Workings of a Happily Ever After, The

by Nona Mae King

  Chapter Eleven:

  Rehearsals of Living

  I released a deep breath as I crossed my arms. I glared at the toes of my shoes, my legs stretched out as they were while sitting on one of the couches in the SeeD train car. If it had been up to me, I would have made Jaxon go to Balamb Garden himself to check in with Security and pick up his special security passes. Seifer made them a 'must have' for the rehearsals and the wedding/reception in two weeks. But Sally had asked, and I'd learned a long time ago that it was damn near impossible to say 'no' to her. I figured it was something about the way she asked me to do things. Sincere and... I don't know. Innocent, or something.

  It was sexy.

  I reluctantly smiled, and for what must have been the 1000th time that day, I started thinking about the honeymoon. Sorry, guys, but I couldn't help it. I mean, damn. I'd been playing it straight for almost 9 months, and every day I wasn't with her made the times that I was with her all the harder. You know?

  And then when we'd worked together on setting up the apartment? I scrubbed at my scalp and again tightly crossed my arms. It was going to be 'home'. A home like my ma had before my dad died. A home like Pop and Mom had. A home I hadn't ever thought about before meeting Sally. And, boy, did it feel great to think about it. I mean, two weeks from now I'd have a girl all to myself.

  She'd be mine.

  Not like a wristwatch or a pair of shoes or anything. That's just stupid. But... Hell. I don't know. Sally'd be a... a rock, I guess. Something that never changed. Well, not really 'changed', but was there. You know? Something I could count on. Yeah. It felt good to know that. Like it was... Like it was safe. Like how I felt when I knew Balamb Garden waited for us to lay the smack down and then get back home. Now I would have it every day. After work. On the weekends. In the mornings. At night... I smiled. Yeah. I'd be able to just roll over and have something to hold on to. To remind myself why I put up with people's shit every day.

  It was for people like her, and damn if that didn't make me feel gold all over.

  I shook my head, rubbing at my neck as the train pulled into Deling Station. I stood and left the SeeD car, the imaginings of nights and days with Sally following on my heels as I made my way down the short hallway and then out of the train--Jaxon waited on the station platform, and he looked like hell. It was early, sure. After all, we all had jobs to do at our Gardens and we wanted to miss as little as possible. But it wasn't early enough for him to look like what he did. He wasn't shaved, he had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair looked as if he'd taken turns pulling at it in different places.

  Shit. I was getting better at things like this, with Sally's help and all the conversations we'd had to have about the sex issue, but... Geez. It would have been nice to have Sally along on this one. I was way out of my league. But I was a SeeD. And I was his friend. And if I could help, I had to do my damndest to get it done.

  I stepped down from the train to meet him on the platform. "Hey, Jax, you--"

  He stepped past me with a muttered, "Don't ask," and then boarded the train.

  I released a quick breath as I stared after him, debating just how much of an ass I wanted to make of myself. Then I shrugged with a 'what the hell' and stepped aboard after him. I entered the corridor just as he stepped into the SeeD cabin, the door closing behind him with a sound that almost seemed to shout 'leave me alone!' I scrubbed at my neck again before mumbling a "Sorry, Jax. Can't." and stepping in after him.

  Sally would've never forgiven me if I hadn't tried to do something.

  I did give him his space, though, sitting on the opposite couch and lacing my fingers behind my head as I crossed my ankle on my knee before speaking. When I focused on Jaxon, I noticed him looking down at a chain while holding something metal in his fingers. It almost looked like ID tags, but there was something more like a locket, too. And the expression on his face almost kept me from asking about it.

  "Ja--"

  "Dincht. Let it be."

  And I'd never heard him say something like that before. Not the words. Nah. I'd heard that lots of times. But it was how he said them. Actually had me hesitate, thinking he might beat the crap out of me. Hm. Maybe if I attacked from a different side.

  I crossed my arms. "Why the blow-off for the bachelor weekend?"

  Jaxon slightly cringed as he tucked the chain back inside his uniform shirt. "I had some reports to finish."

  I leaned back in the seat. "Try again." Sorry, dude. 'No shit' policy, you know.

  Jaxon frowned at me. "I couldn't get away, Zell. Deling is like that. Last minute emergencies. Shit hitting the fan causing fights. Disciplinary actions--"

  "The only shit hitting the fan, Jax, is what you're pulling right now. Hanging out with the boys and me woulda done you some good. Maybe even gotten you outta your head for a little bit."

  Jaxon looked away. "I wasn't ready for that particular journey out of my head."

  "Yeah, well, maybe. Maybe not. But it sure as hell doesn't help to hide from them, either."

  Jaxon glowered at me again. "I told you I'd be GF free for the wedding, so back off!"

  And the red flag had me lifting my hands. "Okay, Jax. Okay." But Sally'll just be asking you at the rehearsal. Maybe she'd have better luck.

  Jaxon ignored me the entire trip to Balamb Garden, only acknowledging anything I said about the rehearsal with a grunt. Half way to Balamb I surrendered and dug my mobile out of my pocket to hit the speed-dial for Sally's phone number.

  "Hey, handsome."

  I grinned and leaned back, one hand holding the back of my head. "Hey, sexy. Who all is there? Besides the Trouble Brigade."

  Sally giggled. Then she listed off, "Cmdr. Squall, SLC Seifer, Ahndra, Marshal, Rinoa, Selphie, Janine..."

  "Mom and Pop?"

  "No. They won't be here until the final rehearsal."

  "Shoot. That sucks." I cleared my throat while sending a glance to Jaxon. During my talk with Sally, his expression had begun to shift green bit by bit. His glare had also turned to something more... painful, I guess. "Heard anything from Quis and Zack?"

  Sally sighed, drawing back my focus. "No," she said morosely.

  "Now, kitten. Don't mope. We can record the wedding and receptions no problem. They'll see it."

  "But I wanted them to be here."

  "Sure. I know. But, well, your brother's a self-centered jerk."

  Sally reluctantly laughed. "Now you sound like one of his ex-wives."

  I grinned. "You laughed, didn'tcha? You're hot when you laugh--"

  Jaxon bolted to his feet and quickly left the cabin. My smile faded as I stared at the closed door.

  "Zell? Sweetie? What's the matter?"

  I lowered my stare to my shoes. "Hey, Sally, Jax isn't doing too great."

  "Oh no," she breathed.

  "And I can't get him to talk about it. He just bites my head off."

  Sally released a deep sigh. "Zell, when he's ready to talk about it, he will. All you had to do was let him know you were ready to listen. He'll remember that."

  I slightly nodded as I rubbed at my scalp. "Okay. Yeah. Sure."

  She sighed again. "Consider yourself hugged, sweetie."

  I softly smiled and opened my eyes. "Thanks, Meg." I adjusted my position in the chair. "So, nervous?" And the rest of the trip was her voice and laughter. You know. The good stuff.

  I didn't see Jaxon until the train arrived in Balamb. When Sally and I said our "see you in a bit"s, and the gushy stuff that actually made me feel 10 feet tall. I left the SeeD cabin to find him standing nose-to-nose with the exit door as he waited for the train to come to a complete stop. I hated to admit it, but the guy looked like a caged animal. It was the hardest thing in the world to let it lie and not ask him what the hell was going on, but Sally's words kept running through my brain. Sure Jaxon and me had a 'no shit' policy, but this was different. Any idiot could see that.

  The door opened and Jaxon stepped ou
t. I paused a second before giving a shake of my head, a deep breath, and then following after him. I'd originally intended to walk to Garden, but Jaxon headed straight to the car rental and rented the SeeD car. His words were rushed and it looked like he even had acquired a body tic. Crap. The guy was about to go through the roof, and I think I knew why.

  The rehearsal.

  The rehearsal and the upcoming wedding were probably bringing back every memory and moment with his dead fiancée. Things he probably didn't want to remember. Things that ate him up inside the same as Squall's past had eaten at him. And just like then, I couldn't do a damn thing but be as supportive as possible. It sucked.

  I stepped up and took the keys from him with a curt, "I'll drive," before passing to the car. "The way your hands are shaking, we'll die on our way there."

  Jaxon didn't say anything. I hadn't expected him to. He only silently followed, climbing into the passenger side of the car to slam the door after him. Then he rested his elbow on the sill and partially covered his face with a hand to his forehead as the other fisted at his knee. I started the car and headed out, doing my best not to say something that would make the situation worse. I felt like an ass just sitting there in the quiet when I had this itch that there was something I could say. But I didn't want to send his day completely to hell, so I just shut up.

  Sally met us at the parking lot looking awesome in a sleeveless dress that was all light and flowy... or something. It was a light pink that had different colors of large flowers in the background that made her look like a walking flower garden. Very hot. Very 'yowza'. Especially with her smile and her eyes twinkling at me as she watched me get out of the car. Sorry, Jax, I thought for a fraction of a second before drawing her close and giving her a nice long kiss. ...dude....

  I lifted my head and grinned at her. Her cheeks were flushed--my favorite color!--and her eyes were to die for. "Hey, sexy. How's my girl?"

  "Wonderful." Her smile crinkled her eyes at the corners before she stepped back and took my hand, lacing my fingers with hers. "Thank you for calling from the train."

  "Sure, kitten. I was bored anyway."

  She softly laughed and shook her head, but when her focus was drawn by Jaxon stepping out of the car, her smile faded a little. "Good morning, Jaxon," she offered hesitantly. "I'm sorry it's so early. Seifer wouldn't let me have an evening rehearsal."

  Jaxon didn't meet her gaze as he responded with a barely audible, "It's fine," as he passed to the sub-corridor that led to the main.

  Sally watched him go before focusing on me, her lips turned downward as her eyes showed sadness and concern. "I... I hope he's going to be okay."

  I drew her into a half-hug as we followed after him more slowly. "Like you said, Meg, when he's ready to talk, he will." I just hope it's before the wedding. Sally deserved the perfect one.

  And the first rehearsal went less than perfect.

  The soundboard for Rinoa's two songs--processional and candle-lighting section--fried a circuit, so Rinoa had to sing without any help. I think Sally called it acappella, or something. It was okay, but it sounded kinda weird to have a song with no other music but her voice.

  The flowers for the aisle had been eaten some time during the night by an escaped creature from the main section of the T.C., so Sally was near tears, Selphie was mortified and had to leave the rehearsal to rush to the florist for more, and Seifer was pissed that someone hadn't locked the main doors to the T.C. after using it.

  Janine was her usual smart-ass self and chose that time to focus on Jaxon, who bit her head off with a comment that had them nearly come to blows. Which, of course, set Seifer off and had him banishing both Janine and Jaxon to separate sections of the area. In fact, Janine was exiled to the main section of the T.C. with an order to "cool off" via beating the crap out of the beasties inside.

  Squall, Sally, and my part of the ceremony was the only perfection and put a small smile back on Sally's face. But I noticed Jaxon looked very yellow as he stood off to one side. In fact, it looked as if he'd hurl any second. Squall noticed, too, and only had Sally and me rehearse our cues a couple times before dismissing everyone and reminding them about the final rehearsal that next Saturday.

  Jaxon bolted out of the T.C. with a muttered comment about going back to Deling alone and leaving Sally, Squall, Seifer, and me staring after him.

  I released a slow and deep breath, giving Sally's hand in mine a gentle squeeze while thinking to myself Don't ask, guys. I wouldn't have known how to tell them. Luckily, they didn't ask. "Come on, Sally. Let's go get some lunch."

  She nodded and then followed beside me from the T.C.

  I felt an ass for making Jaxon do this, but something told me it was the best thing. I don't know. Something about facing our pasts so we could move on. I don't think Jaxon ever had the chance to do that. Now was that chance, and if he couldn't do it now. . . . Sally stepped a little closer, so I released her hand and draped my arm around her shoulders to pull her against me. I kissed her temple. "He'll be okay, kitten."

  I just hoped I wasn't telling her my first lie.