanterns in the lake, and gathered on the dock are all of the people that mean everything to us. Standing at the front, holding four cards up where I can see them are Luka, Daniel, Megan, and Reese.
“WILL YOU MARRY HIM?” Their signs read.
“Masina Peterson, will you be my forever? Will you be my wife?” Eli says as he drops to one knee beside me. The first box he opens is a red ring pop and I gasp.
“How did you know?” I cry.
He smiles a little smile and says, “A little fairy told me.”
Then he opens the second box.
“Oh my god Eli!” I squeal.
“Will you marry me?” He asks. I’ve forgotten how to speak and can only make happy squeals so I nod my head frantically.
“Is that a yes?” He laughs at me.
I launch myself at him and loop my arms around his neck, “Yes, YES!” I squeal.
He takes a deep breath and backs up a few steps as we get to our feet. He takes my hand and slides the ring on and it fits perfectly.
“How did you know my ring size?” I ask.
He smiles and says, “I didn’t. But my grandma knew because she left this for my wife”
SWOON!
His grandmother’s diamond ring is gorgeous. He holds my face in his hands and says, “Thank you for loving me Masina,” before he kisses me under the moon.
He isn’t just the man that I’m in love with. He’s the man who sees past all the ugly scars, and the man who is willing to give up everything to make sure that I am loved. He’s the man that I prayed for when I was fourteen; he’s the man that God carved just for me.
And I am going to love this man for the rest of my life.
Epilogue
Eli
Six months later….
Today’s the day I vow to love her for the rest of my life, today is the day she becomes my wife. She decided to have her grandfather and her brothers including June-Bug walk her down the aisle. I was afraid that she would be sad not having her dad and Micah here, but she had it all figured out. She asked Becca if their son could be in our wedding and she said it was fine. So Micah Jr. was our best man next to Reese. Her grandfather had given her a certain type of cloth that belonged to her father. She calls it a Siapo, and I’m guessing that it was the cloth that was wrapped around her midsection. It went perfectly with her dress. She didn’t want to wear a veil, so she chose to wear her hair down with one side pinned back with a few white flowers that her auntie brought with her. They call it plumeria, I don't know how they kept it fresh, but they did. Her dress was made specifically just for her to wear and she was absolutely breathtaking. I could see tears on her beautiful face, but that was okay because they were happy tears. She wanted to keep it simple with just our family, and close friends, so we did just that. As long as she was happy that’s all I cared about. We decided to get married here at the lake. I didn’t understand why she wanted to get married here after everything that she’s been through but her answer was simple.
“This is where our roots started. This is where we fell in love, where the pieces of us died, and where our love was born again. This is where our souls found each other and my love for you will always be the light to all the darkness that still lives here. You are that light.” And that right there is the reason why we’re here today. She tells me that I saved her, but really, she saved me. She takes my hand, leans in then she whispers “You were always the man in the moon.”
I am one lucky motherfucker.
I am going to love this woman for the rest of my life. My heart is hers forever.
Sina
He was once a stranger, an enemy and then became my best friend. Today, he is my husband. My heart and my forever belongs to him.
“So, what was so important that you couldn’t wait to tell me?” asks my handsome husband. I smile and say, “I’m pregnant.”
Sina
It took me a while to accept that I needed help. I made the choice to talk to someone that wasn’t tied to me or my life. So, I decided to reach out to a therapist to help sort out my feelings. I was embarrassed but I also had to remind myself that it wasn’t my fault. There were more good days than bad ones, but I always made sure to find the smallest blessings on those bad days. Some may say that I am a victim of abuse but Eli tells me daily that I am a survivor.
ELIJAH HUNTER- He wasn't the easiest man to fall in love with, but he is the easiest man to love.
Alofa Atu
If you or anyone you know have been affected by any of the topics covered in Sina’s story PLEASE contact The National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If it’s an emergency PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE CALL 911 RIGHT NOW!!