by Abbie Lyons
“What do you want?” Morgan asked, cutting right to the chase.
Okay, so Morgan was certainly not one of those girls who would pine after Collum. Maybe it was that whole British-Irish rivalry, but his charm was totally lost on her. “I honestly don’t see the appeal in any of those three,” she’d always say to me.
“I was actually hoping I could borrow Donovan here for a quick chat,” he said.
Even the whole calling me by my last name thing was kind of nice. So nice that I almost didn’t notice how entirely weird it was for someone like Collum Tavish to want a private audience with me.
Morgan turned, wide-eyed, to me. I just sat there, ink-splattered and as confused as anyone else. But looking confused, for someone with as many secrets as I apparently had, was probably not a good move.
“Sure,” I said, forcing my voice as casual as I could. “Be right back, guys?”
Teddy nodded, totally oblivious and re-engrossed in his book. Morgan nodded too, but with a glance that said “you had better as hell tell me what he wants of you, woman,” and I rose from my seat.
Collum jerked his head towards the far wall of the library. “Thought we could snag a private study room, yeah?”
“Makes sense,” I said, then immediately wondered why I had said it. None of this whole thing made sense. If I had a quarter for every time someone had mysteriously said “can we talk?” to me, I could buy myself a brownstone back in Brooklyn.
We wound our way through the stacks, past murmuring (or sleeping) groups of students, nothing but the whispering sounds of turning pages and the scratching of pens on parchment, me following Collum a few strides behind. He was tall, and for someone to strike all five-foot-ten of me as tall, they have to be tall tall. Noticing I was almost jogging to keep up, he slowed.
“Uh, thanks,” I said, and, feeling like I needed to make more conversation. “How...was your break?”
A shadow fell across his features. “Oh, fine.”
Idiot, I told myself. I’d just jabbed a finger right in Collum’s emotional bruise, and even though I barely knew him, I felt like a jerk. What good was having a best friend who told me every time someone got dumped if I didn’t even pay attention?
“How was yours?” he said, politely. We’d arrived at one of the study rooms, which I’d never been in before, and it turned out “room” was a pretty mundane way to refer to them. What we had were...pods, kind of like old-timey carriages, but without the wheels, with a table, chairs, and a chalkboard inside. Normal enough, except that there were six of them, arranged in a giant circle, so that as soon as you stepped in, the whole wheel rotated one to the right, leaving the empty carriage-room at the ground level and escorting your private study session a few feet into the air.
Yeah—like a giant library Ferris wheel.
“Good,” I said, my voice a squeak of surprise as Collum gallantly held open the little carved wooden door for me. I slipped inside, still gawking as only a half-human could do every time she’s presented with yet another facet of the Hades Academy setup. I was clearly going to have to explore this library beyond my favorite armchair.
“Good,” Collum echoed. He followed me in, and drew the door shut behind him. Inside, a small chandelier provided just enough light to read by—and see by.
A wall of emotion hit me like a heavy ocean wave to the chest. We weren’t alone.
“Raines?” I said. Oh, dammit.
“Hey.” From the shadows, Raines stood from one of the chairs. He nodded at Collum, and didn’t bother nodding at me, because there was no need. I felt his presence more inside than I could ever acknowledge outwardly.
“Why are you even here?” I said, maybe a little rudely. The ground shifted gently beneath our feet, our room lifting into the air. I glanced out the windows and saw the spread of the library shelves beneath us, the flickering points of light that represented students working, the midnight-blue windows at the far, far end of the hall.
Every day was starting to feel like this: a new perspective. Just when I thought I’d gotten comfortable somewhere, the earth would literally move beneath my feet. I bit back a sigh.
“Col asked me,” Raines said. “Seeing as I know you a bit better than he does.”
A ripple of feeling emanated off of him—he wasn’t lying, but I was definitely missing part of the story. I turned to Collum, who was chewing his lip.
“Yeah,” Collum said. “I just wanted to ask you...well, no easy way to say this, is there?” He laughed a little.
“Easy way to say what?” I demanded.
Collum straightened up, suddenly serious.
“Would you be my girlfriend, Nova?”
Chapter Seven
“You have ink on your skirt,” Raines said.
Oh my God, was he serious?
"Shut up," I said. "Super not the issue right now?" I looked to Collum. "I'm sorry...you want me to what now?"
"Yeah," Collum said, maybe even blushing a little—hard to tell by the greenish light of the chandelier. "I know it's a bit mental. But..." He sighed. "Well, maybe you've heard about me and Aramind, yeah?"
My immediate thought was to lie, because it felt like such an awkward, personal thing to know about this guy I didn't know very well. I gave him a noncommittal half-shrug.
"It's fine," Collum said. "I don't expect it's much of a secret. Yeah, so we struck up a bit of a...thing over break. And I don't...well, I did really like her. I know she might not seem it, but she was great fun. Smart, and beautiful."
I raised an eyebrow at Raines, who was clearly sensing my annoyance. He remained totally impassive.
"Anyway, I'm not too proud a man to admit that her breaking up with me was, well..."
"Humiliating," Raines finished for him. "What she did was unacceptable."
A low anger ebbed from him and into me. Say what you want about Raines, the guy was loyal to his friends.
"That's one word for it," Collum said, a faint smile on his lips. "Anyway, I was a bit angry. Still am, really. But I'm not after revenge. Doesn't seem right, y'know? She's a girl and I don't pick on girls, even if they break my heart."
"That's kind of sexist," I said, without thinking. Raines almost bugged his eyes at me. "Sorry," I said. "I'm sounding really insensitive, aren't I?"
Collum shook his head. "You're all right, Donovan."
Coming from him, it felt like a real compliment. "Thanks." I swallowed, annoyingly aware of the ink stains on my skirt ever since Raines had pointed them out. Damn Camilla. "So...I'm sorry to hear about this, and all, but I'm still not quite sure where I come in. The whole"—I could barely get the word out—"girlfriend thing."
The thing was, I hadn't ever been anyone's girlfriend. When survival is your highest priority, dating drifts down to somewhere around rock bottom of your to-do list. It wasn't like I had a place to invite guys back to—if I even found one I'd want to take that far—and my shitty prepaid phone didn't have the kind of data that I'd want to waste on swiping back and forth. Plus, as I'd learned through my many adventures in three-card monte, the kind of guys you met IRL are not the ones that had any long-term potential, unless your long term was getting thrown in the East River.
"Right," Collum said. "Sorry. I realize it's a bit unorthodox. But I was talking with Raines, and well..."
"You're human," Raines said.
"Half-human," I said automatically, sending him a death glare. As if he was at all in a position to criticize someone's heritage.
"Close enough for these purposes," Raines countered.
"Which are what, exactly?" I stared at Collum, clearly the only person in this conversation who was going to give me any answers.
"Aramind's a bit of a...snob," Collum said. "I don't mean to insult her, but, well...at this point what's the harm, eh? She doesn't think too highly of humans, is the thing."
"A demon purist," I thought. So this Aramind girl was basically the Camilla of third year. Just as I'd suspected.
"In so many words
, yes," Collum said, a little flash of humor lighting his eyes. "Mind you I've got nothing against humans, or anyone with human blood. We've got a few humans somewhere in my family—by marriage, really, and not sure quite where, but still. You know, Irish family. Lots of kids."
"Sure." I nodded. "My mom was—is—Irish. Distantly. A few generations back. I think."
Collum actually smiled at that. "Sure. Donovan. Never thought of it, but you're right."
"Pleasure to meet more of my countrymen," I said. His smile broadened.
"So I figured, since you sort of knew Raines, and you're really the only half-human I've got any contact with, that, well...if you and I were to start dating, Aramind would be pretty damn pissed about it."
"She'd have a coronary," Raines said. Collum sighed.
"All right, easy." He turned to me. "Mate's a bit protective, you know how it is."
God, did I. "I can see that."
"I don't want to hurt her hurt her," Collum went on. "But just enough to, well, show her that I'm not like her. That I don't think that much of the way she acts."
"Even though you still have feelings for her?" I blurted out. Collum flushed.
"Well, a bit. I don't expect to..." He cleared his throat. "This might help with that, too."
"So you want to date a half-human to piss off your demon purist ex?" I said. "Just so I have this clear."
"Well, I mean, it wouldn’t exactly be a real relationship, but we’d sure need to make it look like one so, in a word...yeah," Collum said.
Ooookay then. I nodded. It wasn't that I was not sympathetic, but at the same time...
"So what's in it for me?" I said. "I mean, not to be too blunt about it. You seem like a nice guy, Collum, but you have to admit, this is kind of a huge ask. Besides, I'm trying to focus on school and stuff now, and..."
Feeling the heat from Raines, I cut myself off before I added "and investigating whether or not one of the professors has it out for me."
"No, no, I realize that," Collum said. "I know it's a lot and a very strange thing to ask. I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it'd help you, too. I know some of the demons here are giving you a hard time..."
I looked down at the ink spots on my skirt. I guess if I was going to have a fake boyfriend, I'd want him to be the type who was there with a handkerchief whenever the school bully pranked me.
"So maybe if you had a proper demon boyfriend, they might not so much." He shrugged. "I dunno. Sounds a bit stupid when I say it aloud."
I thought back to Fulguration the other day. Teddy looked so miserable. And what had he said?
I just wish we could have Camilla insurance or something.
Maybe there was no such thing literally, but this might be just as good.
I shook my head. Wait. What the hell was I saying? I didn't have time for a relationship, fake or otherwise. Besides, and more to the point, I was already soul bound to...
Another wave of emotions hit me. Hot, and almost sharp, and the intuition hit me before I could even put words to it.
I glanced from one boy to the next: dark and brooding Raines, his eyes gleaming gold in the chandelier light, his tie perpetually loose at his neck, his shirtsleeves rolled, and then Collum, undeniably handsome, kinder looking, but still with a deep strength in his eyes.
Of course. Raines was encouraging Collum. He wanted this fake relationship because he didn't trust me to keep my distance and avoid arousing suspicion about the two of us. He wanted this because he didn't think his stupid warning conversation from the other day with me was enough. He didn't trust me after all—soul binding or no.
"I know it's stupid," Collum said. "Mate, we've just dragged her here for nothing," he said to Raines. Then, to me: "I'm sorry, Nova. This is terribly embarrassing. I've just made a real fool of myself."
"It's fine," I said. "I mean, I don't think it's embarrassing. It makes sense, in its own weird way." Sort of. As much as anything at Hades Academy made sense. "But I still can't do this. Not on top of everything else." That seemed vague enough to explain without delving in too deep.
Something tugged at my chest—Raines's feelings, of course.
"Yeah," Collum said. "Really am sorry."
"It's fine," I said again. I glanced around the study room. "So how do we...get this thing down?"
Raines groaned, and rolled his eyes. Collum, who it turned out was actually polite, unlike his friend, showed me over to a small lever by the door.
"Do you want to do the honors, or shall I?" he asked.
I smiled. It was nice of him to be polite, even though I'd just made myself the second girl to reject him in as many weeks. Raines could certainly do with taking a leaf out of his book.
"I want to try." I wrapped my hand around the lever and tugged, but it was stuck. Or too heavy. I tugged again, not wanting to admit my weakness, but at the same time, seriously not getting anywhere.
"Here," Collum said. "May I?"
He placed his hand just below mine, so that the edges of our fingers just brushed. An electric crackle went up my spine, and for once, it was a feeling all my own. I hoped Raines felt it.
Collum pulled, and I pulled, and together, we got the lever down to the bottom. The carriage-room slowly descended back to ground level, and the door clicked open.
Collum moved his hand. I hadn't realized he'd had it there so long.
"Thanks," I said.
"Not a problem," Collum said. "You need any machinery help, you know where to find me."
I smiled. And...blushed, I think. It was so strange to be treated nicely by a guy at Hades for a change.
I didn't hate it.
"Let's get out of here," Raines said. "It's late."
Collum gave me a little nod. "Bye, Nova. Thanks again for...listening."
I nodded back. "Anytime."
I said it almost reflexively, just as a polite thing to say.
But, I realized, I may have meant it.
Chapter Eight
As it turned out, “I can’t date, I have to study” was less of a bullshit excuse than I’d anticipated.
Everyone was taking the primary probation super seriously. I guess we all collectively realized that if Hades got shuttered, we’d all be shit out of luck. I might have been the only one who’d end up literally homeless, but when I thought about it, it made sense that everyone else would be pretty bummed to lose it too. If you work your whole life to get into demon Harvard, you’re not just going to let them close the place if you can help it.
As the days wore on, you could feel the tension in the air. The common room, which last semester was full of students laughing, playing games, and covertly drinking Hellwater, was now more of a quiet study space. Sure, you still had some light socializing, but everybody wanted to do well in classes to make both themselves and the school at large look good—which meant everybody was hitting the books harder than ever and really paying attention in class. And us first years were extra stressed because our next exetasis was only a few days away—which, hooray. More time with Wilder.
I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Or if it was even me feeling it. I still wanted to know—had to know—if he had tried to sacrifice me to Chaos. But since he wasn’t teaching any of my classes, that would have to wait for a few days too.
So yeah, number one on the agenda were my classes. I hadn’t been lying to Collum. And I kept telling myself as much. Because the weird thing was, something about the idea intrigued me.
But then again, were those even my feelings? And if I thought about it too much, was I basically giving Raines what he wanted—an in to my feelings? I definitely wanted a good way to shut Camilla up for a while, but there had to be a better way.
The other thing about studying harder was that my classes were beginning to ramp up in terms of complexity. Applied Methodology of Terror, which had started with such simple exercises as making scary faces and making the freakiest noises we could, was now moving into uncharted territories.
“Always rem
ember that you are a fear-making machine!” instructed Professor Riggs, in a voice that was somewhere between football coach and drill sergeant. “You are designed to scare! All the legends and scary stories humans tell, whether they be about ghosts, vampires, or things that go bump in the night—they’re all thanks to us. We are the things that go bump in the night!”
This was a revelation I almost couldn’t believe hadn’t been shown to me yet. Maybe the demons just saw it as too obvious. All the monsters and supernatural creatures that stories were told about were real in a sense—it’s just that they were the result of demon illusions. Ghosts, for example, weren’t actually ghosts, but a creation of demon magic. Honestly, learning this blew my fucking mind.
“Your main tool in creating terror will, of course, be the transmorph,” Riggs continued. He paused a moment, before suddenly, weird shit started to happen. Thick fur grew all over his body, his shirt ripped open, and his hands turned to claws. He flashed a smile, showing off his brand new fangs. He was a werewolf—well not actually a werewolf, he just looked like one.
Almost as quickly as the demonstration had started, it was over. He was standing at the front of the room, looking the same as ever, with his shirt still totally intact, although a little ragged around the collar. I guess that explained our gym uniforms.
“Damn,” somebody called from the back of the room. “That was good.”
“Damn right it was good,” Riggs said, as he continued to pace around the room like he hadn’t just taken on the appearance of an honest-to-God werewolf. “The most important thing to remember about transmorphs is that they’re one-hundred-percent illusion. I didn’t actually turn into a werewolf there, I merely projected the image of myself as a werewolf. Sure, those claws and fangs looked frightening, but they were absolutely harmless projections. We don’t need to hurt humans. We just need them to feel terror.