by Emmy Grace
Where’s my Regina when I need her?
We could Mystery Science Theater 3000 them to death if she were here.
The rumbling of an engine that sounds like it’s seen better days draws my eye to the other end of the parking lot. It’s a truck. An older one. I assume it belongs to Pike, and I know I’m right when the passenger door opens and Liam unfolds himself.
I watch as he says something to Pike, gives him a wave, and closes the door. He looks up when he starts this way and his eyes collide with mine through the fingerprint-smudged glass.
One side of his mouth tips up.
Mine makes a mirror image of it.
His gait is strong and even. I’d never guess that he put stitches in his own thigh just a little while ago. Still gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about that wicked needle going through his skin.
Hurl.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Felonious and Jonah who pay me exactly zero mind. They’re lost in each other’s eyes and smile, and probably some thoughts that I’m super glad I’m not privy to.
I meet Liam before he can swing through the door. We stay outside to talk.
Through the window, he glances over at the booth I just vacated. “So, that’s Felonious.”
“Unless it’s a Fembot, I guess so. Although with that girl, I rule out nothing.”
“Huh. Not what I expected.”
“Yeah, me either.”
He brings his eyes to mine. “Did you eat?”
“Not yet. I haven’t even ordered.”
“Come on. Let’s go get the back booth. We can talk and get a bite.”
He presses his palm to my lower back. Such a gentlemanly thing to do. Except for it doesn’t make me feel ladylike. It makes me feel fluttery and goofy and all sorts of things that just spell trouble.
I hadn’t noticed that the booth Liam usually claims is empty. I find that interesting. Do the people of this town leave it empty for him? Or is it just coincidence?
LouAnn or SueAnn just nods at it as we pass. Clearly, everyone knows this is his spot.
As we pass, her lips quiver as she tries to keep her smile at a non-psychotic level. “Be right there to get your order.”
I slide into the closest seat in the booth, giving Liam the side that faces the door. He likes that one I’ve noticed. Probably because it faces the door. It’s the FBI guy in him, I suppose. Face the door, assess the patrons, and be alert for threats and all that jazz. Maybe he sits in this booth and plans exit strategies that include killing all these sweet townsfolk with a fork and knife or something. How am I to know?
One of these days, I’m going to aggravate Liam into telling me some stories from his bureau days.
But that day is not tonight.
Tonight, we have killer fish to fry.
“So, what did you find?” I ask as soon as we settle in.
He leans further toward me to answer, his lips not moving very much with his words. “Found a pregnancy test in the trash.”
“Whose trash?”
Liam nods toward Jonah.
I start to turn around and glare at him, but Liam makes a noise that stops me.
“I asked Pike who this person spent time with. There was nothing official, but there were whispers of late-night rendezvous and stolen kisses, all that crap. Would you like to take a guess who the girl was?”
Considering that this pertains to Rodney’s murder, and considering who Rodney was seeing, only one name makes sense here.
And it could very well be the nail in the coffin for the boy on stilts.
“Allanda.”
17
Liam nods once.
“And you think…you think she’s…” I glance around and lean even closer to Liam to whisper, “pregnant?”
“Two pink lines.”
One of the Anns comes to take our order. We both get a double bacon cheeseburger with fries and a milkshake. I preempt Liam. “Don’t say a word. I haven’t eaten all day.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything. I like that you eat.”
“Of course I eat. I’m not a super model.”
“Probably a good thing. I can just imagine how those photo shoots would go.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’d probably trip over the light cords and electrocute yourself right on camera.”
“Are you saying I’m clumsy?”
“You said it, not me.”
I stare at him.
He stares back.
I shrug. “There are worse things. At least I’m not mean.”
“You’re definitely not mean. Just a bit of a menace.”
“Maybe you should stop complaining. I got your truck home in one piece, didn’t I?”
“Barely, from what I hear.”
“Now what does that mean?”
“I ran into Clive as I was leaving with Pike. Said Ruthie got a call from a woman who said she’d been run off the road by a vehicle matching my truck’s description.”
I feel blood rush to my cheeks. “I was concentrating on driving. I didn’t even see the light turn red. And she was going too fast. You wouldn’t believe how—”
“It’s fine, Lucky. At least you didn’t maim anybody.”
“I didn’t even actually hit anything. Or anybody. I just misjudged a curb or two,” I confess sheepishly.
Liam shakes his head.
Our food arrives and we are silent for a minute or two as we squirt ketchup, say grace, and gobble down the first few bites.
“Pure deep-fried heaven,” I mumble through my overfull mouth.
“I think I just felt my cholesterol rise by two hundred points.”
I’m nodding. “Yes, but it’s so worth it, right?”
He agrees, albeit a little grudgingly. “Probably.”
Once I’ve got a few bites of food in my empty belly, I’m able to focus on Liam’s alarming news.
“So, what are we going to do? If Jonah did this, we can’t leave him alone with Felonious.”
“No, we can’t.”
“Should we call Clive?”
“He can’t do anything until we have proof. You know that.”
“True. We just need to get some.”
My heart is a little heavy. I actually like Jonah. He seems like a good kid. A bit of a cocky flirt, but otherwise decent. I’m genuinely surprised to hear Liam thinks he might really be a killer.
“What if they’re only friends and Allanda just took the test over there?”
“That’s possible, I guess. But what about the rumors that they were seeing each other behind Rodney’s back?”
I slump. “I forgot about that.” I keep thinking. “What’s weirder is that if Rodney was Jonah’s dad, which it really looks like he might’ve been, how grossly bizarre would it be that Jonah was seeing his dad’s girlfriend?” I curl my lip in disgust at first, but then I have a thought. My mouth falls open on a gasp, despite the handful of fries I just stuffed in it. “I just had a thought.”
“That you need to chew those fries before you choke to death on them?”
I slide him a look that would give him hypothermia if he were human. “You’re a turd.”
He hikes up a shoulder, unconcerned. “I’ve been called worse.”
“What if she was seeing both, and what if she got pregnant and didn’t know which one was the baby daddy?” My eyes widen. “I mean, imagine if you and your father were seeing the same person, and she turned up pregnant. How crazy awkward and awful would that be?”
Liam’s face scrunches up. “I’m trying to eat here.”
“Seriously, though, that could be enough motive for a person to do something drastic.” I slump again. “Dang it. Maybe he did do it.”
“Look, don’t get too upset yet. We’re a long way from proving any of this. First of all, we need to establish that it was definitely Allanda’s test. And then that she was definitely seeing Jonah. No sense jumping to conclusions until we at least get that far.”
“Y
ou’re right, you’re right. Why am I such a negative nelly?” I pause to narrow my eyes on Liam. “It’s you! You’re rubbing off on me.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. Your moody mojo is sticking to me like gnats to a sweaty armpit.”
“That’s a charming visual.”
“Have you ever tried to be happy and light and positive? Maybe you should. You might like how you feel.”
“Life has a way of reminding me that it’s not all puppy dogs and rainbows.”
“It’s a choice, Liam,” I offer quietly. “Life is never perfect, and won’t ever be. But we don’t have to let it make us bitter and miserable.”
He tosses his crumpled napkin down on his empty plate and studies me across the table. “I’ll try focusing on the things that make me happy. How’s that?”
I smile, satisfied. “Good. If I can help, let me know. I’m an excellent upsider.”
“Upsider?”
“Yeah, someone who looks for and finds the upside of things. Upsider.”
“You just make this crap up, don’t you?”
“Of course.” I grin broadly as I sip my milkshake.
Liam sighs, but he gives. Just a little. Maybe like an inch or so. “Fine. You can be my upside.”
“Upsider,” I correct.
“Right.”
“Okay, so what’s next? Besides figuring out a way to separate those two?” I tip my head toward the booth behind us.
“Maybe separation won’t be necessary.”
“What are you thinking?”
“Maybe we should all go back to camp and see what kind of reaction we can get from Allanda.”
I nod in appreciation. “Ahhhh. You’re good. Evil genius good. I approve.”
“Glad to hear it. We’ll go suggest it when you’re finished with your shake.”
I slurp down the rest of the sugary liquid, stopping at the end to clamp both hands to my aching temples and squeeze my eyes shut. “Brain freeze, brain freeze!” I groan, stomping my feet.
When I open my eyes, Liam is shaking his head at me—again—and sliding out of the booth. He tosses a few bills onto the table and offers me his hand. I take it because I’m seeing spots and I think I might be deaf in one ear.
He leads me to Jonah’s booth, and makes his suggestion. Both agree wholeheartedly.
We step back for them to get out of their booth and walk ahead.
“Head back to Lucky’s,” Liam says when we push through the door. “We need to get my truck.”
Neither of them seems to be paying attention, but they must be because they start off in the right direction.
Ah, young love.
I just hope one of the lovers isn’t a murderer.
Liam and I walk in companionable silence back to my carriage house where his truck is parked. Jonah and Felonious are up ahead of us, chatting like they’ve been friends or had crushes on one another for a thousand years.
I feel a tiny pang of envy. It’s pretty small because at this point, we don’t know for sure Jonah’s not a murderer. Or a cheater. So, it’s hard to feel too envious. But the effortless, careless way they’re just jumping right in to their feelings reminds me of what life would be like without my blessing-which-is-a-curse.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Liam says softly from my side.
Before I can think better of it, I answer honestly. “Just thinking that I envy how simple that is.” I nod at the couple in front of us.
“What is?”
“Their attraction.”
“If Jonah turns out to be a killer, it’ll be anything but simple.”
“But right now, she doesn’t know that. She just knows how she feels and nothing else matters.”
I sigh deeply. It’s swallowed up by the darkness that holds us closely as we stroll along.
“I see what you mean, but it’s a fairy tale. Life isn’t that simple for anyone. Not really.”
“Not life, but love. Love should be that simple.”
“Love is more complicated than life.”
“I know, but it shouldn’t be that way. It should be simple and effortless, ya know?”
“Feelings are. It’s the consequence of acting on those feelings that poses the problem.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”
“We all feel what we feel. Right or wrong, for better or worse. We like what we like, love who we love, hate who we hate. It is what it is. It’s what we do with those feelings, and what we let them do to us that matters.”
I shift my eyes over and up to Liam. “You ever gonna talk about her?”
He doesn’t bother pretending not to know to whom I’m referring. “Maybe one day.”
“Will I still be alive for this ‘one day’ of which you speak?”
“Possibly. If you behave.”
“So, you spilling your guts to me is merit-based?”
“Hey, that’s an idea!” he exclaims with exaggerated excitement. “That could actually be a decent trade if I’m careful. It could be like a Felonious situation. You do what I want in exchange for information.”
I balk openly for a few seconds.
“Have you ever seen a grown woman levitate in slow motion and kick a grown man in the side of his thick, bull head?”
The corners of Liam’s mouth deepen, but he doesn’t actually smile. I can tell he wants to, though.
“Can’t say that I have,” he replies easily. “Have you ever seen a grown woman body slammed to the sidewalk by a grown man who’s faster and stronger than she is?”
“Can’t say that I have,” I mimic.
Neither of us says anything else until we reach the truck.
Liam holds out his hand and I put his keys in it. He opens the passenger door, moves the seat forward, and motions Jonah and Felonious into the jump seats in the back of his extended cab. When they’re settled, he returns the seat to its position and then pivots toward me.
With his eyes on mine, he wraps his hands around my waist and lifts me up into the passenger side, not letting go until I’m securely perched on the seat. He removes his hands a little too slowly, stares up at me a little too long before stepping back to shut the door.
My body temperature rises by one million degrees.
As I reach for my seatbelt, I think of that Super bowl commercial for Tabasco sauce, where the guy eats some and when a mosquito bites him, it then flies off to explode in midair.
I feel like the mosquito.
Like I’m about to explode.
Dang you, Liam Dunning.
Dang you.
18
Liam parks in the same spot behind the circus tent. We get out and start toward the camp. We walk in front Jonah and Felonious this time. They follow slowly, seemingly oblivious to the world around them.
Right up until Allanda comes shooting out from between two tents and hurls herself at Jonah. “You lying, cheating, son of a —”
Before she can scratch his eyes out, Liam grabs her around the waist and pulls her away from Jonah.
“What’s your problem?” Jonah seems genuinely surprised.
“How could you?” She’s positively seething.
“Hey, we weren’t exclusive. You of all people should know that,” he reminds, still not acting emotionally.
“I should never have protected you. I should’ve let them—”
Allanda stops herself, as though just realizing that she not only has an audience, but she has an audience that includes two people who have been looking into the murder of her lover.
“Protected me from what?” Jonah asks.
Allanda’s eyes flicker to Liam and then to me, and then back to Jonah. “Nothing. Never mind.”
“No, what were you going to say? Protected me from what?”
“From them,” she spits, jamming her finger angrily at us.
“The new knife thrower and her spinner? Why would I need protecting from them?”
“Because they’re investigating Rodney’s murder.”
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Jonah frowns over at me briefly, and, even though he might well be a killer, I feel like a heel for misleading him. “I still don’t understand why I would need protecting.”
Allanda’s mouth opens and closes like my betta fish, Jaws’ when he comes to the surface to suck up sprinkles of food.
“I…I thou—” she bumbles and stammers, her eyes darting from face to face as she scrambles for a convincing lie. This girl knows something. That’s clearer than ever before. “Never mind. I don’t know what I’m saying.” She visibly tries to calm herself, pressing her fingertips to her forehead and uttering a shaky laugh. “I’m just really tired.”
I go out on a limb with my next words. Sometimes taking a chance works best when tensions are high and people are already knocked off balance.
“That’s because you need rest. Pregnant women need more sleep.”
I’m a little shocked by what happens next. It blows our hastily drawn theory out of the water. It gives me a lot of relief, though. I really didn’t want Jonah to be guilty.
“P-pregnant?” Jonah steps forward very slowly, approaching Allanda like she’s a skittish horse and he’s the cowboy that’s going to mount her.
Okay, that was a really graphic and inappropriate analogy, but you get my drift.
Allanda covers her face with her hands and starts to cry. I see her nod just before Jonah slips his hands around her shoulders to draw her toward his chest.
“I thought you knew,” she mutters miserably around her hands.
Jonah rubs his palms up and down her back in big soothing circles. “I had no idea. Is it…?”
At this point, I’m not sure the two even remember they have an audience.
Allanda leans back and stares up at him with tear-filled eyes. She says nothing. And it gets quiet.
Inch by inch, Jonah loosens his grip and pulls away from her. “It’s his.”
“No, no, no,” Allanda pleads, reaching for him. “I don’t know for sure that it is.”
Jonah scrubs a hand through his longish blond hair. “We…we need to find out.”
Allanda drops her head, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Jonah turns to me. “How did you know?”
“There was a pregnancy test buried in your trash can. It doesn’t take a genius to deduce what probably happened.”