“Tuck!” She crawled toward him in disbelief and pressed a mitten against his shell. It was firm and solid and real beneath her hand. Joy surged through her and she wrapped her arms around him. His head pulled into his shell, then slowly peeked out. Laughing, Red planted a kiss on the top of it before he ducked back in.
“You’re alive! I found you!” She hung on to him.
Looking around, she tried to see through the blizzard, unsure of what came next. How could she get him back to the farm? It wasn’t like she could carry him.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Tuck. I’m sorry about the storm. I’m sorry you were lost.” The dark and snow crowded in on them, and panic gripped her. “Now we’re both lost.”
The tortoise blinked, his head still mostly inside his shell. She didn’t know how to get Tuck home, but she could try to keep him warm. She tugged off her mittens with her teeth and stuffed them into the space around Tuck’s head, then unwound the two scarves and wrapped them around the base of his body, covering his scaly feet.
Turning toward where she hoped the house might be, she screamed as loud as she could. “HELP! I FOUND TUCK!”
She screamed until her voice disappeared and she could taste the tang of iron on her tongue. Then she unzipped her coat and swung one leg over Tuck’s shell and sat on his back. Opening her coat, she draped herself over the tortoise, her stomach and chest pressed against his shell, and her arms and coat dangling like a blanket.
“Hold on, Tuck.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to push back the storm again, but it wasn’t hers to control. The snow was so thick now, it stuck to them in wet sheets. The tortoise was still and cold beneath her.
“Please,” Red whispered. “Please hold on, Tuck.”
The roar of the blizzard was deafening. Wind shrieked and screamed in Red’s ears. A dry sob burned in her throat. She wished Celine was there. Celine would know what to do.
A whistle trilled in the darkness, clear and bright against the wind. Red lifted her head. Her whole body was stiff with cold.
She heard the whistle again. Like the song of a flute.
Hope sparked hot in Red’s heart. She twisted around, looking up at the sky.
“There! Look, Tuck! Look!”
Behind them, a small patch of clouds unraveled into a near-perfect circle. Pleiades peeked through, shimmering boldly amidst the storm. Red could hear the song of the Seven Sisters clearly now, warm and beckoning.
“WE’RE OVER HERE!” she shouted, but the storm buried her voice.
Red closed her eyes, listening to the star-music. She pulled in a deep breath and felt a familiar tickle. Warmth spread down her arms and into her hands. Music swirled around her, strengthened her. She concentrated on the joy still buzzing through her. She thought of Tuck, of Celine. And of the music she knew was meant for her.
“We’re over here,” she whispered. “Please hurry.”
And a breath of wind, as warm as a summer breeze, carried her words right where she needed them to go.
back? When something that big is lost, it’s gone forever.
The RMS Titanic was a really big, really nice boat that could carry more than 3,500 people on board. For its very first journey, the Titanic was sailing to New York from Southampton, England. On April 15, 1912, it hit an iceberg and sank in the Atlantic ocean. More than 1,500 people died that night.
Everyone thought the boat was lost forever. Lots of people looked for it. But for a long time, the Titanic stayed lost.
Then, seventy-three years later, on September 1, 1985, it was found more than thirteen nautical miles from where everyone thought it would be. It was 12,000 feet under the water, and had become a part of the ocean floor.
Thirteen miles away and 12,000 feet deep. Lots of ocean-floor camouflage. That’s why it was impossible to find for so long.
They were looking in all the wrong places.
Chapter
29
“We’re gonna visit my uncle on the Big Island. He used to live close to Kīlauea, before the last really big eruption.” Marvin jumped off a hay bale, which startled the goats. “The lava destroyed his house. But he says all that matters is that his family is okay.”
They were in the barn, feeding the animals and hanging out with Tuck. Today was the last day of school before winter break, and all Marvin could talk about was his family’s upcoming trip to Hawai‘i.
“I wish I was going somewhere warm for Christmas,” Red said. The weather had been cold since the night she found Tuck, almost three weeks ago. The snow was gone. It was just freezing and dry all the time. Her lips were constantly chapped because of it.
“Yeah, it’s nice. But I’ve never had a white Christmas. Maybe you will.”
Red laughed. “I’ve lived in Colorado my whole life, and never had a white Christmas. It’s always brown!”
Marvin made a face. “Colorado weather is so weird.”
“You can say that again.” She held another apple slice on her palm for Billie, who was standing on Tuck’s back. Every morning since Tuck’s return, Red had come into the barn to find Billie in Tuck’s pen, snuggled up next to him or standing on his shell.
“I kind of wish we were staying in Colorado, though,” Marvin said, tossing his apple slice at Lancelot’s feet.
“Why?”
He drop-kicked a carrot and it skittered through the straw into the goats’ stall. “Tūtū and Papa are talking about going back to Hawai‘i.”
“So?”
“I mean, they want to go back. For good.”
“Oh.” Red glanced at him. There were tears in his eyes. “That sucks.”
He wiped his nose. “I’m not allowed to say that word. But yeah. It does.”
“Why do they want to go back?”
“That huge windstorm really scared Tūtū. She hasn’t stopped talking about moving back since. She’s afraid of tornadoes.”
Spikes of guilt jabbed at Red. “Haven’t they always lived with you, though?”
Marvin kicked another hay bale. “Yeah. Ever since I was a baby. When Dad got transferred here, Tūtū said she couldn’t go a day without seeing her honu and so they came, too.”
“Honu?”
His cheeks flushed. “That’s what they call me. It means turtle.”
She bit back a smile. “Oh. Right.”
The blush of embarrassment faded from his face. “Dad said they’re just homesick. He doesn’t think they’ll want to move back if we go visit. But I don’t know. What if they decide to stay there?”
He looked so dejected that Red reached out and took his fingers in her own.
After a moment, he dropped her hand. “But I have a backup plan.”
“You do?”
He nodded. “Yup. I’m making a video. I have to make one for that online film class anyway. So I’m gonna make one that will convince Papa and Tūtū to stay here.”
“How?” Red fed Billie another piece of alfalfa.
“I’ll just show them everything they love about Colorado. And me. Lots of stuff about me. Just to remind them how much they’ll miss me if they go.” He grinned mischievously.
Billie bleated from Tuck’s back, wanting more food.
“Has Tuck been okay?” Marvin asked.
Red nodded. “Yeah. Jackson says it’s a miracle.” She scratched Billie’s soft ear. “Billie won’t leave him alone. She missed him. I think she’s worried he’ll blow away again.”
“Blow away?”
Red flinched. “Run away. Whatever.”
Marvin wandered over to Fezzik’s stall and rubbed the donkey’s velvety nose. Fezzik turned so that Marvin would scratch his ears, too.
“Are you seeing your mom for Christmas?” he asked.
It was Red’s turn to kick a hay bale. “No. Not on Christmas. She has to work. She got a job at a restaurant.”
“That’s good, right?”
Red nodded.
Things with her mom were going pretty well. They even
got to see each other once a week now. Last week, Ms. Anders had told Red what the judge said Wanda had to do to get custody of Red. Basically, she needed to prove she could take good care of Red. It wasn’t complicated. Just keep a job, get an apartment. The most important part—and what made Red the most nervous—was that her mom couldn’t start taking pills again. She had to stay sober.
“Not a problem,” Wanda said. She’d squeezed Red’s hand, and her face was serious. “I’ve got what I need right here.”
Red squeezed her hand back, hard, like a promise. Like, I’ll be what you need.
Red offered Fezzik some alfalfa. “Hopefully she likes her job okay. She worked in a restaurant when I was little, but hated it. She used to tell my gamma it was eating her soul.”
Fezzik snuffled the alfalfa, then turned away. Marvin took it from her and started twisting it with another piece. “What are you doing for Christmas?”
Red watched as he braided the alfalfa into a skinny crown. “Jackson’s daughter and her family are coming.”
“Cool!” He sounded genuinely happy at the news. “I met Nicole when they visited last summer. I liked her. She’s a really good cook.”
Red didn’t say anything. Of course Marvin liked Nicole. Marvin liked everybody. And everybody liked Marvin right back. It wasn’t so easy for Red, though. Nicole was all Jackson talked about lately, and it made Red whirly with nervousness. And maybe a little jealous, too. Jackson cared for Red, she knew that. But Nicole was his daughter daughter. How could Red compete with that?
Red hadn’t ever known her dad. Her mom refused to talk about him whenever Red asked, and Gamma had only ever said that Red’s dad “wasn’t up for a kid.” Red didn’t even know his name. Once she’d seen her birth certificate in her state file. The box where her father’s name was supposed to be was empty.
Gamma used to tell her not to worry about it. “Don’t let anybody take up brain and heart space he don’t deserve, baby girl,” she’d say. So Red hadn’t. But lately, listening to Jackson talk about Nicole, seeing the way his eyes softened around the edges when he said her name, made Red wish that she could have a dad who loved her like that, too. Did Nicole know how lucky she was to have Jackson? If she did know, then why had she moved so far away? Red didn’t think she’d ever move away from Jackson if he was her dad.
Red and Nicole had talked on video-chat a few times, and she seemed nice. But what if Nicole didn’t like her when they met in person? Would Celine and Jackson still want Red around if Nicole didn’t like her? She thought of The Mom’s three boys, how much they’d hated her. Bio kids had a way of making parents change their minds about being fosters.
“HOLY BANANAS!”
Marvin’s voice made her jump. He pointed toward the stack of hay bales in the back of the barn. “I swear I just saw something,” he said.
“What?”
He shook his head. “I dunno. I think it was a rat or something. If it was, it was the biggest, hugest, most enormous rat ever!”
They went over to investigate, peering behind the stack and even jostling a few hay bales to see if something ran out. But nothing was there.
Marvin held his hands about two feet apart. “I swear I saw it! It was, like, this big!”
There was still no sign of it a few minutes later when Celine called them in for dinner. But as they left the barn, Red thought she heard a quiet rustling from the back corner. She shivered and pulled the door closed behind her.
Chapter
30
“Merry Christmas Eve!” Jackson said. He filled a pot with water and set it on the stove to boil for oatmeal.
Red was still rubbing sleep from her eyes. It was the first day of winter break, but she was up early for barn chores. The animals had to be fed, even on Christmas Eve. “Morning.” She yawned.
“Gonna catch flies with that thing,” Jackson teased.
She covered her mouth belatedly. The dogs were sniffing for crumbs under the table. Gandalf’s huge backside kept bumping into Red’s chair.
“Are you excited?” Jackson asked.
He was, obviously. All week long he hadn’t been able to get through five minutes without mentioning Nicole. Nicole’s a reader, too, Red, I bet you’ve read the same books! You should taste Nicole’s chili, Red, she makes a mean one. You’ll love Nicole’s boys, Red, they’re tornadoes with curls.
That last one made Red squirm. She didn’t want any tornadoes—toddler-size or otherwise.
Red grabbed Gandalf’s tail to keep it from whacking her in the arm again. Jackson hummed as he made breakfast, his music rustling up excitement in the dogs, too. Celine came into the kitchen a while later and ruffled Red’s hair.
“Happy Christmas, my family!” Celine was pale, but her smile was bright. Her damp hair smelled of lavender and mint.
“I’m making oatmeal,” Jackson said, kissing her as she opened a cupboard and fished out a mug.
Celine smiled. “Nothing beats old-lady oatmeal!”
“Old-fashioned, not old-lady, thank you.” Jackson peered into his pot and sniffed. Celine winked at Red and poured herself a cup of coffee.
“What time does their plane get in?” Celine asked after Jackson set bowls of oatmeal—lumpy, sweet, old-fashioned oatmeal—in front of them.
“Around ten. They should be here by noon, I expect. I told them we’d pick them up, but Nicole said it’d be easier to have a rental car. She also said the twins will need to go down for a nap when they arrive.”
Celine laughed. “Good luck with that! Those boys will want to see every animal, and they’ll want to play with Red.” Celine reached across the table and squeezed her arm.
Red ate a few bites of oatmeal and snuck the dogs several sticky lumps. Celine didn’t seem to have much appetite, either. She picked up her mostly full bowl and dusted her hand over Red’s hair on her way to the sink.
“If anyone is going to be your favorite in this family, my girl, it’ll be Nicole. Just you wait,” Jackson said.
* * *
Red was sitting on the floor of the living room helping Jackson assemble a set of toy train tracks under the Christmas tree a few hours later. They’d almost laid the last piece in the figure-eight design when they heard the sound of gravel crunching under tires in the driveway. Brontë and Frodo came barreling through the room, sending tracks and train cars flying in every direction.
Jackson leaped to his feet and clapped his hands, a grin as wide as the sky on his face. “Cee! They’re here!”
“I hear that.” She came from the kitchen, massaging the curve of her neck and shoulder.
Red lagged behind as Celine and Jackson hurried outside. From the window, she watched the dogs run happy circles around the car, pressing their noses into every new leg they saw.
Nicole was tall and thin with a mass of brown and red and blond ringlets. Her hair was cut so that it was longer on one side of her head than the other. Her husband, Anthony, was a shorter, somewhat pudgy man with a brown, close-cropped beard. Their boys, Noah and Jack, tried to run after the dogs, little arms outstretched and faces split open with joy.
“The airport was a nightmare. It took us an hour to get our bags. And then the rental place only had this thing. We asked for a midsize and the guy kept saying, I have something just a little bit bigger. Ha!” Nicole laughed. Her laugh was as musical as her father’s.
“Let me help, Nic.” Jackson hurried toward her and wrapped her in a hug. “Hey, Bear,” he said.
She kissed his cheek. “Hi, Daddy.”
They rocked back and forth for a moment. Finally, Nicole pulled back and reached for Celine. Red tucked herself back into the curtains when Nicole’s eyes searched the porch.
“Isn’t Red here?” she asked.
Red’s heart fluttered and flapped, and she didn’t catch Celine’s reply.
The group tromped noisily into the house. Jackson hung up Nicole’s coat and bent to lift one of the boys. He tossed him into the air, and the boy laughed and shrieked
with glee.
“Hello, there, my little prince!” They rubbed noses. The boy grabbed Jackson’s cheeks with his fingers, pinching them together so that Jackson’s lips puckered.
“Pappaw!” He forced Jackson’s mouth to move as if he were speaking. “Pappaw!”
The second toddler bumped against Celine’s legs, hands outstretched. She unloaded bags from her arms and lifted him. He nestled against her chest, head tucked under her chin, and yawned.
“They’re so tired,” Nicole said. “They didn’t sleep at all last night.”
“Too excited about Pappaw and Nooni’s house.” Anthony grinned and patted the back of the boy in Celine’s arms.
“They’re so big!” Celine murmured into her toddler’s curly head. “Push pause, for heaven’s sake.”
The six of them were still and quiet and shining for a moment that stretched out like gum wrapped around a fingertip. Red stood back, watching like the outsider she knew she was. She didn’t belong, but her heart ached with wanting to.
“Oh my gosh.” The moment pulled softly apart as Nicole’s eyes landed on Red. “Red? Dad, what are you even doing.” She grabbed his arm. “Introduce me to my sister in person!”
Jackson grinned as he looked between the two of them. “Come here, Red,” he said, waving her forward. “This is my girl.”
He put his hand on Red’s shoulder and squeezed lightly, and Red realized he was still talking about her. This is my girl. Red. Red is my girl.
“Hi.” She waved awkwardly.
“Look at you!” Nicole stepped around the dogs and held out her hand. “It is good to see you in real life, instead of on a screen!”
Red shook her hand. She was surprised by the strength in Nicole’s fingers. “Hi,” she said again, more confidently.
Nicole’s smile was magnetic. “Can I hug you? I’m a hugger. And you’re my sister! I have always wanted a sister!”
She smelled like applesauce and stale airplane air, and her hair tickled Red’s cheek and ear. Red wanted to say, I’m not your sister. But Nicole’s hug made her feel like maybe she could be.
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