“Don’t be silly, of course we breastfeed. Our breasts may fill, but they fill with blood.” Almost the second the words were out, she regretted them. Stephany cringed, waiting for the onslaught.
“Blood. Really?” Tanya cupped her own ridiculously big mammary glands. It was a wonder the female could even walk upright with those mammoth things on her chest. Especially since she was so small and weak. They had grown even larger since she fell pregnant. Something the kings were obviously enjoying.
“Yes,” Stephany nodded. “Once the baby is born, you will feed him or her from your breasts on a blood only diet for the first year or so. At that point, the child will start to try and drink from your vein, may even bite on your breasts, he or she will eventually start to eat the odd bit of solid food.”
She chewed on her lip for a few beats. “My breasts will fill with blood?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Tanya sighed, eyes up in thought. “Oh god. It’s going to be really hard to keep Zane and Brant from helping themselves whenever they feel like it. There’ll be nothing left for the baby.” Tanya looked thoughtful.
“I wouldn’t worry, there will be plenty to go around. I need to warn you though that you’ll be really thirsty.”
“It’s going to be all fun and games, especially if it’s a boy. I’ll have three demanding men in my life.” Tanya smiled wistfully while rubbing her hand over her belly, which still looked exactly the same. Scrunching her eyes, her hand froze in mid rub. “Wait a minute.”
Stephany held her breath.
“Why are your breasts leaking already?” she shook her head.
“I don’t think I’m pregnant.” It wasn’t possible. Maybe there were one or two…sort of…signs, but it wasn’t possible. She hadn’t come into heat, so she couldn’t be pregnant.
“Give me another explanation then.”
Stephany tried hard to think of something on the spot. She shrugged. “I’m sick.”
“You called me here to ask my opinion on why your breasts are leaking. I think you are preggers. Now tell me about the sex. Was it good? How did Lance manage to convince you? How the hell have you guys kept it a secret?” She nodded her head knowingly and giggled almost slyly. “I can tell I hit a nerve. You definitely had sex. Now spit it out or I’ll go and ask Lance.” Tanya practically bounced on her chair. Her eyes wide, the excitement palpable.
Stephany’s heart sped up. “Don’t you dare. I don’t want anyone to know about this.”
Tanya’s brow creased. She stopped bouncing and she put her hands up. “Wait just a freaking minute, let’s go back to my question…why are your breasts leaking and mine aren’t? You’ve only been acting weird since you got back from the wolves, so you probably had sex soon after your return which means I’m further along and mine aren’t leaking yet.” She pulled her robe open exposing one large, rounded, ultra-plump globe. Mimicking Stephany’s own action earlier, her friend squeezed on her nipple. “See, not a drop of blood in sight.” She frowned. “Why are your boobs leaking milk and not blood?” Tanya shook her head, dark chocolate locks flying about her face. Then her eyes widened and she visibly paled. Inhaling sharply, Tanya tugged her robe closed and clasped her hands to her mouth. “Maybe there is something wrong. We need to get you to one of the healers. You had sex, you have leaking breasts but not with the usual blood. I’ll have Zane call Lance.” Tanya pulled out her cell phone. “I’m sure you’ll want him with you since the two of you are back together and all.”
“I rutted with a shifter,” Stephany blurted. She couldn’t have Tanya call the kings right now and if Lance found out…oh gods, this was a nightmare.
“Oh my freaking god…What did those wolves do to you? You poor, poor thing.” Tanya sobbed, a tear tracked down her cheek.
Stephany completely froze when Tanya threw herself at her, cradling Stephany to her breast like a child. “You were celibate, which means”—she made a tortured sound—“they raped you, didn’t they? You’re pregnant with a…a…wolf.” Her friend was racked with terrible sobs. “Oh, what you must have gone through. What you are going through even now.” She pulled away, her face red and tear soaked. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Then she grit her teeth and shook her head really slowly. “Don’t worry, Stephany. We will make them pay. Those mangy freaking beasts will wish that they were never born.”
“Wait. You have it all wrong.” Stephany pulled away. She couldn’t bear to see the pain and anguish in Tanya’s eyes. “I wasn’t raped. It was consensual.”
“Rubbish!” Tanya squeezed Stephany’s knee. Sniffling, Tanya continued. “You’ve been through a traumatic experience. It’s not uncommon for victims to want to protect their attackers. To even empathize with them.”
Stephany looked her friend straight on. “I wasn’t raped, Tanya.”
“Bull. Shit—”
Stephany cut her off, not wanting to hear another word. “Please don’t patronize me. I was not raped. I fell in love, okay? I know I wasn’t with the alpha for long, but I fell in love. We couldn’t get enough of each other and I miss him every day.”
Tanya’s mouth dropped open, her eyes bugged out of her skull. She made a squeaking noise when she tried to talk.
“It just happened. He is really amazing. A really good male and I think he fell for me just as hard.”
Tanya took a deep breath. “You can’t be talking about the alpha wolf. The male that wanted to kidnap and rape me so that I wouldn’t be eligible to become a vampire mate, leaving the covens without any heirs.”
“His name is Ward,” Stephany half whispered.
“Did I mention the part about raping me?” Tanya clenched her fists. “Mating me against my will?”
“Ward would never have raped you…never.” Stephany held her friend’s gaze, determined to clear Ward’s name.
Tanya’s brown eyes were wide. “Why did he send his wolves? The way he looked at me that day from across the fence was with such hatred. Like he wanted to hurt me.” She shuddered.
Stephany pulled a lock of hair behind her ear. “It wasn’t directed at you. He has a bit of a problem with the kings…it’s not something I want to get into right now. Trust me please when I tell you that he is not the type of male that would have hurt you in any way.”
“He wanted to kidnap me…it’s the whole reason you were taken in the first place. The alpha had you kidnapped when he couldn’t get to me. You’ve lost your mind, Stephany. How could you rut with an evil monster like that?” Her eyes had narrowed and her brow was creased.
“He isn’t evil or a monster. I was kidnapped by accident, I wish you would listen to me. You know me, Tanya. Do you truly believe that I would be with a male after all this time if he was the way that you are describing?”
Tanya didn’t respond.
“Answer me.”
Tanya’s stance softened. She breathed out softly. “I don’t know.”
“Ward is a good male. One of the best I have ever met. I didn’t know him for long, but I can safely say that he would never have done those things. He is sorry that he joined with the elves. Sorry he trusted them at all.”
Tanya looked thoughtful for a second. “That can’t be.” She shook her head. “Brant and Zane mentioned that King Katar had said that he should never have trusted the wolves. He blames them. Stated this was all their plan in the first place.”
“I believe Ward.”
“Oh my, you are smitten. It is affecting your ability to think rationally.”
Stephany had grown to love Tanya. She was full of life, enormous fun, a great friend, she could be trusted with a secret, but even though she was world wise, she could also be really naïve. Right now, Stephany felt like giving her a good, hard shake. Instead, she took a deep breath. “You’re right.” She paused, “I am smitten, but I am also still very capable of rational thought. I haven’t seen Ward in two months. Don’t you think some of the fog would’ve lifted by now?” Tanya inhaled, intent on answering, but Stephany didn
’t give her a chance. “Ward specifically said that he trusted someone on the side of the elves. He was definitely talking about a specific person. That person talked him into the whole fiasco and then betrayed him by backing out. Ward had no reason to lie. I believed him. He was…is a good male, I fell for him. Hard.” The last part came out in a whisper. It was difficult to admit these feelings.
Her friend nodded. “Oh, honey.” Tanya squeezed her arm. “Are you going to tell him about the baby?”
Stephany felt her blood turn to ice. A heavy weight settled on her heart. She shook her head. “No. I will need to tell Brant…”
“That’s fine, hun. You know that we are all here for you. The coven might be a little shocked at first, but they will get over themselves. The child will be welcomed.” Her eyes widened and her eyebrows raised. “I just realized. We’ll be pregnant together and raise our children together!”
Stephany put a rein on her own emotions. If she started crying now, she might never stop. “No, we won’t. I am not physically able to birth a child.”
“There must be some way. Surely…” Tanya turned pale. “What are you saying?”
“My pelvis is too narrow, my hips too close together. I have been advised that I would never be able to birth a child. My own mother died while birthing me. It is a miracle that I survived, and that was only because of the quick thinking of the birthing mother who cut me from her womb, using a silver blade, while my mother took her last breath. Most infants die from the silver that poisons the mother’s blood. I somehow managed to survive its affects. Like I said earlier, it is a miracle.” Stephany swallowed hard, watching tears roll down Tanya’s cheeks. Crying could be infectious, she needed to work harder to keep herself under control. It wouldn’t do to fall apart.
“I’m so sorry, Steph. I never knew. I’m a terrible friend. What happens now?”
“I need you to help me inform the kings. They will take it badly.”
Tanya’s lip wobbled. “Are you going to die?” She started crying again, using her hand to wipe away the falling tears.
“No.” Part of her wished that she could. Deep down inside, she had wished to fall in love and to have a family. To feel her womb quicken with life. To birth a child that would fill her days with happiness and laughter. She took a deep breath. “We need to inform the kings because they are the only ones that are able to give permission to perform an abortion.” Her voice hitched at the last word. A fist clenched her heart. What choice did she have? It was that or sure death for both her and the child.
“No. You can’t.” Tanya looked at her with eyes filled with horror.
“I don’t have a choice. Do you think I want to destroy this child?” Her voice was high pitched, so she paused for a few beats before continuing. “If I allow this pregnancy to proceed, then there is a very good chance that I would end up dead. The child would have even less chance of survival. Even if I chose to give my own life for that of the child, there is no guarantee. Odds based on previous statistics are that both of us would die. A C-section with a silver blade is the only way and silver for new-borns is like the kiss of death. Like I said earlier, it is a miracle that I survived my own birth.”
“What if they used a regular knife? Why does it have to be silver? There has to be a way.”
“Don’t you think we haven’t tried everything? Our species is slowly dying.”
Tears kept falling down Tanya’s cheeks. “I don’t understand.”
“We heal too quickly. Even if a device is used to hold the wound open, we heal around it. Silver keeps the wound from healing but it poisons the blood and because of that the infant perishes.”
“Natural birth is the only way?” Tanya sniffed holding a wad of tissues to her nose.
Stephany nodded. “Which is not an option for me. The most likely ending will be death for this child. I have no other choice but to terminate.”
“I’m so sorry, Stephany. I can’t imagine.” Again she unconsciously clutched her belly in a protective manner. “Know that I am here for you. I’ll hold your hand through everything. If there is anything you need, any time, you tell me.” She blew her nose into the tissues.
Stephany nodded. “Like I said earlier. I want you there when I tell the kings. I am nervous about their reaction, especially Brant’s.”
“You tell me when you are ready. I’ll arrange everything.” Tanya gave her a tight smile. Her eyes were red rimmed and her nose was running.
“It needs to be soon. I was thinking tomorrow morning. Although there is still time, I want to have the procedure within the next day or two.”
Tanya nodded. “No problem. I will book the boardroom.”
“No.” It came out a little harshly. “I would prefer it if I could come through to your tower. I worry about someone overhearing. This stays between the four of us.”
“You know you can trust me.”
“I know.” Stephany tried to smile, but it only made her hurt more inside.
“Let me run you a nice bath. The baths you ran for me always helped soothe me whenever I was going through a tough time with Brant and Zane.” She squeezed Stephany’s arm. “Let me do the same for you.”
“No…” Stephany shook her head. “Don’t be silly. I’ll be fine.”
“Bull.” Tanya stood and made her way to the bathroom. “You are going to let me take care of you for a change.” She glanced back. “If there is anything you need, you just ask.” Her friend disappeared into the bathroom. There was a sound of water running. Within a few minutes, Tanya put her head around the door jamb. “Your bath is ready.”
Stephany scented lavender. “Okay, thank you.” Stephany stood and waited to let Tanya out.
“Hello! I said the bath was ready.”
“You don’t have to stay.” Stephany had hoped for a little alone time. She needed to come to terms with…her pregnancy. No, not her pregnancy, her pending abortion.
“You need to talk some more. I don’t want you to be alone at a time like this. I’ll stay for a bit.” The human was only trying to help.
Stephany nodded as she walked to the bathroom. Tanya made herself comfortable on the closed lid of the toilet. Toeing off her low heels, Stephany removed her blouse which she folded and placed neatly on the vanity. Next, she removed her bra and undid the clasp on her skirt. She had to suck in her breath because the button was tight. She folded this too and placed it on top of the blouse. Off came her stockings and panties next, which she placed neatly on the growing pile.
“Um, Steph…”
She glanced at Tanya.
“Your tummy is definitely a little distended. Even if I hadn’t known about…your pregnancy, I would probably still have noticed now that you are naked.”
It was an automatic reaction when her hand went to her belly, feeling its roundness. Tanya was right. It was no longer completely flat. How had she not noticed? Emotion welled in her. The child inside her was already big enough that she was showing. She shouldn’t be showing yet. Oh gods. The termination was going to be her only option. She couldn’t allow herself to hope for anything different.
Not going to cry.
Not going to cry. She grit her teeth.
“I need to be alone now.” Her voice had a desperate edge, which Tanya must’ve picked up on because she nodded.
“If you need me…” Tanya stood.
“I swear, I’ll call,” she whispered, her voice a bit shaky. “Tomorrow morning, eight o’clock in your tower.” Thank blood she’d managed to calm herself down enough to give Tanya a tight smile.
“I’ll see you then or sooner if you need me. I mean it, Steph.”
“Thank you.”
Tanya took a step towards her, but then seemed to think better of it. She gave a sad smile and left. Stephany waited until she heard the main door click before turning to face the mirror. Her hair had grown quickly, it was just past her shoulders now. Long overdue for a cut. She’d rectify that as soon as possible. Her breasts were definitely fu
ller, her nipples dark and distended. Turning to the side, she let her hands drop to her sides. A bump. Small, almost unnoticeable but very much there. She let out a small sob.
Pregnant.
Her greatest wish and her biggest nightmare. Stephany squared her shoulders, turning from the mirror. She stepped into the tub, sitting with her knees clasped to her chest. Thank the gods she wasn’t far along yet. It would be a simple procedure. Another small sob managed to escape. Quick, easy. The baby couldn’t be much more than a clump of tissue at this stage. Stephany buried her face into the tops of her thighs, hugging herself tighter.
Just a little clump of tissue.
When the tears came this time, she didn’t try and stop them. She needed to get them out. She wasn’t sure how long she had sat there, only that the water was cold when she was finally able to pull herself together enough to get out.
Chapter 9
So emotionally drained when she finally made it to bed, Stephany was still surprised that she’d slept so soundly. Waking only when the morning light spilled in through the cream colored curtains.
It was a struggle to find something to wear. None of her business skirts or dresses fit anymore. Now that she knew about her condition, her symptoms felt like they had worsened overnight.
Finally, she chose a loose fitting summer dress and made for the northern tower. Already five minutes late, she slowly ascended the stairs not looking forward to this confrontation.
York smiled as she approached. “They are expecting you. I have been told to wait at the bottom of the stairs.” His brow was creased and he paused, clearly waiting for an explanation.
“Important royal business. I’m sure you understand.”
“Of course.” He nodded and moved to the stairs. Stephany waited until he was out of sight before knocking on the door.
“Enter,” Brant said.
The suite was large like a well-appointed, open plan apartment. Tanya immediately walked towards her and hugged her as soon as she entered. Zane moved towards them, folding his arms across his chest. “What is going on?” His dark eyes narrowed on her.
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