by Helen Savore
“I’m sorry, once mighty tree. You deserved better.” She picked up a wood chip and flipped it within her left hand.
She stood and walked into her office. “Modern structures”—she balled her hand and hurled the chip away—“they leave nothing good behind. It all goes up in dust and smoke.”
Alexandrea panted, not from the exertion of the throw, but in trying to control the emotional outpouring round a lifeless building. She had failed.
It didn’t have to come to this. She had chosen to retrofit her father’s practice into a bookstore. If she hadn’t been so presumptuous it would still be here, and continue to stand here, regardless of her actions. This would have been the true testament to her father’s life, his impact on her, and the town. But she stole it with her selfish double life.
Moralynn’s voice interrupted her internal monologue. “This could have been worse.”
She blinked, trying to hide the moisture in her eyes before turning to face her. “I know.” She held her eyes closed a moment. “It’s still tragic.”
She was so upset she barely registered that Moralynn had returned. Although in the moment Alexandrea had been worried when she followed Raebyn, there was no question she would survive. It might not be pleasant, or easy, but Moralynn could come back from most anything, even burrowing into the Earth Marrow.
She dashed away from Moralynn’s nearing hand and tapped one of the larger piles. Her hand buckled, it was the one she’d injured. She steadied herself with wind and set to putting the hand to right. Moralynn would not approve.
“I know I would have said goodbye to this place someday,” said Alexandrea, “but I always assumed it would still be here. That it would continue in some form or another.”
She hunted for the right words. Moralynn always grew uncomfortable when she spoke about her father. Not for the first time she wondered how long he had lasted as Moralynn’s apprentice before he, too, forgot. When she was younger she never put it together, but after her parents passed, she realized it. Her imaginings kept them alive in her mind, and she had begun to imagine her father, a teenager, also being taught by Moralynn. Perhaps that brought him to medicine when he forgot how to use life shaping.
Moralynn stepped into her peripheral vision. Black gauzes and silk wrapping covered her usual chain mail. When she moved, darkness oozed forward and trailed smoke.
“This was your home,” she said, grasping Alexandrea’s hand, making her meet her eyes. “It is right to mourn the destruction of your home.”
Alexandrea blushed. She should have realized Moralynn would be sympathetic, even if she didn’t share her same feelings about the store. She shouldn’t assume her mentor would be so harsh. “But it was only a place?”
Moralynn’s head dropped, shifting over the remains. “It was a kind of life, though not as we know it. It still deserves our respect.”
Alexandrea smiled and squeezed her hand as she spoke the traditional words. “Its time is over, though mine continues. It will be reborn again.”
They knelt together and thrust their hands into the debris.
Each echoed the next words. “May we meet in the next life.”
The ground shook beneath their joined hands.
Moralynn smiled. “Perhaps we should be grateful the earth produces more silent lumbers.”
“Yes.”
Alexandrea let go of Moralynn’s hands and lifted herself. The uneven ground tipped her, and she reached out to Moralynn to steady herself.
Moralynn rose in a single motion, despite balancing Alexandrea.
“Thanks, that helped.” She grimaced and shuffled again. “Did you catch him?”
“No.”
Alexandrea maneuvered to look her in the face. Moralynn twisted away, leaving black wisps in her wake. Alexandrea followed and caught her shoulder. “Why did you come?”
Moralynn cocked her head, the trailing gauze jerking like suspended ink in the air. “I came to make sure you escaped. That you handled things well.”
“No,” Alexandrea shook her head, “why did you come to the store? You knew Raebyn was here.”
Moralynn ducked her head, the black gauze following her like a shadow. “Boderien’s shade came to me on Annwn.”
Alexandrea squeezed her eyes and sniffled. It was as she suspected. Still, she’d hoped she was wrong. She wiped her nose, feeling guilty. Here she was mourning a damn building and her… well, she couldn’t quite say what Boderien was to her, but he was something. He was a person who had lived a long life and been a something to many people, and now he was gone.
He would rest on Annwn and eventually be reborn, though he would reincarnate as someone new, so would it even be him again? He would be their enemy, though it was unlikely Alexandrea would live long enough to know it. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
She realized she’d been silent for too long, but looking back to Moralynn, she waited, patient, with droopy eyes.
“I’m sorry…” she started, but couldn’t find the right words. He was their ally, he was a Smith, but he had also been her imaginary friend during her earliest years.
What had happened? It was Raebyn, it had to be, but how did he get into her home? She sighed. She’d have to search all the nooks and crannies once she returned.
After she was done here.
There was no rush, though. She no longer had anything driving her. There would be no Grail plate, no way to summon the Phoenix, and the world would spin on as it had for centuries.
“Well…” Alexandrea spun herself, arms outstretched, catching a bit of the gentle breeze. “You see what happened here.”
“The building, yes.” Moralynn drifted to face away from Alexandrea. “Did you save all the people?”
Alexandrea sagged. “Enough. The lingerers are in the hospital. They’re confused, but I did what I could.”
She spun away, hiding the forming smile. It didn’t feel right, even though she was pleased that when pushed into a dangerous situation, she handled it well. Gwen was both worse and better than she should be. Alexandrea had felt her half-healed wound in the ambulance, and with only Jamie’s words to guide her she’d managed to salvage it.
Jamie, here? She hadn’t imagined him? No, she couldn’t linger on that, she still was on damage control.
Her shaping never worked like that in the past, and she was loath to find another situation to try again. She typically needed touch as a conduit to life shape.
The Phoenix would now likely not fly, but maybe there was something she could do with that. Could she extend her range? Become a walking healer? That would be quite the string of unexplained occurrences, but if magic wasn’t coming back properly, be damned with that.
A touch of psyche shaping may help with that, granted… Alexandrea frowned. “My torc broke. I don’t have many foci with psyche abilities besides that and the bracelet. Certainly none that strong.” Her left hand caressed her now empty neck where her torc once lay. Her right took the broken parts from her pocket and offered them to Moralynn.
“I’m not sure how clear a memory I placed in the last few people. It was too much too fast. I know you’ve taught me to harness the confusion, but it isn’t a skill to be learned during a fraction of a single human lifespan.”
Moralynn took the pieces from Alexandrea, stark still. “I understand, but that is unfortunate. It is unlikely that I would be able to procure another.”
Things were worse than a broken trinket, but her teacher humored her well. “What set off Raebyn?”
“I do not know. If I understood how that particular fae jumps to conclusions, the world would be a different place.” Moralynn clenched her hand into a fist.
Alexandrea shuffled her foot in the junk. If Moralynn did not say more then there wasn't likely anything else to share. Still. “Could he know about our Grail attempts? I think that was the new fire-life foci he was swinging around?”
Moralynn’s eyes darkened, but she did not answer.
Something snappe
d, and Alexandrea spun around to find a figure walking towards them, just on the edge of the wreck.
“Someone is coming.” Alexandrea said, and she moved back towards the street. “I hope someone isn’t trying to get me to move along. They don’t understand I’m perfectly safe here.” She looked to Moralynn. “Are you going to…?”
“It doesn’t look like a child.” She crossed her arms. “I am not yet ready to retire.”
Alexandrea stepped amongst the rubble and squinted into the horizon. The setting sun blurred her vision. She brought a hand to her brow. “Hello?”
“Drea!” Jamie came into focus, his tousled hair flipping a bit in the wind.
“Jamie?” she yelled and stopped herself from taking a step forward. No, not here, now now. She literally was in a wreck, this wasn’t how she…
There was a reason she had made a clean break of things when he went off to school. She hugged herself. Things had changed. She stamped a foot. No, this was not the right time. She needed to figure out her life again before she could tell where he might fit.
“Drea! Drea!” Jamie yelled and jogged closer, reaching out to her.
Her body betrayed her stepping in to the embrace, but instead Jamie nearly plowed her over.
But he grabbed Alexandrea, steadying her potential fall. “Drea, what are you doing out here? It isn’t safe.”
Her breath hitched. For a moment the world paused, like when she found herself caught in a spell, and it was just her and him, twined together. But his face remained hard. She pushed away.
“I am being careful,” she said. She wagged a finger at him. “I also didn’t run over half the structure.”
Jamie gritted his teeth. “Okay, but I had to reach you, and…” His eyes glanced around and his breathing slowed. “Can we both agree we’re being reckless and move on? You don’t wear it so well, Drea. Leave the risks to me.”
Alexandrea laughed. She couldn’t help it, the way he phrased it, a perfect mixture of pushy and apologetic, was too much. She shrugged at Moralynn not daring to speak her. “Okay, let’s shuffle to the side.”
Once they both reached what used to be the back alley he breathed a sigh of relief. “So Drea, how are you feeling?”
Alexandrea settled against a wall, noting Moralynn come closer, but not all the way, staying behind Jamie.
“Better,” she said, “but Jamie, what are you doing here?”
Jamie glanced back towards the wreck and shrugged. “I heard you’d just been discharged. I thought you might be here.”
But why was he here? She couldn’t handle this. She wanted to focus on the store, no, their situation. What came next, now that they had lost Boderien? Would Raebyn attack again? She didn’t want to consider Jamie at all; she had a calling. When she first woke after the store fell, she had the sense to act in worse shape, but that forethought melted away when she found Jamie staring at her. He was really there, not some figment of her imagination. His eyes were filled with concern, like the last time she’d held them. But this time it was a different concern.
“Yes, well, you were right.” She bit her lip as her eyes trailed to Moralynn, who remained silent. Jamie couldn’t see her. As much as Moralynn respected her actions, she wasn’t sure she could have this conversation in front of her mentor. She’d rather be having a different one with her now, but how to tell a worried Jamie she wanted to talk to her invisible friend instead? They weren’t kids anymore.
“You took a bit to come find me,” she said.
“I wasn’t on shift. I—” He paused and gulped. “I’m on suspension.” He shook his head. “I knew I was crossing a line, there’s protocol for a reason. But I”—his eyes flicked up—“I couldn’t leave anyone down there, not if I could help.”
Now Alexandrea’s eyes fell. “That’s very noble of you.”
“It was very stupid of me.” He guffawed as a hand trailed up his neck into his hair. “I could have gotten people even more hurt.”
Alexandrea gulped. No, he was trying to help them, while she… She wanted to protect folks from fae secrets; she held them back. She had to, but it was still on her that anyone was in danger in the first place, and here her old friend was ready to take the blame.
It had been years since Alexandrea called him friend. She had built those walls first when she got serious with Moralynn and the fae. Jamie was too curious, and reckless, as he said. She worried about what he’d do if he discovered something. It became worse as they got older. He worked so much with her father. It was ironic that her father was disappointed with her for not pursuing medicine when she instead learned to be a Druid. After he died, thinking of Jamie brought back memories of her father, and she couldn’t stand the grief. Those thoughts often led to the funeral and its aftermath, which she quickly put out of her mind.
His eyes fell, and she realized he thought her silence meant she agreed. “No, Jamie. Okay, true, you can never know, you were trying to help. That can never be wrong.”
Alexandrea’s gaze lingered on his pained expression.
She took a step forward. She could stretch the truth, if only to help him. “I appreciate you finding me. I don’t want to think what would have happened if you hadn’t.”
Jamie blinked and took a step forward, too. They were close enough to embrace, but he didn’t attempt to. “It would have branded me a coward. Drea, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you I was home.”
Wallowing. This wasn’t like Jamie. This was going to take more than a few minutes. She put a hand on his shoulder, but looked over the other one at Moralynn and shrugged.
Moralynn smiled. “I shall wait.” She pointed and summoned wind to ascend into the sky. She jumped into the air until she passed the rooftops and disappeared towards home.
Alexandrea smiled. She could now have this conversation in peace. And another one later. “Jamie, I know you have a whole life, one that certainly does not center round…” She paused. What had they been before she spurned modern society? “Old childhood friends. It’s fine.”
He stepped back, glancing around. He took in a deep breath. “You’re being too understanding.”
“And you’re being too apologetic.”
“Don’t tell anyone.” He winked. “Want to start over? Maybe with a walk through the village?” He motioned to the path out of the alley.
Alexandrea fell into place beside him. “I’m really sorry about the suspension.”
“It happens.”
“How long?”
“About a week.” He tapped the stone of the closest storefront. “How long until the store is fixed?”
She shook her head, peering into the next square. “I’m not even sure I should rebuild it.”
Jamie grabbed her arm.
She felt a jolt. She grimaced and looked at Jamie. Were her foci responding to him or something else? He shook and caught her eye. Brown eyes met darker brown until they blinked.
“You should.”
She couldn’t help the smile that crept over her face. It was an innocent comment, but coming on the heels of her grief and worry for the future, it bolstered her. “But how would you know? You never got to properly see it.”
He dropped her arm and blinked. “You’re right. So, tell me all that I’ve missed.”
13
Alexandrea fiddled with the door. Someone had thoughtfully left the entryway lighted, probably Phil, but it was too late for him or Janene to be about. She’d stayed out much later than planned, her conversation with Jamie winding every which way in order for them to catch up. There was too much to share in one night, so she agreed to meet after his next football match.
Still, after a brief stay at the hospital, and a surprisingly good talk, it was nice to be home. Her eyes trailed over the details that made this a home, rather than a utilitarian hospital, where everything was efficiently shared. This was unique, colorful, and maybe a touch wasteful in parts, though not too opulent.
Her eyes swung to the old stone wall on the left, separ
ating the modern from the restored part of the home.
She and Moralynn hadn’t had enough time to discuss things before she left her store in ruins. Raebyn had struck here, too, and Boderien… Alexandrea hung her head and almost couldn’t put her hand on the handle of the red door. Earlier she mourned a store, a structure, but no matter how important it had been to her it wasn’t a living thing. She wasn’t even sure how many human lifetimes Boderien had lived, but it was a lot. He had been willing to live them outcast, supporting Moralynn’s cause, often alone.
She grasped the handle, holding her breath, and pushed.
The first hall was bare.
Oh course. If there were no alerts of break-ins in the modern home, Raebyn wouldn’t have struck here, so close. It would be at Boderien’s workshop, or the hidden courtyard. She was alone, so didn’t have to hide or be cautious. She strode from room to room, not with confidence, but determination. She tapped the sequence in the last stone wall without a hitch, and once the wall pulled away, walked forward with closed eyes.
“You have come this far. You should see.”
She opened her eyes. Moralynn stood beside the worktable. So she had lingered. When Alexandrea’s quick chat with Jamie turned into dinner and another stroll, she’d worried her mentor would leave. She felt guilty for taking so long, but then maybe she had been trying to put this off.
The room was chaos. Tools strewn all around, on the floor, across tables. Some still hung, but none in the right places. The anvil was nowhere to be seen, and the bellows was ripped apart from the furnace. And this was not the worst.
Boderien lay on the worktable, unmoving.
Alexandrea rushed forward, but held her hand in check, suddenly hesitant. It had been how long? What could she possibly do?
“It is a kind impulse,” Moralynn answered her unspoken questions. “If I had to guess, the blow was swift, before this wreck.” Moralynn threw back a hand. “Though knowing him, that would upset him more.”
“Swift journey to Annwn’s shores…” Alexandrea lifted her head. “Though the journey is already done.”