by Jules Wake
‘That would be amazing, because I really don’t know where to start on those. The high heels she can forget and I was going to ignore the ice cream machine. And I’ve quite a few ideas for her; she’s been quite diligent in dropping not so subtle hints.’
‘She’s a smart cookie.’
‘She is. Very smart. She came up with a suggestion for you.’
‘Me? What?’
‘If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?’
‘You don’t have to get me anything.’
‘No, because you’ve done nothing for us, nothing noteworthy. You swan in, eat all our food, sleep in the guest room, using our heating and hot water … By the way, have you heard from your plumber …? Not that—’
‘He’s coming first thing tomorrow morning, seven-thirty, to fit the part. I’ve left him a key. And then I’ll be out of your hair.’ I said the words brightly, although there was a funny little wrench in my heart at the thought of going back to my empty place.
‘Won’t it take a long time for everything to warm up?’ Nate’s hold on me tightened and he kissed my cheek. ‘You might want to stay here another night?’
I turned to face him. We were almost nose to nose and I couldn’t look away from his intent gaze. ‘Nate, I have to go back some time’ Being sensible sucked. A lot. I could so get used to staying here with him and Grace.
‘Do you?’ he asked and I heard the plea in his voice.
‘You’re making this harder,’ I whispered.
‘I’m just being honest.’ He ducked his head, studying my hand as he traced my knuckles with one careful index finger. The gentle touch sparked tiny shivers of awareness and my breath stalled. One of us had to be sensible; I always thought it would be him.
‘What? You want me to move into the spare room?’ I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
He sighed. ‘Not exactly. I’m rushing things, aren’t I? But it just …’ his fingers skated back over my hand ‘… it feels right … for me. It’s Grace that I worry about. I don’t know what the precedent is with a young girl in the house.’
We both lapsed into silent thought before I said, turning my hand over and linking my fingers through his, ‘We said we’d take it slow. I think taking up residence, even in the spare room, at this stage is moving at warp speed.’
‘You’re probably right, but it’s so nice having you here.’ He kissed the top of my head.
‘Watch it, you might get covered in glitter,’ I warned him, snuggling in, enjoying the warmth and comfort of his arms around me. ‘I feel like one of those chimpanzees; people have been picking bits of glitter out of my hair all evening.’
He laughed and turned me in his arms and kissed me, a long, slow, languorous kiss where time seemed to slow and there was nothing in the world to do but enjoy the slow caress of skin on skin. At some point I was aware of him taking the wine glass from my hand and us sliding down the sofa, and then we were lying full length, his body pressing into mine and mine lifting in response with slow-building urgency. His hand stroked my face as we kissed and my arms wound around his neck, pulling him closer, revelling in the heavy weight of him.
I could feel the hot sweet ache between my thighs building and the hard length of him pressing into me. I moaned into his mouth and in response he groaned, ‘Viola, you’re driving me mad.’ His hand slid beneath my dress, which had ridden up to be indecent anyway, and he stroked my thigh as I sucked in a desperate breath. ‘Nate,’ I breathed, struggling to be sensible. ‘We can’t … Not …’ But his kisses were so delicious and the heaviness on top of me so warm and welcome. ‘We … shouldn’t.’ His fingers trailed higher and shamelessly I pushed my hips forward in blatant invitation. I wanted his touch. ‘Yes, yes, yes.’
Oh, God, that litany of pants was really me. Someone had to put the brakes on. We were in his front room. The curtains weren’t even closed. There was a small child upstairs.
One of us had to be sensible. The warning voice got louder and I peeled my mouth from his and tugged at his hair. ‘Nate. We have to stop.’
He winced and sighed. ‘You’re right. It would be bad enough if Grace saw us like this … let alone where we were headed. I’m sorry.’ He nipped at my lip one last time and shifted, helping me to sit up.
‘I think we probably need to go to bed.’
‘That sounds an excellent idea.’
I poked him in the ribs. ‘Don’t get any ideas.’
Reluctantly, he stood up and pulled me to my feet. I took the wine glasses and bottle downstairs, while Nate checked the doors were locked and switched off the lights and then, hand in hand, we climbed the stairs, both automatically heading towards Grace’s room.
Peeping in the door, we could see she was sleeping peacefully, spreadeagled in her bed, one foot hanging over the edge, poking out of her duvet. Nate tucked it back in before dropping a quick kiss on her forehead. She never stirred once, her blonde curls a halo around her pillow and her lashes brushing her cheek. My heart contracted at the sight of her, so small and slight, content and happy in her sleep.
Together we backed out of the room, pulling the door to.
Nate stopped outside my door and gave me another one of those heart-warming lingering kisses. ‘Goodnight, Viola.’
‘Goodnight, Nate.’ I put my hand on the doorknob and we shared a rueful smile.
‘This is the right thing to do,’ I said, knowing it was, and patted his cheek.
‘I know, but it doesn’t stop me wishing otherwise.’
‘Once I’m home we can do things that normal couples do when they first start dating. We seem to have jumped in right in the middle.’
‘I don’t know that I want to be a normal couple.’ Nate frowned and lifted his hand to my face. ‘You’re special and this is special.’
My heart fluttered in my chest at his words and the tender look on his face.
‘’Night, Nate,’ I said, giving him one last kiss and pushing open my bedroom door.
Chapter 26
Oxford Street in December is best avoided unless you go midweek at nine-thirty in the morning when the shops are just opening. Armed with my comprehensive shopping list, I was outside John Lewis at nine forty-five, ready to do battle.
The window displays shimmered and glittered with all manner of gorgeous things. A grand glossy wooden dining table filled one window, set with jewel-bright glassware, a white snowflake-printed runner, matching napkins tucked in crystal-covered napkin rings and fine china.
It reminded me that I still needed to think about Christmas dinner. Sort out the turkey. I could invite Nate and Grace. Two more wouldn’t make a difference, not on top of fourteen. They’d have to bring chairs. It would be more fun, I was sure, than the two of them having Christmas on their own, not that Nate had mentioned Christmas Day. I ought to ask him if they had any plans.
I moved onto the next window, which was filled with angular blank-faced mannequins modelling ultra-sophisticated partywear: dramatic lamé dresses with plunging necklines, demure little black diamanté-trimmed numbers and flowing silk palazzo pants in scarlet. Another window, my favourite, featured an old-fashioned brass bedstead with gleaming finials and rails, from which colourful stockings hung. On the bed was a plump feather duvet in a white cover decorated with silver snowflakes, and piles of soft grey throws and cashmere blankets as well as cushions and bolsters heaped in attractive groupings. This final display reminded me that I needed to add a stocking for Grace to my list.
As I stepped inside, the fierce warmth of the heaters hit me full in the face; I’d need to take my coat off in a few minutes. It was the same every year. Once through the second doors, I paused to take a moment. I loved everything about Christmas but especially the festive decorations. Everywhere I looked the make-up counters were piled high with gift sets: perfume, skincare and make-up as well as mock gift boxes wrapped with gold paper and silver ribbons. The escalators rising from the middle of the floor were covered in swags of green ivy lit up w
ith tiny gold lights flickering among the foliage.
Within five minutes I had present number one nailed. A Thierry Mugler Angel perfume set for mum, her favourite. Then Urban Decay goodies for my older nieces. Easy-peasy. Next up, quick turn to the left. Into the accessories department. A silk scarf, a Hermes imitation, which I knew Bella would love. Leather gloves, chestnut and dark brown with little buttons for Tina. Downstairs to the home department and menswear. A Crew shirt for Dad, whisky tumblers for the cousins’ husbands and a pair of gorgeous coloured gin glasses for both Tilly and Leonie. I spent a long time pondering a pricy navy blue cashmere scarf for Nate but then decided that maybe it was a bit boring.
Moving up the escalators, I headed for the toy department. I had inside information from the cousins as to what their younger daughters all wanted.
Of course, when I got to the toy department, the display was completely befuddling. Thankfully, Bella’s text had been quite specific. I picked up the LOL doll sets as requested and then phoned Nate, hoping that he’d pick up.
‘Hey,’ he said in that soft, just-between-us tone that immediately made my pulse jump.
‘Hey. How are you?’
‘Better now.’ Something fizzed inside me at the timbre of his voice.
I smiled, feeling deliciously warm, but pulled myself up. One of us had to be practical, otherwise this might dissolve into phone sex.
‘I’m in John Lewis,’ I said.
‘Oh,’ he said with a definite touch of disappointment.
‘In front of the LOL display.’
‘Scary.’
‘Just a touch.’
‘Did you want me to come down there and rescue you?’
I laughed. ‘No, I think I’ll survive but I know Grace has got some. I think she’d really love one of these sets. You wanted more present ideas.’ I took a photograph of one of the sets and WhatsApped it to him.
‘Viola … I’m a bloke. If you think they’re suitable, I trust you. She does seem to love the creepy little critters. I was always more of a Barbie man myself.’
‘Nate Williams, wash your mouth out.’
‘When I was ten. My tastes have matured since then.’
‘Forgiven. So shall I pick one of these up?’
‘Yes, please, and let me know the damage so I can transfer the money into your account.’
‘No problem. When do you want me to bring them round? It’ll have to be one night after Grace has gone to bed.’
‘How about Saturday? Grace has got a play date in the afternoon.’
‘Perfect, I’m at Bella’s in the morning. I’m on cake-decorating duty but I could come over at about two?’
‘Oh.’ I could hear the disappointment in Nate’s voice. ‘I thought maybe I could take you out for lunch again.’
‘Sorry, but I have neglected her of late. I got a very snippy text from her when I asked her what the girls wanted for Christmas.’
‘Fair enough; we have taken up quite a lot of your time.’
‘Nate, I don’t begrudge a minute I spend with you and Grace. You know that.’
‘I know. I’m just feeling hard done by because you’ve gone home and I won’t see you now until Saturday and …’ His voice dropped.
I closed my eyes. I knew exactly what he was thinking.
‘… we’ll have the house to ourselves for a few hours.’
‘What time’s Grace’s play date?’
‘I’m dropping her off at twelve.’
‘Lunch sounds nice.’
‘I thought we could go to that nice wine bar on Elgin Avenue,’ he teased and I could picture the smile on his face
‘Or …’ I paused, smiling myself now ‘… we could stay home and I could bring lunch from Mr Christian’s …’ I named a landmark Notting Hill deli ‘… and I could wear my best lingerie.’
‘That …’ he lowered his voice to the sexy tone that sent a buzz rushing through my system ‘… sounds like an excellent idea, Miss Smith.’
Shopping in a heightened state of sexual awareness and anticipation probably isn’t conducive to managing your budget very sensibly. I spent a fortune on a new lacy bra and matching pants, one of those demure diamanté-trimmed little black dresses, and gaily flung twice as many gifts in my basket as I’d planned to buy for people, including the cashmere scarf for Nate because I had a sudden fantasy of him wearing nothing but that and me tugging the ends of the scarf to bring his naked body closer.
By the time I left the store, laden with bags, I felt extremely hot and bothered and it had nothing to do with the store’s heating system.
Next stop the Disney Store. Oh my God, the place was mind-boggling. Who knew how hard it would be to choose an Elsa dress? There was the original shimmery iridescent aqua blue or there was the simply gorgeous deluxe dress (from Olaf’s Frozen Adventure apparently) a deep purpley-blue velvet number with a fur-trimmed hood and a chiffon over-cape, or the new sparkly dress from Frozen II, which I wanted for myself.
I almost texted Nate to ask him when Grace’s birthday was. Then I decided I would buy her the latest dress and Nate could buy the deluxe one, or maybe it should be the other way round. Or maybe I’d buy both and let him choose which one he wanted to give her. Yes, that was the best idea. My poor head was spinning with the weight of all the decisions by the time I finally took both dresses to the sales counter.
‘Did you find everything you were looking for today in the store?’ asked the shop assistant, her sparkly antlers nodding as I handed over my credit card to her fur-covered hands.
‘Oh, yes,’ I said, beaming at her. Thankfully, she didn’t think I was a complete crazy lady, though, in that outfit, a Disney franchise mash-up where Sven the Reindeer met Chewbacca, she had nothing to complain about.
‘They get such a kick out of these outfits. My daughter, she’s all grown up now, but she had a Snow White dress, clean wore it out, she did.’
‘I know.’ A pang hit me as I imagined Grace’s face when she saw the dresses and I could picture her wearing either one of them, dancing around the kitchen and blasting out Let It Go at the top of her voice. She was going to love them and also the little Olaf that I’d bought her, because it reminded me a little of the night we’d built Mr Snow, and a sparkly tiara that I couldn’t resist and the Disney sticker book for her stocking. I hoped Nate wouldn’t think I was spoiling her.
‘I wish I’d known you were going to the Disney store,’ said Bella as I piled my booty in her hallway on Saturday morning in readiness to hand it over to Nate. It had been stored in my lounge for the last few days. ‘Ella and Rosa have gone Frozen II mad.’
‘Sorry. I didn’t think.’ I pulled off my scarf and coat and hung them up on the old-fashioned coat rack on the wall.
‘Oh, well, next time let me know.’
I followed her down the tastefully panelled hallway towards the kitchen.
‘Actually, there’s one in Covent Garden, near where you work, isn’t there? I’ll have to give you a list.’
‘There is,’ I said coolly. ‘Or you could go online.’
Bella laughed. ‘And that’s told me.’ Pouring two mugs of coffee, she handed one over and sat down on the stool next to me. ‘I’m sorry, Viola.’ She looked genuinely penitent and I had no idea why.
‘For what?’
‘I know you’re a bit mad with us all.’
I shrugged and was about to deny it, when I changed my mind.
‘Yeah, I was.’
She winced. ‘We’ve hardly seen you the last couple of weeks. I spoke to Tina. She said the same. Said you cancelled going over to help with the wreath-making. I guess I kind of got used to you being so available and … I’m sorry, I think I probably took advantage. Tina thought something had upset you.’
I let out a mirthless laugh. ‘You think?’
The truth was Grace’s needs were greater than theirs. She had taken precedence. Not seeing my cousins hadn’t been deliberate, even though I was cross with them.
Be
lla looked worried now. This was not quite how she’d expected things to go. She’d been expecting me to brush things off with my usual let’s-not-rock-the-boat avoidance of confrontation. Like Grace, I’d perfected the if I behave well and please everyone, perhaps they’ll have a little more time for me approach to life. Seeing how carefully Grace tried not to step on the cracks, her careful adult concentration to try and be perfect, had made me see how, over the years, I’d fallen into the same trap. I wanted to please all of the people all of the time and often ended up doing things for them rather than myself. The only area of my life where I’d stuck to my guns had been with my music.
I looked directly at her. ‘When I asked for help with Mum, neither of you stepped up.’ I felt a little bubble of anger boil up. ‘You were both too busy.’
Bella swallowed and played with the handle of her mug. ‘Yeah, that was a bit shitty.’
I rounded on her. ‘It was a lot shitty. In the hospital not one of you offered to help, not you, not Tina or your mum, even though none of you work. I’m fed up with everyone’s assumption that because I’m single and because I work irregular hours, my time is less important than anyone else’s.’ I was on a roll now, years of resentment spilling out.
‘I never ask for help and the one time I did … nothing.’
‘I’m sorry,’ said Bella. ‘It was … you’re right; it was shitty. We’re all sorry.’
I shrugged. I wasn’t about to say it was OK because at the time it hadn’t been OK. ‘Ursula helped.’
Bella winced. ‘Thanks.’
‘What?’ I asked. ‘I was being honest. In fact she was amazing. Went out of her way to be helpful.’
‘Ever heard of sparing someone’s feelings?’ Bella asked with an attempt at humour.
‘Yes … but you don’t deserve it.’
‘OK, I’ve got the message. We all need to be a bit less “Call Viola” whenever we need the cavalry –’ she saw my face ‘– or think we need the cavalry. But can I just say in our defence, you are brilliant with the kids, at being there when we need you, and that’s why we call you because you’re one hundred per cent reliable and never let us down.’