B.A.D

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B.A.D Page 4

by Caitlin Moran


  He gets up from the chair he's sitting in and I sag onto a nearby desk. I was already looking into adoption, not at all expecting him to want to help me out. I mean, don't in all the books and movies the guys leave the girls for themselves?

  I knew I couldn't raise a child alone, but now he wants to help- what do I do? Abortion was out of the picture altogether. I just wasn't the type of person to be able to do that and be able to live my life -happily- knowing that I did. I couldn't really explain it, I just couldn't do that to an innocent life inside me.

  "Oh." was all I could say. My eyes were a little wide with the realization that my life was a little cliché. Haha. I almost giggled at the insanity of it. Me, the nobody got pregnant with the school's golden boy and he was STAYING with me through it all. Damn, now there's the cliché.

  I shake my head and look back up to the man now standing in front of me. I can't help but think of what my mom said about my so called "Dad". I still remember.

  "He left us. He impregnated me with Madella then he left. He didn't even care for us. I guess he didn't really leave, I kicked him out. But don't worry, it was for a good reason. He did cheat after all."

  I was afraid that's what Rane would do. He had me pregnant, made me believe he loved me, and then he would cheat on me with somebody better than me. I can't really blame him. I definitely wasn't anyone special. That this would be just a game to him and I was the target, he would be the cat and I would be the mouse, unknowingly falling into his death trap.

  I look into his sincere eyes and I can't take it. I can't take the concern, the sincerity, and the love that are portrayed in his eyes. They speak for themselves and even if the say what he tells me is true, I run.

  I run from the care he gives. I ignore when he calls my name and just keep going.

  I run straight home. My mom is sitting on the couch when I do and I decide to just tell her now. I might as well.

  I sit on the chair opposite her's and say, "I'm pregnant."

  A slow sadistic smile spreads across her face. My face goes into confusion. Why is she smiling?

  She laughs, it's high and cold. "Good. It doesn't matter to me."

  "Why?" It hurts that she doesn't care.

  "Why, dear," her face is cold and hard as she leans closer to me. The brown in her eyes, I notice, is darker than mine. "You are not my child."

  Chapter 10

  I sat, stunned, at my mother's confession. A smug smile was on her face.

  "Now I don't have to pretend! I have waited so long for this!" she sighs after saying it. My chest hurts painfully and she laughs. She is just so happy about it all. That's what hurts the most. All these years and she never really liked me. I have so many questions now.

  "I told you he cheated on me. That's how you came to be." she adds with a flip of her blond hair that I had thought I had inherited from her. I was so wrong. She was only Shane's and Madella's mom, nothing to me. She was a stranger, a stranger in my own home.

  "But... How? I mean, what happened? Whose are father? Why did he cheat? Why-" she laughs and I am cut off by the way it rings in my ears. It's cold and vile, holding absolutely no warmth.

  "Get your answers from your father." she stands and starts to walk away

  "I don't even know who he is! Where is he? Who is h-" she cuts off my endless questioning once again.

  "He's closer than you think, and you, my dear, will see him soon." with that said, she walks off, up the steps and into her room. I hear her laugh just as she closes the door. I still sit in my chair, not having the strength to get up and do something. I don't even know what I would do.

  My phone rings in my pocket and I jump. I take it out of my pocket and answer in a daze.

  "Hello?"

  "Hi. It's... Rane." I hear the masculine voice say in the phone. Damn, even his voice sends shivers to me over the phone. I finally realize that I was talking on the phone with... Rane. How the hell did he get my number?

  "Oh. Ummm.... How did you get my number?" I probably sound like a choking cat.

  "I-I.... uhhhh.. Well I was- like- um- Layla." It's cute that he was stuttering. Oh. Layla. I should have known. I nod but then see how stupid that is because he can't see me.

  "Oh. Okay, yeah." Wow, Elaina, great reply. I shake my head and try to get a hold of myself. Soon I'd be stuttering like Rane was. "Soooo..." I didn't know what to say.

  "Sooooo..." he says the same thing as me and I laugh.

  "You called?" I remind the poor guy, he seemed as lost as I was for words.

  "Oh. That's right, I did." I giggle. "Well... I was wondering- it's stupid- but maybe, sometime, we could... you know... go out?"

  My heart stops. Did the incredibly handsome, popular, macho man Rane just ask little Mrs. Nobody out? I was ecstatic. Then I realized it was probably because I was his baby momma. The one he accidently knocked up and now he has to play goodie two shoes for his momma.

  His mom was thought to be very strict with her kids. She had the life anyone would envy. The big mansion home, big family, and the loving husband. If you ever saw the couple, you would think they were soul mates. But soul mates aren't real... are they?

  "Elaina?" I shiver as he says my name but am brought back to reality.

  "Oh, yeah. I... I would love to."

  Chapter 11

  "Okay." he paused. "Yeah, I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow." Excitement leaks out of his voice. I grin stupidly down at the electronic device in my hands, my own excitement building.

  "I'll let you go now, I guess. I have to.. plan." he adds.

  "Okay, yeah. Bye!" The phone clicks off and I sit in the lumpy old chair until I get reminded of the news my mo-Linda gave me.

  I wonder again who my father is. I may never know. For now, instead of dwelling on it, I walk up the steps sluggishly. I make it to my room and throw myself on my bed, exhausted. My window only shows darkness, telling me it's later than I thought.

  My eyes drifted closed and I was almost asleep when I heard a light knock on the door.

  "Come in!" The door slowly opened to reveal Shane. He was standing there in his Spiderman pajamas with his little bear tight by his side.

  "Can I sleep with you?" I nodded my head and he ran and did a little dive onto my bed and under my covers. His blond hair spreads across the pillow and he visibly wilts when he finds a comfortable position.

  My eyes drift closed again and I'm off into my dream. I wish I had never closed my eyes.

  ~~~Dream~~~

  My bare feet run across the green grass without a sound. They pad carefully through the thicket of twigs and leaves. Darkness caresses my skin and surroundings. The only light was from the full moon, peeking through the trees that tower above my head.

  I was not yet tired, I would soon though. I was not a werewolf, but a witch. I couldn't continue running as long as they could.

  I hear footfalls behind me, they get louder and louder. I turn my head a fraction and catch sight of a black wolf and a light brown one. They are big, way bigger than normal wolves. I know they are werewolves and I doubt that I can outrun them.

  Brown hair flutters over my eyes briefly and I almost trip over my own feet. I manage to keep upright but they are closer now.

  My hands slap branches and leaves from my face. My legs are getting cut by the briars that stick up from the ground, making me bleed.

  I squint my eyes when I think I see a flash of blond hair. I shake my head and pray that she isn't here, that the blond wasn't from her hair. I would die for her, I've been alive way too long now anyway. She has yet to live.

  I know that my praying has gone to waste when she yells my name. She says it three times, I count.

  The way her voice carries on the wind tells me that she is in my path, my only way to freedom.

  I turn back around and face the wolves.

  I can't bring them to her.

  "Please! Answer me!" she yells at the top of her lungs yet I won't say anything.

  As the wolves barrel do
wn on me, I can't control the scream that rips from my throat as they prepare to jump...

  I sit up straight, my body soaked in sweat. The dream was so realistic, as if a memory. My heart beats erratically in my chest, as if it would soon jump straight out.

  Shane still sleeps, snoring lightly next to me. His face moves slightly on the pillow and I am glad that I am not alone at the moment.

  The moon shows full and bright outside my window and I carefully get up to look out it. I scan the yard below and freeze on a dark figure near the tree line. It moves away and I try to convince myself that it was just a shadow, nothing else.

  Even as I think of the figure as a shadow, I can't bring myself to believe it was a tree, but instead something of my nightmares. I go back into my bed a half hour later, thinking over my dream.

  Whoever was in my dream most likely dies. I wasn't scared for myself, I was scared for whoever had that future ahead of them because whoever I dreamed of, it wasn't me. I just knew that it was going to happen.

  Chapter 12

  At exactly six, there is a knock on my door. I slowly make my way to the door. My nails are slightly chipped from my other finger nails picking at them. I look at myself before opening the door.

  I had on a white cotton dress that went above the knee, grey tights, and black rain-boots. My blond hair was down with a black beanie over it. I had grabbed a long black coat going down the hallway and I put that on. I just dabbed a bit of makeup on.

  I declared that I looked fine.

  The door opened with a whoosh and there stood Rane. He wore jeans, leather jacket, and black boots with a hat and gloves. All in all, he looked good, handsome.

  "Hi." he said in a low voice as a light wind came by and swept his dark hair to the side.

  "Hi." I blushed. I wasn't used to the whole dating experience considering I've never had a boyfriend as of yet. I wasn't quite sure if this actually was a date but I would take what I got. As they say 'if life gives you lemons... find an annoying kid with a paper cut! Wait- that doesn't sound right. Never mind.

  He looked me over and smiled. "You look beautiful." Damn, that sooo didn't help with my blush. I probably look like a tomato right about now.

  "Thanks." Another breeze came and I realized how cold he must be. "Oh! One sec. I only need my gloves." I run into the house, leaving Rane to stand outside and grabbed my gloves on the kitchen table.

  I run back to the door to an awaiting Rane. He stands in the same place, an amused grin on his face.

  "Okay, we can go now." I step out the door, turning back around to close it behind me.

  "Alright, we'll take my car." His husky voice warms my already cold body and I shiver. He must have thought it was a cold shiver for he wrapped an arm around me till we get to his car. I sigh in pleasure.

  He opens the passenger side door and I hop in. He runs around the car and got in as I buckle up. We took off and I was nervous again. I was in the car... with Rane, my baby daddy. I almost laugh. It was funny to think of him as my baby's daddy.

  Thinking of the baby, I look down at my still flat stomach. Inside held a piece of me and Rane, something living. It was a scary thought and I try to push it away for now. I didn't want to dwell on it now, while with Rane.

  I can freak out about the oncoming baby another time.

  A ringing breaks me out of my thoughts and I turn from the window to look at Rane. He now holds a phone to his ear and I can't hear anything from the other side.

  I barely even hear him, he speaks so low. His jaw twitches and clenches together in anger and agitation. He finally nods even if the person he talks to can't see him.

  With a loud sigh, he hangs up and looks to me. His eyes are apologetic and pleading.

  "We have to go to my house. My father needs to speak with me for a moment. Apparently, it's urgent." I nod my agreement to the plan. It really was okay.

  He turns the car in the direction of his home, eastward, and I realize I would be going too. I don't mind. I settle myself in the car and lay my head against the cold window.

  A hand shakes me awake with a light "Elaina, wake up, love." I must have dozed off on the way, for we are at his house now. I fell warmed when I realize he had said "love".

  I flick my eyes to the house and then to my door handle. I was about to grab it when Rane is automatically there and holding the door open.

  I jump out and I feel little wet droplets hit me. It was drizzling. The drops spatter onto my clothes and hair and I am glad for the rain boots for there are puddles on the stone walkway.

  He places a warm hand on my back and we hurry along the path. I feel the warmth from inside my clothing and I sigh in pleasure.

  We go to the kitchen once through the door and he leads me to a stool. He has taken my coat already and he sits me at the island. The kitchen was really beautiful.

  My hand rests on the granite table top as he says, "I will send my mom in to keep you company while I talk with my father." I nod in consent.

  I only sit by myself for a bit before a lady comes in. She doesn't look much like her son yet they have the same blue eyes.

  "Hi." her voice is of sugar and honey, friendliness and interest. "How about I make some cupcakes? You must be at least slightly hungry, with a baby on the way and all." My mouth gapes open at the lady.

  Rane had told his parents? Well, I did too but... Never mind. He can tell his parents I guess.

  I sigh and say "okay" as I watch her pull on an apron, a blond curl falling out from her up do in the process. She is actually a very pretty lady, to be so old, she had a good figure still on her, barely any wrinkles to her. I could only hope to be as good looking when I had a 17 year old son.

  Ha. I would have a 17 year old son before I knew it - or daughter.

  "So, Mrs. Moore-"

  "Please, call me Jade." she interrupts my question.

  "Jade, what's it like?"

  "What?" her blond head turns with a confused look.

  "Having a kid?" my voice barely comes out with the question yet she hears anyway. Her musical laughter floats around the room.

  "Oh, dear. I guess it's different for everyone really. But don't worry about it... you'll have Rane's hand to squeeze every time you have to push and -" I laugh, cutting her off and she laughs too. "Too much?" I nod.

  She suddenly squeals and I jump.

  "What?"

  "It's all so REAL! I'm really going to have a grandbaby! I really couldn't wait till Rane fucked somebody up!" My mouth opens in astonishment and I giggle. She seemed like the perfect lady yet she has a mouth of a sailor.

  "Of course, I had to wait until he found his mat- uhhh look why don't you fetch the boys, hmmm? The cupcakes are done." her eyes plead for me to do as she asks and forget what she almost said. I then notice that while we were talking, she had cooked the cupcakes.

  My stomach growls at the delicious smell and I nod. That was the second time someone cut off on this "mat" word. It was quite aggravating.

  I walk down the hall to where I had seen Rane disappear into. I hear voices come through the door and I was about to open it up when I heard something.

  Growling.

  I didn't think anything of it really, they could have dogs. But when the growls get louder and I hear a "Rane, quit growling. Calm your wolf." I freeze.

  Wolf?

  OH.

  MY.

  GOD.

  Rane, my baby's daddy, was a werewolf. As in howl at the moon, turn into an animal, werewolf. And my baby was going to be half werewolf.

  Well, shit.

  Chapter 13

  My breathing was labored and I stared at the door for what felt like forever. The nearing footsteps knocked me out of my reverie along with the "Elaina? You okay?" that I got from Rane's mother.

  "I mean, it's okay if you have to pee... pregnant ladies gotta do what they gotta do but still remember to fetch dem damn boys on your way back, nnkay?"

  I don't respond. My mind is too muddled, my ears filled
with the sound of my rushing blood. My heart pounds and I suddenly have to go - get away. It was all just too much at the moment.

  My knocking knees suddenly pivot around along with my feet and then I'm off, running down the hallway, headed straight for the back door. I had seen it the night of the party - sometime in my drunken haze.

  The cold air chills my uncovered arms, I hadn't gotten my coat on the way out the door. It was, unfortunately back inside with the she-wolf. Would this make her a bitch? Considering she is a female dog - sort of. I shake the thoughts away, my hair tangles slightly in the branches that I now feel slapping against me.

  I was in the woods behind Rane's house, somewhere I probably shouldn't have gone considering they were werewolves. They practically ruled the forest...

  The bottoms of my rain boots sloshed in a puddle that I had run through, splashing dirty water everywhere. I was glad for my rain boots at that moment.

  I was getting confused and I had no idea where I was. My next breath came out in a sob. I wasn't even sure why I was starting to cry, really. I just was.

  Arms circled me as my knees knocked together, falling to the ground. I was pressed against a chest and I cried.

  Everything was now starting to get to me. Reality was crashing down - and crashing hard. I didn't have a parent - I didn't even know who they were. Not even a name. The lady I had once loved - and still might - that I had considered and called "Mom" didn't care for me. She acted as if I wasn't even there anymore, barely even acknowledging Shane, her actual son. It hurt me when she ignored him, like a punch in my gut - what did he feel?

  I was pregnant - I was only seventeen! I couldn't even leave the house - legally. I didn't have a job. The father was a fucking werewolf.

  My life was quite messed up at the moment. A big roller coaster of bullshit that a teen girl shouldn't go through.

  I sighed and leaned into whoever was holding me. I didn't care who it was, I haven't had someone hug me in what felt like forever.

  "Shhh, it's okay. Let it out."

  Rane.

  I didn't even care, it just felt nice. If he was going to stroke my hair and give me even an ounce of compassion - fuck it, he can sleep in the bed with me. That's right - sleep. No funny business though.

 

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