catches the tears
   for someplace else.
   46
   Night
   turbulent overhead clouds
   and a ripple of thunder.
   The traveler
   stung with tears
   sings of a faraway girl.
   Oh traveling
   is a kind of death,
   the village people hear it,
   lower their heads
   and quit their proud
   tales of adventure.
   47
   We’d been drinking.
   She noticed wounds on my skin
   from her own
   fingernails
   and bolted up jealously.
   Let go, she cried when I caught her skirt.
   Tear-streaked face averted
   lower lip quavering—
   who could forget
   what she said next?
   48
   O troubled heart!
   At the door of the hut
   full of hungry affection he dropped
   at these feet.
   And you denied him?
   Now anger and vanity come into fruit.
   Now love is a vagabond.
   Grief will be your only
   refuge
   through life.
   49
   Through tears
   she saw mist
   and the clustering
   rainclouds. If you leave…
   her voice trailed and she clung
   to my jacket,
   scuffing the parched earth
   where she dug in.
   What she did next
   no poet’s words command
   the power to tell.
   50
   Dear girl—
   My lord?
   Stop being bitter and proud.
   What does my bitterness do?
   Troubles me.
   You don’t mistreat me the
   faults are mine.
   Why tears and whimpering then?
   Can anyone see me?
   I can.
   And am to you—?
   My dearest.
   That’s why the tears.
   I am not.
   51
   That precious throat I was too
   shy to caress—
   when he kissed
   why did I drop my face,
   not look up, not even speak?
   Thoughts of her childish demeanor
   as a bride are weighed
   with regret.
   Her heart has flowered now.
   She’s tasted the sweet
   arts of the bedroom.
   52
   Unhappy women
   have used tears, threatening oaths,
   even collapse
   to prevent a lover
   from traveling.
   Darling, I’m a pluckier girl.
   Good luck and for your
   early departure
   I hope a propitious day.
   After you’re gone you may hear
   what I see fit to do with my
   love life.
   53
   She did not clutch
   his soft robe in a tendril-like hand,
   block the door,
   fall at his feet bitterly,
   or cry stay!
   As slow tenebrous clouds built in the
   sky and her deceitful lover
   was starting out
   she cut off his path with
   a violent
   torrent of tears.
   54
   The love god has made
   everything crooked.
   Apart from you I get thinner and thinner.
   It must be Yama the death god who
   counts out our days.
   How does a woman
   survive without trust?
   I tremble, darling,
   a single green leaf on a twig.
   NOTE: In Indian folklore, Yama serves as lord of the underworld. See the opening passage of Katha Upanishad for one of his early appearances.
   55
   Anger subsided.
   She held a moonlit face in both hands.
   I’d collapsed to the
   earth in despair.
   Suddenly across her breasts teardrops
   broke from
   thick lashes.
   We were at peace.
   56
   I was still at a distance
   and you rose
   smiling
   to greet with calm words
   my requests.
   In bed your eyes never softened though.
   Your coldness unnerves me.
   In that heart coils
   something deceptive.
   57
   Friends I no longer trust.
   I’m too shy
   to toss a playful glance
   at the one who fires
   my passion.
   People are quick to mock—
   the slightest
   indiscretion gets noted.
   Oh mother, where can I hide?
   The flames
   of desire ungratified
   wither the heart.
   58
   Hear his name
   and every hair on my
   body’s aroused.
   See his moonlike face
   I get moist like a moonstone everywhere.
   He steps near enough to touch
   my throat
   and pride is broken oh hard
   diamond heart.
   NOTE: In Indian folklore, the moonstone is said to secrete moisture when struck by a moonbeam.
   59
   Surely in all these houses
   girls are coming
   of age.
   Go inquire: do their
   lovers attend them
   the way this slave does?
   You’ve let the wicked
   speak into your ear and disfigure you.
   A man suffers like this,
   his taste for love
   grows bitter.
   60
   Love is a swollen
   river—
   urgent, nearly touching
   the lovers stand thwarted.
   Parents like embankments
   hold them back.
   Face to face
   motionless as paintings
   they drink love’s
   nectar through lotus-stalk eyes.
   61
   The sandal paste
   is rubbed from your lifted
   breasts,
   your lip rouge is smeared,
   the kohl’s gone from your eyes.
   Deceitful messenger
   your soft skin’s aroused
   and you can’t see your own
   sister’s despair!
   Tell me you went to the
   bathing tank
   not back
   to that scoundrel.
   62
   Her cheerless pinched face,
   lifeless hair
   falling like cinders about it,
   brightened the moment I returned
   from abroad.
   That slender girl’s mouth—
   who could forget the sweet moisture,
   we drank
   love so eagerly.
   63
   Though chafing
   she no longer struggles if I
   loosen her skirt.
   No scowling no
   biting the lip when her
   hair’s fingered.
   Even opens her
   limbs compliantly and does
n’t
   resist when I’m rough.
   What is this
   new expression of anger?
   64
   Thoughts and
   emotions disordered
   she wordlessly rebukes the lover
   who’s lowered himself
   at her feet.
   When he rises to go
   she’s quite limp
   eyes clouded with relentless tears—
   thin and unsteady
   she stands in his way.
   65
   Scarlet betel-nut juice
   spattered about,
   black streaks of sandalwood oil,
   smears of camphor,
   and imprints
   from the henna designs on her feet.
   In scattered folds petals
   lost from her hair.
   Every position a
   woman took pleasure from
   is told on
   these bed sheets.
   66
   Tell you a secret—
   he called me to a secluded seat.
   My childlike curious heart fluttered
   drawing near.
   He spoke in my ear
   breathed near my mouth
   then, friend, he seized these braids
   and sucked the
   honey off my lips.
   67
   Feeling the quick
   flush of her period she stood
   off from the bed.
   His eyebrows begged
   an intimate kiss,
   his lip trembled.
   Shaking her head no—
   clutching a shawl to bright cheeks
   the many glittering pendants
   at her ears.
   68
   Where to
   girl with bright thighs?
   There’s no moon tonight.
   Out to my lover.
   Not afraid, young in the darkness
   to travel alone?
   Can’t you see—at my side
   with lethal arrows the
   love god?
   69
   Tilted his head
   when she cast a vine-knotted
   brow at her rival.
   Saluted and stood
   abstractly off
   when somebody noticed.
   Her cheeks flashed like copper.
   He stared at her feet.
   Yet in front of the parents they
   managed to keep up
   appearances.
   70
   Long minutes her
   haunted eyes stared,
   with clasped palms she pleaded,
   clutched the white robe’s
   edge and held him in her torment.
   When he pushed past her
   and grimly started out
   she let go first her hold
   on life
   then him.
   71
   She sees smudges of lac on his brow,
   on his neck
   a bracelet’s imprint,
   on his cheek eyeblack
   and scarlet streaks of betel-nut juice.
   All morning long
   she toys with a red lotus,
   breathing
   deep into its calyx.
   72
   From this day on
   I’ll be no refuge for
   bitterness. I won’t even shape
   that man’s poisonous
   name in my mouth.
   Lady Night sheds
   bright laughing moon rays without him.
   Can’t I get through one
   monsoon day darkened
   with thunder?
   73
   Wickedly you drop
   your arms from my waist
   at the sound of somebody’s
   girdle gems.
   And I can confide in no one.
   My girlfriend’s in a whirl.
   She says it’s nothing.
   Your venomous words all butter and
   honey have
   softened her.
   74
   Finally their quarters
   are empty.
   She raises herself on the couch
   studies his face at length
   then searches his sleeping frame
   with her mouth.
   He isn’t asleep though—
   across one cheek
   runs a quiver.
   With a laugh he
   kisses his
   bride’s downturned face.
   75
   Why treat your man
   with contempt
   when he falls at your feet?
   You think he’s too
   slow at love?
   At her handmaid’s rebuke
   anger subsided. Tears pressed forward.
   Suddenly she couldn’t
   restrain them
   couldn’t let go.
   76
   His replies sounded forced
   when he got back.
   In his absence she’d
   grown lean
   and contrived not to notice.
   But fearful his evasions
   might reach the ears
   of judgmental friends, she
   cast her eyes quickly about.
   Nobody there.
   She breathed again
   deeply.
   77
   Look, delicate one, the bed is stained—
   intimate love
   has caked it with sandalwood powder.
   Pulling me onto his chest
   he bit my lip roguishly
   tore at my gown with his feet
   and again
   started our raptures.
   78
   To the family her
   endless tears,
   to parents her bitterness,
   affliction she’s left
   to the servants,
   stabs of anguish to friends.
   Tomorrow she may provide ecstasies
   today it is sighs—
   but be sure—
   she’s already handed around
   all the suffering.
   79
   Let this heart split,
   friend—
   let Kama twist my thin
   body however he likes—
   I’m done! Done with that man’s
   unreliable
   comings and goings.
   A burst of embittered words—
   then in abrupt alarm
   she searches with antelope eyes
   the hidden
   forest path.
   NOTE: Kama (Desire) is the god of love, known by other epithets as well, such as Ananga (Bodiless) and Madana (Intoxicator).
   80
   His lip
   recklessly bruised by some
   other girl’s tooth?
   She swings a yellow lotus angrily.
   He stands
   squeezing his eyes.
   Did a filament get in—?
   Remorse or is it
   shrewdness?
   She blows softly at his face
   through pursed lips.
   And no he doesn’t fall at
   her feet he just
   kisses her.
   81
   Those first days
   of untempered love
   my body and
   your body were never apart.
   The seasons turned.
   You came to be my cherished lord,
   I the desolate mistress.
   Now you’re the husband,
   I’m the wife, and the year
 &nbs
p; turns again?
   Life must be cruel as a thunderbolt
   if this is
   where it ends.
   82
   You’re determined
   to lead your whole life
   like a child?
   Develop some pride,
   take a risk.
   With a lover you need to be forthright.
   Her face whitened
   at her friend’s admonishment.
   Speak softly he’ll hear you—
   he dwells
   in my heart.
   83
   By the courtyard well
   she hangs on to a
   spray from the mango tree.
   Black female bees
   greedy for loose pollen are swarming,
   and I think the lady has wrapped
   her slight body with a
   bit of cloth.
   Her breasts tremble—
   she’s choking back the sobs
   in her throat.
   84
   You ignored
   the turning seasons of love,
   shook off counsel,
   and treated your
   lovers with cold disregard.
   The coals of betrayal flare in your
   own bare hands.
   The planet is burning.
   And now this intractable rage—
   like a wild
   animal wounded.
   85
   You’ve rubbed
   the feathery patterns from your
   cheeks with your
   own palms.
   Sighs have removed the dew
   that rises from within
   to your parted lips.
   Your breasts quaver but
   it’s from hard
   tears in your throat.
   Bitter girl, anger makes love
   to you not I.
   
 
 Erotic Love Poems from India Page 3