by Jordan Deen
remembered that from Friday. I guessed it was better he brought that up instead of how I left him drunk and half naked. “No, thank goodness. Mr. Tinkles went home this morning.”
“If you ask me, owning cats should be … outlawed.” I couldn’t tell if he was joking. “You know, an Amendment should be added to the Constitution that says it’s illegal to own them, make them contraband.” Alex glanced at me and then started laughing. “I’m kidding.”
“Oh.” It didn’t seem he was kidding; he sounded completely serious. I guess I’d have to get to know him better to understand his sense of humor.
We pulled up in front of my house and sat for several moments in silence. He drew circles on the back of my hand with his index finger, my heart beating faster and faster with every loop.
“Are you mad at me for Friday?” His question shocked me, although I wanted to ask him the same thing.
“No, I figured you’d be mad at me.” I said not wanting to make eye contact, trying to block out the memory of the hurt look on his face when I ditched him. Alex threw me off when he started laughing.
“No way. You told me you don’t drink. That was my fault. I think I went a little too fast. I just…” He hesitated and urged me to look at him with his hand stroking my arm. “I feel drawn to you in a way I can’t explain. I keep forgetting that not everyone has had the experiences that I’ve had in my life. I know I freaked you out on Friday.”
“I don’t drink because of my dad.” I blurted out. I hadn’t even told Jillian that my dad had a problem with alcohol. “My parents, they get into these horrible arguments and my mother lets things go because of my dad’s drinking.”
I looked away from Alex, staring at my knees, the door, the dashboard, anything else other than at his eyes. I didn’t want him judging my family, but wanted him to know I didn’t drink out of choice, not because there hadn’t been opportunity. Alex squeezed my hand tighter. “I’m so sorry.” He let out a sigh, “I feel like a total asshole now.” He stared over the dashboard of his car; I could see the slight dimple in his cheek. I squeezed his hand, trying to comfort him.
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.” He didn’t look at me. I reached over to his face and ran the back of my hand down his smooth cheek; it felt like he had recently shaved. I also realized that he smelled irresistible, like he had changed cologne.
“I won’t offer you alcohol again.” Alex finally looked at me; his dark eyes were golden under the orange glow of the streetlights. “I wish you would’ve told me before.”
I looked away swiftly, “That isn’t something that I normally share with anyone. I just wanted you to know that I wasn’t being a goody two-shoes when I turned it down.”
Alex let out a small laugh, “The last thing that I thought of you was that you were a goody two-shoes. Trust me.” He slid his hand up the side of my neck to rest firmly at my jaw line. “You confirmed you weren’t when we were in the bedroom.” His voice was inviting. “Don’t be embarrassed. Look at me.” Alex urged me to look at him. “I realized Friday that we have incredible chemistry and I’m attracted to you regardless of if we had sex or not. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do, so I’m perfectly fine that you wanted to stop. Alcohol or no alcohol, it doesn’t matter why you stopped.” His eyes, his touch, and his voice, they all made me want to melt into the seat. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine softly at first, but increased with intensity or maybe I increased the intensity. I’m not really sure. Once we started I wanted more. Before long, we were fully making out in the front seat of his car. He pulled at my shoulder until I was almost sitting on the center console, one more tug and I was in the seat with him.
Come here. He whispered and pulled again. I straddled his lap as his strong hands pressed into my back. The feeling of his heartbeat against my chest was faster than one of Travis Barker’s solos. The temperature increased in the car by at least twenty degrees as his hands slid under the front of my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my hips. My thoughts were jumbled trying to catch up with my body’s feelings of want and need.
I’m crazy about you. Alex whispered as he kissed a trail down my neck. I couldn’t think of anything to say. He completely overtook my senses; his breathing, his lips, the taste of his skin and his tongue, they were the only things I could think about right now.
First it was your aunt … now your parent’s. He said as he pulled my body into a tight embrace. Both of my parents stared out the front window at the car. I really hoped that it was dark enough that they couldn’t see I was in his lap and we were making out with the promise and wanting of more.
“I better go.” I half grinned as I was having trouble breathing. Reluctantly I crawled back over to my side of the car. I really wished I could rewind time and change my decision to run on Friday. I’m sure Alex could completely replace my memories of my terrible first time with Nate.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I nodded and escaped from the car, wanting to skip all the way to the door, but resisted, because I knew if my parents just saw what I was doing, I would be a dead girl, and that was no cause for celebration.
c h a p t e r
NINE
To my surprise, or rather dismay, neither of my parents mentioned Alex dropping me off tonight. Mom, Dad and I sat at the dinner table eating the first meal my mother had made in weeks or maybe even months. My parents talked about taking a trip over the Christmas holiday to see extended family in Washington. I half listened to the conversation until she brought up my birthday.
“What do you want to do for your eighteenth birthday?” Mom said spooning more mash potatoes onto her plate. I’d be turning eighteen during the Christmas break.
“I don’t really have any plans.” I hadn’t had time to even think about it.
“Do you want to throw a party?” The last party I had was during elementary school. You know back in the days when the teachers made you give valentine’s to very kid … that was the last time I had more than a handful of friends.
“No.” I responded trying to think of more than five people to invite: Jillian, Michelle, Jamie, Alex … maybe. That would be one lame party other than Jillian and Alex. Does inviting relatives really count as a “rager”? I smirked.
“What’s so funny?” Dad grinned.
“Nothing. Maybe I can just have Jillian over.”
“Oh that’s nonsense. You’re going to be eighteen. You can’t think of something more … interesting to do?” I really couldn’t. We could go to the beach, have a barbeque, and maybe have a bonfire. But even then I could only think of a few people that I’d invite . . . and really, who wants to go to the beach in winter?
“Well there is plenty of time. A decision doesn’t have to be made tonight.” Dad smiled; saving me from Mom’s inquisition. I helped my parents clear the table and loaded the dishwasher for Mom. Grant, fat and happy from his meal of hamburger and rice, lay on his bed in the kitchen.
“I swear that dog has doubled in size.” Mom put leftovers into the fridge; she used one of her feet to move the dog’s paw out of the way.Grant’s sharp teeth were poking out from his dopey smile.
“Mom, he’s full grown. If anything, he is just gaining weight.”
“Yeah, because you’re spoiling him.” Dad interrupted the conversation. “Speaking of which, any luck on finding his owner? Or a home for him?” A low rumble came from Grant as he turned and lowered his head onto his paws, glaring at my dad.
“Dad …” I started to object.
“Let’s not go into that tonight.” My mother rubbed her hand down my dad’s back quelling the argument. “So Alex brought you home tonight?” Shit. So much for thinking I’d get away without talking about this. Please don’t let this turn into a sex talk, especially in front of my dad.
“Yea.” I tried not to be too excited or withdrawn in my response.
“What about homecoming? Do you think you’ll go this year?”
“Mom … this is all n
ew right now. I don’t know.” I grabbed a glass to head back upstairs and tripped over Grant’s large paws that were now inconveniently lying right in my pathway.
“I know I’m being an overbearing mother. It’s just …” She paused and looked at my father. They lingered in their stare until she finally added, “You’ve never even brought a boy home. We can’t help but feel excited that you’ve met Alex and he is such a nice boy. The right type of boy.” I let out a small hmmmp. If she only knew what he had me feeling in the car… I’m sure she wouldn’t think he was such a nice boy.
My skin tingled with the thought of Alex’s hands and fingers pressed against my hips earlier. “I’m going to bed. I’m tired.” I knew it was impossible to read minds, but just in case, I wanted away from my parents before I thought of ripping Alex’s shirt off of him.
I hadn’t realized that Alex meant he would pick me up the next morning. I awoke to the loud sound of his Camaro pulling up to my curb. Jillian showed up slightly afterwards. I was running late thanks to dreams that bounced back and forth between Alex’s body and Brandon’s. I thought the images of Brandon would subside, but they hadn’t. This morning I’d make the most of my time in the office and try to track him down. The yellow sheets were separated out by date and name, so I hope I could narrow it down and find him.
I rushed around my room throwing