The only reason I wanted to pay for graduate school was because I thought my mom prostituted herself to her boyfriends for us. Kind of an insane theory, now that I think on it, but what was I supposed to believe? Given the evidence and the way she hid my father from me, extreme theories were in order.
I managed to save a small amount of money working at the casino, but not enough. The grand I won in the mudder I donated to the Washoe Foster Care Program. Lewis dropped out of the race to help me and it’s what he would have done with the money. I owed him, even if he didn’t think so.
“Helping with school expenses would be great. Thank you, Jeb. But I plan to find a job to pay for my living expenses. I’m an adult and it’s my responsibility.”
“Whatever you like, but there will be a trust in your name after you graduate.”
“Jeb.”
“It’s what Simone and I are doing for our other daughter—whom we’d like you to meet at your earliest convenience. She’s three and has a bit of a temper, that one.”
I smile. When I first heard I had a half-sibling, I was angry that my father had moved on without me. Now all I feel is gratitude. I’ve always wanted a sister.
We finish our meal and Jeb walks me to my car. He hugs me goodbye. It’s a little awkward, but I’m getting used to his strong dad hugs. He kisses the top of my head. “See you in a couple of weeks.”
Jeb’s retired and says these trips are no big deal. Simone has visited as well. It’s a strange new world.
He stops on his way to his car and turns around. “Hey, what do you think of getting in a round of golf next time?”
Obviously, Mom mentioned we golf together. “Sure, only—don’t take this the wrong way, but what’s your handicap?”
“Three. You?”
I sigh in relief. I love my mom, but golfing with her is torture. It’s mildly better now that I have Fred to commiserate with. “Five.”
His head tips to the side as if he’s considering. “You know, with your athletic abilities, you could—”
“Dad, psychology grad school, remember?”
He breaks into a slow smile and I realize what I said.
I called him Dad.
All these years without one and in a matter of weeks, not only do I have someone I can point to as the source of my paternal genes, but also he feels like a dad. Wild.
“I won’t push pro sports, but I may sign us up for a father-daughter golf tournament sometime, so polish your clubs. I could use a good player on my side.”
I laugh. “Deal.”
The chalet appears so peaceful from the outside, aside from the parking lot of cars in the driveway. The front door catches on Tyler’s giant duffel and I force it open, shoving several times until the bag moves out of my way.
Jaeger, Cali, and Lewis are sitting on the couch, Tyler in the recliner, and all four are shouting at the television. Popcorn kernels litter the floor. Empty beer cans teeter in a pyramid beside the couch.
What is this, a man cave? What happened to our girls’ den?
Lewis finally looks up and smiles. I walk over and sit on his lap. There’s no other place besides the floor, and he doesn’t seem to mind the easy access as he slides his hand up my leg. He hugs me close.
My major epiphany since the mudder was that I didn’t actually need to master the race to gain confidence. I simply needed to face my fears. My biggest challenge: letting Lewis in.
“What’s going on?” I whisper.
“We’re watching Australian rules football,” he says.
“Mark!” Tyler shouts.
“He fumbled it!” Cali counters. The guys jeer and yell at the screen.
Apparently, a mark is when the ball is caught in midair. The game itself seems to be a combination of soccer and American football.
I cuddle Lewis’s jaw. “This sport is crazy.”
“Isn’t it great?” he says, completely serious.
I shake my head and look at Cali. “Do you know what’s going on?”
“No idea. I just say the opposite of what they do and it gets them riled up.” She jams a fistful of popcorn in her mouth, and I realize she’s not even looking at the television. She’s goading the guys and that’s her entertainment.
I love this girl.
Lewis’s pocket vibrates, zinging my ass. “Gahh.”
“Sorry.” He lifts me with one arm and reaches for his phone, settling me back on his lap. “What’s up, Dad?” Lewis’s body jerks at a tackle on the screen before he stills and looks down. “Where did Mira go? Which place?” He pauses, then, “Shit.”
After the family intervention with his parents, Mira agreed to visit a counselor. She’s been going three times a week and making progress. She no longer scowls at me in group settings and seems to be gaining ground on working through her problems.
Lewis squeezes my hand, then gently lifts me and stands. He walks to the side of the room, away from the television, and exchanges a few more words with his father before pocketing his phone. Our gazes connect and I can tell something is really wrong.
I walk over. “What is it?” He pulls me close.
Across the room, Tyler lowers the volume on the television, his gaze trained on Lewis, his body on the edge of his seat. Cali and Jaeger are looking over as well.
Lewis peers at the group, his arm still holding me—because no matter what happens, we’re in this together now. “I just got off the phone with my father. Mira’s missing, and I think her mom’s involved. The last time she went missing and I found her with her mother…”
Mira had almost been killed I mentally fill in.
Tyler curses, and we all turn. “I think I know where she is,” he says.
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Mira
Six Years Ago
My fears have always gotten in the way of what I want. But not tonight.
Alicia Keys’s “No One” blares through the custom sound system of Holly Walker’s living room, her house packed with faces I recognize from the hallways of our high school.
The reason I’m here, when I normally avoid these parties like the plague, is because Tyler Morgan said he was coming.
I rode with Zach, a good friend from the Dresslerville Washoe reservation, who attends high school with me and my foster brother, Lewis.
Lewis is a study-o-holic. He doesn’t come to these things, but Zach makes it to all the parties. He’s currently homing in on Ella or Bella—some girl from my English class whose name ends with an a, like those of all the popular girls.
Technically mine does too, but if people know me, it’s for the wrong reasons. Bitch and trash have been linked to my name.
“Zach, you look like you’re ready to pounce,” I say. “There is such a thing as finesse. You could chat with the girl. Get to know her.”
Zach cocks his chiseled jaw to the side. “Why would I want to do that? Ruins the mystique.”
For as long as I’ve known him, Zach has kept girls at arm’s length. Emotionally, not physically. The guy gets around. I can’t fault him. I do the same thing—the emotional distancing, not the hookups. That rumor is false.
He tips his chin up. “You okay here? I’m about to get my swerve on.” He flexes his chest. “How are the pecs? Lookin’ good?”
I shake my head. “You’re lame.”
He hugs me in a friendly headlock. “Love ya, Mir. Go hook up or something. It does a body good.”
My shoulders stiffen. He has no idea how close he is to the truth.
Zach gives me a little shake. “Loosen up, girl. You got all tense.”
I share everything with Zach a
nd Lewis. Except my love life. That would just be weird.
Zach’s manwhoring provides hours of banter, but it’s a different story to talk about me and boys. That’s where having guy friends who are like brothers gets iffy.
“Would ya leave already?” His lingering is making me nervous, and I’ve got enough on my mind.
Zach kisses his biceps and winks before striding off, angling his wide shoulders past the bodies crowding the living room.
I peer out, searching for my own quarry.
Since Tyler arrived an hour ago, I’ve been watching him like a stalker chick. Not really my style, but I’m running out of time. He’s leaving in a few weeks for college, and if I don’t make a move now, I’m afraid I’ll lose my chance.
I run a shaky hand through my long, dark hair, and pull a wavy handful over my shoulder, the ends brushing my upper waist. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch the guy next to me checking me out.
I have no interest in other guys. Only one person holds my attention, and he’s the one I walk toward.
I’m like Zach tonight, in hot pursuit.
Normally, I let men come to me. I may not be popular with the girls, but with boys it’s different.
Lewis and Zach treat me like a sister, but with other guys… Well, they want something. Not that I put out. Despite what some people say, I’ve only kissed a few guys, fooled around with a couple of them, but never given it up.
I’m not sure why I’ve held on to my V-card. No one expects it of me, and I don’t feel pure. It’s possible that living with Lewis and his family has rubbed off on me. That I’ve grown standards without realizing it. But I think I haven’t had sex when the opportunity arose for a different reason.
There’s only one person I want to be with.
My advisor paired me with Tyler as a math tutor over a year ago. I might have requested him when I found out he was looking for students to assist.
The kindness behind Tyler’s clear blue eyes when he scared away the group of mean girls in junior high left a lasting impression. I’ve never forgotten him.
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember that day. He’s never mentioned it, and I didn’t remind him during our numerous study sessions together.
I watch as Tyler checks the downstairs bathroom just off Holly Walker’s living room. He’s bulked up since junior high—become broader in the shoulder and filled out in the chest. He’s taller than most of the guys at our high school. Handsome too, but that’s not why I like him.
There’s something about Tyler that’s different from other guys. I’m aware of his every move, the way he smells like peppermint and bike oil from the mountain biking he does, mixed with his laundry detergent. He’s laid-back, but attentive, and I like hanging out with him as much as I do with my friends. More so.
When Tyler shows me equations while we study together, I want to smooth my finger over the calluses on his thumb where he holds his pencil too tightly.
Sometimes, when he’s not looking, I’ll stare at the dark stubble on his chin that shines reddish in the light, and wonder what it would feel like to rub my lips against that stubble and kiss his neck.
It’s distracting.
Tyler will leave town soon. I should wait it out and ignore my feelings.
But I won’t.
I’m going to do something I’ve never done before, and open up. Long enough to lose my virginity to the boy I like.
After trying the downstairs bathroom and finding it locked, Tyler shoves a large hand in his jeans pocket and makes his way to the second floor.
I glance around to make sure no one’s paying attention, and follow him up the stairs.
Tyler is a year older than me, but two grades higher, because he’s super smart and skipped freshman year. Holly’s party may be the last chance I have to make a move before he graduates in a few weeks.
The second floor is crowded as well. Tyler moves up another flight, and I stay back until he reaches the landing.
There are four levels to Holly’s house. Her parents are loaded, their home equipped with an indoor hot tub and an elevator. A gazillion bedrooms litter the upper levels. It can’t be too difficult to get Tyler alone.
He knocks on a third-floor bathroom and enters, closing the door behind him. Most of the party is on the lower floors. Few people wander the top two, so there’s privacy up here.
I walk quickly to the end of the hall and peek inside one of the darkened bedrooms. It’s empty, so I lean in and set my crossbody purse next to the door, closing it behind me.
My chest is pounding. I press my hand to it and breathe deeply, trying to get calm.
I’ve sensed something between me and Tyler. I don’t think he’ll reject what I have to offer, but it will be a challenge to make myself vulnerable around someone other than Lewis or Zach.
I tend to push people away. But Tyler teases me. He doesn’t take me too seriously, the way most guys do. Somehow that makes the idea of opening up easier. I wish I could have more with Tyler before he leaves, but I’ll settle for this.
Sex…with Tyler.
There goes my heart, racing again.
I swallow and try to compose my face, if not the vital organ ricocheting inside my chest. I walk down the hall and lurk outside the bathroom Tyler entered, psyching myself up for what I’m about to do.
A few seconds pass before Tyler exits with his head tilted down.
Now or never. I step in his path, bumping lightly into him.
“Tyler,” I say, feigning surprise. He grabs my arms to steady us, his face inches away. I smile coyly. “If you wanted to touch me, all you had to do was ask.”
Wow—lame. I need to work on my pickup lines.
His expression is blank, and for a moment, I wonder if I’ve botched it. This whole sexual aggression thing is harder than it looks.
“Mira.” His gaze softens, settling warmly on my eyes. “I thought I saw you downstairs.” He grins—which gets my heart beating faster than ever.
Most people think Tyler’s eyes are his best feature. They are devastatingly beautiful, but I have to go with his smile. It snares the deepest part of me, rendering me lightheaded and dumb.
That smile is a menace. And I can’t get enough of it.
My chest does a clench-flutter thing, my mouth twitching into what I hope resembles a happy expression. “How’s it going?” I say, as if this is the first I’ve seen of him tonight, though I’ve stalked him like a panther.
“Good. You been here long?”
“For a little while.” I grab his hand and tug him down the hallway, keeping my shaky grin in place. “Do you mind helping me with something? It’s just back here.”
His brow furrows in concern. “Sure, anything.”
Yet another reason Tyler is perfect. He spent ridiculous amounts of time helping me with math, until I didn’t just improve my grade, I aced the class.
Me? An A in math? It’s all because Tyler cares when few people have. As though he sees potential in me that most people think doesn’t exist.
I open the bedroom door and walk inside. “It’s just this way.”
Tyler chuckles nervously, but he steps into the room behind me. The light from the hallway frames his tall, athletic build. He plucks at his T-shirt and peers around. “So—what’d you need?”
I reach behind him and shut the door, bathing the room in pitch. I press my chest to his and wrap my arms around his neck.
“Just this.” I kiss him.
His lips are still at first, his body tense. Then his mouth melts. Enflames. A kiss that sends a shiver through my belly.
His tongue teases mine, hands tightening on my waist…
My breath hitches. This is a mistake. I should have picked a different guy. One who doesn’t affect me so much. I like Tyler, and when he leaves…
I pull away.
Tyler’s hands slide to my hips, without letting go. “Mira, what’s going on? I mean, I’m not complaining…”
What am I doing? I�
�m ruining it. This is what I’ve wanted for so long and I’m screwing it up.
Of course he’s wondering why his aloof tutoring student is hitting on him. I thought he liked me, but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure. Based on the intensity of that kiss, I think we’re good in the attraction department. I need to stop freaking out, and go with it.
“Is this okay?” My eyes have adjusted to the dark. I stand on tiptoe and kiss his strong jaw, trailing my lips down his throat, my hands wandering across his wide shoulders and chest to a narrow, flat stomach.
His breath catches and he pulls me closer. “Are you sure? I mean—I didn’t know.”
I silence that thought with another kiss, my mouth parting and taking whatever he’s willing to give.
Tyler is over six feet tall and I have to reach to meet his mouth, but he’s holding me firmly, his lips moving eagerly with mine, sending more flutters through my belly, loosening my body along with my nerves.
The more his kiss gives, the farther those flutters spread and migrate, running out of control. He tastes like breath mints, his lips soft and warm, caressing in a way that has my hands shaking against his chest.
Normally, I’d let the guy take control and stop him when he wanted to go too far. But despite Tyler’s eager mouth, his hands haven’t left my hips.
He’s a nice guy; what did I think would happen?
Obviously, I’m going to have to make the next move too.
I run my fingers beneath his shirt, against his warm, smooth skin, touching the contours of a toned chest, built from hours of after-school sports.
I’m just getting into fascinating chest terrain when Tyler pulls away. My fingers freeze and I look into his eyes, their brightness all but gone. In this light they are dark and murky with startling depths.
“Mira, what about downstairs? The party…”
Mountain Man Page 26